| You could never know... | ||||
| 06:19pm 06/12/2005 | ||||
Lately I've been feeling so bad...I feel taken advantage of and not appreciated for all I do...by a lot of people, whether they know they are doing it or not...I mean c'mon, I sit there and listen to you guys and your problems and never tell you mine...i help--or try to help--you guys through your problems...I do the best I can...but lately I really haven't had time...while I'm typing this, I'm writing my essay sos ya'll know...but I just feel so beat down and left out...even after all everyone tells me about their lives...I still feel like I'm being pushed away from everyone. It's senior year and everyone is hanging out more and having a blast--with half days...yet here I am, stuck in this stupid daily routine of school, homework, school, homework...I can't do anything or go anywhere...honestly...I have to make plans days to weeks in advance and they are still subject to change...yet I'm sitting here listening to how bad everyone's lives are...at least you have friends/boyfriends/girlfriends to lean on...friends including me...but everyone else can go out and hang out and you can spill your lives to them...I feel like I'm losing everyone...and comments like "you don't know, you're never there so don't try to help" really hit home with me...it may not seem like it, but they really do...i mean...don't you think i try? I try to be a friend...what a friend should be...supportive in everything you do, a shoulder to lean on, a hug when you need one, an ear to listen to your venting...I TRY...but I can only handle SO MUCH...alot of you think I have anger management issues, going off pn every little thing...but you don't know...it's only because I don't go off on the big things...I don't know how vague this is...probablly not as vague as I want it to be but I really just don't care anymore...I just can't wait til I leave...8 1/2 months...then I'm gone Crying is something I just can't do....to me, it's giving up...and to me, giving up is weak...Crying is weak...I refuse to do it... ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ It starts with one thing I don't know why It doesn't even matter how hard you try keep that in mind I designed this rhyme To explain in due time All I know Time is a valuable thing Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings Watch it count down to the end of the day The clock ticks life away It's so unreal Didn't look out below Watch the time go right out the window Trying to hold on, but didn't even know Wasted it all just to watch you go I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I tried so hard And got so far But in the end It doesn't even matter I had to fall To lose it all But in the end It doesn't even matter One thing, I don't know why It doesn’t even matter how hard you try, keep that in mind I designed this rhyme, to explain in due time I tried so hard In spite of the way you were mocking me Acting like I was part of your property Remembering all the times you fought with me I'm surprised it got so (far) Things aren't the way they were before You wouldn't even recognize me anymore Not that you knew me back then But it all comes back to me (in the end) You kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I I tried so hard And got so far But in the end It doesn't even matter I had to fall To lose it all But in the end It doesn't even matter I’ve put my trust in you Pushed as far as I can go And for all this There's only one thing you should know I tried so hard And got so far But in the end It doesn't even matter I had to fall To lose it all But in the end It doesn't even matter I tried so hard And got so far But in the end It doesn't even matter I had to fall To lose it all But in the end It doesn't even matter --------------------------------- Do you ever feel like breaking down? Do you ever feel out of place? Like somehow you just don't belong And no one understands you Do you ever want to run away? Do you lock yourself in your room? With the radio on turned up so loud That no one hears you screaming No you don't know what it's like When nothing feels alright You don't know what it's like To be like me To be hurt, to feel lost To be left out in the dark To be kicked when you're down To feel like you've been pushed around To be on the edge of breaking down And no one's there to save you No you don't know what it's like Welcome to my life Do you wanna be somebody else? Are you sick of feeling so left out? Are you desperate to find something more Before your life is over? Are you stuck inside a world you hate? Are you sick of everyone around? With their big fake smiles and stupid lies While deep inside you're bleeding No you don't know what it's like When nothing feels alright You don't know what it's like To be like me To be hurt, to feel lost To be left out in the dark To be kicked when you're down To feel like you've been pushed around To be on the edge of breaking down And no one's there to save you No you don't know what it's like Welcome to my life No one ever lied straight to your face And no one ever stabbed you in the back You might think I'm happy But I'm not gonna be ok Everybody always gave you what you wanted You never had to work It was always there You don't know what it's like What it's like To be hurt, to feel lost To be left out in the dark To be kicked when you're down To feel like you've been pushed around To be on the edge of breaking down And no one's there to save you No you don't know what it's like (what it's like) To be hurt To feel lost To be left out in the dark To be kicked When you're down To feel like you've been pushed around To be on the edge of breaking down And no one's there to save you No you don't know what it's like Welcome to my life Welcome to my life Welcome to my life |
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| Since we're all seniors...GOSH DO YOU REMEMBER THE GOOD DAYS?!?!?!?! | |||
| 04:21pm 25/10/2005 | |||
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Before the Internet or Text messaging... Before the shots and joints Before Sidekicks & Ipods Before Playstation2 or X-BOX Before the 5 hours of homework you put off every night... When gas was $0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was a new thing... When we recorded stuff on VCRs & paid $3.50 for a movie... When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off our WALKMANS!!! ***Way back... Tag I'm talkin' bout hide and go seek at dusk! Red light, Green light! Heads up 7 up! Playing kickball & dodgeball until your porch light came on. Hopskotch! Mother May I? Red Rover four square Hula Hoops Running through the sprinkler Happy Meals where u chose a Barbie or a Hot Wheels car Getting the privelage to sit in the front seat of the car ***Wait... ....Watchin' Saturday Morning cartoons & Price is Right... ...Hey Arnold and Doug, RUGRATS! Gullah Gullah Island The Original Power Rangers! Or what about... Legends of the Hidden Temple!!! The Mysteries of Shelby WOO! Ren and Stimpy Global Guts!! Double Dare!!! Rocko's Modern Life! AAAHH!! Real Monsters!!! Wild & Crazy Kids! ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK! The Original 'All That' Cast Members! Pete and Pete! My Brother and Me!! Kenan and Kel!!! lolz (who loves orange soda) SALUTE YOUR SHORTSS Who could forget Snick?! & Nick at Nite! with Bewitched, I Dream of Jeanie, facts of life & I LOVE LUCY!!! & every1 wanted to be in love after watching THE WONDER YEARS! ***Not finished yet... Kool-Aid was the drink of the summer Giving your friends a ride on your handlebars or spokes Wearing your new shoes on the first day of school Class Field Trips When Christmas time was the most EXCITING time of the year! When nearly everyone's mom was at home when the kids got there. When getting high was swinging on the swingset When $5 seemed like a million, and another dollar a Miracle. When you begged to go to McDonalds, for dinner...EVERYDAY. When Toys r Us overuled the "mall" ***Go back to the time when... nobody had cable & people watched THE BOX on channel 25 & called & paid to watch music videos!!!! Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-moe" Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "do over!" "Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest. Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in "monopoly" It wasn't odd to have two or three "best" friends. Being old, referred to anyone over 20. The chance to couple skate at Skate City was like winning the lottery.... The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was cooties. Nobody was prettier than Mom Nobody was cooler than Dad Scrapes and bruises were kissed and made better It was a big deal to finally be tall enough to ride the "big people" rides at the fair... Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down was cause for giggles. If you can remember most or all of these, then you have LIVED!!! Post this to your bulletin if you remember these days, these days when you had a blast being a kid! I TRIPLE dog dare you! ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Ironically I'm listening to a song that is all about the "dawning of the rest of our lives".. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ To all my friends...since we're going down memory lane...this one's for you: When you're the best of friends Having so much fun together You're not even aware, you're such a funny pair You're the best of friends Life's a happy game You could clown around forever Neither one of you sees, your natural boundaries Life's one happy game If only the world wouldn't get in the way If only people would just let you play They say you're both being fools You're breaking all the rules They can't understand, the magic of your wonderland Hu-hu-hu When you're the best of friends Sharing all that you discover When that moment has past, will that friendship last? Who can say? There's a way! Oh I hope... I hope it never ends 'Cause you're the best of friends |
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| my birthday and traits | ||||||
| 04:17pm 25/10/2005 | ||||||
~*~*~*~ Homework time...oh joy ~*~*~*~ ~HOW I FEEL~ chorus: I tear my heart open, I sow myself shut My weakness is that I care too much My scars remind me that the past is real I tear my heart open just to feel Drunk and I'm feeling down And I just wanna be alone I'm pissed cause you came around Why don't you just go home Cause you channel all your pain And I can't help to fix myself Your making me insane All I can say is chorus I tried to help you once A kiss will only vise I saw you going down But you never realized That your drowning in the water So I offered you my hand Compassions in my nature Tonight is our last dance chorus I'm drunk and I'm feeling down And I just wanna be alone You shouldn't ever came around Why don't you just go home? Cause your drowning in the water And I tried to grab your hand And I left my heart open But you didn't understand But you didn't understand You fix yourself I can't help you fix yourself But at least I can say I tried I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life I can't help you fix yourself But at least I can say I tried I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life chorus x2 |
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contemplative
| This sounds like me | ||||
| 09:30am 14/10/2005 | ||||
 Dominant Personality: Understanding Good Traits: You gravitate towards people, and are a shoulder to lean on. You give advice at any given time. Bad Traits: You aren't close with any one person. You immerse yourself in other people's problems and forget your own. People see you as: Friendly, secretive, and popular. People envy you, and may try and use you as a tool You're most like: Grace. You both have positive relationships with people. Neither of you have close friends, but unlike graceful people, you try to help people out and aren't as arrogant. You need more: Solitude. You hardly get the chance to breathe when you take on the world's problems. You can't take other's responsibilities or put them before your own. Be selfish once in a while and discover who you really are. What's your dominant trait? (10 unique results) brought to you by Quizilla |
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calm| All that crap from MySpace | ||||||||||||
| 09:27am 14/10/2005 | ||||||||||||
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drained
| PHENOMENAL DAY | ||||
| 07:35pm 30/09/2005 | ||||
So I'm getting a 95 in AP English...flippin sweet! then...I get to physics where we have our practicum...that was so much fun...NOT...my group is some really awesome girls! (Jing, Megan, Sarah) but I think we all need to just calm down...AVERAGES! hahahaha sorry...it all makes sense...average is half so multiply by two and we got the right answer...we should've just done the .3m and .5m average...oh well...we still got a ten because I have the best group ever! ^_^ I'm so excited right now...then at the end we get our grades right? GUESS FREAKIN WHAT!?!?!?! 90.21%!!!!!!!!!!! ah!!! I managed an A in Physics...HONORS Physics...my first time! Now I must keep that A...but I HAVE AN A! I'm so excited!!!! ^_^ let's see..then I get to Econ...we got to draw! I got 100% on that test so I start next quarter with a big fat A...well we drew our "family crest" or whatever where 6 of the things were pictures to draw and 1 was three words to describe us? well...lauren's was awesome of course...and the other Lauren (P) brought us candy! SWEET! Then I find out I have 100% in that class! ^_^ AH! Then I get to math and we get our stuff back...well I got 102 on that quiz and 95 on the 5 questions...but my grade in that class is still a 92.25%...Math and Physics are my lowest grades...but ya know what...first report card since high school (for a quarter) that I've had straight As...last semester I had straight As...but this QUARTER...yea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My parents keep looking at me strangely...^_^ HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAhAHAHAHAHAHAHA.....I couldn't imagine why.... Boy you sure look good there standin’ in the doorway in the sunset light Maybe I read you wrong thinkin’ you could be my Mr. right I was puttin’ my heart and soul on the line Said you needed some time, just a little more time to make up your mind Well it’s been long enough Time is up Bye bye love, I’ll catch you later Got a lead foot down on my accelerator and the rearview mirror torn off I ain’t never lookin’ back. and that’s a fact. I’ve tried all I can imagine I’ve begged and pleaded in true lover’s fashion I’ve got pride, I’m takin’ it for a ride Bye bye, bye bye my baby, bye bye Don’t think all those tears are gonna hold me here like they’ve done before You’ll find what’s left of us in a cloud of dust on highway 4 Baby what did you expect me to do Just sit around and wait on you Well I’m through watchin’ you just skate around the truth And I know it sounds trite I’ve seen the light Bye bye love, I’ll catch you later Got a lead foot down on my accelerator and the rearview mirror torn off ’cause I ain’t never lookin’ back, and that’s a fact. I’ve tried all I can imagine I’ve begged and pleaded in true lover’s fashion I’ve got pride, I’m takin’ it for a ride Bye bye, bye bye my baby, bye bye I’d lost the game I guess I did my best to win the part Now I’m leavin’ here with what’s left of my heart. Bye bye, I’ll catch you later Got a lead foot down on my accelerator and the rearview mirror torn off ’cause I ain’t never lookin’ back. You can count on that. I’ve tried all I can imagine I’ve begged and pleaded in true lover’s fashion I’ve got pride, I’m takin’ it for a ride Bye bye, bye bye my baby, bye bye Bye bye Ooh baby Oh oh Bye bye, bye bye my baby, bye bye Get the clue? |
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ecstatic| Yea... | ||||
| 03:35pm 30/08/2005 | ||||
"It's Been A While" And it's been awhile Since I could hold my head up high And it's been awhile Since I first saw you And it's been awhile Since I could stand on my own two feet again And it's been awhile Since I could call you And everything I can't remember As fucked up as it all may seem The consequences that I've rendered I've stretched myself beyond my means And it's been awhile Since I can say that I wasn't addicted And it's been awhile Since I can say I love myself as well And it's been awhile Since I've gone and fucked things up just like I always do And it's been awhile But all that shit seems to disappear when I'm with you And everything I can't remember As fucked up as it all may seem The consequences that I've rendered I've gone and fucked things up again Why must I feel this way? Just make this go away Just one more peaceful day! And it's been awhile Since I could look at myself straight And it's been awhile Since I said I'm sorry And it's been awhile Since I've seen the way the candles light your face And it's been awhile But I can still remember just the way you taste And everything I can't remember As fucked up as it all may seem to be I know it's me I cannot blame this on my father He did the best he could for me And it's been awhile Since I could hold my head up high And it's been awhile Since I said I'm sorry So yea...day at ASU...it was ok...just called Kyle...left a message...I'm so indifferent right now... DANCE PICTURES MOVED TO THURSDAY! ^_^ yea...though we help tryouts for a dance I really wanted to be in....:( oh well...can't have everything i suppose.. "Good Morning starshine. The earth says...'hello!'" hahaha Go Johnny Depp... I <3 the Canterbury Tales! Ya....Beowulf test was alright...easy...probaly missed 2 or 3...oh well...sigh... can't you tell I'm so indifferent? |
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indifferent| Alright...rough draft of personal essay I'm NOT using | ||||
| 10:07pm 23/08/2005 | ||||
Mrs. Stafford, Period 0 Personal Essay 22 August 2005 Aren’t Cats always supposed to land on their feet? Looking back and wondering how I have become what I have become, I realize it can all be described in three words: Larry, Curly and Moe. Thinking about my youth makes me conscious to the fact that I was always having problems with people, trees, cars, or any other stationary object. A Three Stooges play-by-play ran through my memories, haunting my every move. The most recent event was when as an eleven-year-old, I rollerbladed into my friend’s glass door. While many people have smacked into a few glass doors or windows, they at least had been spot free and clean, unlike my friend’s back door. Somehow, I managed to hit my face on the door and turn my body to plant my face into her tile floor. I will never forget the big dirt smudge that was level with my face as I smashed into that hot sand-blown entry to the backyard. Of course, one’s reputation usually precedes them. My best friend Nicole came over to play at my house on a cool August afternoon. It was wet, and our clothes stuck to our small, fragile three-year-old frames as we ran around my backyard. We never noticed the blanket of dew around us because it was all we ever knew. What we did notice, however, was me running smack-dab into my playground slide and flipping over myself. Lucky for me, my face broke my fall. We never missed one of those. I was terrified. I had never ridden a bicycle before in my life and there I was, atop a two-wheeler, mounted by force by the four boys two years older and twice as tall as me. The seat on the bike was level with my shoulder, ensuring my tiny legs would never reach the ground. I had a hard enough time reaching the petals. A gentle breeze blew by as they laughed at my mask of terror. Ghost white knuckles gripped the death black handlebars, petrified that if they let go, the small owner of them would fall off the edge of the world. The soft whimpering that escaped my lips did not go unnoticed. It only made their assault more determined. I could hear the click, click, click of the chain as the tires completed revolution after accelerating revolution until, “See ya!” let loose from the pack leader’s mouth. The ravenous wolves stood at the top of the hill watching, laughing as the little blonde girl was forced down it, in her chariot made for her demise. Fortuitously, my face hit the blue convertible car right after the front tire of the bicycle did. Tears poured down my face as I laid on the ground, thanking whatever God there was for his kind mercy of the conveniently placed parked car, which now carried a four-year-old child’s face print with saliva plastered on the window, and a crater in the passenger-side door. About three years later, we relocated to the middle of nowhere, Arizona. In Sierra Vista, I learned that no matter how wet or dry it was, I was just really that clumsy. We would swing on the swings and jump off at the beginning of a new period. Squeak, squeak, went the chains. As our clever second-grade minds went to work, we tried to find Mary Poppins or even Captain Hook in Neverland. Disney provided an endless source of our creativity. Again, I was ever so fortunate to have my face break my fall as we flew from our swinging perches. “No! We want to play ‘boys chase girls’! We always play ‘girls chase boys’! Why can’t we for once?” After a year of pleading, the six ladies obtained their goal: the hooligans would finally chase them. It was a weird form of tag, but a child was assigned another child to chase and hopefully catch. Once everyone was caught, the game was over and won or lost if recess had ended. Little did we know “be careful what you wish for” really did have significance. It was a cool, crisp autumn day in our seven-years-young world. The breeze was gently whispering with my locks of sun blonde hair. Round, chubby cheeks were inflated even more as a wide grin graced my figures. “Ah-ee-ah!” A squeal of delight echoed throughout the playground from each girl, finally delighted with our spoils of battle. Leaves colored like fire crumbled under our careless souls, crunching and grinding into the soft layer of sand over the hard crust of the earth. Dust tickled our noses, but we were too familiar with the offensive works of nature to even notice. We treasured the real nature. How ironic it was. “Kristen, I’ll look back to see where they are. You look forward. Tell me when to duck, ok?” Trees stood in two of the eight corners of our realm. The trees’ arms at ninety degrees completed the square with the fence’s ninety-degree angle. Thinking we could lose the monsters chasing us, we decided to go around one of the trees. “Ok, promise!” My best friend shouted at me. My head craned around to look behind us as we approached the first outstretched branch of the tree. They were gaining on us; any second they would catch us. Claws outstretched, the boys reached for Kristen. “Faster Kristen!” I could hear the soft, dull pounding of our feet and the stampede from our friends John and Chris as they rushed to catch our quickening pace. We slipped under the first branch sending dust at our opponents from the bottoms of our souls. Then it came, “Cat, duck!” The brilliance in my second-grade mind took over as I turned my head, grinned madly and proclaimed, “where?” SMASH! Crack! Thud. I’m so glad my face was there to save the day again. The thick tree branch stared at me, mocking me with its newly created smirk as I lay in the soft dirt. Dust was settling around me as I lay on the ground, not quite sure what had just happened. The first thoughts that ran through my head was, why is my face wet and why can’t I see? The once soft, delicate, pale visage was now earthed. Warm liquid caked a child’s best friend and a mother’s worst enemy to my face. Dirt, dust, tears and bark all provided me a mask not fit for Prince Charming’s grand ball, yet the masquerade continued. People danced around me, turning frantically back and forth looking for some sign of help, some aid from someone, anyone. As I lay in waiting, I can’t help but wonder why the tree was smirking at me. Then it hit me. I had rammed into the tree and snapped the branch. My retinal dependence was not enjoying being thrust into the world so quickly, like a teenager going to college. My hazel orbs darted from face to concerned face, trying to determine where my glasses had fallen. “Cat, are you ok? Here, put these on. Kristen, John, take her to the nurse, please?” My best friends, all helping me rise or sliding my glasses onto my face, surrounded me. Next thing I knew, a pair of strong arms and a pair of gentle arms wrapped around my own shaking limbs. The hot black abyss that lay before us looked overwhelming, but we crossed that parking lot and marched right to the nurse’s office. The dark lifesaver-circles that engulfed my watery, hazel orbs made it look like I had not slept in weeks. “Two black eyes and a chipped front tooth. Cat, this is the first time you have been in here, as opposed to your victims.” I was a wild child that no one crossed twice. An eternity passed while I waited with icy diamonds gracing my landing pad. Finally, the kind healer removed the ice and pronounced me well enough to head back to class. As my assigned torturer and I strolled down the cream halls to class, he threw his arm around my shoulder and mused, “And I thought Cats always landed on their feet.” Looking back on my childhood, I see a Three Stooges episode playing through my memories—someone always getting hurt, hit, poked, kicked, smacked et al. and me always landing on my face. After everything I’ve been through I’ve learned a few things. If something doesn’t work, always pick yourself back up and try again. After all, Thomas Edison never failed. He just found 1000 ways not to make a light bulb. No matter how rough, rowdy or dangerous it was, my childhood taught me to be strong and to expect the unexpected. It opened my eyes to the world around me and about how we can miss so much if we don’t keep our eyes open. But the most important lesson I learned from all of it would have to be: always use your head. |
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tired| Goodnight Moon -- <3 Odd Otter | ||||
| 11:10am 20/08/2005 | ||||
"I see the moon, the moon sees me, the moon sees somebody I like to see. So God bless the moon and God bless me, and God bless the ones I like to see." (camp song..there's more I just don't remember it) "Come out moon, come out wishing star. Come out, come out, whereever you are." - Winnie the Pooh's Grand Adventure: the Search for Christopher Robin. Pooh was singing. Love that movie ^_^ So last night was the best night I've had in QUITE a while, possibly the best night I've EVER had. Joe and I realized just how popular we were! ;) So I show up at HHS pool and lo-and-behold, to my surprise, I see no one I'm on speaking terms with. So I call my bestest friend Reya. She's still at home! :'( I was sad, but then Prince Charming rides along to save the day. Joe and Kayla were there so I let Reya get ready (how selfish I was keeping Ms. Reya on the cellphone, not allowing her to get ready...SHAME on me!). Anyways...we had a blast. We set up and Joe and I dove into the pool. Oh yea, it took us quite a while to figure out it was the BASHA teem at the pool...I niticed it like 2 minutes before it was pointed out, but it didn't register until someone announced it...hahaha. Anyways, we saw Mr. Whorton there and we held speaks with him. To make a long story short, those who were there know how phenomenal it was and those who weren't, well I could never do justice describing how amazing it was. We took TWO pizzas and ate them lol..yes WHOLE pizzas...I only had like two slices because I had already eaten dinner. Then we had snow"cones"...mmm blue raspberry...I had had a nice conversation with Joe--thanks for being concerned Joe! And well, we ran around...we danced to the ChaCha slide and the Electric Slide--which I learned that night thank you! lol Then as soon as we went to go swimming again, we were called out of the pool for a second time because of the storm. Then it drizzled. Ms. Reya and I had a talk as we ate our snowcones then danced and rolled in the rain. Before it was too heavy, we layed on our backs and watched God open up the sky to us. Lighting was--I've never noticed--green, purple, blue, red, yellow and every color you could imagine. I'm so glad Reya made me stop and look up. Then Joe and Margerie came and joined us as it started POURING. Instead of running to find cover like everyone else (who were already wet from the pool anyways), we danced and ran and in my case cartwheeled and layed in the raid again. I loved when we all sang. Those were some good times. My favorite parts of the night had to have been when I joined Reya sitting on the grass staring at the yellow moon (before it rained the second time) with my other friends joining us. Just sitting there, no drama that night, just amazed at the beauty of the moon and the silence. (I'm listening to Amazed by Lonestar..thanks Joe!) The distant sound of the cars that were a whole 20-25 feet away from us..the screaming children in the background...the music that drifted slowly into the back of my mind. The moon is an extraordinary thing. And for the first time since sophomore year with Mr. Miner's Adv Earth and Space, I looked at the moon and saw no science. I always saw beauty, but science added to it. That was the first time in 2 years that I have just seen perfection. The other favorite part was laying on Joe's hood with him and Reya staring at the moon behind the cloud--which changed from a teddy bear, to an old man with hat and pipe, to just everything--and marveling at the atmosphere's seam...you know where they welded the two peices together? gosh, that night was great...everything, from walking around the school, from skating on the "yellow-brick-road" floor in our school, from staring at the moon, from dancing in the rain, from laying on a car hood (which I've ALWAYS wanted to do..I'm a nut I know), to just being there having the time of my life, forgetting about the world and all this petty drama that's going around. There was so much more, but I know I won't ever forget last night. I know, it was simple, but simplicity is what we need more in our lives. I realized, that we just run and run and don't stop to take in what nature and simplicity we are missing out on. I know that happens when you're an adult, but good gravey, we're all 16 or 17 and we're having these problems. I put a simplicity test at the bottom to see what we really to miss out on. I'll put another one up too if I can find it...but later...right now...I'm reflecting on the perfect night last night. Oh, and I'm sorry I made you guys stay so late :( hey joe "drop it! quick drop it! litter! do something!" :D Ms. Reya Das, out to save the universe in two nights! Nothings impossible for Super Reya! I love you two so much! Margerie, Kayla and Diana were also there and that was fun. Joe and Reya have become such dearlings to me these past years, and I don't ever want to lose either of them. That's why we're all attending the Claremont colleges and joe's sleeping under reya's and my bed. :D Gonna go do my personal essay now...I really need to stop and enjoy life more...THANK YOU REYA AND JOE! Everytime I have the best day or night ever, you two always seem to be involved...that's it, you'll never be rid of me...NEVER! mwhahahahahahahah O:D <~~angel ^_^ <3 your Odd Otter > "It's that time of year to take our annual senior > citizen test." > > Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise > of the muscles. As > we grow older, it's important that we keep mentally > alert The saying; "If > you don't use it, you will lose it" also applies to > the brain, so... Below > is a very private way to gauge your loss or > non-loss of intelligence. > > So, take the following test presented here and > determine if you are > losing it or are still "with it." The spaces below > are so you don't see the > answers until you have made your answer. > > > OK, relax, clear your mind and... begin. > > WELL MAYBE NOT THAT CLEAR! > > > 1. What do you put in a > toaster? > > > > > > Answer: "bread." If you said "toast," then > give up now and go do > something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If > you said, "bread," go to > Question 2. > 2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink? > > > > > Answer: Cows drink water. If you said > "milk," please do not > attempt the next question. Your brain is > obviously over stressed and > may even overheat. It may be that you need to > content yourself with > reading something more appropriate such as > Children's World. If you said > "water" > then proceed to question 3. > > 3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a > blue house is made from > blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink > bricks and a black house > is made from black bricks, what is a green house > made from? > > > > > Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green > bricks," what the devil are you still doing > here reading these > questions????? > If you said "glass," then! go on to > Question 4. > > 4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying > at 20,000 feet over > Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the > time was politically > divided into West Germany and East Germany.) Anyway, during the > flight, TWO of the engines fail. The pilot, > realizing that the last remaining > engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing > procedure. > Unfortunately the engine fails before he has time > and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle > of "no man's land" between East Germany and > West Germany. Where would you bury the > survivors? East Germany or > West Germany or in "no man's land"? > > > > > Answer: You don't, of course, bury survivors. > > If you said ANYTHING else, you are a real dunce > and you must NEVER try > to rescue anyone from a plane crash. Your efforts > would not be > appreciated. If you said, "Don't bury the > survivors", then proceed to the next > question. > > 5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a > bus from London to > Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get > on the bus. In > Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people > get on. In Swindon, two > people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 > people get off and 16 people > get on. In Swansea, three people get off and five > people get on In Carmathen, > six people get off and three get on. You then > arrive at Milford Haven. > What was the name of the bus > driver? > > > > > Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! > Don't you remember your own name? It was YOU!! > Now pass this along to all your "smart friends" and > hope they do better than > you did. hahaha |
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| donchya jux wanna puke? | ||||
| 05:47pm 18/08/2005 | ||||
August 15, 2005 5:54 PM God! I so want to do you! HAHA<<< <**brittany in a cupple of weeks**> KYLE O KYLE O KYLE**constantly screaming, even when not experiencing sexual encounters** ahahaha u know im right LIVE IT UP BABY! fersure<3 ♥ kido ♥ August 8, 2005 2:31 PM god........i so want to do u ! comments on kyle's pic on myspace *barfs* |
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exanimate| AUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | ||||
| 03:26pm 18/08/2005 | ||||
It get's better...then he says he's NEVER liked me...ok that hurt...but then he's like....ugh! So he's not a liar? Right, he tells me that the two of us can be fuck buddies...I'm like "yea I'd need some kind of commitment" like a boyfriend right? (not that I would, just as a test/messing around) and he says "fuck that! i told you i don't want a girlfriend right now" ... right ... two days later, he has a girlfriend. LIE! So instead of saying "no offense, but I don't have those feelings for you anymore" or "i'd be more comfortable as friends" or something, he LIES to me because he lacks the BALLS to tell me flat out! UGH! Then he's all "I've never lied" sure, maybe not before then, but that one incident is why I called him a liar. he's done the same to me, except I've NEVER lied to him...EVER! So he lacks those feelings? you know the one's he's never had? So when he said he's loved me since seventh grade? right...that's four years (to sophomore year) before we started going out...there's so much more but in a nutshell "I hope he rots in hell". GREAT SCHOOL! ^_^ So before that my day was pretty good. My kenning for a pen this morning in zero hour was "word processor" hahahha! Yea, so I'm a nerd...then drafting...SO MUCH FUN! I love my day ones...then dance! ^_^ yea! I had an ok dance day...then honors science research...I saw ms reya das and diana eheart again! yea! ^_^ good day at school... I'm gonna be like "so having classes next to you is stalking you right? Because that's the only time I ever see you unless YOU come to MY lunch table to sit with MY friends. Huh, small world eh? Oh and if I'm pissing you off by NOT calling you, because I haven't for the past three days (think tomorrow folks) um yea...sorry? Too bad I said to myself a month of space for you and oh yea...STOP CLINGING TO MY FRIENDS AND TELLING THEM STUFF THAT PERTAINS TO YOU AND ME! THIS WHOLE THING IS BETWEEN YOU AND ME SO STOP SPREADING CRAP LIES TO EVERYONE! GET THE BALLS TO TALK TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" ugh....sorry...makes me fairly angry...fairly, an adjective to describe how angry I am...Minifri is awesome! haahaha... Oh, in Honors Science Research..hahaha I used "Specificity, clarity and conciseness" to describe the journal article...hahahah Mrs. Stafford would be so proud! lol ^_^ I'm such a nut! |
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annoyed| GO TO HELL...full or cursing...ye be warned | ||||
| 04:39pm 15/08/2005 | ||||
So before all this, you know when they LIED to him about me, where did they get the AUDACITY to be so RANCOROUS towards me?!!?! And why the fuck does he think he can "phunk with my heart" and have everything be ok afterwards? THen he goes and tells the bitch that he LOVES her...um yea so he removes my "i love you comment" and margies argreement, but Hi Bestest friend ever x1026544. Yeah, now with Brittany as your girlfriend I can see you more. Wich means I get to laugh at you in person for falling out of a truck that one time....LOL. Yeaaaaa! How bout them dodgers? THEY SUCK!. lol Hey, yeah but fersure<3 See you on Saterday Prince Charming! :) Looooove! Taylor[♥] **smile brittany loves you!** is left by taylor...this one is what started it all: ♥ineeda♥superman 8/12/2005 12:55:00 PM O baby, i want to sex you. Im gonna do u so hard, that u wont be a virgin for ever! Your gonna scream and moan! And your gonna moan MY NAME. {not KATS} Yeah baby! O god KYLE right there! Yeah, no........... no offence baby, not for you! its for somebody els! i just thought it would be fun for shits and giggles! HAHAHA im laughen! oh btw...VOTE BRITTANY AS UR GF! HAHAHAHAAHAHAA.... love you bitch. ♥Taylor. COMMENT BACK LOVER BOY. <3333 so then there's more....taylor again August 8, 2005 1:09 PM BACK OFF LADIES! HES BRITTANYS! and August 15, 2005 7:05 AM hahaha, hey kyle, id so do you, but your BIRTTANYS! so i guess ME AND OTHER GIRLS THAT WOULD NEVER HAVE A CHANCE should back off huh.... i think i heard you say yes! hahaaa yea so he's gone out with her for what....a day? she's also fucking 16!!!! brittanys my space says: "i LoVe My KyLe BaBy........" and MY FAVORITE TV SHOW IS WATCHING MY BF WATCH TV HE HAS THE FUCKING FUNNEST FACE!!! updated YESTERDAY...then he says to brittany 8/15/2005 12:44:00 PM hey sexy....sorry bout last night...but anyway...whats up...hit me up when u get the chance.....i love you kyle I'll hit him up when I get the chance....wait there's more August 15, 2005 11:54 AM hahaha first one to comment....I WIN anyway there is so much drama going on right now with the whole katie thing she keeps fuckin calling me and its pissing me off any way luv yas....Kyle SO HE DOESN"T HAVE THE BLOODY BALLS TO TELL ME TO MY FACE, I HAVE TO GO FIND IT ON MYSPACE!!!!! that rhymed...anyways...I totally want to fucking punch his face in right now...so I'm calling to get him to TALK TO ME and tell me the TRUTH! and he blows me off...if it pisses him off, get the balls to tell me it does! so technically, it's his fault he dug this shithole so deep! by the way...only little boys say I love you and don't mean it...you've been warned... incedentally, the "drama" he's pissed off about, started with his two fucking whores!!!!!!!! oo the irony of it all. If they hadn't've LIED to him in the first place, this shit wouldn't've happened! There's so much to say, but here's this: So he fuckin calls me back FINALLY friday night right? I kept tryin to call him and get him to explain why taylor was all "up in my grill" and find out what the fuck was going on...well when he called he's like, "what's this i hear you talking shit to my myspace friends?" so, i'm so low that your MYSPACE friends mean more to you? second, I have never seen (cept pics via myspace) contacted, talked to, emailed, met, et al. these two whores, so why would I go and say "fuck off he's mine"??!?!?!?!?! I didn't know how he felt (cept part of me knew he and brittany would get together if they weren't already) about her, so I didn't say anything. "hey bitch, back off my man!" then he would be like "yea, she's my girlfriend" then i would've looked like an idiot...don't like that so I didn't...then he has the fucking audacity to call me a liar....I CAN'T STAND LIES AND LIARS!!!!!!!! That's why I was shaking so badly on saturday...because all the little shit piled up and then taylor and brittany lied to kyle to make themselves look better and me look worse...I HATE lies and liars! that's how kyle and I broke up in the first place! And then he goes and LIES TO ME, but has the whole butthurt act that I called him a liar...was it so hard to tell ME that he had a girlfriend? he NEVER told me....I founnd out from ALL my friends, and he finally told me in a text! ok, so he doesn't have the fuckin courage to say it to my face, and the balls to tell me that he doesn't want to be around me...um yea, this by the way popped outta NO WHERE, because THURSDAY everything was fine! This is just a repeat with Tabby...bashing on me while he goes out with her, doesn't have the fuckin courage to tell me...everything is happening again...EVERYTHING...if they have sex, fine, maybe I won't have to hear about how badly he wants to get fucked anymore...I hope he rots in hell... I'm done for now, but just you all watch, this is just a repeat of Tabby...that's right, I'm a bitch...wanna get in my face about it? *deep breath* fuck, I have math homework...I hate my life...so much going on, and this is only part of it... |
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enraged| freakin a | ||||
| 11:47am 13/08/2005 | ||||
I can't STAND liars...that's why I am so pissed... I DON'T need this shit right now.... |
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| :'( | ||||
| 03:07pm 12/08/2005 | ||||
Why can't I get over him? You'd think it'd be easy How far would you go for the ones you love? |
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crushed| Remember When....ARGH! | ||||
| 03:06pm 12/08/2005 | ||||
boys had cooties.. when friends always listened to you.. when dreams were unshattered.. and worries were few.. when recess was too short.. and life was too long.. when decisions came easily.. with no need to belong.. when storks delivered babies.. and passions werent so strong.. when friendships werent broken.. right was right and wrong was wrong.. when bad things didnt happen.. only skinned knees brought tears.. and the night light quieted all our fears.. when decisions were solved by "eenie, meenie, minee, moe".. when boys were so YuCkY!.. and goodbye only meant till tomorrow.. when your clothes didnt need to match.. and real friends didnt part.. and the fun went on forever.. without a broken heart.. getting high meant swinging at the playground.. the worst thing you could get from boys was cooties.. your worst enemies were your siblings.. race issues were who ran the fastest.. war was a card game.. the only drug you knew of was couqh medicine.. wearing skirts didn't mean you were a slut.. The only thing you smoked was the tires on your bike.. the only thing that hurt was skinned knees and.. the only things that can get broken were your toys.. life was simple and care free, but what i remember the most was wanting to grow up.. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ To that HARPIE Girl Fight - Brooke Valentine and Lil' John Boy stop Its about to be a girl fight She really know Brook Valentine Uh huh uh huh Big boi A lil Jon! Its about to be a what! Girl fight ! We bout to throw dem bows We bout to swang dem thangs There's about to be a what? Girlfight! Chapter I There she go talkin' her mess All around town makin' me stress I need to get this off my chest And if her friend want some then she'll be next It really ain't that complicated Y'all walking round looking all frustrated Want some plex come on let's make it Ya acting real hard but I know ya fakin' Know you really don't wanna step to dis Really don't know why you talkin' shit You 'bout to catch one right in the lip It's about to be a what? Girlfight! We bout to throw dem bows We bout to swang dem thangs It's about to be a what? Girlfight! Chapter II We on our way to ya neighborhood The reason why we comin' is understood Me and my girls we down to ride So when you hear us pull up bring ya butt outside And if you try to call ya cousin and nem Don't forget that I got some of dem 'Bout to go real hard 'bout to swang dem thangs 'Bout to feel elbows all in ya brain Know you really don't wanna step to dis Really don't know why you talkin' shit You 'bout to catch one right in the lip It's about to be a what? Girlfight! We bout to throw dem bows We bout to swang dem thangs It's 'bout to be a what? Girlfight! Oh! I know you don't want me to split yo dome! Girl you makin me really mad... Oh! I know you don't want me to split yo dome! I'm about to bruise ya face and it's sad... Big Boi Oh snap these bitches they act like cats In the middle of the dance floor now they preparing to scrap They takin out their scrunchies and pullin' off their pressons The one on the right is the girlfriend and the one the left is the other woman Someone please call security These girls too purty To get down to the nitty titty I mean the nitty gritty I mean her tiitty pretty I'm trippin' Being silly willy Man go on let them hos fight We bout to throw dem bows We bout to swang dem thangs It's about to be a what? ...Girlfight! Don't act like you don't know We right outside yo door See you peekin' out the window I know you ain't talking noise no more -- come outside Don't act like you don't see me It's about to be a...Girlfight! Ok, who does this carp think she is!?!?!?!? OMG so you know what....I LIKE KYLE!!!!!!!! And where does this PERSON come off at?!?!?! I have never met her and she, me!!!!!! So I leave a comment on his my space and she gets all in my face...whether she's kidding or not...UGH! I know I said to myself I wouldn't curse but FUCK ME SO HARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so pissed right now...then I have "friends" who tried to break up me and Kyle before back at their old tricks! I'm so not happy right now...as a matter of fact...I'm so totally PISSED....no that's not it....I can't think of a strong enough word for it...and I'm hurt... I saw Timmy today ^_^...he picked me up and twirled me around...fun times....I HATE PEOPLE! |
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infuriated| Inner Name.... | ||||
| 02:59pm 09/08/2005 | ||||
passionate. You are also beautiful and you are very independant. What should your name really be??? (for girls) brought to you by Quizilla |
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energetic| New stuffs... | ||||
| 02:57pm 09/08/2005 | ||||
You know I can't smile without you I can't smile without you I can't laugh and I can't sing I'm finding it hard to do anything You see I feel sad when you're sad I feel glad when you're glad If you only knew what I'm going through I just can't smile without you You came along just like a song And brighten my day Who would have believed that you were part of a dream Now it all seems light years away And now you know I can't smile without you I can't smile without you I can't laugh and I can't sing I'm finding it hard to do anything You see I feel sad when you're sad I feel glad when you're glad If you only knew what I'm going through I just can't smile Now some people say happiness takes so very long to find Well, I'm finding it hard leaving your love behind me And you see I can't smile without you I can't smile without you I can't laugh and I can't sing I'm finding it hard to do anything You see I feel glad when you're glad I feel sad when you're sad If you only knew what I'm going through I just can't smile without you I love you guys! You two are the best! *BIG HUGS* Thanks Reya for helping me find Ms. Parsons. Much appreciated! You're my next subject for the next hero essay! ;) Remember, look for a black cadillac! "wait! there it is!" "Um Bre, that's a beige chrystler" hahahahaha! Joe, I love your hugs! They are the best! :D I was listening to that song last night and thought of you! and Reya of course...so it's for the both of you! ^_^ Don't worry, I eat...usually ;) lol...YOU CALLIN' ME SKINNY!??!?!?!?! wait....lol *hugs and smiles* I'm bored... What a bitch...must've pissed them off...hahahha how sad is this? ok...BITCH! Let's find out why I dance...I think I'm ok...not great, but not horrible! I LOVE it! Kyle doesn't like dancing... :( makes me sad More later...sigh...Kyle's awesome! I'm so bad I know... |
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| stuffs | ||||
| 04:21pm 08/08/2005 | ||||
dances tomorrow...ya not making up one for this show...maybe for one of the ones in May considering they are TWO FREAKIN WEEKS APART! ugh...sigh...prom is in between...hey, anyone wanna be my date for prom? ;-) SENIOR PROM! SENIOR YEAR! AH! ... :sits and ponders: what you ask? well :sits and ponders the maning of cheese: I like eggs...hahahaha I love you Caitlyn! That was the best... "We'll put a boot up your ass 'cause it's the American way..." Should gays be allowed in the military? Should they be allowed to marry? Go ahead...answer that for me...:sits and taps fingers against each other smiling evily: Go ahead...no but seriously, do...I want to hear peoples opinions and as to why they believe them... I got a 27 out a 30 on that Autobiographical Letter!!!!!! :D Vocab scores tomorrow...*crosses fingers* That hero essay was CRAP! "Baby if you're good to go, we'll go down to Mexico...it'll be just you and me and a moonlight dancin' on the sea, on a spanish guitar melody of a mariachi band." I totally want to go to Mexico...someone wanna come with? |
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confused| stuffs | ||||
| 04:21pm 08/08/2005 | ||||
dances tomorrow...ya not making up one for this show...maybe for one of the ones in May considering they are TWO FREAKIN WEEKS APART! ugh...sigh...prom is in between...hey, anyone wanna be my date for prom? ;-) SENIOR PROM! SENIOR YEAR! AH! ... :sits and ponders: what you ask? well :sits and ponders the maning of cheese: I like eggs...hahahaha I love you Caitlyn! That was the best... "We'll put a boot up your ass 'cause it's the American way..." Should gays be allowed in the military? Should they be allowed to marry? Go ahead...answer that for me...:sits and taps fingers against each other smiling evily: Go ahead...no but seriously, do...I want to hear peoples opinions and as to why they believe them... I got a 27 out a 30 on that Autobiographical Letter!!!!!! :D Vocab scores tomorrow...*crosses fingers* That hero essay was CRAP! "Baby if you're good to go, we'll go down to Mexico...it'll be just you and me and a moonlight dancin' on the sea, on a spanish guitar melody of a mariachi band." I totally want to go to Mexico...someone wanna come with? |
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| I can't believe I'm diong this but here it goes... | ||||
| 02:43pm 22/07/2005 | ||||
"This forest eats itself and lives forever." "He believes you're leading them down into a hole where they may fail to see the proper sun and become trapped like bugs on a rotten carcass." "We say in French, if your brother is going to steal your hen, save your honor and give it to him first."(Now we know why Germany took over so easily...) "Sugar, it's no parade but you'll get down the street one way or another, so you'd just as well throw your shoulders back and pick up your pace." "I decided right then and there to stop pretending I knew more I did. I would be myself, Leah Price, eager to learn all there is to know. Watching my father, I've seen how you can't learn anything when you're trying to look like the smartest person in the room." "There isn't even any mom in there." "...like an oblivious Hester Prynne...dramatic or Diana of the Hunt, or Devil Take Your Social Customs...her bow is her capital D." "When someone has much more than he can use, it's very reasonable to expect he will not keep it all to himself." "By this secret: The smiling bald man with the grandfather face has another face." "This I must have learned, the night God turned his back on my: how to foretell the future in chicken bones." "Jesus lost eleven to fifty-six." "...all animals kill to survive, and we are animals." "The death of something living is the price of our survival, and we pay it again and again. We have no choice. It is the one solemn promise every life on earth is born and bound to keep." "Abundance disappeared before our eyes. Where there was plenty we suddenly saw not enough." "The substance of grief is not imaginary. It's as real as rope or the absense of air, and like both those things it can kill." There...there's some of my quotes...I won't put the ones that give stuff away...but these are some that I found amusing, foreshadowing or important. hahaha...bored...Lauren's coming over tonight! yea!!!! ^_^ hahahah...4 days! then starts the 316 days!!!! AH! |
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