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Thursday, April 3rd, 2008
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9:43p - Rich old men
Finally i went for first run in like ages. Though it lasted only 12 minutes due to sudden stomachaches, it felt really good. I should really keep up with my runs...
Anyway i hyperventilated in zouk yesterday. The second time that happened within the last month and i am getting a little worried. I've never been really sick in my life and breathing problems were never an issue. Think people around me freaked out last night especially geri heh. Sorry!
So today is a stay-home day. Time to reflect on my ridiculous behaviour- falling for a 35 year old guy. Anyway he texted me this afternoon nagging me to stop drinking and he sounded a little pissed that i defended myself that i wasn't drunk last night. So he brought up the hyperventilating incident and that really shut me up. Seriously i don't even know if i should feel disturbed that he treats me like a younger sister or comforted that he actually bothers about me.
But i am really glad he will be flying off tomorrow...i don't think i can see him again cause whenever i do, i just fall head over heels over and over again. I can't remember how many times i deleted his number so i won't be tempted to call him. But somehow, he always come back, the surprise messages and all that, it's just really hard.
Ok you guys must be thinking i am fucking ridiculous now.
So i have been thinking for the whole day about the question of why i like much older men.
To date, i have dated four men with the age gap of at least 9 years. Seriously it wasn't about the money cause i bet everyone is thinking about that since all of them are rich. I detest girls who are gold diggers and aspire to be tai tais. That's totally not my style.
So why do i end up with rich men or end up liking them. I really think it is the power. I love powerful men.
I love men who are ambitious, opinionated, smart, successful and a little cocky like ronaldo christiano. *visualize ronaldo's cocky face when he scored against liverpool woons* I love to challenge him and vice versa, i don't want a submissive guy and anyone who dates me knows i am nowhere near the ranks of a japanese woman.
But saying that does not mean compromise is not essential in a relationship. I guess there is a fine line between being submissive and challenging to better the relationship through great conversations and exchange of ideas.
All the older men i dated were philosophical in some ways, they are all smart and i love talking to them. As for younger boys in their twenties (i shan't drop names), they are really just not as interesting. When you talk to them, they don't sound confident, they stutter a little, they don't know what they want, all they think about is sex because they are all at their sexual prime. I mean com'on. I am not going to sit and watch you young boys grow up to be real men. But i am also sure there are still a handful of them who are mature enough.
Wow, my longest post in a very long while. Anyway, i think i am going to stick to women for the time being. Can't wait to celebrate rena's heart burn recovery tomorrow :) At least i know have great friends, i mean seriously why do i need men heh.
(comment on this)
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