CantBeNormal's Blurty
 
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Below are the 3 most recent journal entries recorded in CantBeNormal's Blurty:

    Wednesday, July 9th, 2003
    6:05 pm
    Music and Me
    Well, I don't rightfully know where I left off the other day but eh, whatever. Music is pretty much my life. I love music and almost all genres, save for country and alot of the hip-hop that's out there. Country, I just can't get into. Sorry. Can't do it. Now Hip-Hop on the other hand is just a dead genre save for a few gems. Almost all of the songs coming out nowadays have the same meanings behind them and that gets wayyy too repetitive for me. Some people that I do like are Busta Ryhmes, cause he uses alot of different instruments and directions when it comes to his music. I like Eminem for his rage and hatred. I like some of Nas' new stuff because it has good meanings behind them and I respect that. Now when it comes to all the rest of the music out there, Whoa boy. Genres I listen to include:
    Alternative, Metal, Darkwave, Industrial, Rock, Hard Rock, Classic Rock, Blues, Techno, Jazz (not that bullshit smooth jazz shit though), Old-school punk (new punk is cookie-cutter stuff anymore), Funk, Jam, Virtuoso, and damn, I can't think of anymore. If anyone knows of anothe genre let me know and I'll tell you if I listen to it or not.

    Current Mood: relaxed
    Current Music: Stabbing Westward - Sometimes It Hurts
    6:05 pm
    Music and Me
    Well, I don't rightfully know where I left off the other day but eh, whatever. Music is pretty much my life. I love music and almost all genres, save for country and alot of the hip-hop that's out there. Country, I just can't get into. Sorry. Can't do it. Now Hip-Hop on the other hand is just a dead genre save for a few gems. Almost all of the songs coming out nowadays have the same meanings behind them and that gets wayyy too repetitive for me. Some people that I do like are Busta Ryhmes, cause he uses alot of different instruments and directions when it comes to his music. I like Eminem for his rage and hatred. I like some of Nas' new stuff because it has good meanings behind them and I respect that. Now when it comes to all the rest of the music out there, Whoa boy. Genres I listen to include:
    Alternative, Metal, Darkwave, Industrial, Rock, Hard Rock, Classic Rock, Blues, Techno, Jazz (not that bullshit smooth jazz shit though), Old-school punk (new punk is cookie-cutter stuff anymore), Funk, Jam, Virtuoso, and damn, I can't think of anymore. If anyone knows of anothe genre let me know and I'll tell you if I listen to it or not.

    Current Mood: relaxed
    Current Music: Stabbing Westward - Sometimes It Hurts
    12:42 am
    My First Entry
    Grrr, now I had just written about two paragraphs worth of information about myself when all of a sudden my internet froze. Stupid interent. It's way past midnight and I'm not really in the mood to go through it all again in such detail so you all can get the shortened version. I'm 5'9, 190 lbs. I have brown eyes and naturally brown hair. it's blonde now though cause I had to strip my hair to get the blue out. Do not use Special Effects if you plan on having the color fade away. I had my hair blue for months and the color wasn't leaving. But anyway, so i have blonde right now cause I have no other hair dye at the moment. I might do red again. I'm not sure yet. I used to play hockey but after a series of very serious accidents, my career is basically over. Wiht nothing really left, I've taken up bowling, with my mom non-the-less. I laugh at myself about it too. I look at myself as a pretty laid back guy. It takes alot to get under my skin and I'm pretty receptive to everyone else and the way they are, but that doesn't mean I have to take their shit. I honestly believe I'm a nice guy and until recently figured that I was good at being in a relationship. Okay, that was vague. Um, here's the life story. lol.

    My first relationship was a complete train-wreck. I was 15 and had NOOOOO self confidence. My ex was a pain in the ass and honestly a real bitch at times but we got through 4 and half years with each other (off-and-on). During those 4 1/2 years, I learned the joys of being cheated on (constantly), lied to, insulted and belittled, and by the end, hated. Eventually we broke up. She met some one at her college and broke up with me at 2:30 AM after she went to a concert with the guy. No beef with the guy but I still think I deserved alittle more of an appropriate break-up after such a long relationship. But whatever, life goes on. I ended up meeting this wonderful girl after that and god did we fall in love. I mean, head-over-heels, no-one-else-on-this-planet, in love. It was unbelieveable and wonderful. But as they say, all good things must come to an end and after a tragic accidental pregnancy and horrible miscarriage, nothing was the same. We ended up only being together for about 9 months but they were the greatest 9 months of my life. Swear. She eventually ended up going back with an ex of hers and i wish them the best. We tried to be friends after the break up but nothing was the same and it's prolly best we don't see each other. No need to bring up old pain, ya know? Moving on, I didn't see anyone for a couple of months and had some real trouble doing anything while trying to get over my ex. boohoo, I know. I'm rambling, sorry. But so I started seeing this girl and god, what a nutcase. The only thing we had in common was our divine love for sex and exhibitionism. We were the perfect match when it came to humping. She was light and flexible and I'm fairly strong and well, we had lots of fun, till she cheated on me. That killed that off cause i learned after my first relationship that once a cheat, always a cheat, so I kicked the girl to the curb and went on my way. Now all that bs brings me to the whole point of the story. I never really go into detail about how I honestly tried to do everything in my power to give my girlfriends what they wanted, within reason, of course. I bought flowers, took them out to dinner, blah blah blah. Anyway, I meet this girl at Noctourne (for anyone who doesn't know, it's goth night at Shampoo in Philly). She is extremely sexy and I'm amazed she was interested in me at all. Sorry, I still have some self-esteem issues to work out. But this started out all wrong. i didn't have a car at the time because my Jeep had blown an engine and I was in the process of putting a new one in at the time that we met. So transportation was a royal bitch. it was about 2 hours by SEPTA for us to see each other. And when we were together, we really couldn't go out and do much cause again transportation was limited. And through all of that, she didn't mind really. But about a month and a half into the relationship, we finally became intimate and everything fell apart after that. I seemingly (I say seemingly cause I honestly don't remember), mentioned something about my exs in a conversation after sex which royally ticked her off but she didn't let me know. Then something else happened at the club on Wednesday that basically drove the nail into the coffin. Her ex was supposed to show up and when I showed up, she was unreceptive and was constantly glancing around so i figured she was looking for her ex so i backed off and hung out with my friends while she did her thing. BIG MISTAKE!!!!!!! She again did not say anything but kept it inside. Finally, this past Friday I called and she told me she was out with her friends so I said okay and I love you. I got no reply, which honestly hurt after we had said I love you to each other so much in the past. I figured out something was wrong there and we broke up the next day. I honestly look at it as my fault and i look at it as the first time i've royally fucked up in a relationship. I'm sorry for what happened but the past is the past and I am now moving on.

    Well, that's my whole relationship past. Sorry if it was boring and long but hell, it's my journal, ain't it? Moving on. I hate labels and don't label people myself. People are just themselves. They shouldn't be catergorized and genred. But for all of you people that need those labels and words that help describe who some one is, I'm prolly best catergorized as a metal-head. I dunno. I dunno if that even fits me. But whatever. I have to go cause it's 1:20 AM and I have to get up for work in about 4 1/2 hours. So until next time, always stay single, see doubles, and sleep triple.

    Current Mood: hyper
    Current Music: OTEP - Filthee
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