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[04 Jan 2005|06:17pm] |
*people can never be replaced
*toe socks hold more rain water than anything else
*people are extremely uncreative
*i like the color pink
*yoga and chai are good for your soul
*holding gruges is not worth it
*getting angry is stupid and unnessacary
*drugs are for losers, really.
*there is only a certain number of times you can brush your teeth until your gums bleed.
*regret is the worst thing in life
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[02 Jan 2005|07:48pm] |
sigh.
everything is slowly falling back into place.
im joining the peace crops, and getting the fuck out of here. =D
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[20 Nov 2004|09:48am] |
She's got a pretty smile it covers up the poison that she hides
She walks around in circles in my head waiting for a chance to take me a
Chance to break me a chance to take me down now i see this burden you gave me is too much to
Carry too much to bury inside i guess you're the only one that nobody changes
I guess you're the only one left standing when everything else goes down
You're still the only one, you're still the only one
It's all shallow and all so appealing I'm up to my ankles and i'm drowning
Anyway in a sea of sarcastic faces familiar places where everything looks
Quite the same here it's all confusingly amusing bitter and tainted
The picture you painted to me i guess you're the only one that nobody changes i guess you're
The only one left standing when everything else goes down you're still the only one
Who will never change faces i guess you're the only one left standing
When everything else goes down just 'cause it's all in your head
Doesn't mean it has to be in mine don't believe what you said still can't get it out of my mind
I've tried to find myself in approval i've already been there already done that it got me nowhere
It brought me nothing but a good place to hide in no one to confide in now
I guess you're the only one that nobody changes i guess you're the only one who will never
Change faces i guess you're the only one
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[20 Nov 2004|09:33am] |
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there's more to life, then every little temperary high to satisfiy you.
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[22 Oct 2004|04:47pm] |
I'd burn alive to keep you warm when you're alone
Shiver under blankets in the basement where our secrets sleep
You pour the liquor on the staircase
Pass the flask and close your eyes
Are you grieving for what we've become
Are you running from that room?
We set the evidence on fire
We light cigarettes and chase out old regrets
Are you grieving for tonight?
I smell the sulfur on your skin
Yesterday will be the end of you and I
Yesterday will be the end of shoulders where we rest our head
Now we grieve for tomorrow goes on without us
Now we breathe for no one else
Everything is broken slowly sinking under waiting for tomorrow
waiting for the grave to tell me that she's lonely
Open up and hold me slowly feel my body becoming one and only
Death is just an excuse to forget you
Now we run from ourselves
Hope lies not in the mirror
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[09 Oct 2004|07:06am] |
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im over this cliche romance. full of faked 'i love you's'. we didnt make each happy. the end.
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[22 Sep 2004|05:59pm] |
i took the box off my self for the first time in months.
and it has 'Robert' written across it. and i looked through all
the memories. through letters, concert tickets, pictures,
bass strings, buss tickets, and underwears. i read the poems
and the letters and stared at the pictures, trying to see where
it all went wrong. and i realised this after reading one of
your letters over and over again, you felt guilty for leaving
after it all. and i feel guilty for leaving the way i did, for
completely abandoning you. and im sorry for that. but
you did the same thing if you recall. and i forgave you.
and this is what i've realised, i was the worse person
to you towards the end of our relationship, and then i
left to find myself...sorry i abandoned you.
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[21 Sep 2004|09:35pm] |
i hope it makes you feel better to leave me out.
i hope it makes you feel better to call me a jelous bitch.
i hope it makes you feel better to know that you broke your promises.
you said you'd always be there, and you havent been.
i hope when you think back on this, you remember.
you weren't a friend. you weren't even an accaintinquence.
i hope you feel better....
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[21 Sep 2004|07:39am] |
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im really angry. really really angry. for no reason at all.
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[17 Sep 2004|10:26pm] |
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fuck it. im going to enjoy all of this. what little room we have to breathe. im gonna suck it all in. drunken girls on the living room floor off negliable amounts of vodka; these are the times i wont remember with the people i will never forget..
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[15 Sep 2004|04:26pm] |
im in one of those moods where i feel far to mature for my age. my mom mentioned graduating a year early, if i take summer school i can do it...seems so extremely tempting right now. i feel like getting stoned and doing nothing. ive turned into a stoner, but i really could care less right now.
the whole brodie posibility is almost completely down the drain. atleast the fact that it would never be perment. because the 'distant' is to much i guess. but whatever. life comes and goes and eventually i will be outa here.
i realised this today. humans are stupid. i go to school and wait all day to come home. and when im home, i dont wanna be here. i want to be out.
i feel wasted. like being here is accomplishing nothing and im not having fun doing any of it.
the highlight of my day was dancing...i stole marcus's cd player and i danced and danced until i couldnt breathe. that was lunch. and spilling boiling hot liquid on one of my class mates was fun. =)
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[09 Sep 2004|11:32am] |
smoked way to much last night. couldn't sleep. probably scared off brodie...stupid. ate 3 taco's. woke-up with a really swollen throat. mono?
plans for this weekend; go to something wood lake with Brodie! (and family?) awkward?
if that doesnt happen. saturday night rising conviction show.
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[06 Sep 2004|08:13pm] |
friday; nothing to do. went out. met up with brodie. =)
saturday; met back up with brodie. meet ricky. smoked some pot. hung out with brittney and josh. etc.
sunday; saw my grandma. went to get coffee with rob. talked. went to floyd's. got really drunk. did some stuff i "shouldn't" have done. and stuff i should regret but i don't.
monday; shopping. Ihop. Brodie's.
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[31 Aug 2004|09:12pm] |
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i just wanna get this over with. someone else is in my skin and i want them out.
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[11 Aug 2004|08:48pm] |
Hopefully shanna will read this before she hurts me!
i am oh so proud of you!!!!!!
you finally fucking did it, can you believe it?
you are free from everything that could be a damage to you.
you have your whole life ahead of you.
I love you! sorry i didnt call. ugh lotsa homework. maybe this weekend we will hang out.
i'll be here when ever you need me.
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[06 Aug 2004|10:20am] |
i went shopping and i spent over a hundred dollars that i didnt have...
and i felt better yesterday but i still dont feel good. nothing is making me smile anymore.
not even the boy. it's crazy when you think about it. i guess im turning into that girl from the song...
"look for the girl with the broken smile.. ask her if she wants to stay awhile..."
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[14 Jul 2004|10:48am] |
WANTED;
boys who dont lie
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[06 Jul 2004|09:16pm] |
i must be tripping....
falling in love is way to crazy.
but i know this summer belongs to us, baby.
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[02 Jul 2004|05:28pm] |
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i'm extremely nervous. =)
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