[Most Recent Entries]
Below are the 15 most recent journal entries recorded in
|Thursday, February 3rd, 2005|
|Been a while
It's been a while since my last update. I have been busy with school and...that's about it because I don't have a job anymore. Coming up on 3 full weeks now of unemployment. It's driving me crazy. I don't have any money and I've got a credit card bill to pay. It's not swell. I've been looking but there's not tons out there and I'm not really qualified for much. I need to call this Lifecodes place because I could get a job as a phlebotemist (spelling ??). My boss from Planned Parenthood works there on the weekends. I just haven't called because I'm a loser I suppose. Chris and I are planning on getting a puppy but I don't know if that's a possibility now because of the money issue. Pets cost money, and I have none, and neither does Chris. Makes for quite the problem. My dad and Teresa have started building the additions for the house and they look great so far. They've got all the framing up for the addition, upstairs and downstairs. I'm very excited. School I think is going to be easy except for Anatomy & Physiology. That will probably be hard. Who knows. Chrs and I are doing really good. I'm happy for us because we're coming up on 2 years and we've been living together for 1 year and 3 months and have managed not to kill each other. I think that's quite an accomplishment. The kitty cats are good, as are my parents. My sister is coming down next week to bring her old mustang which is now mine. She's going to be here for 5 days and I'm so excited. I haven't seen Shawna in 6 months, not since she graduated in August. She's awesome and I miss her. I never get to see her anymore since she moved to freaking IOWA! I don't see my mom either because she's in New Jersey. I get to see my dad though. I went out to his house for the weekend this last weekend and we met for lunch today at Cheddars. It was really good. I enjoy getting to meet up with him and be able to see him whenever. Chris and I are supposed to have dinner with my aunt and unlce on saturday night and I'm happy about that. We haven't been to see/hang out with them in a while. Tomorrow night we're going to go see Boogeyman I think. And Saturday there is a birthday party for Hunter, my old boss' son. He's going to be 1. I don't know what to get. What do you get a 1 year old? Chris also has a make up class for IEC. He's kinda thinking about looking for a new job, but I don't know whether or not he'll actually leave. I guess it depends on what he gets offered. Anyways I guess I'll try sleeping again, even though it didn't work out before..hence the entry at midnight. Current Mood: awakeCurrent Music: Muse - Sing for Absolution
|Sunday, January 9th, 2005|
|Christmas and New Years
So it's been a while since I last wrote. I have returned to my old slacking ways. Chris and I spent A few days in Jersey with my mom and then flew to England. We were in England for a week and it was awesome. I got really sick, and so did my mom and Sally, but I still enjoyed it. It snowed on Christmas day!! I was so excited. We didn't do a lot of sight seeing but Chris got wasted with a bunch of strangers on Christmas eve. We went to Manchester and went to a museum and a gigantic mall that was horrendously packed with people. Then we stayed in a nice hotel room and got up the next morning and went to the airport. We spent a night in Philly, ate at the Hard Rock Cafe, spent $40 on cab fare, and then flew to Mississippi to spend New Years with Chris' family. When we got there they were all sick and I competely lost my voice. Many compared it to Superman without his super powers. LOL. We had fun there in spite of everyone being sick. Apparently it's a family tradition for everyone to get something and pass if around the family. We really enjoyed it. The trip back we stopped in Houston and there was drama with our flight but we finally made it back to the HEB. I arrived at work to find that in 2 weeks I would have no job. I haven't found another one yet. I might transfer to the Irving clinic. I might do Metro. I might move to Nacagdoches and go to SFA. There are lots of "mights" in my life right now and I haven't made final decisions on any of them. There is one final decision. We're getting a puppy. Jennifer, the manager at the Irving clinic, has two dogs that just had two puppies. We're going to get one. The girl I think. They're little miniature fox terriers, and I'm super excited. It will give Fud someone else to terrorize. Anyways that's about it for now. I have school starting soon and I'm taking a lot of classes. Some of which I'm sure are really necessary, but that's ok. I bought a lot of moves over the past week. 33 and a season of the OC to be exact. I'm addicted, we've all admited that I have a problem. I'm going to the doctor on Wednesday for a second opinion about all the things I went to the doctor about last Wednesday and to talk about some other problems I've been having that I didn't have time to talk about to my doctor. Anyways, I think that's enough blabber for the world out there who doesn't read my blurty journal. Bye Current Mood: gloomyCurrent Music: Vanessa Carlton - White Houses
|Sunday, December 5th, 2004|
|3 days in a row
So I wrote my music appreciation paper. I think it's mostly 4 and a half pages of BS, but that's ok. It's done and it's the required length, and it has the required amount of sources, and on Tuesday I'll just have to BS my way through a 3-5 minute presentation about the paper that I did. My mom told me this morning that she was thinking about buying Rainbow but couldn't live out there for a while and asked if Chris and I wanted to live out there. We were talking about it and weighing the pros and cons, and then my mom called back and said that my dad decided he wasn't going to sell it. So we went around in a big circle for nothing. I also talking to my good friend Kimberly and we decided that my major was going to be Radiological Science with a concentration in Nuclear Medicine, but the only school offering that program is Midwestern in Wichita Falls and the entire degree is earned through distance education via online classes. My past history of online classes is not so good. I've taken 3 in total, 2 I dropped and the other I failed. Fantastic huh. So I decided not to do that. I also talked to several people that I hadn't talked to in a while and it was nice, but weird at the same time because it reminded me of how many people I've lost touch with since high school. We all have different lives now and can't find anything in common to talk about. It's weird. Anyways, I'm going to go now because I'm tired and I think Chris and I are going to watch a movie in bed. Bye! Current Mood: pissed offCurrent Music: Story of a Year - Until the Day I Die
|Saturday, December 4th, 2004|
I've done absolutely nothing today, I am a loser! Chris and I slept until almost 2 o'clock and since then I've been watching TV and he's been playing on his computer. He has a ton of homework to do for IEC and I have a paper to write for my music appreciation class, but neither of us have done any of it. Oh well I guess we'll get it done tomorrow. I've been really thinking about myself lately and how unhappy I am with how I look. I used to be skinny and now according to my BMI and my body fat percentage I'm officially obese. I look smaller than girls that weigh the same amount as me, but I'm just not healthy. I'm having a lot of problems with my back and other things so I just need to start exercising. I have a treadmil that I got from my dad and I'm going to start running and see if I can get less fat. Hopefully I can! I still don't weigh 200 pounds but it's something that I'm terrified of. I want to be about 125 so I've got a ways to go. Anywyas I need to cook me and Chris something to eat because neither of us have eaten all day (which is probably what I need, to just stop eating!) Oh well..I hope all 2 people that read this are entertained. Current Mood: frustratedCurrent Music: Avril Lavigne - Nobody's Home
|Friday, December 3rd, 2004|
|And once again I haven't written in forever
So I've been working at Planned Parenthood now for almost 6 months and last entry i had only been there 2 days. I like the job sometimes, and I hate the job sometimes. It just depends on the day. I know a lot now. Most everything I need to. Some stuff I don't always remember but it's things that we've only done like once since I started working there like Norplant Removals. For the most part my job is alright. My co-workers are awesome and I really enjoy being around them. Things with Chris and I are really good. We've been together for 1 year and 9 months. My mom moved to New Jersey because she got a good job there. She and Sally did get married and are happy. Chris and I are going to Enlgand for Christmas to spend it with them. My dad proposed to his girlfriend, now fiance, and they'll be getting married next July. I'm really happy for him and I think he's really happy too. Once that marriage is official, I will have 6 step-siblings. SIX!!! Can you believe it? I tried out for a drumline called Metro Alliance and I find out for sure whether or not I made it on Dec 17th. I'm pretty excited about that and I hope I make it. Who knows. The cats are good, and Chris and I are already looking for a new place. This apartment is 3 bedrooms and it's just too big. We need a two bedroom place. So we'll be moving AGAIN in May. Anyways, I guess that's a good update, I'll get good at writing eventually and then I won't have to do updates, I'll just be able to journal and talk about my days. Current Mood: hungryCurrent Music: Maroon 5-Sunday Morning
|Sunday, June 20th, 2004|
|Belated entry but not months from the last one
So it's been a while since I've written. Not so long that we've started counting months. Kim and Carly's party was fun. There were a lot of people there, a lot that I really honestly never expected to see again. It was a blast though. Josh and Chris proceeded to pass out outside on the sidewalk in the storm and puke all over themselves. And then I woke up the next morning and puked 3 times throughout the day. I felt pretty crappy that day and the next day. Chris and I have decided that it can be easliy attributed to the cheap vodka that we were drinking all night. I'm almost to the point that I don't want to drink anymore. Who knows, maybe I just won't drink cheap liqour anymore. My sister came down for a little bit before she flew out to see Ross in Iowa. She'll be back monday but I think I"ll be at work by that time. It's good to see her, always. Speaking of work, I did get the job at Planned Parenthood. I have been to work 2 days so far. I really like it. I'm still learning and there's so much to learn I can't even begin to list, but I've got down most of the front work and am going to start taking patients back and counseling..or at least learning how to do the counseling sessions. I'm pretty excited. The wedding might be off between my mom and Sally just because of complications in Sally's divorce. But they'll still go on the vacation and just get married later. Anyways that's about all I have. Not that many people read this..in other words..pretty much no one. But I'm gonna go and I'll try to write soon. I've been bad about updates, and I usually am, but oh well. Current Mood: apathetic
|Sunday, June 6th, 2004|
|Long Time No Entry AGAIN!
Ok, so I've offically done nothing but sucked at this blurty thing. I don't keep up with my entries, and that's not a good thing. Not that anyone besides Chris and Josh read this anyways! (You happy Josh I included you). I talked to my mom's girlfriend on the phone for a while today and it was actually nice to get to talk to her and get to know her. They're getting married on July 22 and Chris and I are both flying up to Canada for the ceremony. I'm not sure how to deal with everything yet, but I'm kinda dealing with it a day at a time. I know that my mom is happy, genuinely happy, which is something she never was when I was growing up. There have been a lot of bad storms lately and we were without power for about 35 hours earlier this week. I'm waiting to hear back on a job from Planned Parenthood. I should find out about it tomorrow. I hope I get it because I really want it and I really need it as well. Chris and I are all moved in to the HEB area. I couldn't be happier, College Station was hell this past year. Mainly due to my ex-roommate. She was the epitomy of "roommate hell". She was rude and selfish and couldn't give the meaning of the word "compromise" if her life depended on it. She was stingy with her money and tried to finagle around $150 out of me when Chris and I moved out. I'm so happy that I don't live there anymore. My new apartment is way better anyways because it's bigger, and nicer, and it doesn't have her in it, dictating everything I did. I can leave a cup on the countertop and not get a nasty note about it in the morning. The only bad thing about living here is that I don't have a job yet, but hopefully I should have one soon. Anyways it's past my bedtime and I need to go. I'll try to keep up with this better, though who knows if I actually will. Everyone keeps up with their Xanga's so I guess it won't kill me to journal in here every now and then. See ya! Current Mood: optimistic
|Friday, March 12th, 2004|
|Oh the fun of Salty Dog
Me, Chris and Shawna went out to Salty Dog tonight. Coral, Abraham, and CT from MTV's road rules and real world were there. I never saw CT but I saw the other two. There was also a slut-o-rama in a pink top and white pants and a stirped thong. Why do I know what her thong looked like you ask? Because she kept pulling her pants down and showing her ass to everyone. Then she'd pull up her shirt, then she'd unbutton her pants and pull them down again. It was quite a display..not sure it was what I was expecting to see when I went out, but whatever...It was crappy at first because it was crowded and girls were dancing like idiots and grinding up on people they didn't know. Finally Chris found me a chair and got me a Cherry Vodka Sour and I cheered up. Now that I've had 4 I'm in a much better mood. I had fun with Shawna and I'm really glad that we went..at least after I sat down and got some drinks in me. I got my passport application turned in today, I also found out what I made on my thrid sociology test. A 90 which I was impressed with because that is my hardest class and thus far my test grades are a 68 and a 66. So it was nice to add an "A" to the list. I volunteered for the first time at the hospital tonight and it was boring but also nice to get to help out those people. Even if I was doing nothing more than moving their chairs and little chair-toilet things and getting them fresh ice and water..they'd smile and thank me and it was nice. Chris cleaned up my room and my closet so that I can now walk inside my "walk-in closet". He paid rent to Tiffany and I and officially moved in today. I'm excited. Just a little glimpse of next semester with him and my mom although he has pretty much lived here since October 11 when he moved from Mississippi. Anyways I'm rambling, the words are too small for me to really read from here, and the cherry vodka sours are starting to set in so I'm making a lot of typing mistakes and this is taking much too long. I'm going to go to bed, but for you fans of my online journal out there...I know, I'm talking to no one...You'll be happy that I wrote two days in a row! By the by, my dad got a job offer and officially will be employeed by North American Interplastics on March 22. Everyone give a big YAY for my daddy! Ok I'm a nerd and I'm getting spinny..i'm going to bed. Current Mood: drunkCurrent Music: R Kelly and some guy...that damn hotel song
|Wednesday, March 10th, 2004|
|Long time, no entry
Wow, it has been so long sice I've written. Chris is moved to Texas..I don't know exactly what I wrote in my last entry. Anyways, over Christmas break my parents told me and my sister that they were going to get a divorce. It's finalized and done with. Crazy huh? School is actually going well this semester. It's amazing that I can actually do well in school. I'm moving from College Station back to Bedford in May. I signed my move out notice the other day. My mom and Chris and I are going to live together, which I'm actually excited about! I'm going to Belize from May 15-22 for a SCUBA diving trip. It's going to be so much fun. Me and my friend Samantha are going. I'm in the process of getting all my passport stuff taken care of. Chris and I just recently had our 1 year anniversary and it was so cute. Chris bought me a cd I've been wanting and the Hanes Jersey Tee Shirt sheets...with butterflies on them..of course! And he also bought me a single rose..my favorite kind of rose..the white with pink edges. He really does listen sometimes, which I don't usually realize. I tend to think that because he's a guy and my boyfriend that he doesn't listen..but he does, so it's nice to be reminded of that sometimes. I just wanted to update the zero people that read my online diary of what's going on! I will try and be better about writing but if not..oh well! Current Mood: happyCurrent Music: Josh Groban
|Monday, September 29th, 2003|
|Been gone for a while!!
Hey all! Even though the only person that reads my posts are Chris, and maybe occasionally Brooke. Anyways it's been a while since my last post and I thought I should update all 2 of you as to what is going on in my life. I've been having some back problems. Ok let's back up a little bit. I've been having back pains for about 4 or 5 years now and always just thought it was the every day strain of students with their books and stuff on their backs all day. It got to be pretty bad a few weeksna go and Chris and I went to the doctor. They took 4 X-rays and found that I have a transitional vertebrae. It could be a few different things actually there are variations on the whole "transitional vertebrae" thing. It could be an extra vertebrae in my lower back, it woulc be two vertebraes that are fused together, partially or completely, or it could be a vertebrae with componants of two different kinds of vertebraes or, a vertabrae in the lower back area with extra bones on it. We're not really sure right now because the person I saw at the doctors office was a complete doof. So I have to get an MRI scan and take it with me to a back specialist and find out what's wrong. I'm not very excited about it all especially since Chris can't be here with me for it. I'm scared about the MRI and I want him to be there with me and he can't. It sucks. Oh well I'm going to just try to be a big girl and try to be brave and do it without him. He'll definitely be here for all the physical tehrapy or whatever else I have to go through. It all depends on what they figure out is wrong with me. I've been really stressed out with school lately because I just had a big round of tests. I've only gotten the results from one back so far and it wasn't pretty. Hopefully the rest will be better. My dad gave me an incentive program that he and my mom came up with to help me make better grades. Or at least the 3.0 that my dad insists I get on my 16 hours this semesters. Who knows if it will actually happen or not. Hopefully it will, it will make my dad so happy. Chris will be here soon and I couldn't be happier. We've got a lot of options for where he can live and we've just gotta get in touch with all the possibilities and fingure out which one will be best. He's got a job interview that sounds pretty hopeful, and it's a really good job too. It has benefits and pays well and everything. He has a car also, and my parents are giving him all the furniture he'll need. My roommate's mom also rescued a stray kitty that someone threw out the car window and Chris is going to take care of it, so n ow he has a pet and one that will perfectly replace Neo, the cat that he lost a few years ago. Anyways it's great because it seems like everything is falling into place with him and I really think this move will be good for him. I think it's what he needs right now to just get his life back on track, get away from home and his parents, and get out on his own again and go back to school. I'm so excited for him and our life together! Yay for me and Chris. Ok now I'm just being a big dumb loser, so I'm going to go now, but everyone be very proud that I finally remembered to post again. I am at least. See you guys later! Current Mood: optimisticCurrent Music: The Juliana Theory - White Days
|Wednesday, September 17th, 2003|
Here is my response to what I just read:
I love you so much that it hurts inside. I love you with all of my heart and soul and parts of my heart and soul I didn't even know I had. I guess I can understand why you think that I was using you to "fill a void" that Stephen left. But the void that Stephen left isn't what I filled. I filled a void of not having anyone to love with all I had and to have someone reciprocate that. I didn't have friends, and I didn't have anyone special in my life and I went looking for someone with the qualifications for that. You fit in perfectly. You had everything I could ever want all wrapped up in the gorgeous little package. Stephen and I broke up in October. I met you in mid-Februrary, and we got together March 1st. By the time I met you, I was over Stephen. I made sure I was over Stephen before I even started talking to other guys because I was used, I had been used, and I wasn't about to do that to someone else. If I had any indication that I still had feelings for Stephen I wouldn't have taken things with you as far as I did. I would have kept it on a friend-level, however, I knew I was over Stepher and I wasn't looking for someone to fill his place. He didn't really even have a place. We were only together for about 2 months, and he didn't love me, and as much as I thought I did, I didn't love him. The attachment came from an infatuation. Looking back on it now, I can tell you and anyone else that asks, that everything between he and I was a mistake from the beginning. My friends told me it was a mistake from the beginning..but you know me, I won't take "no" for an answer; I have to find out for myself. I know that regardless of what I tell you, you're going to think what your gut tells you to think, and until that feeling matches up with what I've been telling you all along, I'm going to do the same thing you've decided to do. I'm going to love you unconditionally and I'm going to never ever give up on you. I told you I wasn't going to and I'm not. You are my heart and soul and the breath of life that keeps me motivated. You know that I couldn't wake up and live through a single day without knowing that you would be there with me. Even if you can't be with me physically because you're in Mississippi and I'm in Texas, you're always in my heart and I know that I'm in yours. You keep pictures of me at your desk at work and one in your wallet. I have one on my desktop and see it every time I come home. Baby you are everything in the world to me, and you are the only thing that keeps me breathing in and out day after day. I hope after reading this you will understand truly where I am coming from and honestly how I feel for you. I've been telling you all this stuff from day one and I'll keep telling it to you until I can't talk anymore, until I can't type, until I can't write, and then..I'll just sit and smile and you'll know that in my head I'm still telling you that I love you more than anything, anyone, and that I will never give up on you. You are in my heart always, and I will always be in yours.
|Sunday, September 14th, 2003|
|Life is really rough
I was driving around town today, going to get a prescription and check on my sister's dog. I was talking to chris on the phone and I thought about the fact that I have to go to school tomorrow and I went into this horrible mood. Everything was horrible and I couldn't figure out how to make anything better. Chris was scared and didn't understand why I was so upset and I didn't have anything to tell him about what was wrong. Basically I figured out that it was because I hate it here. I hate my school, I hate this city and I hate everything about my situation right now. I don't have any friends at all. I'm friends with my roommate but she's my roommate and I don't think that if I moved she would try to contact me to hang out or anything. You know? I'm daytime friends with everyone I work with but don't hang out with any of them outside of school. My sister and her roommate are friends, but I mean, how does that classify as a friend for me? My sister and her roommate..if you think about it it doesn't really make them my friends. Besides Chris is 12 hours away and even though I can talk to him online and on the phone it's so hard knowing that I can't see him, that I can't reach out and touch him or hold him or kiss him. It sucks to live somewhere and be surrounded by people but be completely alone. Make sense? I want to be with Chris and I want to go home. I really don't have a home though because my parents sold our house. If I go home..to where my parents live...I have to drive an hour to see anyone I was friends with in high school and am friends with now. I don't know it just feels like I don't belong here, and if I were to go home, I don't really belong there either. It's really hard. I don't know. I miss my baby, and I just want him to be here with me. At least then we could not belong together. I guess I'm gonna go now though, I have to be at class tomorrow morning at 10 and I don't get out until tomorrow night at 9:45. Long day...blah. Current Mood: crappyCurrent Music: John Mayer - Comfortable
I finally got verified with the stupid Blurty stuff. My email was being dumb and wouldn't work. Finally it is and now I can do whatever I couldn't do before I got verified. Who knows what the deal was..and I'm not quite sure what advantages there are to being verified as opposed to not being verified but whatever. I'm just happy I got it taken care of, I was getting really mad and now I'm not! Anyways, that was just a quick update. I'm tired and dizzy and my roommate's cat is in heat and hasn't stopped screaming all weekend! It's driving me crazy. Anyways I'm trying to download something from my boyfriend so I'm gonna go! Current Mood: relievedCurrent Music: Just listening to the radio!
|My boyfriend is great
My boyfriend is seriously the best boyfriend a girl could every have. It sucks that he's constantly worried about everything. He thinks these horrible thoughs about "what if" and twists situations into unreasonable things. I know he trusts me, and he knows he trusts me but the thing is, he still thinks all this stuff. I wish I could just give him a big hug and kiss and let him know that everything is fine and make all the thoughts stop. But I can't..Thing is though, it doesn't matter because flaws, crazy thoughts and all, I love him more than anyone in the world. I love him like I've never ever loved anyone or anything else in my entire life. He's perfect for me and I can't imagine any single moment of my life without him. He's a part of every single breath I take, and even though he thinks that all the guys I talk to are hotter than him and that he was the worst pick, he isn't. He doesn't understand it, but I think he's so hot, and more importantly than that, I think he is absolutely beautiful. He's so honest and pure and can't imagine anything evil in the world. He does everything that he does out of pure concern and love for other people. I wish I would have met him sooner, but mostly I wish that he lived here. He'll be here in less than a month, but still..it's hard not having him here. I'm gonna go now though, just wanted to post and let EVERYONE how much I love my boyfriend!!! Current Mood: gratefulCurrent Music: Maroon 5 - Harder to Breathe
|Saturday, September 13th, 2003|
Chris convinced me to get one!
So last night Chris was sending me all these old journal entries from his ex girlfriend Rebecca..and then he started his own online journal..and now I've started my own online journal. I'm such a sheep..baa!! Oh well I love myself and I love Chris and so that's all that matters. I took a really long nap today and Chris tried calling like 40 million times to wake me up but it didn't work because I'm lazy and I wouldn't wake up and answer the phone! hehe! He's the best boyfriend in the whole world because he calls me to wake me up for stuff, and he keeps me sane. I don't know what I would do without him in my life. I'm the luckiest girl in the whoe wide world. Alright so before I get too mushy and girly I'll stop for now!!!
Current Mood: Happy!!!
Current Music: Only the music in my head