Below are the 7 most recent journal entries.

	2006.04.24  12.43 so its only been about a year since my last journal.. but not too worry... nothing was missed.. i'll try and fill you in. August. moved to ft. wayne September. went to class, missed tsu October. turned 20 kelly came to visit November. went to NY.. it was amazing. started working at AE December. end of semester (first time in my life i did SUPER good in school) worked at AE, went home for christmas. January. new years at the barn. start of a new semester. quit eating choc, candy, chips, cookies and cake. caiden turns 1! February. class. work. grand rapids, saw kelly! March. spring break in PCB. good times.. beth and jarrod engaged! classes and work resume. April. moms 50th. grand rapids. casino night. almost done w/ school. want to get out of indiana. miss my friends. miss my family.

	2005.06.30  19.04 well sorry i was unable to report yesterday but boss man had to take the comp home so was left w/ some work to do and my book to finish :) but good news for you, nothing was missed. i took brenda to kokomo to do some shopping for cory and kellys wedding.. then ate at panera.. then off to work i went, sold one item... that was my yesterday. as for today which is less exciting i woke up at 11, watched real world ( by the way i'm in love w/ danny and i don't like melinda) and came to work.. sales good today, i suppose, sold $1000 worth to some guy who has money to burn, literally. but other than that theres been noone. a storm did come through that was pretty ferocious so i doubt that will help anything out here. today i was reminded of what a great friend kelly is... she knew how upset i was because i missed real world twice so she called me to inform me it was on tv cause she didn't want me to miss it again, i mean thats waht friends are for. today i was also reminded of how unhelpful i am.. no its true, im not a good daughter. i get so frustrated when i have to keep doing things for my mom, just the little things like taking her things upstairs or cleaning up her dishes but its the things i should be doing out of the kindness of my heart.. but i just don't want to do them at all. i need to work on that. i have to work on the 4th.. kinda sucks. i won't be able to eat all day and sit by the pool, then again i'll have sara and b here w/ me so we'll be not eating and not sitting by the pool together. goodness.. i'm sorry for being so bitter. but thats about all i got. i might be back later i don't know.. bez Mood: blah Music: traveling pants

	2005.06.28  21.11 Hilltop Laptop been a few days, eh? ya come to find out i'm not so good about blurting religiously. when you have 7 hrs to do absolutly nothing it gives you the opprotunity to write a few lines about the day. im at the hilltop, ya my second home for the summer. this week i am out in the garage where the fireworks are located. being the week before the fourth one would think people would want to buy fireworks.. think again. in two days i have made one sale. go figure. anyways it gives me the opprotunity to do some reading, search the web and freshen up on my napoleon. thank god for the wonderful technology we have today. after work i have to stop by walmart for brenda. she cant drive for another 5 weeks so i'm pretty much running everywhere in the world for her, but i guess its my duty since she took care of me after 3 surgerys,, and as we all know pay backs are a bitch. ok... me and brenda were watching driven on vh1 today. it was about lindsay lohan and how accomplished she is and everything, well it just make me think..... this girl is younger than me an has accomplised more than i ever will... just kinda put a damper on my day realizing how here i am 19 almost 20 working at a gas station and there she is making millions of dollars.. anyways thats enough on that matter well i miss kelly and beth. and i miss the summers when i could run w/ pete everyday. and i miss some of the thunder crew. really miss the sig ep sand ballin. i'm gonna clean up for the night and i'll be back her tomorrow same time same place, getting paid to do this so ill write some more cause theres just so much that will happen between now and tomorrow... bez all Mood: hungry Music: cars driving by on SR 9

	2005.05.31  22.26 great day to be alive good day today... i mean, why shouldnt it be.. no work, beautiful day, got to see my baby, doesn't get much better... got up and ran.. sat in the sun, then went to the oak hill sectional baseball game.. it was good times. they did a pretty good job. they won. and i saw mikey and rachel so that was good too. right now i'm at layne and davids babysitting caiden. i guess they wanted to go out on a date. which is good cause david works all the time and layne hardly gets to see him. and i'm always willing to see my boy. i guess this is a journal so i should tell it how i feel.. right? i'm confused, not like thats anything new but. i really dont know what my problem is.. well i kidna do but i just wish id get over it.. i'lll be back when i get home Mood: curious

	2005.05.30  22.50 happy memorial day long time no enrty.. the sad thing, theres not much missed in my life from then til now.. anyhow it was a good weekend all in all.... other than the fact i worked fri, sat, monday(today) good things still happened... friday. worked til 11 came home went to bed... sat. worked.. went to f.wayne.. peaceful evening :) came back sun noonish sunday.. goood good day.. bethay jane's graduation open house.. got there around 4:30, and of course the moment we get there caiden is stolen... go figure, but anyways then we go for the food. and you konw its a good day went you get grandmothers cake. then mingled w/ the fam and some old friend that were there.. and i must say some were looking pretty gooood :) haha and of course later we all let them know it. by that i mean, ya around 8 the wonderful uncle tom gets the celebration started. uncle chris got out his guitar get up and sang us some good cournty music..and a few margartias and other stuff later the family gets a little louder and things aren't so mellow... things carried on til about three then it was time to go cause some of us had to work the next day.. but it was great night because i love my family. they are some of the best people to party w/. altough we do have some of those awful random moments given to us by brock, everything was all golden. today. good too, most boring day at work but.. i had some ivanhoes ice cream w/ pete (trojan three highly recommend it) and that makes anyday grand. sorry thats all i have to tell.. ooooooo AND kelly is coming FRIDAY if not before.. and i guess you can say im VERY excited about that. take it easy Mood: content Music: fast cars and freedom

	2005.05.19  22.29 another day well today i got to sleep til 10, always a great start to a day. drank a cup of tea, watched the view, did nothing pretty much. it was a good day off other than the fact it was shitty weather. got the mail.. found out i'm going to ipfw next year and hopefully(fingers crossed) living w/ elizabeth.. that will be a WONDERFUL year i'm sure... craziest thing i'm writing her name down for housemate, and she calls.. whoa.. but i'm very excited now cause i'm going to see her sat! i haven't seen her in what seems like forever.. really wish kelly would be there too but we'll see her soon! made some cookies today to send to kelly and beth.. and good cook caroline leaves them in too long.. but not really cause i put them in as long as it said to, but o well theyre burnt and .... guess i have to send them something else. watched the o.c. season finale.. love that show.. pacers lost, go figure, reggies last game... had a few calls today... peter, layne, dad a few times, aaron, beth, matt, and i'm sure ill talk to kellly after i finish this.. so ya, unusual day for my phone... but not in a bad way tomorrow i work from 2-10 then maybe gettin together w/ the 04s to reunite or whatever... but then again i may just go to sleep cause i have to work sat at 7... AHHHHHHHHH anyways, thats all for now..

	2005.05.18  22.44 day one bare with me on this, i'm new. these past couple weeks have kinda sucked. i leave school, and two days later start work, yea... um no, i hate working at a gas station. in no way do i think im too good to work in a c store, but the people that ask for my number are pretty much the most disguting things ive ever seen, humm thats sayin a lot about me, anyways.. i'm venting sorry. i think i'm so bitter because swayzee might be the most dull town ever. that and the fact that kelly and beth aren't here everyday for my entertainment. well i went to work at 7 today. me, def not a morning person going to a job where i have to wait on people for 8 hrs is not my idea of fun, yet i need money to survive so i do what i gotta do. i sold over 500 packs of cigs today a record i think for me... also i had a mullett count from 7-12 and in that period 16 came in and 4 of them were ladies. neat. now i have a new one to look for, aaron (boss) asked if any camero tops came in (women w/ the 80's featherd look) so now i'll be keeping count of the kids stuck in the past. ya, its fun. good part about this job-free fountain pop :) SUPER! ya so i drink dt. mt dew allll day long. went to b's last home game.. they one, congrats love! caiden went for his 4 mo check up today.. had to get shots :( poor guy. i can't believe hes 4 mos already! seems like he just got here. he might be one of the greatest things ever dads still in ohio.. workin on the railroad... miss my shell, its really weird being the only one here, going from the craziest summer ever last year w/ 2 grads, weddings and whatnot going on around this house to pretty much me living here by myself... kinda sucks.... i really think kelly should move in happy thoughts... hummm.... i got new shoes today. theyre pretty neat. thats about it i think thats all the complaining i have for today. have a good one..