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school's almost here! [12 Aug 2003|12:38am]
[ mood | blank ]
[ music | catch 22 ]

i'm so nervous about school!!! plus the fact that i stay up all night cause i'm not tired at all so i try staying up 24 hours so then i'll be tired at night but i can't do it, and when my parents try waking me up early in the morning so that i get used to it, i always fall right back asleep...hm, so...oh! i had this fucked up dream again...i was inside this mansion and i was with 5 friends -who don't exist in real life- and we were flying around on broomsticks, then i got into a serious sword fight with a pirate and i killed him! k i'm done...

3 (: made me smile :) star help me

haven't written in a while! [09 Aug 2003|01:34am]
[ mood | awake ]
[ music | coldplay ]

sorry!! well i haven't been getting around to updating -obviously- but that last week and two days i was at my sister's house, it was pretty fun...we celebrated at her house for getting this new job and there were so many people over and my sister and one of her roomates didn't even know like 5 of them, but it was still fun...one of them was really pissing me off, i had this shirt on that had a beaver on it that says "Dam!" so he was calling me "dam" the whole night and asking me if i spelled it correctly it was really annoying, although i was drunk, i was a smart drinker thanks to my sister's tips...right before we started drinking we had dinner so my stomach was full and i was drinking slow, i had a lot, but i did it slow...first i had orange juice mixed with peachtree shnapps, then some lemonade mixed with raspberry pucker, i had like a total of 3 shots of apple pucker, then my own favorite drink, mountain dew with bacardi, usually i use 7up or sprite, but i found it was better with mountain dew, when it's mixed it tastes like surge only with alchohol...the next day i thankfully didn't have a hang over, all cause i ate before i drank and i did everything slowly, and i didn't have that much to the point where i was really drunk cause i could remeber a lot...well the next night i had a few shots with my sister's ex-boyfriend john...well i completly forgot about all the tips my sister gave me and i didn't eat for a few hours when i had the shots, so drinking on a very empty stomach gave me a hang over the next day which surprised me since i only had a couple shots, but like i said, i hadn't ate anything in a while before that...it was bad, i puked twice, once on the side of the highway and then once at meijer, my sister was buying meat at the deli for a family reunion that day and i couldn't stand the smell of it so i went to drink water cause water helps on a hang over then i felt really sick again, so i had to run to my sister telling her i was going to the bathroom and ran to the bathrooms, seeming like i was going to blow chunks any second, then right when i got to the door these two ladies got infornt of me walking SO SLOW, so when we i got in i ran past them for the large handicap bathroom and puked some more, people were talking in there then when they heard me puking it went silent, i found it kind of funny, still gross tho...both times i threw up that day it came out of my nose, oh god it's so nasty, cause then all i could smell was the foul remains of my breakfast mixed with the acids in my stomach -like the detail i put in that one?- next my sister took me to steak n' shake where she bought ice cream for me, she said it always helped her even when she had really bad hang overs so now i see is the best cure cause you need sugar in your stomach and ice cream just so good, so after that i felt a lot better...we went to the reunion, wasn't all too fun considering i didn't know anybody there except my sister and her grandma and grandpa angell -we're half sisters- after that we went to the fair with shasta's two roomates -elizabeth and matt, they're together- then some friends of theirs named dan and amber -also together- at first i thought amber was kind of a -ok i hate this term but it's the first thing that comes to mind- "goody goody" cause she was complaining and her white button-up shirt was dirty and i didn't see anything on it, but later i sadly got to see her real side, a rude and severly annoying, obnoxious dumbass...i'm serious, she has to be the most immature person for her age, like everytime she said something i wanted to scream at her, she's one of those people that does stupid things on purpous for attention and laughs, everyone else seemed to think she was funny and thought that her stupidity was even more hillarious, i just sat there grinding my teeth, cause nothing pisses me off more then obnoxious people desperatly seeking attention...that night i was eating one of those sour apple suckers covered in carmel, then the carmal got stuck between two of my teeth which pulled my last baby tooth out a little, and she thought it was the funniest thing that i still had a baby tooth even tho her boyfriend dan said he had one 'til he was 14 or 15, but she would not let it go, she kept saying i was just a kid and all that annoying shit, so later we went on one ride that goes in a circle forwards then backwards whilegoing over little hill-like things, it's one of the few spinning rides i can handle, so anyway, after she got off she puked, more like spit out chunky stuff, and was making a HUGE deal out of it, i had to bite my tounge cause i was about to just split and tell her these words which raced throught my throbbing brain "it's sad that me being a 'kid', i don't bitch about puking like you keep rambling on about, even tho all you seemed to do was blow chunky water out of your mouth AND i'm smart enough not to waste fifteen-fucking-dollars on a cheap carny coin game" like she kept saying "wasn't that so funny when i puked at the fair?!" ok, i never bragged about puking that day which i see no reason to anyway - even tho i went into full details about it above, but i'm not like proud like she seemed to be- but she would not drop it, it was really really irratating...later on me and amber decided to race rock climbing, it was kinda hard since the the little rock things sticking out were wet from the downpoor earlier, but i got to the top, i beat amber, since she got like four feet off the ground and stopped, so i won this huge flower thing, even tho it's kinda ugly, i'm happy i got to the top, and like 7 people were clapping when i got to the top, haha, nice way to bring up my spirits...ok, so the next day...jeez i can't remember what happend from sunday till thursday, we didn't do much between those days. on thursday we went to the fair again, this time it was shasta, her boyfriend kevin, shane and his girlfriend kristen and i...it was pretty fun, when we went on the ferris wheel, these 3 guys -aged from the looks of 12-15- were in the car-thingy before us, and they were spitting down onto people walking when we were around the top and a little of it got on my brother's arm, omg shane was so pissed at them, he was like "which one of you just spit on me?" and they didn't say anything or look at him so then he started yelling "which one you little fuckers just fucking spit on me?! i'm gonna fucking kick your ass when we get off this fucking ride!" and the oldest was like "none of us were spiiting" and shane said "i saw all you fuckers spitting and one you got spit on my fucking arm so don't fucking lie we all saw you fucking spitting and i'm seriously going to fuck you up when this fucking ride is over" and the youngest one looked so terrifeid, it was funny, then we got off it the same time they did and shane like marched after them and got right up in the oldest one's face grabbed his shoulder and was seriously screaming at him, oh it was crazy, then kristen got mad at shane for over reacting about it, but everything was fine by the end of the night...next we split up, kevin and shasta went on one ride then shane kristen and i got in line for another one, there was this group of really really loud 15-16 year olds behind us, it was really bad, like they were screaming out random shit and being really weird, then like this group in front of us kept bringing like a total of 6 more people over to them to stand in line, we were inline for a while but it was so worth it, it was awsome, it's hard to describe, but i'll give it a go anyway : theres two seeats back to back in one car on each end of this really long enormous beam, and it flips around and the seats your in flips around too to, it like tosses you around like a fucking raggedy anne doll. we were at at the end when was sticking up in the air for a really long time, they were putting other people in the car at the other end so i was sitting next to kristen and she was like flipping out since we were sitting up there for a while and it's so fucking high up there. shane was sitting by a girl from the loud group, i'm kinda glad that there was someone sitting with shane, cause kristen's weight and mine combined is more then what shane weighs alone so if he were by himself the car would be off balenced so kristina and i'd be facing straight down and that we be scary as fuck, especially since we were up there for a long time. it was the biggest thrill i've gotton from a fair ride. after that we left the fair and got home around midnight. i watched a movie in shasta's room, but she fell asleep and i was wide awake, so elizabeth took me to the 145 resturaunt -a truck stop/family resteraunt, good food- and we met her sister sandy there, so we ate talked then left, i was full so i felt tired, but still didn't sleep at all, maybe for a half hour between the time my sister got up at 5:00 in the morning till the time she was ready to leave -she's quick in the morning, we definetly don't share that characteristic- so then we went to meijer -she works there, but is leaving since she got her new job- and meijer is about a half hour away from her house so my mom met us there to pick me up and i got back home around 6:00, wide awake and i got the news that my grandparents and annoying cousin were comming over today, then i took a nice hot bath which was really relaxing, next i took a nap, vacumed the floor, took a shower, relatives showed up, we watched movies, everybody went to bed, and here i am...ok, so that's what's new!

3 (: made me smile :) star help me

this sucks [24 Jul 2003|10:02pm]
[ mood | confused ]
[ music | dashboard confessional ]

ok, for the last two days, i've been trying to find a word that explains my feelings, cause i don't like going into detail when people ask about it so i need a word that would just sum it all up... maybe you could help... see, what i want soo bad right now is just to be in a relationship, i can't stand being alone, it's kinda like the opposite of lust, i'd like the person for who they are and love being w/them... and every guy i know in our grade is looking only for some action and it pisses me off... i don't mean to sound corny...oh fuck it, if i do, oh well cause this is serious to me, i wish i wasn't so young, cause i want to experience falling in love, and i doubt that'll happen. i'm sick of this shit, all guys my age -ok, not all, but all the ones i know- are just looking for pussy in a relationship, it pisses me off like nothing else, i mean, why is that even important? why is it necessary? am i growing up too fast? or have i already? i want to say more about what i'm feeling, but i can't put it all into words, bottom line... hormones suck

help me

dammit, i knew this depressing day would come... [23 Jul 2003|10:44pm]
[ mood | lonely ]
[ music | well obviously that song right there ]

i just realized that this song is exactly how i feel right now...sadly...

"On My Own" - The Used

see all those people on the ground
wasting time
i try to hold it all inside
but just for tonight
the top of the world
sitting here wishing
the things I've become
that something is missing
maybe I...
but what do I know

and now it seems that i have found
nothing at all
I wanna hear your voice out loud
slow it down, slow it down
without it all
I'm choking on nothing
it's clear in my head
and I'm screaming for something
knowing nothing is better than knowing it all

on...my...own...
on...my...own...
on...my...own...
on...my...own...

(on my own)
(on my own)

without it all
I'm choking on nothing
it's clear in my head
and I'm screaming for something
knowing nothing is better than knowing it all

on...my...own...
on...my...own...
on...my...own...



note::this isn't part of the song
it truely sucks being alone

1 (: made me smile :) star help me

degrassi! [23 Jul 2003|04:56pm]
[ mood | gloomy ]
[ music | "buried myself alive" -the used ]

haha, yeah degrassi is lame but so funny...


What guy on Degrassi:  The Next Generation are you compatible with?
Craig Manning


What guy on Degrassi: The Next Generation would you be compatible with?
brought to you by Quizilla

1 (: made me smile :) star help me

waking up early is betta then sleepin in fo sho lol [23 Jul 2003|02:36pm]
[ mood | happy ]
[ music | brand new ]

so latly i've been waking up between 5:30-7:00 in the morn, it's really a lot better then sleeping in until 3:00 in the afternoon, keeps me in a good mood! yep yep yep... i haven't done much latly...ok this is sad, i don't know what to talk about, i guess i could talk about my crazy dream last night...ok, so i was at the high school, and i was weairng this red jumpsuit, and i was walking towards my bus, then everyone just stopped talking and moving and were staring at me, it was odd, then i got on my bus and two of my friends were on there, so i sat with one of them and she gave me her yearbook and i started chewing on it, then i went home and they came to my house and we were playing with this white duck i had then some guy from aflack showed up saying the duck belonged to them then we got in a fight and i trashed his aflack mobile then he left...

1 (: made me smile :) star help me

baking cookies... [14 Jul 2003|02:16am]
[ mood | thirsty ]
[ music | money(that's what i want)*it's from Empire Records* ]

ok, so shannon and i decided to make some chocolate chip cookies, but we were having troubles with the mix stuff, so then i through flower in her face, so it went from a flower were, to a little cookie dough flick in the face here and there, then to cookie dough in our hair, then se found and thing to put in eachother's hair, is put lotion in hers, she put hand soap in mine, then we both got some shaving cream....wow, what a blast lol so we ended up ruining the cookie dough anyway...so don't ever bake cookies with us ;-)

1 (: made me smile :) star help me

see for yourself... [13 Jul 2003|02:39am]
[ mood | bored ]


Funny Asian Man


What's Your Personality Type?
brought to you by Quizilla

crazy...murder
I have problems that I can't work through with
people like YOU in my life!


What Less Than Legal Act are YOU? (includes pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla


ah!


You Have the Power of Teleportation!


What's Your Magic Power?
brought to you by Quizilla

um...cool?

help me

affection...i like it [12 Jul 2003|03:07am]
[ mood | jealous ]
[ music | sound of me screaming at myself in anger! roar! ]

playing footsie
footsie - you like to goof around and laugh with
the people you care about.


What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

um...cool...i guess...?

help me

check this out... [11 Jul 2003|04:02am]
[ mood | accomplished ]
[ music | rx bandits....hell yeah zac ]

alright, jordan and i have decided that we are the coolest people alive.

oh yeah


why is this?
well, we were talking and it's impossible to answer the question "who is your favorite band?" because they're are too many good ones right now :-) i mean, when i try answering the question, i name atleast 4 cause i love too many!

horray for us

help me

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