???? Easy Much ????    07:36pm 20/08/2008   I have a crush on a guy who works with me. But I don't know his name. He usually wears a blue dress shirt and he has dark hair, glasses, a beautiful smile, he is very friendly and he might have some middle eastern heritage. I just can't stop thinking about him. I smile when he's around, when he says hello. I get so giggly. My new "high school crush", I guess. A man on the phone yelled about the bank and how much it didn't make sense for him to be charged so and so fees. It was logical to me. By all means, I was on his side. I wanted to make out with his right there, over the phone. Why would a person yelling turn me on? I thought I was afraid of that?        Post   Our relationship    01:16am 05/08/2008   "This is the most fulfilling, honest relationship I've ever had," he said. I didn't say anything. Honest? not me I think of my three biggest relationships. Carl was about 2 years Chris was about 4 years Matt is going on a year and a half maybe Fulfilling? What do I seek in a relationship? And what is fulfilled?        Post   yup    01:03am 24/07/2008   i love you matt and i might go with you if you want me to        Post   Waltzing Through Whatever Mart    03:58pm 19/07/2008   "Thank you for choosing Whatever Mart, did you find everything you were looking for today?" Lacey rung up some Slutteriffic makeup for a thin woman with a long nose. "No, your selection is terrible," she sneered. "What was it you couldn't find?" Lacey asked, although she already knew. "Well, this stuff is fine for now, but if it doesn't work right, I'm taking it back." Lacey pointed at the sign. "NO RETURNS!" It was put there as a threat, but no one ever returned anything here. They had the most competitive prices, plus they always had whatever the customer wanted. "Are you wearing a Communist pin on your lapel?" The woman totally ignored the sign and it's implications. Lacey wasn't positive which of her many pins she'd wore today that indicated her interest in Communism, but she did know she never wore a lapel. So, she looked down and saw her beloved heart shaped pin featuring a color photo of Marx. It was near the fold of her Whatever Mart jacket, so maybe that was how the retard got confused. "That'll be five dollars and sixty nine cents," Lacey said. The lady handed her exact change in a wad of nickels and dimes. Luckily for Lacey and the people next in line, she was an especially skilled counter. She could count things by looking at them, when they had "Guess the amount of Jelly Beans," in some jar, it was too hard for her to guess, since as soon as she saw the jar, she knew the answer. "Thank you," Lacey said on receiving that change wad. The woman grunted in reply. "We value your business, but I sincerely hope you don't visit us again," Lacey said in her sweetest voice. "Oh, you will," the woman walked out. Lacey knew she would be back. Most customers were. People always search to fulfill their needs with materials. She sighed watching the lady walk outside with the hopes that makeup would bring her love and youth again. At this point, Lacey could decide to use her Good Samaritan Magic and give her more than her material wants. But she didn't feel the woman deserved it. She had a bad life and took it out on others. Lacey hadn't used any of hers up yet. She wanted to wait for someone special, someone who she could be proud to use her first magical act of charity on.        Post   Brenda    11:12pm 15/07/2008   She has shoulder length blond hair, scrawny tanned legs and always wears these platform sandals that appear bulky. She gives the impression of being a little girl, a teenager and an older lady. Everyone she meets feels immediately at ease and adores her. Where is she? Is she alright? For her sake, her family's sake, her friends' sakes and even John's sake. I hope so.        Post   part of love is    03:11am 04/07/2008   respecting their privacy get over it        Post   Being John Malkovich    02:57pm 01/07/2008   Great movie! One of the best I've seen in a while, must thank Inkira for recommending it. I want to share my body with a bunch of souls, then I'd never be lonely. I am very lonely.        Post   Boyfriend Interview Hotline    02:57pm 01/07/2008   "She's not looking for that kind of thing," Mom said. She discouraged Joe. I sipped my hot fudge milk shake and looked up at him. I locked eye contact. My eyes told him, "Yes, I do want that." Jenny, Ninja Bunny Bless her, had it rough. But she volunteered, she wanted this for some reason and I was glad, no one else knew me well enough. In fact, no one else knew me. Not really. She answered the phone. "Hey, what's your name?" she asked. "Joe." "Why are you calling?" "Umm..well...I'm supposed to have an interview..." Jenny laughed. "Why should we choose you?" "I'm funny, I have a lot of knowledge of geeky things that we can talk about for hours. I'm a nice, honest guy." "Why do you want her?" "I was mainly attracted because she is as messy as me, and she laughs at my jokes and she cares about politics. I don't, but it's hot that she does. Besides we can have sex and talk about Mario lying naked on my bed." Joe moved fast on the DDR pad. His speed was amazing, but all I really looked at was his sweaty body, the movement of his hips and how much fun it would be under him in the sexual tango. The phone rang. Steve picked it up. I hoped it was something that would make him leave the room so I could jump Joe on the dance pad. "Turn down the music," Steve said. "It's Andy's mom." Andy's mom? I perked up my ears to listen. Why was she calling? Did she know why Andy was late? "What's wrong?" I asked. "He's in a comma," Steve whispered. "That sucks," Joe said. He unpaused the game and played on silent. "It's all that damn Cathy's fault," I heard his mom's voice on the phone. She hung up. "Why are they blaming me?" I asked, worried about Andy. "You were his girlfriend." "It's been over a year," I said, "Since we broke up." "Since you dumped him, you mean." I shrugged. How was it my fault now? I had to visit him. "Hey," I came into his hospital room. "I didn't think you'd come," his dad said. He smiled at me. "Of course she did, she wants to stir up more trouble." I rolled my eyes. "He was asking about you," his twiggy friend said. "I thought he was in a comma." "Yeah, but before he went in, he said your name." "Big deal," his mom said. "He talks about that tramp all the time." "He thinks things about me that aren't true," I knew why he liked me. My pedestal. I looked at him lying in bed, his eyes closed. He looked so sweet. He always looked so sweet. I touched his hair, it was matted and lonely. I leaned towards him. "Get better. We miss you. I miss you." He opened his blue eyes and looked at me. "Cathy." "He's awake, now you can leave," his mom said. He moved to hug me. "Don't move," I said. I wrapped my arms around him. "How do you feel?" "Headachey." I rubbed his head.        Post   sick fantasies of you    08:59pm 30/06/2008   My fantasy land where there are candy trees and video game bushes. The streets are made of trampoline and the sky is soft and cool. The colors are amazing, the likes you have never seen. I will take you there and you will fall in love with me only so I can break your heart, because I must secretly hate men and love.        Post   i dont usually    08:42pm 30/06/2008   fall for people really fast, but this guy I talked to online is pretty neat. he has suggested I watch Being John Malkovich, so I will try to see that today        Post   cut off once again    08:36pm 30/06/2008   my job i start next week will make it impossible for me to volunteer at the summer camp for children. but i need the money Myth Busters!! If there's someone lame Handing pamphlets out Who ya gonna call? Myth Busters!! If there's someone old In a pope mobile Who ya gonna call? Myth Busters!! A stupid WASP Spouting about sky fairies Who ya gonna call? Myth Busters!! ain't afraid of no Myths ain't afraid of no Myths If you've had a dose of a freakish dork baby Ya better call Myth Busters!!        Post   I love you    01:36pm 29/06/2008   You told me over and over again "I like you, Cathy, I like you a lot, I really like you." I said nothing. You said "I'm going to miss you." I said nothing. All day yesterday and the day before and this morning the words ran in my head. "I love you," but I will not say them. I don't know if I mean them or if they are just words I want so badly to say. I refuse to say them without meaning.        Post   Jamie    12:34am 25/06/2008   Universals She has light brown blond hair, sometimes red. She has a beautiful smile and expressive eyes. Sales Associate at Evil Queen Cathy's Book Emporium Wardrobe: Each day she is another fantasy character or historical person Duties: Help customers find books they want, make fantasies reality, entertain Boyfriend: Kenny, a smart, funny guy that Jamie is working on a book with, they also are a great team for theatrical events This is a library/learning center. There are public classes on creative writing, English as a second language and adult and children tutoring programs in reading and computer skills. Plus there are always events and festivals the crazy librarian comes up with. Kenny and Jamie spend a lot of time working together to make these events work out and are surprised at how brilliantly they work together. Customer Specialist at Whatever Mart Wardrobe: Purple vest with bored smiley Duties: Help customers find what they are seeking Boyfriend: Steven, a bit dumb, lacks common sense, but is full of life, they go on crazy adventures, such leaving early in one of the Whatever Mart trucks full of fireworks and booze and light them all off in a field where they get wasted, they're also working on a video game Jamie and Steven work in the electronics section together. But are often drawn to other sections to help people. They spend a lot of work time working on their video game, Warrior Wabbits, and getting stoned and screwing like wabbits in various utility closets and storage rooms. Events Coordinator for Offensive Equality Wardrobe: Changes often, dark clothes, casual clothes, cartoon suits Duties: Whatever it takes to spread the message, Equality now, and no is not an option Boyfriend: Mario, lives and breathes the fight, he loves nature and people, so long as they are saving/helping something/ones he is in, not much on just hanging out. However, he has made it clear on various occasions that they are physically compatible, as well as he is in love with her.        Post   Jamie's Triple Life    12:18am 25/06/2008   Jamie woke up and smiled, trying to keep bits of her dream in her mind even through the menial changing of clothes and brushing of hair and teeth. She'd been flying through a sky of colors. Love made her go higher, emotions. She grabbed a banana and jumped on her bike to ride downtown to catch the bus to Evil Queen Cathy's Book Emporium. The wind hit her face as she road downhill and she let out a sigh of contentment. She made it to the bus depot and locked her bike seconds before her bus left. She jumped on and got to the back and plopped next to Kenny, her coworker and friend. He whistled at her and she looked down to realize she was wearing a dress. How'd she not notice that when riding her bike? Oh well. She smiled at Kenny. "Any good dreams?" "I don't know, I never remember them," he said. "That's a shame," she said. "I don't know what I'd do without them." She smiled, drifitng off into Jamie Land. "Hey, stay here with me," he said. "Don't go off in your land just yet." "What's up?" she asked. 3 o clock rolled around and Jamie walked across the street to Whatever Mart. She went into the store and to the back where her vest was snugly resting in her locker. She put it on and clocked in just before the minute changed to 3:01. "Just made in," Steven laughed. "That's just like you." "Want to go out for drinks after work?" Steven asked. "Sorry, but I'm working on something tonight," Jamie said. He didn't have to know that it involved explosives and spray paint.        Post   I watched the video. It was sweet, charming, a piece of art.    03:10pm 24/06/2008   I put it away and left my desk to find Adam. He was by himself in his clean white tshirt with his hands in his blue jean pockets. "I love it," I told him. He smiled. I looked around to see if Molly was around. The only other person in the hallway was Sammy and she was reworking something on the wall. She was in her paint splattered yellow overalls, so she planned to be there a while. I kinda hoped she'd be done tonight or at least soon. That smell permeated my nostrils and always made my food taste like it even once I left the building. I never knew much about paints, but I knew her kind stank. "Did you ask her yet?" I asked Adam. He shrugged. I realized she didn't know at all. "Do you want us to run this tonight?" I asked. He nodded. "Try to talk to her. You need her permission." He knew we couldn't run those video clips without her permission, whether written or verbal. If he'd lied and said she agreed, I would have accepted it. I'd know if he lied, and he'd most likely know I knew, but if he had, I would take it. That's my job, if I don't believe him I am allowed to make him prove it or even ask her, but Adam was like a son to me. (I can always change that horrible line of telling instead of showing later) "I'll talk to her when she gets out of practice," he scratched his light brown hair and looked at me. His brown green eyes were so lovesick and determined. "Good luck," I went back into production room. Darlene handed me some checks. I went through and signed each one. "I got a present for you," she handed me a check. I looked at it. Shocked. It was the first work check I ever got. I stuck it on the billboard with everyone else's embarrassing and/or proud moments that I usually force upon them. "What's that?" Miam asked me. Her hair was in big puffy pigtails today, so at first I had no idea who she was. "That is my first work check ever," I told her. "I don't know how that angel found it, but she did. I was 14 years old. I worked for a summer building walking and biking trails in this nice wooded park near where I used to live. "Coolness," Angela said. She put her arms around me. "I bet you got big tough muscles from that job." Miam sat down, she was done being social for a while. "So, Angela," I looked at a piece of paper I'd just been handed. It had everyone's names on it and only a few had topics next to them. "Whatcha writing on today?" "I'm listening to different types of Brazilian carnival music, maybe I'll write how they make me feel." "Good, you can review them, maybe say which ones are better for different moods and colors." "Yeah," she took my hand. "There's one you have to listen to, it will change your life. And I want to paint your nails while we listen. It's a lime song." "Ok, you can harass my nails after I find out what everyone's topics are," I said. She shrugged and hopped away. "So, Miam?" I said. "What's your topic going to be?" "It's me ahm," she said. It sounded like I said it, but she always corrected me. "Sorry," I said. "It's fine," she looked embarrassed for correcting me. "Whatcha working on for today?" I asked. "I don't know," she said. "Want to interview an aspiring young artist fellow student?" "ok," she smiled, her love for art overtook her shyness for a moment. "Good, get out in the hallway and track down Sammy, she's a redhead in paint splattered overalls, should be painting the wall still." Miam nodded and went out in the hall. I walked over to Anaka's desk. She was photoshopping a picture of her face into a picture of Venus on a conch shell. "Write any imaginary people's diaries lately?" "Yes," her face got full of life like usual. "Want to start one for the paper?" I asked. "We can do a serial." "Really?" Her dark almond eyes looked like those of a cartoon puppy. "Yup," I nodded. "Whatcha doing?" Kyle leaned over me. I looked at the list. He was supposed to write about some yummy recipes. "Did you finish your recipe reviews?" I asked. "Yup," he said. "And I classified them from bland to delisheriffic." "Good for you," I handed him the list. "Find out what the rest of your classmates are working on." "Sure," he took the list proudly and saluted me. He bounced towards Shawn, who was gluing CD cases together, possibly making a box. I left the production room and passed Sammy and Miam in the hallway talking. "Why don't you girls go outside for a bit to talk," I bustled them towards the double doors. "Ok," Sammy laughed and wiped her hands off on the front of her paint splattered grey tshirt. She whispered to Miam who looked at me and smiled. I walked down the hall to the puppetry studio. "Ah," Jo Ann hugged me. "Show these kids how to put on a good improv show." I felt in my pockets, I had a pen, a pencil, a rolled up tissue and a bottle of Tylenol. I pulled out the pen and made it start singing jibberish. The pencil came out and cooed. They started dancing and swirling. Then the pencil started yelling at the pen and ran away. The pen all alone started crying on the tissue. It pulled out the bottle of tylenol and downed it, crying. It fell over. The pencil came over and cried on the pen. The pen woke up and they danced again. "Wow, emo pens," Jo Ann laughed. "I'll always love this woman." "Doing an improv for carnival?" I asked. "Yeah, figure the first year students need to learn how it's done." "Good," I said.I turned to the kids. "Remember, to make a puppet, all you need is a stick." I mocked Jo Ann's affinity for shoving a stick in the back of anything to make it a puppet. "Just kidding," I said. "You don't need a stick." I sat down. "Now, show me what you got." Soon I saw shoes being kicked by balls, wallets eating and drinking and singing pop songs, and books pouncing on innocent little cell phones. "Great job, you guys, maybe you should be teaching this class." I ruffled Jo Ann's blond head and went to the water room. A group of students were playing waterbasketball, two girls were practicing with water puppets in the plastic kiddy pool and Molly was in the whirlpool with a group of girls doing waterballet. I watched the slick movements of the dancers as they moved as pieces of a whole. I focused on Molly, seeing her in a new way, seeing her solo as Adam showed her in his art. Her eyes were alive with emotion, her thin nimble body was full of strength and dexterity, everything from her wet hair to her curved, useful feet made her marvelous. I looked to each one, all similar in movements, yet different in hair, face, shapes, each could be the focal point of someone else's art. Here, art was inspiring art. My favorite kind. Molly caught me staring and waved. I waved back and walked on, leaving the pool room. Somehow I knew Adam hadn't told her yet. I went to the simulation angry poets society. It was an old coffee room made to look like a coffee house. There was never a lack of music students playing something depressing on their bongos or guitars while a lonely poet screamed words of pain, anguish, fear and betrayal to others of his or her tortured mentalities. one understood the true torment of the others, but they all needed this sanctuary to gather. "You scooped out my eyes and left them forced to watch as you reached down my throat and ripped out my heart, still beating, ready for you to kick, to jump on, to gnaw on the juice, my passion, you squeezed it out into a smoothie which you downed gleefully. Then my eyes watched as my body stood, lacking its heart, it could do nothing. An empty carcass moved through life. No eyes, no heart. Only pain. Thank you, Mom." "Thinking of a card to write for mother's day?" I asked Gabe, the boy who'd just read that. "Mother's Day?" he said. "I don't believe in celebrating conformist holidays." "Oh, but I bet she'd love it," I said. "I'm sure she wants to be part of your creative surges." "She doesn't understand," he said.        Post   Alter Egos    04:07am 24/06/2008   Courtney Charm- a woman with dark brown/black hair, a hot body, amazing musical talent and the boldness to say and do the things I could never do, mainly she fulfills my anger and thirst for revenge I am passive. I hold in most of my anger. I lie, I people please. Courtney says it how it is. She bursts at what ever needs bursted at. She is overdramatic and seen as mean, but she is very happy and fulfilled. What makes me angry? Judgment Abuse What can I do to change these things? I need a safe in between Court's way and mine Skippy Peanutbutter- Blond hair, blue eyes and adorable, she's cute, charming, funny, everyone loves her. She pleases everyone without even trying Obviously, she is who I want to be. Nothing bothers her.If she is around hate she fixes it. She makes the hate go away with love. How can I teach acceptance to people? Maybe just speaking my mind? But is there a happy place to go to to protect me from the pain I feel from abuse and judgment? Carina Celata or sometimes known as Cherry Kallisti- red hair and green eyes sometimes her hair and eyes are my color, but she acts out on her/my sexual impulses Again, here I am afraid of judgment. I have slept with 11 men and I am only 23. 7 of them were last year. I slept with two people in the same day, 4 in one week. I didn't even want to sleep with half of them. I want to say no, not because I'm not a nympho, but I wasn't into some of them. I am picky of who I really want to share my body with, but not as picky on who I actually share it with. All they have to do is ask and I give in, because I don't know why. I want to please people. WHY??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? I hate me. I really don't, but I hate what I do to me. I'm not going to lie and say sex is emotional. It isn't. But I will say that I want it to be fun and when it's not fun, I shouldn't do it. But I can't tell someone they disgust me. I don't want to be shallow. I don't want someone to not like me. I want everyone to like me. Dis FUCKIN gusting!        Post   "Let's eat here," Alex took her hand.    02:55am 22/06/2008   Stacee rolled her eyes, but followed. It looked kind of fancy for her tastes. But if she was going to allow him to take her on a date, she might as well allow him the fantasy of making it all boring and romanticy as well. The guy dressed like Hitler in roller skates surprised her. "Gutan Tag!" He raised his arm in a salute. Alex took Stacee's arm and pushed Hitler over on his way to a comfy looking couch by a shelf of books. A little kid was jumping in a pile of stuffed animals. An orange monkey was trampled on the ground. That's when Stacee noticed her purse was missing. She saw Alex had something behind his back. She grabbed his arm and twisted it, he handed her her purse. She opened it up and found a bouquet of candy monkeys. Each one a different color and possibly flavor. "Boun giorno, Donna Bellissima," said a waiter wearing no shirt and looking like Mussolini from an old video about Fascism. "Would you like to start off with some wine or maybe some pasta appetizers?" "And can I get the Muchacha Bonita some chips and salsa?" asked a man who resembled Porforio Diaz, a Mexican dictator. "What is it, Foreign Dictator Day?" Stacee asked. "Si, Senorita," the Diaz look alike said. "I think I'll have some nachos, a chicken fajita and" she turned to Mussolini, "some pasta carbonara." "I'll have what the lady's having," Alex bowed. He whispered to Stacee. "I always wanted to say that."        Post   i need to quit lying    12:51am 22/06/2008   I have no idea what is true and what isn't. Let's start with some basic truths. I want to be loved.        Post   perfect job    06:09pm 21/06/2008   Would be surrounded by books and cute things Sometimes I'd be teaching things to and playing with children Maybe war games, video games, imagination Helping people learn math, science, creative writing, theater, computery stuff, websites!        Post   confusion    01:54pm 20/06/2008   so i was pregnant and i searched for matt so i could tell him i knew it was his i saw the future and knew if he didn't know this child was his, the child would be hurt i came into his house and a woman was there and i just knew he was fucking her, not at the moment, but other times i helped my mom pack boxes up of children's games, books and puzzles on another note, what was he going to say that could possibly make me slap him? i still want to run away with him i get clingy like that i guess        Read 2 - Post

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