| Freeing up from social ills among other things |
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| 04:14am 26/04/2009 |
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I find myself needing to be online so people can contact me if they need me
wasn't that why i got rid of my cell phone? to get rid of the anxiety of people possibly calling me
sometimes i dont know what is worse, being contacted or not
i dread the phone call, but at times want it, long to hear the ring so i can ignore it
same as im, i want to see the flashing light, see if someone wrote me something interesting enough for my attention or if it's just bs
People have to try so hard for me to like them
it's like i run em thru tests and disqualify them so easy
people i go out of my way to contact at this point equals one and that was when i was drunk
the story
I lost my wallet and decided to absolve myself of the binding which is a bank account
my friends were wasted and it was hilarious
i decided i needed to be as wasted as they so i took about 5 or so shots of jameson, tatto, smirnoff, and jose cuervo
we wastily walked downtown to a mutual friend's birthday party
we held hands and laughed and talked about crazy shit
at the party the guy i crush on was there
the guy with asperger's or autism
i accidentally knocked a piece of his cake on the floor
he was all over me somehow
he is so shy but he talks to me
sometimes i think i may be the only one who hears him
but not last night
last night my friends all heard him say
you should come home with me
something about me being drunk and maybe he was going to protect me
make sure i got home safe
or maybe he wanted to rape me in my drunken state
i dont even know if hes gotten laid before
he is so shy |
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| dreams and others |
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| 01:39pm 26/04/2009 |
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i had a dream about adam
i was walking with ron and we ran into adam
he was drunk and told me he was horny and put his arms around me
i was pretty turned on which made ron leave
he talked about how he liked me for some reason, how cute i was
i almost told him i had a crush on him even in high school
i stopped myself
i was playing online at the teletech library, pretending like i still worked there
the librarian thought i did
and she was either ashley or felicia, im not sure which
i picked up a book that looked eductaional and it seemed to be based on the simpsons
i also recieved a device which would allow me to alter reality
somehow i was on a moving rock and had to save adam, who was remarkably skinny
i popped him on my back and carried him as easily as a child
i kept altering reality when we were about to slide off the rocks and die
when i saw some girls falling too, i grabbed their arms to save them as well
the dude standing at the edge, where safety was charged money which was ok because i finally caught the hang of the reality device and made it so we had however much he needed for us and the girls
we walked around and talked about sex and how much of it we've had
i told him id only been with a girl once and she was ok, but tasted bad and her bf was annoying
we were in a mall and somehow i lost him |
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