| Reverse Order Thoughts, Feelings, Actions |
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| 11:28pm 20/05/2009 |
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I don't want to plan a birthday party, I'm not very good at those kinds of things.
I signed out of one of my im sns because I didn't want this girl to message me anymore. She is depressed and annoying. She was fine til I said I might go to South Korea one day then she freaked on me and made me feel bad, telling me that I lied to her, that I was a hypocrite and that I shouldn't try to date women. She is such a loon. Anyway, I can't handle that tonight. I've been in the mood for determining my emotions and dealing with them as I see fit. And I determined that she turns on me so easily, even if she does say I mean so much to her, I've known her about a week, I just don't think she's worth it.
I was so upset that obese people disgust me. The last few days I was with Rob and Jessica who want to date me, and I was so disgusted by them. I don't mean to be, but they spend so much time sitting around, complaining, eating, making weird noises, this morning they were having sex and it sounded like a puppy was being tortured. And she smells so weird and they both snore so loud, i am so happy to be home where i can get some sleep.
I was upset that Matt never wrote me while I was gone. He's usually beating down my door to see me when I'm back in town. I even wrote him with plans on asking to go with him this weekend, which I'd never normally do.
I felt bad, because I'm sure I hurt Nancy's feelings when we talked about possibly dating and hanging out more and then I said I'd be gone the next few days. I think she wanted to see me.
Today's Sum up: disgust, annoyance, attraction to Jayne, thoughts on backpacking across the United States
Yesterday
at their house, felt terribly disgusted, annoyed, they are sweet enough people, but i feel out of place
nam and jack are cute enough though
day before
same thing
and i went the 3 days without the internet because i decided it'd be good for me
sunday was the landmine of emotions
not sure if im going to jennys grad dinner, i waited for someone to pick me up, no one did, she musta wanted me to get there on my own (biking i guess) was too late didn go, didnt really want to anyway, id hafta dress up and it was expensive and weird
and i always wonder, what has she ever done for me?
she borrows money, never pays back, she asks me often for help, never gives help
doesnt even visit when im sick actually asks me to do things for her then too
more drama with lindsey bein suicidal and needy
nancy's unhappy reaction to my plans
when i left matt i acted like id never see him again so he pulled me down and talked me outta that
made me feel he cares
whirlwind of emotions |
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