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.drink my deadly poison.

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Farewell, Blurtians [03 Nov 2003|07:27pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]
[ music | Nite Tide - Evanescence ]

I FINALLY got a deadjournal code so now my journal is there, www.deadjournal.com/users/Paperflowers8. Bye!

PS. And no I don't have an activation code so don't ask.

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i am like, totally, SO proud of myself ohmigosh!! [01 Nov 2003|11:40pm]
[ mood | bored ]
[ music | commercials ]

i got my grades in the mail.

Math - B+
Spanish - A
Science - B
P.E. - A
English - A
World History - B

my GPA is a 3.5. go me. whoop.

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Glimmers of Warmth From The Dryer! [01 Nov 2003|08:32pm]
[ mood | blah ]
[ music | bah humbug! ]

Okay...so much to tell!! Last night was Halloween, obviously, and Ben, being the sweet, caring boy he is cancelled on me 10 minutes before he was supposed to get to my house. So I ended up trick or treating with my sister and her son for like 15 minutes until he got sick of it (he is only 3, after all).

So then my dad and I are driving to Hollywood Video to get a horror movie to watch and I ask if we can drive by Justin's house since Ben and I were probably going to walk there. I convince my dad to drive by, and Justin and his little brother and all these guys are standing outside in their costumes and I'm like, "Oh crap!" LOL cuz I didn't really, um, expect them to actually be out there! I yell at my dad to drive faster so they wouldn't see me but their street is a dead end so we had to drive BACK past them but they still didn't notice me. And then I go, "Drive by them again!!" Hehe silly me. And so he does, and this time Justin looks right at me, and I'm like oh shit! So we drive up their street and turn around AGAIN so it's dead end and I make my dad pull over to say hi...cuz it'd be kinda weird if we just drove past them 4 times without saying anything, wouldn't it?

So we pull over and Jon, Justin's little brother, yells, "Ethan!! Amanda's here!" Ethan is a couple houses away with his friends and everyone starts shouting stuff at him, telling him to come over and say hi and stuff. It was a bit, er, awkward lol especially since my dad was like sitting next to me! And my dad wouldn't let me stay or anything so we drove off...teehee. The guys were staring after me like wtf just happened??

And then my dad and I rented "Frightmare" and "The Life of David Gale". Frightmare was an insanely stupid, cheap, predictable scary movie with the most annoying camera directing I've ever seen. It was really bugging me. Everyone in the movie was really ugly, too, and for some reason that bugged me as well. LOL I'm so shallow!! *SIGH* Oh well. The only part I actually liked was the big sex scence at the end. It was very passionate and sensual! Hahah I'm not perverted really it was just a very nice scene!! Okay then.

Then...I got on AIM...and man. Damn what a night. I started talking to Justin and he told me some really bad stuff about Ethan and how he acts when I'm not around and the shit he says. It REALLY pissed me off. So when Ethan signed on I dumped him and then blocked him =( Yeah...I know...I'm very mature. lol.

Okay....very long story and also very personal so I don't want someone like Kyle or Anthony reading it. No offense guys. lol. But basically...Justin, Ethan, and I talked until 4 in the morning. Ethan and I got back together, and I love him very much...even though sometimes I act like I don't. And...yeah. In a nutshell (hehe great phrase), I love him.

So...we have broken up twice and we are now together again. Heh. 3rd time's the charm?

Anyway...I watched "The Life of David Gale" today. GREAT FUCKIN MOVIE. One of my favorites. The end is so cool/freaky and lucky me being so smart actually got it!! LOL. There are also 2 very good sex scenes in this movie. hahaha why am i so interested in those scenes now?? *blush* little amanda's growing up, huh guys? lol!

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HaPPY HaLLoWeeN!!! [31 Oct 2003|03:55pm]
[ mood | discontent ]
[ music | Tourniquet - Marilyn Manson ]

Ethan and I got back together. We...yeah. That's all I have to say. ;-x

Tonight Ben is coming over to my house at 6. Allison ditched us for Christina, Jocelyn is hanging out with Jazmine, and Ethan is staying over at his house and hanging out with Brad and Nick (ya know...the same friends that made us break up in the first place? Errrg). So...looks like Ben and I shall be all alone. How sad. I don't even have a costume yet...Ben is going as some clown thing. Clowns scare me ;-x Wendy, Luke, Tyler, and Jake are also coming over. For those of you who don't know, Wendy is my sister, Luke is her husband, and Tyler and Jake are their sons (Tyler's 3, Jake's about 5 months old). But they are not going "with us" so to say. Tyler just likes going over to my house because there's this guy named Mike who lives across the street from me, who always sets up this really freaky thing that Tyler loves (he's also terrified of it, but it's fun being scared, isn't it?)

*Sigh*. If it wasn't for Ben this day would be horribly boring. Man.....what am I gonna wear?? LOL...I'm such a procrastinator. Well...better go and get ready. Happy Halloween utter cretins ;)

3 comments|post comment

ahh shit [30 Oct 2003|08:52pm]
[ mood | depressed ]
[ music | quiet discontentment ]

ethan and i broke up. or...i don't know. i broke up with him...but then we talked a while...and now i don't know what's happening. and in the middle of talking he said suddenly "bye" and signed off. i hate it when he does that. it's yet another thing that he does that makes me feel crappy.

man...i have so much i need to say but i don't know how to express what im feeling.

good night.

3 comments|post comment

Good...And Bad...The Essence of Every Man [30 Oct 2003|05:46pm]
[ mood | content ]
[ music | commericals ]

Wellllll hello my lovelies. I saw Scary Movie 3 today with dear old Ben. It was very funny, not as good as the first one, but better then the second, in my opinion. I saw Anthony R and Sydney there, with other people I don't know. Anthony ignored me =( but Sydney said hi which made me feel better =) hehe.

*sigh* I'm having "relationship problems" with Ethan, so to say. I don't know what's up with us. So sad.

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Pondering [29 Oct 2003|09:55pm]
[ mood | anxious ]
[ music | I Want To Know What Love Is - Mike Jones ]

I really want to know what came first, the chicken, or the egg. I mean, seriously!! One would think the egg, because that's where all chickens came from, but where the hell did the egg come from?? So then, the chicken came first. But where did the chicken come from? The egg!! Aahhh!! Seriously. What is the answer to that? And what really bugs me is that I'll NEVER KNOW THE ANSWER. Nobody will ever know. And if we ever do know, it will probably be long after I've died, after people have gotten smarter, etc. Like, in a couple centuries or so. Well, most likely longer then that.

So what I'm really wondering about right now is evolution and such. How DID we get on this freakin planet?? And yeah, I'm not believing that bull about God suddenly creating Adam and Eve out of no where. Sorry..but...can you say impossible? But then...it must be pretty impossible for out of no where, humans to be created. So maybe it WAS Him. But I doubt it. Organized religion is just so annoying! How come most everybody believes in God or some higher power, when He is just the same as believing in Santa Claus? I mean, think about it...how come everybody believes in "Him" even though there's no real proof he exists but nobody believes in poor Santa?? So sad =(

I hope I don't get murdered for saying naughty things about God!!

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my passion poured out like the blood from an artery [29 Oct 2003|07:31pm]
[ mood | numb ]
[ music | Deception - Cruxshadows ]

i slit my wrist and begin to bleed
and in the puddle of blood that will appear
all my problems will disapear

I have done absolutely nothing at all today. Nothing interesting, this is. Because of this stupid fire, school is out until Monday. I cannot believe we are missing one whole week of school...it's like spring break or something. Only people are dying and losing their homes.

I watched "A Walk To Remember" today. Shane West is very attractive. I noticed that Mandy Moore looks like the kind of girl that in a decade or so will be very fat. See, I don't know why I notice this stuff. I just have no life, I suppose. But anyway...it is a very sad, romantic movie. If I had any human emotion I would've cried.

Dinner with my mom and Rick is very uninteresting. Seriously, all they talk about is like...food, work, and the trip they're taking to the desert this weekend. I just witnessed them have a 15 minute conversation about carbohydrates. It was very exciting.

Ben, Allison, Ethan...whoever else...what are we up to for Halloween?? It's in 2 days people...we gotta prepare. I still have to get my costume. Originially I was gonna be Emily Strange but now I think I'll just go as myself. I'm scary enough, right? Well...maybe not myself. But not as official as Emily Strange is, maybe just a gothic fairy or something. Yeah. Dye my hair black. Heh.

I think one of Ethan's friend's like, stole his password. It's very annoying when I try to talk to Ethan and it's Wyatt or someone. Ehh. At least whichever friend it is that stole his password has his profile saying, "I love Amanda Olson so, so much". That's how I tell when it's him or one of his friends...the profiles are different. Me so clever.

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this made me giggle!! teee heeee [29 Oct 2003|05:35pm]
[ mood | amused ]
[ music | Tourniquet - Marilyn Manson ]

Calicutie308: did you know that i may be bisexual?
JustinDS2002: omg stop makin me horney

haha...i was talking to billy tho not justin...so don't think justin's the perverted one. lol jk..they are both my sexy boys that i love =) teeeheee

3 comments|post comment

ehh [28 Oct 2003|08:41pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]
[ music | Rise - The Cult ]

I hate it when I have an away message on on AIM that says "brb," which ya know, stands for BE RIGHT BACK, and Ethan comes on and says, "hey" and my away message says "brb" and then he signs off 10 seconds later before I come back. It's annoying!! It's like, hold on a fuckin second!! Geez.

LOL ok sorry just had to get that off my chest.

still love him tho.

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Fire Days [28 Oct 2003|08:17pm]
[ mood | bored ]
[ music | Deception - The Cruxshadows ]

No school tomorrow again, apparently. oh well, wednesdays suck anyway. but i hope we're back by thursday, cuz i am getting bored sitting at home all day doing nothing.

why do i even bother writing these two sentence updates on my boring life? geez. i'm so lame :'-(

Uhh...my mom just walked in, I turned around and looked at her, and she walked out again looking depressed. Then she called out angerly, "Where's my phone Amanda? Hang it up!" Umm...wtf. God. Bitch. Sigh...after writing that she came in again and forced me to get up and find her phone for her...geez...too lazy to press the fuckin page button? nah, just too stupid...

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son of a nutcracker! [28 Oct 2003|06:58pm]
[ mood | happy ]
[ music | Baby Boy - Beyonce ]

Ethan and I saw School of Rock for the second time today. I think I liked seeing it the second time better then the first time we saw it. Yeah...wink wink nudge nudge. hahaha. right now ben is asking me for "details". lol. silly goose.

mrpotatohead12b: i want details
Calicutie308: lol
mrpotatohead12b: ;-)
Calicutie308: well
mrpotatohead12b: o lala
Calicutie308: we saw school of rock
mrpotatohead12b: yes
Calicutie308: we sat in the back row, in the corner.
mrpotatohead12b: so u didnt need to pay attention *wink*wink*
mrpotatohead12b: o yes
mrpotatohead12b: sly very sly
Calicutie308: lol
Calicutie308: hehehe
Calicutie308: yes
mrpotatohead12b: and then
mrpotatohead12b: were there any oldguys near u
Calicutie308: no
Calicutie308: we were allllll alone.
mrpotatohead12b: or any little kids
mrpotatohead12b: o i c
mrpotatohead12b: what time
Calicutie308: yup
Calicutie308: 2:40
mrpotatohead12b: cool cool
Calicutie308: yep yep
mrpotatohead12b: where did u go
mrpotatohead12b: i feel so dirty
Calicutie308: lol
Calicutie308: why
Calicutie308: we went to grossmont center
mrpotatohead12b: cool
mrpotatohead12b: were there many people there
Calicutie308: yeah
mrpotatohead12b: hehehehehe
mrpotatohead12b: so sat was your line or his
Calicutie308: huh?
mrpotatohead12b: or did u just grap his beautiful face and slobber down
mrpotatohead12b: jk
mrpotatohead12b: kl
mrpotatohead12b: jk
mrpotatohead12b: jk
mrpotatohead12b: hehehehe
mrpotatohead12b: i such a nosy guy
Calicutie308: LOL
Calicutie308: that was gross
mrpotatohead12b: yes it was
mrpotatohead12b: hehehehehehe
mrpotatohead12b: im like that some times
mrpotatohead12b: hehehehe
Calicutie308: yes.
Calicutie308: i know.
mrpotatohead12b: o well wat was his "line"
mrpotatohead12b: u know
mrpotatohead12b: the "line"
Calicutie308: no, i don't know.
Calicutie308: ben,
Calicutie308: we're past lines.
mrpotatohead12b: fine finer
mrpotatohead12b: fine
mrpotatohead12b: but wat was hes previous one BESIDES the one at that beautiful assembly that was a bliss moment in your life wasent it hehehe
mrpotatohead12b: geez im bad
Calicutie308: lol
Calicutie308: yes it was a blissful moment
mrpotatohead12b: yes
mrpotatohead12b: i so nosy
mrpotatohead12b: hehehe
Calicutie308: yes
Calicutie308: but it is alright
Calicutie308: i still love u
mrpotatohead12b: im such a pervert
mrpotatohead12b: thanx
Calicutie308: I'm pasting this conversation onto my journal.
mrpotatohead12b: but u see i need this info for future reference hehehehehe in the FAR future
mrpotatohead12b: o just great
mrpotatohead12b: hehehehe
Calicutie308: lol
mrpotatohead12b: disregaurd EVERYTHING fellow readers
Calicutie308: haha
mrpotatohead12b: ok
Calicutie308: they already know what a weirdo you are anyway weirdo you are anyway
Calicutie308: right guys?
mrpotatohead12b: so just for your info im not ALWAYS this perverted
Calicutie308: uh huh
Calicutie308: sure
mrpotatohead12b: were talking to a computer future addence
mrpotatohead12b: so sad
Calicutie308: lol
Calicutie308: yes
Calicutie308: and only allison reads this too
Calicutie308: maybe
Calicutie308: kyle
Calicutie308: or ethan
Calicutie308: or anthony
mrpotatohead12b: great
Calicutie308: yes i know


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[28 Oct 2003|01:33pm]
[ mood | content ]
[ music | The Authority Song - Jimmy Eat World ]

Jazmine Fort and Joey Labatte are unbelievably cute together! We were in a chatroom, and a lot of drama was happenin, but in the end they worked it out and it's all good. Seriously, it was really emotional in there!! lol. when things finally got worked out, it was so beautiful, joey and i almost started crying!! he loves her sooo much it's not even funny. and i think she hopefully feels the same way!!

Ethan and I are probably gonna see School of Rock again today at 2:40...funness. He's getting his haircut!! omg!! wow. i wonder what he's gonna look like.

I'm a dork, I remember the exact day we officially started going out. Exactly 3 weeks ago. haha it's our anniversary!! hehe jk

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NEVER POINT AT CRAZY PEOPLE!! [28 Oct 2003|08:42am]
[ mood | anxious ]
[ music | Taking Over Me - Evanescence ]

Wellll, no school yesterday or today. I'm hoping there's no school tomorrow either, because I hate hate HATE Wednesdays. But if there is, oh well, at least I'll be able to see everybody and make sure they're okay. Ben and I were talking last night and he said, "I hope that when we go back to school there won't be a bunch of kids crying because they lost their houses and stuff". I hadn't really thought of that, but that could very well happen. Man. So, so depressing.

I want to talk to someone. No one's online. Aaaah.

I woke up really early today for no reason. I should take advantage of no school and sleep in, but I always end up waking up at like 7:30, which is what happened today. Very annoying, because now I have a couple hours to kill and I have absolutely nothing to do. Except write up that story for Mr. Silvestri's class. But ah, screw that.

So I guess I'll just continue to write in here. About nothing. Blah blah blah blah blah.

Ethan thinks I'm about to dump him. :-x

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some of them want to be abused [27 Oct 2003|09:58pm]
[ mood | confused ]
[ music | Sweet Dreams - Marilyn Manson ]

i don't know what to do anymore. ben and allison, u guys know what i'm talking about...i just...i don't know. i love you guys.

My friendship with Anthony is just...over. That's it.

I have such good friends. they all defended me when anthony was being an ass. hehe. lub ya guys. *hugs*

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The Results Are In... [27 Oct 2003|04:01pm]
[ mood | impressed ]
[ music | Trouble - Coldplay ]

Kera sent me a chain letter, and it's actually pretty cool. It said that:

Ethan is the one I love (true).
Allison is the friend I care most about (probably true).
Sierra is the one who knows me best (extremely true).
Ben is my lucky star.
Frank is the one I like but it can't work out (well I don't like Frank [anymore] but I guess that makes sense because it didn't work last year...)
The song "October" by Evanescence is my song for Ethan. (i read the lyrics, yeah, that's pretty good i guess).
The song "Understanding (Wash It All Away)" by Evanescence is my song for Frank (no. just...no).
The song "Lies" by Evanescence tells the most about my mind (yes, i read the lyrics, very true).
The song "Sadie Hawkins Dance" by Reliant K is how I feel about life.


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So Tell Me What's The Price To Pay For Glory? [27 Oct 2003|02:47pm]
[ mood | listless ]
[ music | What It Is To Burn - Finch ]

I want to write something but I don't know how to put my feelings in words. I want to write something deep and meaningful but I guess I'm just too shallow to think of anything like that. So here I am again, writing random nonsense that no one really cares about. Why are you bothering to read this anyway? I am a pointless human being.

My mom started her new job today. She was really nervous last night. But she called me earlier and said things were going great, so that's good. Now that I think about it, I'm not even sure where she's working now. I don't really pay attention when she talks I guess. I'm such a good daughter.

Allison and I were talking earlier about this result I got for a quiz, "How slutty are you?" I got 40% slutty, that said I wasn't a slut yet but guys think I'm easy and whatnot. You can see it on my quiz journal site. But anyway, we were talking about that, and she says guys probably do think I'm easy. Apparently by kissing my boyfriend, other guys seem to think that they could get with me just as easily. So...I have a reputation for being a slut? Hah, maybe I should've listened to that Devilkitten person.

Oh, also, I'm apparently a necrophiliac. Go me.

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Fire [27 Oct 2003|09:31am]
[ mood | sad ]
[ music | What It Is To Burn - Finch (how ironic) ]

Yesterday was soooo weird. Oh my gosh. Well, as you all know, the huggest fire in San Diego history started yesterday, or the night before or something. Everyone I know had to either evacuate or were about to (ready and packed). I had to pack too. My dad, Ethan, Allison, Justin, Frank, Devon, Kyle K. and Anthony R. all had to evacuate. But luckily their houses weren't harmed. The sky was soooo weird omg. It was like a sci fi movie when I woke up.

I just feel so sad =( So many houses are gone forever. And I'm not sure how many people died yet :-( Scary.

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The Ashes Are Staining My Black Jeans!! =( [26 Oct 2003|12:24pm]
[ mood | bored ]
[ music | Break The Chain - Fleetwood Mac ]

Fires suck =(

I'm sooo bored. My mom had to flea bomb our freakin house cuz their are like a gazillion frees infested in there! Eww god. So right now I'm at her boyfriend Rick's house and I'm very very bored. I miss Ethan!!

Jocelyn is AWESOME!! w00t w00t!! lol.

Somebody, anybody, reading this, feel free to call my cell. 302 3746. (Hint: By "somebody, anybody" I mainly mean Ethan. LOL)

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And I Fall Into Myself [25 Oct 2003|09:15pm]
[ mood | content ]
[ music | Hello - Evanescence ]

Today was cool. Went over to Justin's house...well actually I was only in his house for like a half an hour, then his grandpa kicked us all out. =( lol.

Frank is so sweet omg!! He got me a bag of skittles and a Twix since he knows they are my favorite, this cute stuffed animal thingamajig, flowers, and a card that says, "I love you" inside and he wrote inside it, "-From the bottom of my heart, Love Frank". And he let Justin sign it too lol so he wouldnt feel left out, and Justin said, "-I love you from my WHOLE heart". Hehe...and then when Ethan came over Frank's like, "Oh, so what did you get her, Ethan?" LOL Allison says that Frank is really jealous of Ethan and Justin told me that he's trying to "steal me" from him...w/e.

Then when we got kicked out of Justin's house for being too noisy or whatnot, we were outside his house on the steet for like 3 hours, and Anthony Rosales, Nick, Billy, Jon (Justin's bro), and this other dude, were there. This guy named "Jamerson" who had been 2 jail like 5 times for selling pot kept trying to shoot them with a paintball gun. It was very entertaining but scary hehe when I walked by his house it was freaky! He's like 25 and is holding this huge paintball gun and trying to hit, like, a 9-year-old!! (Justin's little brother).

Then after my mom came and picked me up (after embarrasing me in front of all present, of course) Allison came with and she came over for a couple hours (as u can see from previous entry).

Fun day. Yup.

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