| 9:39p |
Folly of the Righteous
When people usually make judgements, especially when it comes to morals, their reference is usually themselves.
For example, person A might steal the proverbial candy from a baby. Person B feels what person A is wrong because he wouldn't do such a thing. At least not from a baby. Maybe from the president of the Philippines since he steals anyway but not from a defenseless baby. Or person C might agree with what person A did because he himself steals, whether boy or girl, child or adult.
Of course it's not only limited to this. Some people might generalize that what is easy for them is easy for everyone else. Let us take the subject of Theology. Let us say person A is receptive to Catholic doctrine and has a good memory. He can recite church canon at will and with perfect accuracy. To him, Theology is easy. Then comes along person B who is good at calculating stuff (his favorite subject is Math) but is horrible when it comes to memorization. He finds Theology difficult because it requires one to be quite familiar with church doctrine, which he isn't. When person B confronts person A, person A merely scoffs at him and says that he shouldn't have problems with Theology. And when person B flunks the subject, person A merely thinks that person B is an idiot. It's only Theology, a very easy subject.
In that situation, person A is applying his situation with person B, which shouldn't be the case because their situations are different. But person A's basis is his own experience (excelling in Theology) and so he judges others by the standards he judges himself.
There are several things which can be derived from this:
As a stalker observing someone, to know how someone "judges" others opens an insight to his/her psyche. But the first part is to establish whether he/she is following this model of thought (judging others by the way he judges himself/herself) or not. If it is the former, then his/her judgements can serve as a viable source of information about the person. If not, well, you know that he/she's open minded or has a certain empathy with other people.
As a stalker making judgements, one should be careful not to fall into this pit trap. One of the greatest strenghts of a stalker is to establish a certain empathy (a rapport even if that is possible) with the other person. Making judgements based on your own experiences is not a sign of empathy. Rather, it is imposing one's own situation with the other. It is more "feeling what I would feel" rather than "feeling what he/she feels".
That is not to say one shouldn't try to see how one would feel in the situation of the other. Rather, it should be a source of your difference from the other person. For example, the person being stalked is person A. Person A gets punched by person B. Person A does not retaliate. You, on the other hand, might hit back when struck by person B. Your reaction differs from the reactions of person A. One can learn a lot from observing that difference and finding the cause of it.
Also sometimes in the situation of lacking information, such as not knowing how person A would react if hit by person B, the only option left to figure out how person A would react is based on your own reactions. One should just be familiar with the difference in one's attitude compared with person A to account for any differences.
Everyone has different beliefs, different attitudes, different circumstances, and different environments. While one can try to empathize with them using one's own feelings or norms, sometimes that is not always applicable, and one must account for this. |