| I want my mom. |
[01 Sep 2003|10:28pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sick |
] |
I want Jess.
I want somebody. Somebody to come take care of me. I think I'm sick.
Yeah, not feeling good.
Feel... dizzy. Hot. My eyes burn.
*passes out on the bed*
|
|
|
[01 Sep 2003|05:46am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 awake |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Beatles - Hello, Goodbye |
] |
|
|
| COT DAMN! |
[27 Aug 2003|06:04pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 devious |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Clipse - Ma, I Don't Love Her |
] |
My aim isn't working. Why? I wish I knew. YARR! Bloody computers!
I'm hungry. I need tacos. Where's Jess? She's gone missing.
I miss Justin. Times like these make me wanna call him at all hours of the night and text message him 50 million times a day. As a matter of fact, I think I'll do that now!
Oh, and speaking of missing... why is there a missing persons ad for me? Did I really leave for that long? It wasn't my fault. Blame it on... uh... Lance. Just cause I like blaming shit on that boy. He's blond and a huge dork. Reason enough to blame him for everything. Check it...
Jess, you remember that pint of ice cream in the freezer? Lance ate it. It's all gone. It's his fault. *innocent smile*
Wow, I love doing that. Something goes wrong... blame Carl!
|
|
| I don't wanna talk to you... |
[18 Aug 2003|09:16pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
like NOT talking |
] |
Oh noooooooooooo I don't.
I don't wanna talk to anyone. Unless your name is Jess.
Noooooo, I don't want to to talk to you. Or you. Or you either. So pleaaaaaaase go awaaaaaaaay.
Ok, maybe Jess AND Justin.
|
|
| Do you know the muffin man, the muffin man, the muffin man? |
[16 Aug 2003|03:01am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sleepy |
] |
He lives on Drury Lane, you know.
You know what I like? Sex. It's pretty much the only exercise I've been getting... what with being on hiatus and all. Sexsexsexsexsex. It's the only time I don't really mind getting sweaty. And I sweat like whoa. I can be sitting down watching the tube and eating a gallonpint of Ben and Jerry's and I'll have to stretch to get the remote and I'll break into a sweat. Which is why I think I should exercise more. And in turn, that means... more sex. More babies. Maybe ten. This first one hasn't even arrived yet, but I've got it all planned out. Just wait. We'll have a clan! Kirkpatrick Clan. I like the way that sounds.
The Kirkpatrick Clan.
Yes.
I'm sleepy. I think I'm gonna go back to bed. There's a beautiful woman in my bed... she's keeping my spot warm.
YARR!
|
|
| Texas, our Texas... |
[12 Aug 2003|10:41pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
uncomfortable |
] |
Uh... I don't know the words. Is it mandatory to know the words? I mean, since my fiancee is from there and all? YARR! Man, I'm tired for some reason. I don't even feel like being piratey. WHAT!? NOOOOOOO!
I want a monkey. Monkeys are cool.
I love Jessica, yes I do
When she's away, I am blue
I love Jessica, yeah yeah yeah
Um... what rhymes with yeah?
I suck.
I'm all itchy! MAKE IT STOP! *scratches*
|
|
|
[28 Jul 2003|11:04pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bouncy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Ohno - Down and Out |
] |
Beautiful, I just want you to know... you're my favorite girl! Yes.
So, yeah, I've been kinda busy. Sorry. Like J said... been in the studio with Ohno. I'm helping them with their album. *pimps their site* Check em out. They're a great bunch of guys and their music rocks. And I'm not just saying that.
That is all for my update. Long updates make me itchy. I break out in hives. That's why I don't write too many of them. Ok, I'm done. Time to go bug J.
P.S. Lance sucks. :D Hi Lance.
|
|
| Hi... |
[22 Jul 2003|12:40am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
bouncy |
] |
My name is Chris and my best friend needs to eat more food! I think I should go on tour with him and feed him tacos all day. That ought to fatten him up a bit. Dude, eat something, you're disappearing! Nooooooooo! That's it. I'm gonna fire Trace and take his place. Whoa, that rhymed! I'm such a POET! The little Mexican troll follows you around, but he doesn't feed you? What the hell is that about? Psssh... operation "feed the skinny boy" has now commenced! Think about it. Breakfast tacos. Mmmm. Then we have some for lunch. And for dinner... more tacos! Sounds delicious to me. Whaddaya say? Buddy ol' pal? I mean, you can't lose. You get free food AND free company. Beat that, my friend. Yarr!
Avaste ye! I have spoken, and so shall it be!
So, onto the part where I talk about the Challenge. SO RAD! This weekend was the fucking best ever. Yeah, no sunburn for me cause I got this hot chick to rub me down with sunscreen. Oh yeah! Damn she fine! Blonde hair, nice legs. Her name's Jessica. She's marrying this weird little guy, though. The lucky bastard. ;) Emmy rocks the hizzouse! She's so awesome. Thank god she's with Carl. He needs someone like her cause he's so boring. Ahahaha! Joking, Bass, joking. JC fell asleep on the beach without sunscreen. Smart move, my man. And I think Kel beat Joey up. Did you see that cut under his eye? Yeah. That was so Kelly's doing. HA! Joey got beat up by a giiiiiiiiiiiii-iiiiiiiiiiirl! Kelly's mah hero! Oh man, I'm gonna get my ass kicked. I feel it. HIDE ME! Wait, what? I'm a bad ass mother fucker. I can take all yous guys on! Me and Justin. Right, J? Uh... or not.
You must see my icons. I have a BENJICHRIS one! YES!!!! So glad my fave GC boys came to Miami for the Challenge. It wouldn't have been the same without them.
And now, my little minions, I've got more important things to do. Like, spend more time with my favorite girl. Later!
|
|
| Happy, happy, happy! |
[18 Jul 2003|02:57pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 happy |
] |
Woot! We're here in Miami for The Challenge. Me and the family... Jess, the guys, Kel, Bri, Em, and the puppy. Come on, did you actually think we were gonna leave her behind?
Everything is so great! I love it when things go perfectly, don't you? *bounces*
Sooooooooooooooo... I've got a beautiful fiancee. My best friend is happy. All the guys are here. Joe's finally gonna marry Kel. Bout damn time, yo. I mean, really. AND! I'm gonna be a daddy. Did I mention that I'm gonna be a daddy? Oh, right, I did. Wait! Did I mention that I've got the best fiancee in the world? She's amazing and beautiful and classy and awesome and incredible and just... yes. How lucky am I? I've got Jess, and four of the greatest friends a guy could ever want. I think this is the happiest I've ever been in my entire life. *thinks* Mmhmm. Yup. It is.
Time to go bug the kid. And after that, I'm going to explore the streets of Miami with my two favorite girls. Yarr!
|
|
| Muahahaha!! |
[13 Jul 2003|08:28pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
Benji-ish |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
What else? Good Charlotte |
] |
From here on out, I shall only answer to the name Benjichris *nods*
*uses the icon I pillaged from Benji*
|
|
| New icons... |
[04 Jul 2003|04:32am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
cold |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
All America Rejects - Swing Swing |
] |
Worship them, because I said so.
The end.
|
|
| YARR! |
[02 Jul 2003|11:20pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
devious |
] |
We shall be the most feared pirates in all the land and sea! Me, J, and Joe. But, Joe's not a FULL pirate yet. He's gotta complete his dastardly deed! HE MUST STEAL PANTIES! And not just any panties... but a pair of wench Britney's! CLEAN ONES! Cause we don't even wanna know about them dirty ones. Eww.
|
|
| *hides scissors* |
[27 Jun 2003|03:20pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
devious |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
N.E.R.D. - Things Are Getting Better |
] |
I didn't cut JC's hair in the middle of the night. *innocent smile*
It wasn't me, I swear! I just gave it a trim. There must be some little hair-cutting gremlins living under his bed.
Wasn't me.
Gotta go find Jess. PEACE!
|
|
| Wow! |
[25 Jun 2003|10:52pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
loved/excited/happy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Unwritten Law - Rest of My Life |
] |
That sums it up in one word.
Today is the best day EVER!
The cliffnotes version, cause I got a beautiful lady waiting on me:
My girlfriend is now my fiancee and the future mother of my child!
*steals Lance's lame saying* Isn't that something?
Oh, by the way, I'm a poet! Go read my kick ass poem that J posted in  off_camera_aim.
|
|
| I seem to have misplaced my girlfriend. |
[20 Jun 2003|02:50am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 confused |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Irresistible... now who sings that!? ;) |
] |
She's about 5'3"... has blonde hair and hazel eyes. Very beautiful, too. Even has a birthday coming up next month. I hope she didn't go back to Texas.
Here's a visual:
Now, if you see this beautiful and amazing girl... please tell her that her boyfriend, Chris, misses her and loves her. Oh, and that she needs to come keep me company and feed me, cause I'm hungry. Thank you. That is all.
|
|
|
[14 Jun 2003|02:05am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
devious |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
N.E.R.D. - Tape You |
] |
Look
I jus' want to tape you
All night
Yeah
|
|
| Holy calamitous contagions, Batman!! |
[12 Jun 2003|11:00pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
bouncy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
All American Rejects - Swing Swing |
] |
I kinda disappeared on everyone for a while there, eh?
Well, I'm BACK! Back, I say! Arrr!
Hey, you know what movie I want to see?
THIS ONE!!
YESSSSS!!!!!!!! ARRRRRRRRRRRRR!
I am Chris, the ninja pirate! Click that, I demand it!
Tis the bitter stench of death.
I promise I won't ever leave you all again. I know how much you missed me.
I don't like this icon anymore. I need a new one.
|
|
| *throws westside sign* |
[01 May 2003|07:33pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
thuggish |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Tupac - Me and My Girlfriend |
] |
What up, Blood? - What?
What up, Cuz? - What?
What up, Blood? - What?
What up, Gangsta!?
|
|
| Just a few tips... |
[27 Apr 2003|03:43pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
bouncy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Notorious BIG - Big Poppa |
] |
Tip #1: Never ever tell your girlfriend she snores. It's not pretty. Really, it's not. Especially if you compare her snores to Joe's. I have learned my lesson, and I shall never do that again. Ever.
Tip #2: When leaning against a door, please make sure it's shut correctly and locked. There's nothing worse than falling on your ass from a comfortable position.
Tip #3: Always put the toilet seat down when you're done. For some reason, it pisses the ladies off.
Tip #4: Never eat the last of anything if you know it's your girlfriend's favorite. I've learned this the hard way. And I still have the bitemarks to prove it.
That is all. Carry on.
( Mmm, she's having phone sex with me... )
|
|
