| lost |
[03 Sep 2008|11:10pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 confused |
] |
i really don't know what to do with you.
i missed you all summer.
and then you come back.
and i don't know what i want.
it's kind of like you pushed me away
when you wanted to and you came
back when you wanted to but i really
can't decide if i want to come back or not.
all the time apart really tore me up
and now as i try to sew the pieces back
together, it just doesnt seem worth it anymore.
there's pieces missing. and it doesnt feel complete.
i wish, you have no idea how much i wish...
i wish i could just take this feeling and just
throw it away. but this feeling...it's hurt. and pain.
the pain of being evicted from your life.
without a reason.
the hurt of seeing you move on with your life.
i know i should let you say your peace.
but i feel like that wouldn't be enough
to make this work again. i want it to.
but its not fair to me. i need to be
fair to myself for once. i know this isn't just
you. i could've tried harder. but i felt like
if i tried too hard, it would push you more.
and plus, it didnt seem like my first attempt
was going anywhere. and i had high doubts
a second attempt would either. i really am lost
i could have the friend i've been awaiting to
hear from back in my life again. but i truely
think i'm scared. scared to be pushed aside
to accomidate to another, better friend than i am.
i've been missing you.
&my heart says let you in
but my mind keeps saying
not. again.
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