| [ |
mood |
| |
 crazy |
] |
I've been a little crazy with music lately. But maybe it isn't just lately. Maybe I've been like this before, but I've forgotten?
I keep getting addicted to certain bands. Like, insanely addicted. I will listen to the same albums over and over and over again. I try to stop, but I CAN'T. If I put on something that isn't the music of my obsession, I feel anxious. Must. Change. The. Music. Having an iPod instead of a CD player has made the problem worse. Before, my laziness would prevent me from getting up and crossing the room to switch the music. Now that all the songs are at my fingertips, I have no reason not to. I have no control.
It extends beyond just the iPod, though. I am clicking all over the internet to learn more about the band (not necessarily the individual members; usually the band as a whole), reading reviews, wanting to buy myself band merch! (Which, is one thing I've been able to keep myself from doing. But, oh, how I want it!) As you know, I also just took a trip across the country to see a band! I spent a very big chunk of my tax return to see a band! And while I was out there, I became obsessed with another band whom I will be seeing again in May here in town! And, you know, I would do that every month if I could. Every WEEK. Just fly out to where ever to see whatever band I wanted to see.
******
I just reread the above paragraphs, but I don't think I've written it well. I don't think these words can possibly make you get this feeling I'm trying to describe. It's like nothing in the world is satisfying if it isn't happening while I'm listening to [My Most Favorite Band of the Moment/Week/Month/Season]! I feel empty without it; I feel high and ALIVE with it.
As I've been typing this, I've had the iPod playing a band who doesn't happen to be My Current Obsession. On purpose. To keep me from listening to the sixteen songs I want to be listening to for what could easily be the sixteen-hundredth time. (Hyperbole. I've only had eleven of these songs for less than 36 hours.) I can hardly breathe. I don't know what to do with myself.
I... kind of think I need to start writing again. It's been five full weeks now. I've been busy as hell with Book Stuff. Everyday! But I'm not creating anything new. I've been planning my next story in my mind, but I haven't created a new file, pondered a title, worked on an outline, or even written a single WORD of it. (For the curious, my plan right now is to write a connected novel from Rosetta's POV to take place about eight months after my previous novel ended.)
Edit: I couldn't take it anymore and switched the music back to what I was trying to keep from listening to. Instant relief followed by euphoria! I made it only forty minutes without it.
|