crisp cool and refreshing....'s Blurty

im slightly jealous but not really.....
im scared that i could too easily get used to the idea of living here.
i don't want to go home.
home= war paper and memorization of my part in a play.
it also equals HELGA (which is good)
i want to forget him and i have....but im jealous of his friendships....his laughter with anyone but me.
why do i resort to meditating on such things that are probably just figments of my imagination.
i must keep reminding myself. i sometimes hate love.