| 10:01a |
Empathy
Lately, we've been talking about managing data and information. This is usually associated with the realm of Science and its "objective" perception of things. Or to take it to the next level, like a computer who merely analyzes things bereft of emotion or personal investment. That is, not to feel.
Perhaps in an ideal setting, where all the necessary facts are in front of us, this is how a stalker should behave. But reality is far from ideal, and we deal with incomplete information and sometimes inscrutable data. Sure, we might arbritrarily guess to fill in those gaps, but that is hardly efficient, much less accurate. The only solution is to fill those gaps with our own answers, and the only way to do this with some measure of precision is to understand and feel what the other person is feeling. That is, to be emphatic.
We all know that people react differently to different things. Person A might scream when he/she sees a spider. Person B might stomp it. Person C might flee the scene. And Person D might just stand there, ignoring it. If we treat these four people as merely machines coated with skin, we will never be able to predict how they will react. But a good stalker at the very least will know how the other person feels, at least to a certain degree. A stalker might know that Person A is insecure and frightened by a lot of things, hence scream at the sight of the spider. Spider B might also be insecure but does not want to look weak in front of other people hence step on the spider. Person C usually reacts via the flight reaction in the "fight or flight" respone to danger, hence run away. And Person D might be the type that's aloof and sees things such as spiders as trivial, hence ignoring it. The key to all this is that the stalker understands (and knows) how the other person feels, thus able to predict their actions (to a certain extent).
It is very wrong to come to the conclusion that a good stalker should not feel and merely rely on facts, evidence, and logic (especially not logic since people seldom behave rationally). However, that is not to say a stalker should be unwary of his or her own emotions. The problem with that is that emotions might sometimes cloud your judgement. In assessing another person, there is always the possibility that you are imposing your own feelings rather than actually understanding the other person's emotions. Errors can pop up from the stalker like "it's what I would do" or "he/she should have done this, not that". In the former case, the stalker is associating himself with the one being stalked. Remember that you are not the other person, and that they behave and perceive things differently the way you do. In the latter case, you're letting your own expectations of the other person cloud your judgement. Maybe it's because you desire the other person to behave like this, or think that you know all the answers, but in either case, you end up with a very wrong conclusion.
Empathy is a key element in stalking (or just plain encountering other people). Predicting other people's behavior is augmented not only by facts but by feelings as well. |