4:06PM - If I had a chainsaw right now

The dude would not have a head.

If I had bus... he'd be a human pancake.

I want to point out that I hate this man with every fiber of my being. From the skin you physically see to the small atoms that make up my inner tissues. To the muscles in my body to the blood pumping through my veins.

In reality I do not want him dead. But I do want him FIRED. Thing is if I talked to the right people I probably could do it... problem is with that, I'd get fired too.

4 Words: I hate my boss.

(Pardon goddess of the night...)

1:34AM

You know, there's elements in TV Shows I like, and others I hate. Pointless, senseless violence is one of the things I hate. Randomly going upstairs I seen 2 men beating a 70 something year old man up for no reason. People wonder why others do stuff like that... yet the answer is right in front of them.

Yeah, there's violent people in the world. There are EVIL people in the world. But showing stuff like that just for the heck of it is so annoying to me. Plus there's always a factor people don't consider... violence begets violence in most cases... when I have violence in my stories, that IS the point of it. How pointless it is and evil begets evil.

Want a really big example of it? Kill Bill. Those movies are nothing but violence. But her violence and revenge was driven by an act of pure... disgusting cruelty that in the end was futile because the driving force of it was found to be obsolete.

This was on Walker, Texas Ranger by the way.

And I need to make a new Gackt layout... this one is all... hard to read stuff on and everything

Current mood: annoyed

Current music: Amazon Pyre ~ Xena

(Pardon goddess of the night...)

5:24PM

WWWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYY is he down here?

(Pardon goddess of the night...)

11:21PM - For some reason this song is really speaking to me tonight on multiple levels...

Sparkling angel I believe
You were my savior in my time of need.
Blinded by faith I couldn't hear
All the whispers, the warnings so clear.
I see the angels,
I'll lead them to your door.
There's no escape now,
No mercy no more.
No remorse cause I still remember

The smile when you tore me apart.
You took my heart,
Deceived me right from the start.
You showed me dreams,
I wished they'd turn into real.
You broke a promise and made me realize.
It was all just a lie.

Sparkling angel, I couldn't see
Your dark intentions, your feelings for me.
Fallen angel, tell me why?
What is the reason, the thorn in your eye?
I see the angels,
I'll lead them to your door
There's no escape now
No mercy no more
No remorse cause I still remember

The smile when you tore me apart
You took my heart,
Deceived me right from the start.
You showed me dreams,
I wished they'd turn into real.
You broke a promise and made me realize.
It was all just a lie.
Could have been forever.
Now we have reached the end.

This world may have failed you,
It doesn't give the reason why.
You could have chosen a different path in life.

The smile when you tore me apart.
You took my heart,
Deceived me right from the start.
You showed me dreams,
I wished they'd turn into real.
You broke a promise and made me realize.
It was all just a lie.
Could have been forever.
Now we have reached the end.

(1 Those who slew thy virgin knight... | Pardon goddess of the night...)

7:51AM

I managed to somehow sleep for 12 hours... in addition to just laying there for another 2 to 3. >.> Yeah, I was tired. Like to the point I was getting sick when I went to bed for a "nap". It just amuses me how when I take a sleep binge no one tries to get me up. Of course it could be dangerous if you did, considering I'll hate you for the rest of the day... but anyway...

Work has been insane all week because of the damage the city has taken from the hurricane winds we had here. Every day lines of cars... and most of it is people who are coming there just to go someplace with power. >.< I can see a mall or something, but a hospital?

Anyway, Ramadan is almost over, so maybe these guys I work with will be back to normal soon. One thing I've learned is that when men fast they get weird.

I wonder what I should do today? I know I should write at least some part of the day, and I wanted to go somewhere. I haven't written anything in weeks. Been wanting to, just haven't been doing it. It's driving me nuts. What is it that is holding me back? I have no flipping idea. I keep wishing I could just have some type of program that could describe the images and conversations in my head with no fault, and I wouldn't have to literally find the words to put it down. I'd have 7 books written by now if I could do that.

Right now I'm also torn between getting the Red vs Blue collection or the Bubblegum Crisis collection. They're both basically the same price.

Current mood: groggy

Current music: crickets chirping

(Pardon goddess of the night...)

10:41PM - I've decided non-chalent things can be x posted on my other journals so *xpost*

Today was evil-ness. The fun with downed trees and power lines and testing your knowledge of how to get to various places was again put on the line. Back was hurting and still is right now. Pinched nerve acting up. Also being feeling sort of nauseated like I normally do from it.

Didn't sleep even one hour last night. Like 10 minutes, and I had some weird dream. The only dream I really remember of late was the one where I was walking with some guy and it was in the woods and we were heading down a hill and the guy was freaking out saying that we shouldn't go down there because there was something out there that wanted to get us, and of course just then we hear some strange howls. But for some reason, even though it freaked me out a little bit I was still determined to take that road because it was the only way to get where ever we were trying to go. Of course I woke up before I seen the whole thing. I always find dreams with forests in them intriguing to me. I'm never afraid of the forest itself... it always seems to be the outside dangers that enter the forest. I mean I have had several dreams where I actually run into a forest in order to seek refuge from harm. It never makes sense... but in the forest it's like I know where I am going even if any other time I don't.

Anyway, onward to the woes of today. I get dressed and head out a little later than I would have liked and I find my car is dead. After fighting with it for several minutes, I have to call in late for work and get the parents up to take me to work. Afterwards we found out it was merely the battery. More on that later.

The roads to work were all pretty much blocked and only the hospital itself had power. Then when I get there my fellow pompous ass snob co-worker, is being a weirdo again today. What is it with this Ramadan thing that is making these Muslims nuts. So you're fasting. I don't care... Quit using it as an excuse for being an idiot. It was also during the course of this day that I realized I really do not like this co-worker. Not because he isn't nice to me and I can't work with him... He's just one of those people that if I was to deal with him outside work, I'd end up getting angry and probably slugging him.

Then I had a safety training thingy that didn't tell me anything I already didn't know, except to make me more leary of going to doctors and stuff. All it talked about was the mistakes doctors and hospitals made. Enough to make you freaked out. Since I was already tettering on the edge of a panic attack by this time (shaking hands and feeling nervous are some of the first classic signs of it coming on for me), the stories didn't help. But at least the time out away from the work I do, did. The boss was an odd one today too. He's telling me to clean up the leaves and branches in the way... but there's already someone there with a machine to do that with. Fortunately, I didn't have to see him anymore today. The less I see of him the better in my opinion.

Anyway, also during the break of this class thing I had to go to, I managed to spill a whole canister of half and half all over a cafeteria counter. Can we say there were divine influnences telling me I shouldn't have gone?

Anyway, after I got back it got slightly better but more confusing. I was able to go to a different location that is more low key for an hour in addition to just running podium (handling the paperwork and money) at my location. Realized the Chinese food guy was back. For some reason he was being extra specially nice to me today. >.> But then he was the last time. Most everyone else he was just sort of handing them their food and shoving them off unless he knew them. Ever tried having someone hold a conversation with you while they're cooking with knives and stuff? O.o You keep standing there wondering if they'll whack a finger off or something.

So, after getting that on the way back from a run I was apparently called by the office. Seems Shirwa called off or something and they wanted me to work. Um, shall we say no? No car, no way to get home, etc. Anyway... we didn't know all this until viola I get back to Main and I'm on podium again after Thomas leaves. Apparently some idiot told them I was staying when I said I wasn't. So, I spent the hour I was back there arguing with a bunch of men about the fact that I already said no. I don't have a car, so I can't. I have to go when my mother comes for me. Basically, it was probably fun cause no one knows how to close out in the night for Main or run podium for the night crew, except me and Shirwa. Yeeeeah, makes me wonder what happened. Anyway, when mom came she had my car. o.o

Found out as I mentioned earlier, it was the battery. Apparently the battery was so corrioded that they had to clean it off just to get a reading on it. It was all green and nasty. Basically the theory is that it was the original battery for the car. So, that was fixed. The car had been acting up for over a week and half now, but because dad was having so many problems with his car lately, I was trying to wait until I got paid next week before taking it in. The car had other ideas I guess.

Anyway, got home, ate and called Kitty to make sure she was ok. Then went to bed until like 8pm. >.> Then started looking around for a dress or something to wear to PMX and/or Ohayocon. I seriously want this. I just don't know if I want to spend $60+ on a dress. I really wish I knew how to sew clothes better. I still don't even know if I'll be going to PMX. My boss is still being an idiot. I also counted out my TAP hours, and I won't have ANY left by the time PMX is over. So, when I go to Ohayocon, I can't pre-reg cause I'm not sure exactly if I'll be able to go on Friday. Well all the good stuff is at night anyway. Now that I've rambled about stuff no one really cares about, I just basically came to the conclusion that I should just start posting on my private journal(s). I'm in one of those moods where I wanna talk it out, but don't feel comfortable with people knowing what I am talking about exactly. One or two people possibly. But not... a lot. Then of course you worry that you'll say something the wrong way. So... that's where it becomes a private journal.

Current mood: anxious

Current music: Beautiful Alone - Weiss Kreuz OST

(Pardon goddess of the night...)

9:30PM - I went to Middle Earth and all I got was this lousy ring...

I went to Chillicothe for the weekend. More like 4 days. I'm sure they were all ready to get rid of me by then. I do thank Becky and her parents for putting up with me, feeding me and letting me sleep as long as I wanted for 4 days. Played games with Becky and also played with birdies and ferrets at Petland while there, and I have the scratches on my arms to prove it. We watched Lain on Saturday. Talked about one screwed up anime. Reminds me of Perfect Blue.

Today was spent at a local festival. We got funnel cake. <3 The rest was spent watching Escaflowne because I suck and never seen it. Then the power went out and after several minutes of that, I decided it was a sign for me to hit the road. That's when the real fun began. >.> Shall we say wind storm from hell? The whole way was spent dodging flying objects and trees in the road. Also, trying to keep the car actually on the road was... fun... Almost got blown off a couple of times. Get into Columbus and my knowledge of how to get home was tested since I had to take FOUR, yes FOUR, different routes that could lead to my house due downed power lines, whole trees uprooted, vehicles which had accidents and things such as this.

Get home and it was like I didn't leave. They were like "hurricane in texas is the size of cali." So, went out and untangled the dog's chain (this seems to be his new game which is getting annoying because I don't know how he does it), and finally about half an hour ago sat down to eat.

We tried calling out to my aunts in Texas, but the lines are disconnected, so maybe they're part of the evacuees. Hopefully they're ok. Hopefully my Kitty is ok too. Power was still out when I called her. I should have kidnapped her. :P

Current mood: lonely

Current music: Desert Love ~Dune OST

(1 Those who slew thy virgin knight... | Pardon goddess of the night...)

8:52PM

Those who have commented on my entries:

Prepare to be spammed with replies.

(1 Those who slew thy virgin knight... | Pardon goddess of the night...)

1:00PM - IMVU (I forgot I had an account there.

Does anyone have IMVU? Anyone want invited to it?

I recently recalled having an account there and decided to start playing with it again. So, if anyone wants an invite to join or anything let me know. Those that have an account my user name is tamashiinouta.

Current mood: nostalgic

(Pardon goddess of the night...)

7:51PM - I hate it when I'm like this... I'm sure everyone does too...

Another aimless day
Another useless night
I want peroxide hair
I want some neon light
I got a new life waiting
I can't wait to begin it
The thing that gets me down
To be young in this town
Is there's no future in it

I want a fine perfume
A powder blue corvette
If there's a slower death
Than living here and now they haven't found it yet
I need a man who knows what I'm really worth
And I don't give a damn about life after death
But I got to get some proof
That there's life after birth

Current mood: restless

(Pardon goddess of the night...)

1:41PM

I really should be writing at the moment. But I'm hungry. >.> Wonder what I should work on until tonight? Onyx? The Red Choker? Comfort? Fanfiction....?

gah too many choices. Would help if someone would tell me which one they want the most...

but then 2 of those are on the jade journal.

Current mood: mischievous

Current music: Father Figure ~ George Michael

(Pardon goddess of the night...)

8:23PM

I hate it when I just sit here staring at a blank entry space with so much to say, but with the words not coming out.

(Pardon goddess of the night...)

5:12PM - Yeah, I got bored.

Morrigan's ABC's

A is alpha - something most men only wish they'd be
B is for beta - something most men really are to me
C is for the cat which I am the most like.
D is for depressing on Sunday night.
E is for the electric chill I get when I look in those precious eyes.
F is for a censored word that most people say anyway because it seems less dirty.
G is Gackt plain and clear.
H is for "how are you" and for hypocritical for they mean both.
I is another word for me.
J is for Jaguar - one of the most awesome cars I've seen.
K is just "okay" without the O.
L is for love - the one thing none of us can get enough of no matter how many times it kicks us.
M is a drink with a shot of flavor... have one on me - a margarita.
N is "No" the phrase a woman probably should learn the most.
O is just another form of "K", unless you add "pal" and is multi-faceted gem anyway.
P is for perfect something I strive but never will be.
Q is for a letter that never is used enough, even by me.
R is the beginning of my real first name. Also, for red, my favorite color by the way.
S is for several words some dirty, some mean, some sweet and some keen.
T is a drink.... sometimes with lemon, sometimes with sugar, or best of all with a little honey to sweeten the tongue.
U is for umbrella - no I don't know why.
V is for vendetta... a movie I like but wish was less sad.
W is "we" aka you and me.
X is where the spot is marked, and where ever whatever the treasure I seek is. Supposedly.
Y is for golden yellow - or a color of a phoenix with it's fire.
Z is just the end the of the alphabet to me.

(1 Those who slew thy virgin knight... | Pardon goddess of the night...)

8:50PM

I now have proof I'm being stalked by Kiwamu. :P He subscribed to my MySpace blog.

(Pardon goddess of the night...)

6:31PM

Hmmm... I think filters will be coming soon. LJ is annoying me again. IJ is there but... I don't know, still needs broken in. so we'll see...

Not to mention I post here anyway a lot (private entries mostly) lately.

(Pardon goddess of the night...)

10:49PM

Well since Blurty is being a woman, and on it's period no less, I can't trust it with the long winded lala I was going to maybe yap on about.

So, summary: I wanted to talk to that damn idiot today about - things. But then either kept chickening out, or kept getting interrupted. Blast the fates.

(Pardon goddess of the night...)

10:48PM - *pokes blurty*

I see Blurty is on it's menstrual again...

(2 Those who slew thy virgin knight... | Pardon goddess of the night...)

3:28PM

Well for like a week and a half maybe 2 weeks now, I've been dealing with a Gingivostomsis outbreak. What is that you ask? Cold sores IN MY MOUTH AND ON MY THROAT. What is another more entertaining thing to call it? A herpes outbreak. :P What? That's what cold sores or fever blisters and canker sores ARE silly. Thing is almost all the American population has it. So, no big deal. It's not herpes herpes. What I have is what you get when it's decided to run a muck cause the conditions are right... it's also what little babies deal with when they first get "infected" with the cold sore virus.

I've been stressed out due to mom's health and my job. I've worked myself past my endurance level daily for over a month now. I've been out in the SUNLIGHT (big no no for any born vampire) and since sunlight bothers me anyway... heh. Add in it's my time of the month and viola.

Anyway, all that appears to be left to heal is my tongue. For a couple days there it looked like a rug of white... fluff was on it. Ewwww.... Now it's steadily coming off every time I brush to reveal my lovely sores leftovers.

I've worked on Spirits Love Score a Hyde and Gackt story. I've been feeling Onyx for a while now... but I've been... holding off on it. I don't know why. I should just give into the muses. The Maia chapter is at that point where it'll go fast if I get time to write it.

Between mom being on the computer all the time, and when she's not demanding I look stuff up for her, and if she's not Shirwa (black Hyde) is. LEARN TO USE THE INTERNET PEOPLE. GEEZ. Or in Shirwa's case, learn to read English. I already told the punk I'd help him to learn to read better, so he'd stop pestering me to help him. >.> Always amusing at work when me and the other American dude start talking... they have no idea where we're at with the conversation 2 seconds into it. So, they get mad at us demanding to know what we're talking about, yet when we yell at them for having half hour discussions in Somali they get offended.

And I have 3 words to say about my boss. I hate him. That sums it up. I always feel like I'm under survelliance with him. He's just creepy. I never really had an inclination to actually go to Japan or China even until I started working where I am now. How can I put this? I don't hate my job... or my co-workers... just this man makes it hell for me to want to go each day. What that has to do with my inclination to go to Asia makes no sense, but he makes me want to go to China. How many people can say that's how badly they want away from their boss? Besides I wanna work for a Japanese company. Can I work for Gackt pleeeeeease? He's weird eccentric but at least he's my kind of weird eccentric. Plus he doesn't make you feel like you're going to end up getting tied to a chair with a cop beating you with various heavy objects every time he looks at you or talks to you, or doesn't creep you when he smiles.

And I have a confession to make in a friends only post. Anyone wanna act as priest? ¬¬ Ahem...

My period was also 2 days late. And now it decided it wants to kill me with cramps and aches and pains and weird dreams and sores in my mouth and increased unfulfilled sexual needs... and misery and... hormonal imbalances which make me go into fits of just crying for no reason. It's a pain in the ass. WHERE'S EVE? SHE AND I HAVE AN UNFINISHED CONVERSATION TO TAKE CARE OF. It all centers around the pains I am currently experiencing, a certain piece of fruit on a certain tree in the garden and the fact that the SNAKE IS TALKING. HEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOO....

Sorry had to get that out.

Current mood: moody

Current music: Crucify My Heart ~ Lullacry

(1 Those who slew thy virgin knight... | Pardon goddess of the night...)

5:02PM

The SEME or UKE Quiz created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as The Breaker SEME You are the most imaginative, helpful, and strong-hearted SEME out there. You can be quiet and helpful at the same time which is a rarity. You're good at listening to others and you don't deny their ideas. One thing you can't stand is seeing someone sad, crying, or otherwise unhappy. Those who think you're shy aren't always the most right but it's true you don't need to talk much unless you have something important to say. You would be paired with the Sorrowful UKE because everyone needs a shoulder to cry on and you're just the guy/gal for the job. It's best to avoid the Homicidal SEME but even if you do that it's easy for someone as calm and helpful as you to get mixed up in the schemes of the certain Devilish UKE. You are truly best placed with the Gentle SEME as a buddy. For my last info, I have to say that you really don't mind and will go with the flow - whatever your partner is into is fine by you but considering who you're best matched with I'd say that they'd be too scared to do anything out of the ordinary. Give them a little nudge to let 'em know it's alright, okay? The Breaker SEME 65% The Sorrowful UKE 65% The Gentle SEME 60% The Optimistic UKE 50% The Homicidal SEME 45% The Devilish UKE 45%

(Pardon goddess of the night...)

12:43AM

(Pardon goddess of the night...)