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No longer happy. [25 Feb 2004|12:40pm]
[ mood | enraged ]

You know, it's fine to be judgemental. I really don't mind because everyone is entitled to their thoughts and opinions. It's okay to be concerned. It's even okay to express your concern to someone.

But don't make my friends cry.
If you make her cry again because she made choice that you don't agree with, I will not fucking stand for it.

Live your own lives and keep you FUCKING noses out of other peoples.

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::humming to self:: [19 Jan 2004|12:06am]
[ mood | mellow ]

Have you ever:
1.Kissed your cousin: eewwww no
2.Ran away: Nope
3.Pictured your crush nak.ed: I stopped getting crushes when I was in 7th grade. I don't do unrequited love.
4.Broken someone's heart: Oh goodness yes. I seem to be a heart breaker
5.Been in love: Possibly
6.Cried when someone died: Yes
7.Wanted someone: Course
8.Broken a bone: My femur, actually. No one knows how tho
9.Lied: duhhh
10.Cried in school: yes


11.Coke or Pepsi: That's funny...
12.Sprite or 7UP: 7up
13.Gi.rls or Guys: That depends...
14.Tall or Short: Tall is so nice yet so hard to find
15.Pants or Shorts: pants


16.What do you notice first: Whether or not they have a good presence
17.Last person you slow danced with: Britt tried to dance with me the other night, but I seemed to be to drunk to even stand
18.Worst Question To Ask: So how was that?


19.Showered: 7 hours ago
20.Taken a bath: Oh goodness... Monday actually.
21.Your Good Luck Charm: I don't believe in luck
22.Person You Most, you know: Person I most? Excuse me?
23.Best Thing That Has Happened to you in the past year: So much has happened in the past year...


24.Color: Purple Hyacinth
25.Movie: Superstar
26.Juice: Apricot
27.Finger: Right pinky
28.Ice Cream: Moosetracks
29.Season: Autumn
30.Breakfast Food: Grits


31.Makes you laugh the most: Ellen
32.Makes your messages: Salem chicas
33.Can make you feel better no matter what: Paula
34.Has A Crush On You: Hahahaha.... Ricky, Kevin, Britt, Caroline, and some that I'm not going to mention
35.Do You Have A Crush On Someone: I have a boyfriend silly
36.Who Has it easier? guys or gi.rls? Women have so much to worry about.


37.Sit by the phone waiting for a phone call all night: I have
38.Save AOL conversations: Course
39.Save E-mails: yep
40.Wish you were someone else: Course
41.Wish you were a member of the opposite : Yes


42.Cologne: Old Spice or Aspen or Truth
43.Perfume: Hanae Mori or Honey Gentle Water
44.Romantic memory: too many exs read this


45.Fallen for your best friend?: No
46.Made out with JUST a friend?: yes
47.Been rejected: well, accepted on a sexual level but rejected on other levels
48.Been in love?: already asked it
49.Used someone?: Yes
50.Cheated on someone? possibly
51.Been cheated on? Sorta
52.Been kissed?: yes, many a time
53.Done something you regret?: I try really hard not to regret anything... But I do some stupid shit.


54.You touched?: I bumped in to Vaneesha when I was in Strong
55.You talked to?: Nadja
56.You hugged?: Vaneesha
57.You instant messaged?: Kris
58.You kissed?: Britt
59.You yelled at?: Caroline
60.Who broke your heart?: Never had my heart broken
61.Who told you they loved you?: My Jamie


62.Color your hair? Hells no
63.Have tattoos? 2
64.Have piercing below the waist? Nope
65.Have a boyfriend/gi.rlfriend/both? yes
66.Own a web cam? no
67.Own a thong? yes sir I do
68.Sprechen Sie Deutsch? Ja ich spreche. Aber ich habe das nicht gern...
69.Habla espanol? only on tuesdays
70.Quack?: only when I’m drunk


71.Stolen anything over $50? no
72.Smoke? Smoke what? ;)
73.Schizophrenic? no
74.Obsessive? slightly
75.Compulsive? yes
76.Panic? course
77.Anxiety? Duh, I go to Salem
78.Depressed? See above
79.Suicidal? Nope

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Dude... [14 Jan 2004|09:27pm]
[ mood | Lighter ]

Okay, got out of the shower, stepped on the scale... Turns out I actually did drop ten pounds. Rock the fuck on. Ten pounds since my birthday. See what working out does?


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I learned the truth at seventeen... [14 Jan 2004|08:33pm]
[ mood | blah ]

Yes. Well.

Just got back from working out for like an hour and a half. How is it when you work out for a more than an hour you feel like you've just dropped 10 pounds? I like that feeling...

So Caroline just called me and told me that she got high last night. Fucking hypocrite.

Bought Everclear yesterday. I think I might get into it tonight. I just feel the need to get shitfaced. Again...

Mmmmm... Work out pain...

I don't think I really have anything that I want to say... Other than I can't wait to see Britt and I wish Kerry would fall off the face of the earth. Oh, and I love my internship. And I want a costume collection.

Hey, I just got invited to a party.... Rock on.

But I need a shower first.

Onward I go.


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::yawn:: [14 Jan 2004|09:38am]
[ mood | awake ]

Okay... Note to self. Never get a real job. I really like working at Little Theatre, but I hate getting up early and then having to leave the parties at a reasonable hour because I have to work in the morning. I want to be in college forever... ::sigh:: oh well. Anyway. Soooooo yeah. It's early. And I don't have much to say. Britt is coming down to see me this weekend!! I'm so thrilled.... I've missed him SO much... you have no idea.

Mary just called....

I seem to be running late...

Damn the man.


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lookeeeee [13 Jan 2004|12:47am]
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People are people so why should it be that you and I should get along so awfully... [08 Jan 2004|08:55am]
[ mood | drained ]

Had that song inmy head alllll morning. Granted I've only been awake for about an hour... but still. Anyhoo. Internship is going really well so far. Did costuming yesterday and today its on to the scene shop. Should be rather interesting. I've been thinking alot lately and it's starting to hurt... I'm so serious. My brain is fried because of a lack of down time. But it might possibly still be fried from that tequila the other night... Oh well.

I've been really weird lately too. Britt says I seem distant, my friends say I'm spacey, my mother thinks I seem really distracted. Truth is, I don't know what the hell I feel. I know I'm not all with it and I feel that something's wrong. Hell, I know what's wrong, I just don't feel like thinking about it right now. Sometimes there are problems that you just don't want to address. And this is one of them. So I'll just put it on the back burner and wait for it to do something.

I need to practice my duets... Damn the man.

My computer has a virus. ::sigh:: I dont want to take it in to the shop but the only other choice I have is asking Kerry to come over and fix it. ::siiiiiigh::

::yawn:: Off to work.


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Yay! I'll be a big dork toooooo... ;) [07 Jan 2004|12:30am]
-name: Erin Lynne Stuhlman
-birthplace: West Chester Pa
-eye color: Today they are blue
-hair color: blonde
height: 6'0
-righty or lefty: righty
-zodiac sign: Capricorn
-your heritage: German, Swedish, and a hint of egyptian oddly enough
-the shoes you wore today: Berks and my black boots
-your weakness: Alcohol, self confidence
-your fears: Falling in love, psyco murderers, small spaces
-your perfect pizza: Gino's Pizza in Brooklyn. There's nothing better
-goal you'd like to achieve: Being known for my singing

-your most overused phrase on aim: werd
-your thoughts first waking up: What the fuck did I do last night... Who the hell is that?! I'm kidding Britt... Calm down...
-your bedtime: When I fall asleep
-your most missed memory: Seattle

-pepsi or coke: hahahahaha that's funny...
-mcdonald's or burger king: Arby's
-single or group dates: Depends
-adidas or nike: adidas.
-lipton ice tea or nestea: nestea
-chocolate or vanilla: chocolate.
-cappuccino or coffee: cappuccino

-smoke: Only when I'm drinking
-cuss: Like a fucking sailor
-sing: I sort of have to
-take a shower everyday: course
-have a crush: have a boyfriend
-do you think you've been in love: yes
-want to go to college: Already there
-like(d) high school: Hated it
-want to get married: I'm terrified of it, but one day I hope not to be
-get motion sickness: no
-think you're attractive: no
-think you're a health freak: HA! With what I drink??
-get along with your parent(s): Yep.
-like thunderstorms: Ooooo love em
-play an instrument: Piano

in the past month...
-drank alcohol: Hahahaha I'm freshly 21... Got smashed last night
-smoked: No
-done a drug: Saturday...
-had sex: Yes
-made out: Oh yes...
-gone on a date: Wait... the past month being December or the past few days of January?
-gone to the mall?: Yesterday with Ellen and Kris
-eaten an entire box of oreos?: Man, I haven't have oreos in years
-eaten sushi: nooo
-been on stage: Yep
-been dumped: Not yet, I'm usually the dumper
-gone skating: no
-made homemade cookies: From a tube
-gone skinnydipping: Not since this summer
-dyed your hair: no
-stolen anything: no

-played a game that required removal of clothing: course
-if so, was it mixed company: possibly
-been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Oooh yes many a time
-been caught "doing something": Hahahahaha yes...
-been called a tease: course
-gotten beaten up: no
-shoplifted: no
-changed who you were to fit in: Everyone does that in High school

-age you hope to be married: you already asked me that
-numbers and names of children: I stop at two. He wants more, he can have them.
-describe your dream wedding: No I don't think I will
-how do you want to die: Just not alone
-where you want to go to college: Already there
-what do you want to be when you grow up: when I grow up.... HAHhahahahaha
-what country would you most like to visit: Italy

in a guy/girl..
-best eye color? I love dark eyes
-best hair color? Just as long as they have it and it's clean
-short or long hair: Long... but short is nice sometimes
-best weight: I don't want a man I can break
-best articles of clothing: The classic. Khakis with a french blue button down
-best first date location: Anywhere
-best first kiss location: A bench in Old Salem at 5 in the morning

-# of drugs taken illegally: I've smoked out 4 times in my life
-# of people i could trust with my life: 5
-# of CDs: A massive amount of burned ones
-# of piercings: Nine
-# of tattoos: 2
-# of scars on my body: Two on my knee, one on the back of my head, two on my hand
-# of things in my past that I regret: I try really hard not to regret things but sometimes it's really hard.
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::hiccup:: [07 Jan 2004|12:19am]
[ mood | exhausted ]

Been one hell of a long day. Let me tell you. Tequila hangover combined with two hours of sleep and a party that lasted well until dawn all before the first day of my Little Theatre internship. Yeah. Slept in my contacts too so when I got there one fell out and I had to go the day with only one. Fun fun... Let me tell you. Well I'm going to go back to bed. I passed out at around seven and was woken from a dead sleep by Kerry who wanted to go out for drinks. Yeah.... Rather sleep thanks.

Back to bed...


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soon found out, had a heart of glass... [04 Jan 2004|07:34pm]
[ mood | amused ]

OH the fun that can be had.... Wooooow. So. Last night. I spent it with Caroline and Billy and Glen and Brandon and a few other people that I don't remember the names of... But anyway. They took me out for my birthday and we bought a round at East Villiage and then headed over the Pantana Bob's. Dollar drink night. Need I say more... Four Kamakazis, one Madris, one Royal Flush, one blue moon, one tequila shot, one Bud Light, and a Saphire and soda later, not to mention the other thing I did that I know I shouldn't have done because I was drunk already and I know it screws up my voice and blah blah blah... I was nicely toasted. Good GOD I was fucking plastered... And you know the beauty of it? It was all mostly legal. And I woke up this morning and only had a very slight hang over... Wasn't terrible, I was just thirsty beyond belief. ::sigh:: Wow this is fun... And now I'm back at school. My bar is set up in the common room, my new DVD player is set up along with my new nintendo system. Thank you Caroline... Heeheeheeee.... This has just been a great day. But I seriously need a shower... I definitly stink of...um... herbal enlightenment. Ahem. No more needs to be said. And no more shall be said.

Okay. Now I am going to go work out with Kris.


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We are siamese if you please... [01 Jan 2004|02:06pm]
Yaaaaaaaaaayyyyy.... Finally legal! Ha bitches!

More on this later.

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T minus 6 hours 27 minutes... [31 Dec 2003|05:37pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

Yay! So excited... Happy prebirthday to meeeee!!!


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So far so good. [30 Dec 2003|12:53pm]
[ mood | creative ]

Haven't gotten sick yet but keep your fingers crossed for me... I am finally starting work on my duets for next semester... My GOD they are going to kill me. The one with Fonville, not so much. It's from The Marriage of Figaro and isn't horribly difficult. But the one with Kathleen from Cose Von Tutte, MY GOD. I can't believe it... First of all it's like 10 pages long with the recit and I'm stuck on the lyric part that flutters up to ungodly notes. It's gorgeous... but scary nonetheless. But I was practicing this morning and walking around the kitchen when I stopped and noticed that the wind chimes that hang in the bay window were picking up the vibrations from my voice and actually ringing in tune with me. So weird...

Britt comes home today.

Kevin called and wants to have coffee.

Clayton has found my im name again.

1 day 11 hours 7 minutes until I'm 21.

4 days until I'm back in my own habitat.


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T minus three days 5 hours twenty minutes... [28 Dec 2003|06:40pm]
[ mood | excited ]

I'm thrilled. Can't wait... Just a few more days and I'll be back at school bar hopping with my Salem chicas... Ooooooh fun. And before that I'll be with Caroline and her army of loverly gay men dancing and drinking and having a grand old time... ::squeals::

Anyhoo. Both parents have now been struck down by Hannah's strep so it's just a matter of time for me... Dammit! If it isn't a death in the family or Elaine's confessions, it's me throwing away my gifts, getting sick, getting injured, or working. Damn the man. My birthday it cursed... Oh well. This birthday will last for months... I have a whole semester ahead of me to celebrate. :D


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Pearl one... Knit two... Yarn over... Pearl one... [27 Dec 2003|09:01pm]
[ mood | ditzy ]

::sigh:: That's about all I did last night. Knit and crotchet. I made four hats and an eleven foot scarf. Hurrah for me.
Christmas was... eehhh... Okay. The kids were here... So I made the genius decision to go to bed at 2am on Christmas Eve and was woken five hours later by three screaming children jumping on my bed. Yay. A morning full of flying paper and sugar and loud children and more sugar... That evening My parents and I went to Bonnie's parent's house on the Rap. River. Very nice and traditional and there was a severe lack of children...
I guess I've just grown out of this whole Christmas hype. I love Christmas. One of my favorite things is standing on a cold night and listening to the Moravian Brass Bad play across Salem Square. I love being with my family, I love the smile on my father's face, I love the traditional dinner that he takes us to. I just hate the hype. I hate santa, I hate the feeling that I have to get EVERYONE something, I hate ungratefulness and the resentment and the unspoken tension that builds up because families are forced to be together. ::sigh:: But oh well. I'm just rambling now...

My Hannah bear is sick with strep so that means my parents and I aren't far behind. Oh well.

But tonight was great... Since the other kids are at Missy's house it's really quiet around here. Bruce went out specially to get me a cake for a little celebration since they aren't going to be here on my birthday. It was so sweet... He's such a great guy and he's so good for my sister and Hannah.

I need to sleep or something. I can't think straight...


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Best birth control ever... [24 Dec 2003|11:09am]
[ mood | aggravated ]

Three children under ten. Christmas eve. Sugar. Need I say more.

Anyway. Last night was fantastic... After an incredible afternoon with Britt... Very ....yes... anyway. My father took the family ( minus children) to Ruth Chris for the annual Christmas dinner. He does it every year and it's become the greatest tradition. Anyway. So great. Amazing food, a happy family, everything. It was fantastic. And then when we got back to the house Britt come over and He, Bruce, my father, and I played Lord of the Rings Risk. Yeeahhh... Three big dorks... But I must say, for my first time playing Risk, I'm pretty damn good. Because yeah. I won. HA! anyway..... ahem...

Oooooookay... Time to go tame the children.... ::sigh::


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::yawn:: [18 Dec 2003|12:48pm]
::hums to self::

Wow... I forgot how boring being home is. But it's such a nice change from the norm... And it smells so good... Heeheehee...

Know what? I have nothing to write... Mom's home... Hurrah for mom.

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Happiness is satin sheets... [17 Dec 2003|01:38am]
[ mood | content ]

Let me just tell you... But anyway...

Soooooooo yeah. Went to visit Caroline on my way home from school. It was grandly fun... She's thinking about moving in with the greatest gay men ever in the whole world. Oh my goodness. I went over and visited. They are the epitome of flame. And I want one.

I just got back from Britt's. ::dreamy sigh:: There's just something about lying there with him.. Maybe it was the satin sheets, possibly the fun lighting, or it might have been the amazing two hours that preceeded that moment... But there's just something that feels so right. Something that gives me chills, something that makes me smile, something that just makes me so damn happy. I just... Oooooh I'm at such a loss for words when talking about him. He's amazing and I'm in love. There ya go. End of story.

Migrane starting. Better head to bed.

Note to all Salem girls: I love you all and I miss you! I can't wait to see you all in Jan or Feb, I'll toast you all in 15 days. Smooches to all! Have a safe and happy Christmas!


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Oh well... [12 Dec 2003|03:44pm]
[ mood | crushed ]

So I just got back from Caprilli's office because she told Jamie and me that she wanted to talk to each of us. She said that my jury didn't go well and that she coudn't justify giving me an A for the semester. So she's giving me a B. She said that I have worked really hard and that she is so proud that I learned the entire alphabet of international phonetic symbols and used them so well and that my voice has gotten so much bigger and bolder since I've started working with her. But my jury just should have been better.

So let me get this straight. I got the lead in the musical, sang at every single off/on campus event that I could find, learned to read and pronounce Italian German and French, had the hardest most work intenstive rep, learned my words, learned the music, nailed the recit and aria that was 8 pages long and insanely hard, had all my translations, never got kicked out of her studio or off the stage, never missed a lesson or a master class, came to the extra master classes, practiced more than I ever have, and she's telling me that all that doesn't merit an A? All because I got nervous in front of the dean of the music school and the heads of the departments and fucked up my jury? Because I drew a blank on a language that I have never learned? Because instead of stopping and trying to think of the words and looking like a dumbass, I kept going and did what they've always told me to do . I made it up, I made it sound like French. The girls standing at the door had no idea that I didn't know what I was singing. I got scared. That's what happens when I get scared. I forget my words, I make it up. I didn't stop, for God's sake! I didn't make a fool out of myself. I tried my fucking hardest to do everything I possibly could. But no. That doesn't merit an A.


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They're coming to take me away hoho heehee haha to the funny farm... [10 Dec 2003|12:14pm]
[ mood | awake ]
[ music | Kodachrome - Paul Simon ]

Slowly going crazy... But that's to be expected. Once my juries are over tomorrow at 4:50, I'm free... Well, not really, I still have like three more exams after that, but hell. I'll feel free. And that's what matters.

I can't wait to get home... Well, not really... There are a few reasons for me to be happy, but I really don't want to go back to work. I know I need to, I know I REALLY need the money, but I don't want to have to see those people...I'm just sick of the routine. But oh well. It pays well. ::sigh:: Suck it up Erin...

But I get to see Britt, and eventually my sister and Bruce and Hannahbear. And I really can't wait to get to my house... Mmmm... No more dorm... AND being home makes me feel just that much closer to that magical drinking day... OH I can't wait... I'm going to start my alcoholic adventures and continue them through the entire month and/or semester. ;)



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