~*~*~*CarLey ELiSE*~*~*~'s Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar]
~*~*~*CarLey ELiSE*~*~*~

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[12 Sep 2003|06:42pm]
[ mood | sad ]
[ music | my stupid sappy love songs, that add to the sadness!!! ]

ok...lemme see hear! this week pretty much sucked. i fought like everyday with tony and that was the worst feeling i have ever had. it made me so sad, and i just like didnt want 2 talk to anyone but him. but we worked all that stuff out and were good now. well as good as were gonna be with many miles between. he makes me smile so thats good. classes have been going well too, i guess the bonus is i havent fallen asleep in any of them. =) ok this kid in my spanish class joe, well hes a weirdo, kinda creepy, but anyways, he pissed me off in class on thursday and he went and stuck his fist out in front of me, yea well i punched it sooooo hard, and now i have a bruise between my pinky and the other finger next to it...ouchy! grrrrr...talk about today being a HORRIBLE day. at the moment i am surprised my heart is even beating. it has just been, i dunno what it has been definitely too much crying and being upset for one day, i just cant even describe what i am thinking right now. i need 2 talk to my tony...my tony makes me smile =) ::sigh:: im so emotionally drained at the moment, i hate when i fight with my brother, it makes the whole house go crazy and i always sit there screaming at the top of my lungs, just to vent my frustration out, damn the italian in me. i really miss my tony tho, him and i have some interestingly crazy conversations about nothing anyone would understand! hahaha, they are sooo classic like that tho! i love it! well i guess that is about it for now, im really just too blah to type much of anything! maybe later tonight but i will prolly be busy on the phone with tony. hehe! well night night! <3333

I Wuv My Ton Ton!!!

<3 carley

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GOD DAMN [09 Sep 2003|09:07pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

I HATE MYSELF

I HATE MY LIFE

I HATE THAT THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS

I HATE THAT I CANT JUST WALK AWAY

I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE MY LIFE!!!!

WILL SOMEONE PLEASE JUST KILL ME????

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[06 Sep 2003|01:30pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

No one reads this shitty thing anyways so I thought i would make the most of it and express something that I feel I need too. Personally, I dont give a shit what you think of it, and even if the guy that this is about reads this and leaves my side thats ok, cuz its his choice. I'm not gonna say who it is about if he is smart then he shall know! But these are my feelings right down to the core, if you dont like them then head to the door!

Can I tell You?? 9-6-03

Can I tell you I love you...and have it all be ok?
Can I whisper sweet notings in your ear as we lay?
Can I dream of what it would be like for you to touch my face?
Can we take things a little slower and go at my pace?

Can you be the one to make my dreams come true?
Can you give me love and friendship and never make me feel blue?
Can love last forever with just us together?
Can you say that you'll leave me never?

Can you love me the way I love you?
Can you promise me the world and all your love too?
Can the sky be the limits, nothing we cant do?
Can you show me your love buy giving me clues?

Can you see that I tremble at your touch?
Can you tell that I think of you oh so much?
Can I tell you the truth, my love so strong?
Can I wish it would last very long?

Can I express my fears?
Can you wipe away my tears?
Can you kiss my lips gentle?
Can we lay together and just cuddle?

Can you see I want to be with you?
Can you tell me you want to be with me too?



<3 Carley

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*crazy, weird days* [04 Sep 2003|07:57pm]
[ mood | confused ]
[ music | Boys of the Summer~Ataris ]

Aiiight...well i know i havent really been like updating much but sometimes i just dont feel like it! but lemme see, school is going good making some cool friends. i have this strange boy in my spanish class...eeek, he scares me, i dont get him...lemme just throw out a hint to guys...cocky does not = girl falling for you. in fact its a turn off...for me at least. but thats ok, i got my mind set on liking someone that is too many damn miles away. *sigh* i cant help but think i am messing up things with this boy, you should all know who he is by now. i just...i dont know...i mean we are friends...and i guess just friends but things dont always seem that way. *shrugs* i dont know...i'm soo...i guess just feeling a lil confused or a lotta confused, it just sucks not knowing and stuff...i dunno. grrrrrrrrr...i do this to myself all the time! ::curls up in my bed...cuddling with my pillow, takes a deep breath and closes my eyes, lays there day dreaming:: ummm not a whole lot up for this weekend, on saturday i am going to harpers football game with my friend megan! should be cool, im excited.

Gah, i wish everything was easier...i wish i knew everything, i wish that every tick every thought every emotion was expressed to me. im an open person...i will let ya know what i am thinking and what i am feeling but i think at times that i shouldnt. like because i do that i scare people away but i cant help but to be myself. and maybe myself is too much for people, maybe people cant take the fact that someone might care for them, but you know what, caring is life, love is life, sharing is life, so if you sit there in the backseats waiting for something to come...then you might be sadly mistaken because chances are its sitting in fromt of you and you dont know it. everything that might be good for you is something you wont be able to see, so just think about it!

I never will forget those nights/I wonder if it was a dream/Remember how you made me crazy?/Remember how I made you scream/Now I don't understand what happened to our love/But babe, I'm gonna get you back/I'm gonna show you what I'm made of...~~The Ataris-The Boys of Summer

In every little thing in my life, my thoughts always come back to these lyrics. Never in my life will i forget the things i have shared with people, the times that we fought but most of all the times that we made eachother smile. In this lost and empty world theres is always one thing that is true, you learn, you grow, you achieve the unachieveable to the highest expectations you make for yourself and through the pain and joys of the people coming and going, but just because someone who means a lot to you isnt there right now, doesnt mean you cant prove to them that you are everything that they have ever hoped for!! Further more...Tony...you are my sunshine on a cloudy day, my blanket to wipe away the tears. i will never be able to explain to you in words how much i have appreciated having you in my life, but i also dont want you to think i am in search of something from you. Miles upon miles stand between us and i realize that, and i realize getting close to someone far away can be a hurting process, but im not gonna just up and leave unless u ask me too and therefore you have nothing to fear. if i say something that bothers you...tell me, if something else just isnt clicking right then tell me, i need you and i want you to be honest with me, it is very important so i know what is going on. you are a great person with a big heart but if you wish for me to back off some then tell me please...::hug:: <3 <3 <3

G'night!

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 CarLey ELiSE <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

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I know, I know... [01 Sep 2003|05:55pm]
[ mood | lethargic ]
[ music | sappy love music ]

I havent written in here for a lil bit...been too lazy I guess! Haha...schools going alright, meeting some cool people and what not. It has been like raining all weekend, which kinda sucks but not really...its been in the lower 60's so that cool, I was getting tired of that 95 degree heat! I had my grandparents anniversary party yesterday, it was alright...i have some psycho kids that belong to my uncles girlfriend that are "part" of the family now, they are sooooo damn annoying...::shots self in head:: I got to see some of my cousins that I hadnt seen in a while so that was cool, some of them have changed a lot...other than that the day sucked cuz I was not noticed at all and I had to see baby and lil kid pictures of me...hehe!

I talked to my tony a lot yesterday...on the phone of course, so that was really nice. his voice makes me smile and its just amazing the connection we have and the things we can joke about. I love it! i just wish he wasnt so far away so that maybe being more than friends wouldnt be an issue but for right now it is

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*La*La*La* [27 Aug 2003|06:34pm]
[ mood | naughty ]
[ music | I Kissed a Drunk Girl~Something Corporate ]

Otays, so yes, yesterday was not the best day of my life but I guess it could have been worse. I at one point, late at night got pretty damn sad but I dont really fully understand why but I guess its just me and the way I react to certain things. I had Happy Birthday pancakes for din din so that was cool and a lemon marenge (sp?) for my dessert or whatever you wanna call what would have been a cake! It was fun I guess, not much happened besides I got my hair cut! A WHOLE 7 1/2 inches cut off...whoa man, that was a lot but my hair was damn fricken long.

OoOoOoOo...I forgot to mention this the other day but when I was talking with the fam, I seemed to be having some problems speaking, and my mother always says that I need to clean my mouth cuz I use
*fuck* as an adjetive, so in mid sentence that popped into my head that she always says that so I said frick up instead of fuck up, man all I can say is my family would not stop laughing at me. I always have been the dumb funny one...which I guess could be good and bad, but then as if I thought I couldnt mess anything else up that night, like a few moments later I was talking to my daddy about my World's Religion class and I was telling him about the different religions we are studying and instead of saying buddism I proudly and confidently said BOOTYism...haha yea...talk about complete dork, I wasnt even thinking when I said it and it was sad enough that I thought when I did say that, that I had said it correct and everyone is laughing yet again and I'm like what? so they all explain to me that I said Booty...it was a classic Carley moment, definitely showing the character side of me.

Anyways, back to yesterday, I talked to Tony at night when he got home from being out. That made my night better definitely because he is always able to put a smile on my face even though I may be sad about something. And even tho I only talked to him for 20 minutes it was better then not talking at all because all him and I do on the phone is talk, talk, talk, and laugh, laugh, laugh...its really a refreshing feeling to know that I can get along with someone so well. He's a good guy, really sweet, and has a huge heart with a lot of caring and emotion to share with special people in his life. No matter what he always makes me feel special and important to him and his life and somehow he always knows all the right things to say to make me feel better. Someone like that doesnt come along often in life, so when they do it is best to hold onto them and not push them away because who knows you may never find someone as perfectly amazing as them.

Tony you are my perfectly amazing person...there is nothing in this world that can replace what you and I have, whatever it is that we have its great, the talks, the laughs, the tingles, the smiles, the stupid jokes, and kissy faces, all of it...its all so natural, all so perfect and I could have never asked for a more perfect person to be in my life! I meant what I said before, In my nothing, you mean everything to me. The motivation to keep the days going strong...the thought that at the end of the day I get to talk to you, looking forward to every word, every laugh, every breath that comes out of your mouth. You are my HERO and I want you to never forget that, you may think that you dont have impacts on peoples lives but I want you to know that you did have one on mine and I am sure many others but they may just be too shy to tell ya! I heart you Tony! <33333

Ok moving on away from the sappy romantically cute stuff of Carley, I went to school today, it was pretty good I guess...my World's Religion class bored me and every other person in that class to death, the kid next to me was even sleeping *classic*. I took the Jeep top down...ahhh how I love the wind blowing thru my hair and the Jeep waves are by far the greatest. You have a Jeep Wrangler? Make sure you wave at your fellow buddies! While I was driving home from school I saw my buddy Julian too bad he didnt see me =( But thats ok, he's still a good guy and his yellow Jeep which has a lift on it and big tires is *PIMP* Other than that I am just chillin and I will prolly do a lil bit of homework b4 Big Brother comes on...I am excited tho, today two people leave, one gets evicted and I dont know why the other leaves but damn I cant wait to find out, adds a crazy twist on the game, and makes it in actuality shorter. But no worries I will edit this later and tell ya why the other person left! And I cant wait till tony gets home and I can talk to him! I miss him but he is at work doing his job, however, there is Carley time when he gets home...hehe that sounds weird...all righty I think I wrote enough here and by the time you get to this point if you even read to here your gonna be like damn Carley no more entries like that...but you know I just talk a lot! Have a G'night everyone...<33

<33 Carley Elise <33

I <33 HEART <33 TONY!!!

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*HappY BirthdaY 2 Me* [26 Aug 2003|10:32am]
[ mood | hopeful ]
[ music | some stuff ]

::sigh:: so I was hoping for one of those really happy birthdays, you know the ones where everything goes alright and your feeling fine and your just overall happy! well that was spoiled already today. why is it that my mom needs to give me shit for the stupidest reasons! especially on my fricken birthday. I mean any other day of the year would be fine but why today? I mean seriously, lets just forget that its my birthday all together and not have to worry about making it a special day for me. I just wanted one day...one mother fucking day! why is that soooooooo hard!!!!!????? Anyways, besides that i went to class and I had no teacher...he didnt show up so I was like oook and I came home, so thats both a good and a bad thing, good that I didnt have class...bad that I had to wake up early still. I talked to Tony on my way home...it was nice...he wished me a Happy Birthday so that made me feel special. But for some reason I feel like somethings a little off. Maybe its just me...maybe I'm off, maybe I'm messed up. ::shrugs:: I just wish...damn...I dont know what I wish. haha...i get Happy Birthday pancakes for din din tonight so I am kinda excited about that...then thats about it...Tony said he has to send me a sweatshirt as a belated birthday present...hehe that would be really cool if he does. well I think I am gonna jet now, prolly watch some soap operas and stuff b4 I have to go back to school. I am also getting my hair cut today so I am excited! Leave me some love! <333

Oh yea and one other thing, I am a fuck up! I mess everything up always and its not a good thing but I guess I just cant help the things I think and say and feel, so if you want nothing to do with me just tell me and I'll leave you alone! I dont really understand but oh wells I guess...I'm feeling sick now, so I'm gone...have a good day everyone!

<3 Carley

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*New Start? Same Beginning?* [24 Aug 2003|10:33pm]
[ mood | lonely ]
[ music | anything and everything by something corporate ]

Well, I start my first day at that stupid community college...grrr...I am hoping that it will be ok! *shrugs* to my weird ass life...I swear the drama never ends but I think it will now...unless you bring some good to my life like a few selected of you...the rest of you are cut off. I just, I dont need the drama, I dont need a fucking repeat of last year...that would just destroy me! I'm still in the process of getting better so thanks to those who have helped me the most like Nicole and Mike! I really dont know what I would have done without you guys this summer! All the memories we shared...Ohio road Trip, Cedar Point, Michigan Dunes, Dennys, Steak and Shake, Bowling, Nickel Arcade, movies at my house, pinball, and all that other good stuff! You guys definitely made this the best summer of my life!! I love you both very much!!!<333

Moving on...I have a new person in my life...well he's not that new anymore but it still feels very brand new to me! I still get the same feeling I did when I first talked to him...but now more then ever I miss him because he is on vacay! Yes yes yes...It's tony. I dont know Tony...there is just something about you, that when I think of you I smile, even when your not around! All I can say tho, is that I hope to doesnt go away, that feeling has made me happier and has given me more ability to be myself. You have shown me something new, that not everything has to reflect on what is on the outside but that the inside the personality the strength and weaknesses within a person are what matters. You truly are my definition of the perfect guy...except that your there and I am here...but everything that you have offered me, is everything that I have ever wanted but didnt know it. The smiles that you put on my face are a refreshing reminder of my past and I would like my old happy past to continue growing into my new happy future! I cant wait till you come home tomorrow! And I cant wait to talk to you! I hope you had fun in NJ...talk to you soon...
::pulls you from NJ to Illinois into my bed...steals your sweatshirt from off you...cuddles up close to you...squeezes tight telling you how much i miss you...and kisses your cheek then lays my head on your chest and falls sleepy in your arms:: <33333

Other than that...tuesday is my bday...hopefully it will be decent but damn I have to go to school on that day so that alone blows but it will still be good. least I will be able to talk to Tony hopefully and yeas...life is going pretty good right now...minus a few setbacks! But all is well now! Have a good rest of the night ya'll and I will be talking to hopefully most of you tomorrow! G'Night!! <3

**Car**Car**

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*Bad 2 Good* [22 Aug 2003|02:03pm]
[ mood | happy ]

Well last night wasnt the best night but I got it all worked out this morning and I am feeling a lot better about it all! I'm just messed up sometimes and I think one thing and maybe the other person is thinking it but fears it or something, I dunno...different states suck especially when you are so far away from someone you would like to spend some time with. I hate when all you need to make ya smile is hundreds of miles away, sitting there daydreaming about you, and just I dunno...grrrrs.

Tony, I am REALLY sorry for last night! I was just I dunno its a mix of stuff between you being so far away, me liking you, and all my friends leaving for college, I just got down in the dumps I guess. You mean so much to me because your so real, your so not like anyone I have ever met, yet you dont go out of your way to please people. Your just you and you is a wonderful person that makes me smile everytime I think of you! Life, relationships, love, caring are all complicated yet nuturing aspects of growing up. I know at times its a fearful thing to care for someone who is so far away, but I want you to know that you will always be my cute tony and that I will never stop caring for you. You put a smile on my face even in my weakest moments and that is hard to do. The email that you sent me last night told me a lot, it melted my heart yet, it also made me a litte fearful since I knew you didnt want to get close. I also could tell that you are getting close and I cant say that its a bad thing. I'm just letting it flow. But thank you for everything that you have been, all the smiles you brought to my face. ::tight hugs, cuddles and many kisses:: My heart beats with yours...<333

Tonight I am going out to chicago with Mike and Nicole and we are gonna go eat at the oven grinder...the famous upside down pizza which is the best in the world...yummms! Then I think we are heading over to Nickel Arcade to be the losers that we are and play some games!! Other than that I dont know what I am up to, I hope that sometime I can call Tony and talk to him b4 he leaves for his mini vacay, cuz I wont be able to talk to him till monday! But thats the deal...and my plans for today and now I have to go get ready so I can smell all good when I go out! I'll write more tonight when I get home. <3

By the way *YAY* for my 19th birthday being on Tuesday and a BIG *BOO* to starting school on Monday the day b4 my bday, thats how it was always in school...it is no fun! grrrrrs! haha later y'all!

<3*Carley Elise*

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*Stares @ the Sky* [20 Aug 2003|11:54am]
[ mood | crazy ]
[ music | oasis~wonderwall ]

Its truly amazing how one person can have such a huge affect on how your day plays out. The simple things that they do can put a smile on your face or the things they say can make you laugh and leave you smiling and peacefully happy the rest of that day.

its all in the way he makes me feel, to some others it may not be that big of a deal, but with me its something new, the sound of his voice makes me never feel blue, even tho thousands of miles stand in the way, he always knows all the right things to say. he is special and unique and a cutie the most, so what if he's on the east coast, that doesnt change the things i think, the connection between us is much more then just a lil link. its been a while since i have smiled this much, i wonder what it would be like to feel his touch. just his hand running thru my hair or down my face, just a simple lil kiss to know his tatse. I never thought it possible to care this way, i wish it was easy to be in his bed and lay. relaxed, comfy, and happily touched, i never knew i could like him this much! <33333

i had a decent day yesterday. i hung out with nicole for a while, went to harper to pay for my classes, talk about cheap man, only $999.25 how dumb is that. sheesh. after that nicole and i went and brought my pictures in to get them developed and that was cool when i got them back i really liked some of them and i showed tony my off roading pics and now he wants a jeep...sorry bud. haha nicole and i got subway for din din it was really yummy and we watched big brother and cupid with my parents. haha yes i watched tv with my parents...it was fun. those shows are good...talk about all the drama...i like watching drama but not having it. anyways, after that nicole and i got ice cream and i got the famous cookie dough ice cream, thats the best for sure!!! then i brought her back to her house cuz i was tired and what not and i just wannated to like chill out and lay in bed and stufferz. i talked to tony last night. that was good. we talked for a while online and then i called him and we talked b4 we went to bed, that was good too. i like talking to him...hes funny and cute and he is really sweet. good times. tony your a great guy...i wish you were here ::reaches arms out far to get tony...hugs tightly, i'm not letting go::<3

i cut the grass this morning...wooo was it hot out....damn the man...ooo they are almost done finishing my driveway and front walk way into my house, I am excited its gonna be sooo purrty! anyways, im like tired now and i stinky from cutting the grass but I have to do the front in a lil bit so i will write more if something exciting happens, i am trying to even out my tan for my gparents anniversary party in a lil more than a week. I am gonna be wearing a long white dress so a tan will look nice with that. so im kinda excited...i have to go get a job and i have to go workout so i can get my muscles back, i miss them and i want to look good again cuz i dont think i look good right now. but i hope you all have a great day...be crwzy!

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*JealousY sUcKs* [19 Aug 2003|02:25am]
[ mood | aggravated ]
[ music | 40/80- lucky boys confusion ]

why is it that jealousy plays such a strong role in the world today? why cant people be trusted to make the right decisions or why do significant others have to be treated more as a property then as a companion? shouldnt trust be the major factor between two people that care for eachother?

tonight was an interesting experience. what can i say besides girls are so confusingly dumb. i mean yea...this entire summer i have hung out with nicole and mike...mike being her bf but also my friend. i have known nicole for 14 years, you would think by now that she would understand the kind of person i am but obviously she doesnt. well tonight i hung out with mike...well not really...mike came to my house so i could bleach his hair since he got it cut so he could surprise nicole. only she didnt know he was coming over cuz i hadnt talked to her and he didnt talk to her b4 he came over. since nicole lives 5 houses from mine, she saw his jeep there and i knew she would be pissed. i just know the girl too well, i knew she was gonna be bothered that we were hanging out without her, but seriously wtf? does she think im some bf stealer...or some stupid slut who would really do that to my best friend. shit damners...god that seriously pisses me off that she could think so low of me or of her own bf. its like she doesnt trust us, yea so what i had a crush on him freahman and sophomore year...that was 3 years ago...ok? get over it...and so what he had a crush on me senior year, your his gf arent you? so why you getting all uptight about it. i mean i am not saying by any means that i am perfect and i never get jealous but i dont get pissed jealous like that when there is nothing to worry about in the first place. if it was some random chic and her bf was at her house then i would understand the anger and jealousy but she has known me for 14 years...my god...she should know me better then that...argh...im frustrated right now...imma hit the hay and hope for a better day tomorrow.

i got to talk to tony a little tonight, i think it was overall good, maybe a little confusing and stuff but its hard i guess. emotions are hard...feelings are hard...life is hard...happiness is even harder for me at least...tony you know where i stand...you know how much you mean to me...you know everything, so maybe in the not so distant future things wont be so compliacted.
<3 i heart you tony!!! <3 talk to you tomorrow!

g'night all

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**4 wheeling** [18 Aug 2003|11:19am]
[ mood | loved ]

Yesterday I woke up so damn early to go to Indiana for some badass 4 wheeling! Good old 6 AM is the time to wake up. Mike picked me up and we headed over to Julians house to gather there and then headed over to Julians Warehouse where he has a shop to repair cars. So the guys, (Julian, Nate, Jim, Dan, and Mike) did some repairs on their Jeeps, just the little stuff and I helped with what I could! I love that place, its soooo cool in there and to watch the guys work is just so interesting, I dunno I'm a nerd like that. Then we left and heading out in which we got stuck in MAD traffic in Chicago and we lost Dan and Jim...who got ahead of us all! We caught up tho and stopped for some good old Subway...its all about the veggie sub...yummers. Finally at like 3:15 PM we get to the Badlands (thats what they are called) and damn the man they are only open till 5:30 PM so we didnt have that much time out there...we took some air out of the tires and finished other stuff then headed out. Like 15 minutes into the trail...Julian got his Jeep stuck in a HUGE mud puddle...well it was more like a mud pool, so we had to pull him out...hahahaha! Good stuff man! I have some badass pictures that I took too! But we went on some other trails and stuff, soo much fun, I was like covered in Mud it was great, I dont think I have had that much fun in a long time. It was just cool to be like the only girl interested in going with all these guys, its a cool experience because they all like treat me well, and just I dunno...haha they pick on me a little but thats ok. OMG I almost forgot...the guys brought along a huge water pressure can to like clean off the crap on the tires and stuff afterwards...haha the entire way up there...Nate and Julian kept spraying me and Mike...we were soaked but it was hot so it felt good, and it was just funny, its moments like that which mak things more crazy and fun. The mud was great, the terrain was awesome, it just was an overall good experience, no injuries, just dirty good old fun...hehe! I got home at like 11 PM and all was well the ride home was cold, but it was still well worth it. But man I need to take it easy for a few days because holy crappers I havent been sleeping much at all 6 or 7 hours a night...sometimes less. I'm crazy but its all good.

I miss my Jeep, I think I am going to take it for a spin today with the top down and listen to some good music and stuff! haha...YAY for my birthday being in *8* days!!!! ::dances around the room::

I talked to Tony yesterday. He is such a cutie...haha words do not describe. He makes me feel special...haha which I am not used to at all. I dont know...were funny and we just laugh a lot which is always a healthy thing between 2 people. It is better to laugh and have fun then it is to fight. well I'll update more on Tony later, I have to go ito my college and pick my classes like NOW! They just called...grr them...haha...later guys!

Tony have fun at the movies with you lil bro...I will talk to you later tonight! <3

*Car*Car*

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*CEDAR POINT TRIP* [16 Aug 2003|04:53pm]
[ mood | thoughtful ]
[ music | Sublime ]

Well I am most definitely back from my trip...WOW is all I can really say! Some of the rides at Cedar Point were simply amazing...I just I cant describe but the ride that goes from 0-120 MPH in 4 seconds rocked my socks off...holy shit was it great! I dunno it sucked too tho because we went on Thursday and all of you should know there was that damn fucking black out...god damn so we were there 2 hours and it shut down...fucking A...soo we went back Friday...it rained a little but everything turned out good in the end. It was crazy, but tons of fun...however I am glad to be home too.

The entire time I was gone...I had one thing on my mind, and it was just I dunno confusing I guess. No matter what I did I couldnt stop thinking it...I was going nuts...all I really wanted was for him to be there with me, I know thats crazy to think seeming I dont really know him but, geez...he's stuck in my head. Just the way he makes me laugh on the phone...and the sweet things he always says, it has been so everything I have been looking for. I seem to do nothing but date all the jerks in life and for once I found someone who doesnt seem to have an ounce of that in him...yet I prolly cant have him. It's so complicated like that. I dont know why he is on my mind so much right now...hes so great...so perfect...you just want to cuddle with him for the endless hours of the rest of your life. Just someone you know that cares, and that likes your company for who you are not for what he wants you to be. MmMmMm...well I hope that this guy knows who he is and knows how much I care about him...which he should since he was the only person I talked to on the phone on my trip besides my parents! <3

Geez...watch me sleep like all tomorrow...hahahaha...I am sooo beat but anyways I think this is enough for this entry, if something exciting happens tonight (I doubt it) then I will write about it...if not then I will write back soon. Thank you soo much Tony for the email...made me feel especially loved! <3 <3 hehe...I'll hopefully talk to you tonight Boy! =)~

::curls up in Tony's sweatshirt in his bed and with his lil cow...ZzZzZzZz::

<3 Car Car

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CRAZY FUN =)~ [12 Aug 2003|05:26pm]
[ mood | excited ]
[ music | <3my heart beating fast<3 ...thump...thump...thump ]

Hehe...well I have so far spent most of my day talking to Tony even tho I was suppose to be cleaning my room for when Mike and Nicole stay over tonight. Craziness I know! haha Tony is sooo adorable tho. mmm...well yea I am getting ready to be leaving tomorrow and I wont be back until Friday mid day or night! It's gonna be sooo awesome! OHIO here we come for some fun at Cedar Point! WOOT WOOT!!! Hahaha I must say that this has been the best summer of my life. With all the road trips, meeting new people hanging out with Nicole my best friend of 13 years, I love you girl! And Mike...cant forget Mike...he's the coolest guy on the earth...haha he's soo awesome, so carefree, so much fun! Good times...Good times...Nuffin can get better then this. I may have delt with some BS this summer but that was all petty stuff that I dont even care about anymore...with the way my life is going I'm set...I'm happy...well most the time...and its just fun! Anyways....so I called Tony today! He is such a funny guy! We talked about the most random stuff but I think thats what makes it fun. I dunno we were just like laughing a lot...it was really cool...so much fun...lalalalalalalala I'm all hyper and stuff, but yet I am tired too...mmm I'm an odd girl what can I say...haha well I think that is all for my update today. I will update about my road trip when I get back...have a good rest of the week peoples! *Muah*

*TonY*~I will miss you while I am gone! Dont be too crazy and all that stufferz...and make sure you treat my bed well...since I am giving you permission to sleep in it while I am gone. You deserve a comfy bed to sleep in! hehe! ::rubs my nose on yours:: talk to ya when I get home! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

*Carley Elise*

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*so dead* [11 Aug 2003|04:16am]
[ mood | peaceful ]
[ music | the sound of the fan... ]

Man I keep killing myself with these messed up hours that I go to bed and wake up...it is just simply crazy but oh wells! Lets see what did I do today. I watched a little Nascar...no I'm not a hick I just have a need for speed...haha well my "boyfriend" Dale Jr. got third place today...woot woot Go baby!!! hehe...I also cut the grass, and damn was it fricken long as hell. I hate that....damn the rain...haha oh wells, I love the rain. Then I took a shower...like a 10 minute one, I am just good like that. The Jeep needed a good ride today so I made sure to do that...and then I was feeling hella sick so I laid down and I ended up passing out hardcore...not for long tho...prolly like 30 minutes. I talked to TONY a lot today. hehe awwws. he is soooo cute. Man you so owe me one of your hoodies...I want one now...haha! He's a rather interesting guy and it seems that we so far enjoy eachother company in kind of a weird way...we bond lets just say that. Tony we need to go off roading and you need to come here...haha that would be bad ass to the max. At like 10:30 tonight, I went out with Mike and Nicole, I agree with my mom, we are the 3 muskateers and Nicole and I are Mike's women or something like that...classic I tell ya. I have formed a really strong friendship with the 2 of them this summer and it is good...now it is fricken 4:24 AM and I am tired and I want cookie dough ice cream but I wanna go to bed....damn the man! Hahaha Night ya'll! <33

*<3 CarLey ELiSE<3*

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THANK YOU RYAN!!! [10 Aug 2003|01:00pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

Thanks to the wonderful Ryan blurty user sexy_ryan for my amazing layout and icon! You rock Boy! haha I'll write more later, I have to go cut the grass now and I wanna take a ride in my jeep...yea baby! leave some love...

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*CLASSIC* [09 Aug 2003|09:23pm]
[ mood | amused ]
[ music | Get Low- Lil John & the Eastside Boys ]

Ok so yea...Nicole and I went to Best Buy because I wanted to buy the Lil John & the Eastside Boys cd because I am sooo loving the song Get Low. Anyways, while we were there, this kid, totally looking like a wanna be Cali surfer boy with the damnish long blonde hair came up to talk to us. This kid was so fricken tiny, I felt like i could break him with my finger. Anyways, so we are standing in line and the kid comes up to me and Nicole with a Best Buy flyer and says that he was wondering from our opinion what would be the best cell phone to buy to attract girls! HELLO!!! Well first of all a girl isnt gonna look at your phone and decide that she wants to hook up with you cuz you have some bling bling cell phone with a fricken Abercrombie model on it. If anything she would completely think you are a homosexual who enjoys looking at the male models. I mean seriously what was this kid thinking, and he was the one that even suggested that he would put the models on it...wtf? haha, that was soo the highlight of our night and we thought it was all done and over but we were wrong...as we were walking out, the kid says to us well have you decided on which phone I should get and I am trying to explain to the kid that no chic is gonna care what fucking cell phone he has and then he throws back the funniest line in the world...he says to me "Oh well then I guess I'll have to make up for it in my pants" HAHAHAHAHAHAHA dude he was so like 15 or 16, the kid didnt even have hair on his legs yet and hes talking about what he has in his pants...he dont got nuffin in his pants to offer any chic. That was sooo pathetic, me and Nicole were seriously like cracking up, it was one of those most random things that happens and its like ok that better have been a dare by the rest of his friends cuz if he really did that then that kid has no hope for the future with a chic. Man oh man...its nights like these that make life worth living. So guys....bling bling cell phones do not attract girls! Thats all for now! I'm going back out...have a nice night ya'll! <3

<33333333 Carley Elise <33333333

(2) playmates Wannabe a playmate?

...Kinda Stressed... [09 Aug 2003|03:53pm]
[ mood | flirty ]
[ music | Get Low-Lil John and the Eastside Boys ]

Lets see here, well all I have been doing lately is pretty much just going out. But damn the man, I stay out so fucking late. I never really get to bed before 5:30 Am which is nuts considering I start school soon! Besides that I'm still working on planning my trips and all that good stuff man. My Jeep is the best. I am sooo glad to have it back, and now all I have to do is get a job so that I can save up for a lift and better tires, even tho the ones I have right now would be ok. So Mike and I were analyzing my Jeep last night and we found things that are different with it now because some pieces are new...I am not a happy camper...I might bring it back in so that they will fix it but knowing my luck they wont. I dunno I"ll be going out again tonight, prolly just chilling and all that good stuff. I have to go cut the grass, man oh man, least I like doing it, it's just a lil hot but I'll deal. Thats all I got for now...I'll write more when I get home later today or tomorrow morning which ever it is that happens. Later dudes

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*WOWZER* [07 Aug 2003|07:47pm]
[ mood | crazy ]

So yea...I know I havent updatd in forever and what not but I mean I've been a crazy girl these past few weeks. I got my Jeep back today! Man was I excited!!!! It looked brand new again and I am soo happy to be driving around in it again. Last weekend was nuts, I think I got like 13 hours sleep total from friday-monday. It was bad...on saturday I went to the 311-Something Corporate concert at UIC Pavillion. It was kick ass. I had sooo much fun. Nothing can get better then that. Definitely were some fine guys there. Then on way early Sunday morning, Nicole, Mike and I went to Julian's (Mike's friend" and there I met Nate and Jim! MMMMhMMMM Jim is soooo YUMMY!! haha anyways, we went and took a drive up to Michigan to the Dunes where we took Mike and Julians Jeeps 4-wheeling! It was a BLAST!! I havent had that much fun in a long ass time. The craziest part was when Mike drove up this hill and he was going like 35 mph and when we got to the top we lifted off the ground into the air...5 ft baby! haha and the movie that Jim got was amazingly awesome! So crazy and soo much fun! And so far this week I have just been like staying up late every night. I think my bedtime has permenantly become anytime from 4-6 Am...I know I am nuts. I am so tired right now but whatcha gonna do. I majorly have a crush on Jim and I get to see him again when we go 4-wheeling on the 17th! God it is gonna be great. And I will be planning my trip to Cedar Point soon with Nicole and Mike and that should be loads of fun! Well I think thats all I have to update with now! I will be sure to write more often.

<3 Carley

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*Lemme Give You A Run Down* [26 Jul 2003|05:37pm]
[ mood | calm ]
[ music | Little Texas~What might have been ]

Lately I have been rather well gone...I dont care much for the internet anymore but hey I liked having a journal and as long as I dont get sucked in by all those messed up people again I will be all good. This is mainly here for my purpose to rant and rave about the bullshit that goes down in my life. Anyways, so I got from florida on wednesday and I am going back there in like 2 weeks, how exciting is that! I love having 2 homes. Well I hung out with Nicole on Thursday and after I picked her up and we were driving down our street, I happened to take a glance over at the landscaper guys doing some work...and usually they are like old men but OMG...did I see the FINEST, TANNEST, white man alive! Mmmmm....his body was soooo ripped and he was just mmmm....god I could have eaten him all up...he had piercings and he was all sweaty because it was hott out and damn his body glistened nicely! I was seriously just in awe of this guy and I cant wait till I see him again, his sweaty body is just like a picture implanted in my brain and mmmmhmmm...haha besides that life is pretty boring. I dont care to go out much, I am really just in that relaxing moods where I just wanna chill with some friends or something nothing big you know but anyways. So yea thats what I do a lot these days. Well I will write more later tonight and catch you up on what I do tonight...soo bye byez <3

*carley*

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