| 11:09a |
I just got this tattoo
I'm only eighteen and already burned out. Perhaps that's not quite fitting. What I mean to say is that nothing is satisfying. I want to move to Nepal and live as a Buddhist monk in some deep cave in the side of a mountain. I would study the ways of Zen and spend my days and nights in a meditative trance and eventually reach liberation from this fucking world. I'm just so tired of everything. I'm tired of doing drugs all the time. I'm tired of being a girl and girlfriend and daughter. I'm tired of having friends. I'm tired of trying so hard to be so goddamned impressive, but maybe that's because people are seldom impressed. I'm tired of not having friends. But I guess there are times when I really like the lifestyle and all the parts I play. Sometimes, believe it or not, I like spending an hour curling my hair only to have some drunken asshole hold it back while I vomit in a random toilet or trash can or parking lot or yard. Maybe I'm manic depressive. Then again, I could just be a fucking hypochondriac. A few months ago I thought I was experiencing the beginning stages of Parkinson's disease. So I guess I'm just bringing this all on myself? |