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[13 May 2003|10:36pm] |
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By popular demand I'm making this journal friends only! But if any nice people want to add me then I promise I'll add you back! ~xxx~
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| the broadcast |
[08 May 2003|03:15pm] |
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mood |
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 busy |
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music |
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Seven Nation Army by The White Stripes |
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Went to college bright and early as usual at 9am (I'm often there from 8.30 due to the buses though). Had a Theatre In the Community production meeting which lasted about an hour and a half. I have so much to do it's unreal. Then I completed Episode 3 of Studentz with Sam and Simon. They're recording that today. Episode 4 should be done by tommorow. Episode 1 is being aired tommorow night so I'll have to tune in and see what it sounds like. I've spent ages writing it and I haven't even heard it! Should be interesting! So I'm looking forward to that. I should experience a feeling of satisfaction...
I have a sneaky feeling that Ray is going to call either today or tommorow. In which case I'm not going to pick up. Besides I even have an excuse now! I'm taking the dog to the vets tonight and I have to listen to my show tommorow so I can't go out yay! I bet that won't stop her though. I'll bet she'll want me to come out Saturday night or some other foul encrusted night. 
I think today's nice enough to take the dog out for it's afternoon walk. I'll see if Mum wants to come too. I have to get on with my assignment though - did a load of photocopying for it today in the library so I'm well on my way with it. I've filed all my assignments into deadline order. The faster I get them out the way the more I can do! That's what I'm planning anyway.
Oh well, let's walk the dog.
 What Coke Are you? Click To Find Out!
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| sore outside and in |
[04 May 2003|11:26am] |
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 sore |
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music |
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the dog barking, whining and the washing machine |
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Today so far hasn't been that good. All I can hear is the dog barking and whining along with the washing machine going full blast in the other room. I got up at about half 8 this morning, fed the cats and dog, took the dog out. When Mum came down she was pissed off because I let Meg sleep on the sofa. Then when Jade tried to give Meg her pill she threw it up all over the living room carpet. Mum said I should clean it up as I haven't done nothing so far today. What a load of shit. I've fucking fed the animals and walked them! I fucking hate being accused of doing nothing. Makes me so mad!
On Friday Hazel seemed sad on her birthday. Her mother had been shouting at her again on her birthday. Kinda reminded me of my birthdays, I always managed to get shouted out by Mum. We got Hazel a cake and went to get a KFC (something very rare). She loved my presents! She had got the Harry Potter2 DVD which I watched with disgust. I viewed with an open mind but it was soooo boring and cheesy! I wasn't the target audience though so I would think that. Jade's insisting that I should read the book though as she is a big fan and says the book is better than the film. I read the first 2 pages and found it deadly dull and too easy to read. Afterall it is a children's book.
I have this dreadfully painful ulcer in my mouth, just under my tongue...grrr I fucking hate it! It hurts so much! 
So Dad's was ok I guess. On Saturday I just hung around the house being bored and indulging myself in the new music channels which have suddenly sprung from nowhere. Evanesense is one band which is certainly making itself known on there. They sound like Linkin Park only with a girl singer. When you first hear them they sound good, but I've listened to a few tracks on the album and they all just sound the same.
When we got back to Mum's she said that she'd been feeling lonely. Lonely for Boo who is (for those of you who don't know) is my Mum's on and off boyfriend of 12 years. She left my Dad for him. He's somebody that everybody in Lincoln knows and can't stand like the city drunk. Only this time is far worse. She had called him. Fortunately he has a girlfriend at the moment but this has happened before and it didn't stop Mum last time. I cried so much to try and express my opinion to her. She thinks it's some childish hate thing but it's not. As I wept I explained that when he used to live here (about 5 months ago now since he last did) I used to cry nearly everyday. Why? Because he stresses me out! Everyday there's another argument or something to prove me wrong about. I'd scream at the top of my voice but still he wouldn't get it. I just want to be left alone but he wouldn't, always nagging, always thinking he's better than the rest. I know he probably doesn't mean to do, it's just in his nature. As I think about it now I cry. I feel like fighting an army all the time when he's here. When he lives here there isn't a single day where an argument doesn't start up. Usually over the computer or the TV or someone's opinion. I just can't take it. I have enough stress on my mind as it. I really want to walk the dog all the time but I can't because I have so much work to be getting on with.
Today I hope to carry on with the Apple Tree props. I've decided to leave the Contextual Studies assignment until Tuesday when I'll have more guidence on it. I don't even know which fucking playwright I'm doing yet! Same with the Theatre in the Community assignment, I have no fucking clue what to do for the research part as there's fuck all on the internet about it. Plus you can't really do the rest until after you've toured so really that gives me 5 days to do the assignment in. I fucking hate it and shall raise this fact to Simon when I see him next and tell him that there's fuck all on the net about the history of Theatre in the Community.
Anywayz I'm going to get on with the props now then. ~xxx~
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| too tired |
[03 May 2003|11:47pm] |
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I tried to do some script writing when I was bored at Dad's today but all that came out was this.
Bathed in sunlight.
Evaporated time.
Silence rushes upon me,
An unwanted friend.
Waste of Life?
Or is it sensible?
Mature or no life?
Boring or adjusted?
Confused and I'm frustrated,
Alwayed faced with contradiction voices,
Voices of reason or shall I just ignore?
Ignore or listen?
To live or not to live?
Happy, sad, rich, poor?
Through the eyes of a stranger who am I?
Should I care?
End this stress when I rush upon this blade.
I'm too tired to give a full update of the weekend so far will do tommorow though I promise lol as if you cared!
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| Wasted Morning |
[30 Apr 2003|04:50pm] |
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Just wasted my morning by going into college like Dave had asked me and Katey to and go shopping for None The Wiser props and costumes. When we came back to college after 2 hours of shopping we'd discovered that some girl in the lower year knew a place that had loads of nun costumes so we shouldn't have bothered! What a wasted morning! I have sooo much to do and they fucking waste my time like that!
While I was in town I got a birthday card for my lil sis who's going to be 10 on Friday, a cute lil note book as one of her presents and a kool belt. So the morning wasn't completely wasted.
Today I've promised myself that I will finish the props for The Apple Tree - I'm making paper mache rocks lol! Hopefuly I'll be able to bring them in tommorow for the director to have a look. Dunno how many she needs though. I've got three in the works. I'll ask her tommorow. Plus I need to get more writing done for the Studentz radio show which I'm kinda shitting myself about cuz I dunno what to do for it. Kinda got writer's block or something.
Hopefully going to see Dad tonight. I need a break from Mum! 
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| I have SARS |
[28 Apr 2003|01:40pm] |
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sick |
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I swear to god I have SARS. Was up half the night being sick with the flu and throwing up last night so I've hardly had any sleep either. Plus I had to get up at 8am cuz my writing teacher emailed me while I was in Cardiff saying that the Writing deadline had been moved forward so I needed to come in on my free day. It was raining, windy and cold too, plus my umbrella broke so I really was fucked. I'm going to bed as soon as I've done this actually I'm that tired.
Cardiff was good. Took 5 and a half hours to get there because Dad wanted to see his sister on the way which was boring. Then we went straight to Cardiff and met up with Andy and the crew. It was good to see them all again. Spent our time shopping, eating, playing games and getting stoned which was nice. Also saw Nathan finally which was great. So in all I had a good time. Got myself loads of Lush stuff and a shirt like Dave's from InMe in the Underdose video.
God Mum keeps playing music and leaving doors open - does she not know I'm dying here?
Andy was still his old self yet not as funny this time as we had all grown used to his dancing, random shouts and utter bullshit he mumbled on about. Was still funny though. Jade left her fucking phone charger there though so that means she's going to have to use mine all the time!
Took 4 hours getting back thanx to my excellent map co-ordination skills!
Shit I just remembered I have to deal with Andy Deighton (the worst teacher in the world!) tommorow! Well if I'm feeling really bad I won't go in.
We are looking after our aunt's dog Meg for three weeks, she's comming tonight. She's not house trained so that's going to be a bugger cleaning up her piss everywhere. Plus she might eat or kill the cats. They'll probably run away so I'm worried about that too! My life is so shit!
That's all to talk about really. I'll probably remember more stuff to talk about later but right now it feels like my brain's stopped working...
hi ppl, sup? ya should b speakin', like, AMERICAN
ENGLISH, ya know??? if ya ain't american, u
ain't nothin', dude!!!!!1
What language are you supposed to speak?
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| satisfaction |
[22 Apr 2003|02:41pm] |
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I think last night was possibly the most eventful night of my entire life and one which I'll remember for years to come. Last night I went to see InMe at Cleethorpes and this is what happened:
We managed to get there ok even though Dad was late again. I got right to the front and waited with a bunch of people an hour and a half listening to the same Audioslave and Rammstein albums over and over which was very boring. Finally the stage was kicked into action with the likes of Slam Cartel which were the crapest band I've seen in a long time. Prior to the gig everyone I knew was ranting and raving about how pathetic they are and now seeing evidence of these claims - I whole heartedly agree. What the fuck are 30 something year olds doing playing to a bunch of 13-18 year olds? They were obviously influenced by the Chilie Peppers cuz I think I heard what was an attempt at fast talk or "rapping". Rap/metal is dead gone and burried - and this weak arsed performance confirmed it. Stripping off their shirts just to try and get a cheer from the audience was an act of a desperate man.
Now I think Elviss are alright, I've seen them before, nice guys, fine tunes. But next to Slam Cartel they look like gods! So after another half hour of waiting they came on and did a damn fine show. With a nice selection of mellowed and high energy songs that satisfied the audience greatly.
After another half hour InMe graced the stage with their performance. The audience were singing along and everyone was having a good time. Everything seemed to be going well until all the technical crap fell apart. Dave was left on stage just talking trying to fill in. Well that's Cleethorpes' Winter Gardens for you! Dave whipped out his acoustic guitar and went into Ruins which sounded pretty kool and everyone singing along, clapping and getting their lighters out. They did another 2 songs then went off stage for 10 mins while the techinal staff rumaged around on stage trying to sort things out. Then they came back on to sing the last song, Underdose.
I got myself another shirt from the merchandice stall. This time an olive green skinny lol! We went round the bus and waited for like an hour. They kept poking their heads round the door, they must have been waiting for most people to piss off. There were about 40 odd people there at the beginning but after an hour half of them went. Dave and Si came out. Si was in a tank top bearing all his arms and me and Jade went "ooooooooooooh" at the same time really loudly and he turned round so fast and looked at us I just burst out laughing!
I got to Si first and said:
"Simon, may I be the first to inform you of your fan club."
and he was like:
"A fan club just for me?"
and I said:
"Yeah! The Simon-is-also-a-member-of-the-band club."
and he laughed as he signed my ticket. I told him what a big fan I was and that I was at the Neptune video shoot and we talked about that. I also said I talk to his sis on MSN and he was laughing about her.
I got to Dave and told him what a big fan I was and he asked for my name! I was gob-smacked but told him and he was like:
"Amber - I thought I might call my daughter that."
and I was like:
"Well please do cuz it would make my life!"
and he smiled and laughed at me.
Then later on after he signed everyone's thing and was just chatting with people I said to him:
"I think I might know some people who know you, Colette, Siobhan and Becki?"
and he was like:
"Yeah I know who they are, they're kool."
Then when he was saying goodbye to everyone he gave me a hug and said:
"See ya, and make sure you give Colette, Siobhan and Becki my love!"
So I dunno, hope I made a good impression. I think Si liked me cuz he was really getting into a conversation with me over a lot of things lol. Si went in after about 15 mins though. Dave stood out in the cold for a full on 30 mins and didn't leave until everyone was satisfied. Hell I was!
So there's my lil review of the night for you! Hope you liked it but I know most of you don't even bother to read it anywayz. lol! My body just fucking aches all over. Plus my ears are still ringing. I was right in front of the speakers so I was absolutely shitted. I have to do a lot of stuff today too like pack my bags for Cardiff tommorow yay!
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nervous
depressed
weird
frustrated
So I'm going out of my mind thinking about him.
HAPPY 10TH BIRTHDAY HAZEL!!!
angry
awake
love that icon!
excited
full
HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!
