| Only for.. |
[24th July 2003, 1:51pm] |
for those who came here through pitas, sorry ehk. you can't read most of my entries. nyahaha. most of the entries aku tarok "friends" mode. only those crappy ones i leave open. pasal apa? because this is where i blurt out a lot of things. inside out. memories..isi hati..usus² perot semua terkeluar. nyiakz. all my whinings are here. secretz~
okay. chao dulu..
|
|
|
[14th July 2003, 12:40am] |
|
tomorrow sekolah! argh. no more slacking. argh. tidak. no mood to go to school man. always hated school. i'm going to go to school and go back straight home. malas nak buat kawan and lepak² ni semua. laziness..
|
|
| Home.. |
[13th July 2003, 11:52pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 tired |
] |
-susun sepuluh jari-. sawadika. nyahaha. kan dah cakap hello in thailand. so i'm back home. weee! rindu ar sama bilek aku. miss my bed and pillows. miss my computer the most. balek je terus on computer. geek. hmm..miss apa lagi? nothing ar. kalau nak miss orang, cam orang tu nak return the miss. apa crap aku bual. skip..
what to blurt? the trip was okay. so first went to pattaya. bagos untuk relax je ar tempat tu. ada belambak sak bars. kalau ada bars, mesti ada pelacur. tip top peh pelacur! pow gedebow. mata naik kero ar. aku bagi sepuluh bintang! barang baik macam ni susa datang. felt like hooking up with one. wahahhaa.
time kat pattaya, singgah satu pulau. coral island. pathetic. boring. nothing. kosong. tak ada benda. only managed to do para-sailing. nice. but tak seram ar. thought of going jet-skiing. but laziness. jadi apa² jangan turun coral island. coral secondary boleh. banyak chicks. ahhaah. tak abes² dengan chicks.
next stop, bangkok. packed abes. traffic rabak. unless during non-peak hours. apa ada kat sini? barang² kau dan aku. teenagers' stuffs la. t-shirts, jeans, bags, shoes, slippers, rings, chains, badges. belambak. pegi ar rounding sampai mabok. tu pon cannot finish. kalah bugis. kalah beach road. senang cakap kalah everything la. and apa aku beli? budget jeans. budget shoe. budget t-shirt. ni pon aku tengok and grab. favor tak favor lain cerita. pasal nak senang kan hati parents ar. dah bawak jauh² tak angkat apa². lagipon aku peh orang nak beli barang takes time. tengok lepas think. worth the money ke tak. then rounding lagi survey tempat lain. kalau aku buat macam tu, dudok sana setahun pon tak cukop.
that's about it. nice. must go again. kalau dapat go with friends mesti fun maut. perempuan sana pening jugak. sampai aku terfall in love with a shop owner's grand daughter. haha. sweet. budak sekolah mana entah. lawa nya. lagi dengan unifom. fuh..cair. senyum dia lagi. adoi. matair dengan budak sana pon cantik. haha. budget apa. cheap. tak pakai banyak duit. hehe. tapi paling best aku nampak budak² punk. baik ar. tak expect budak sana pon ada punk. band t-shirts, black jeans, metal stud belts and chains. power. aku pulak tengah pakai baju rancid. angguk je ar dengan dia orang.
|
|
| Fly away.. |
[8th July 2003, 7:15pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 excited |
] |
hey you~ i'm talking to you~ lalalala~
nice song from plain sunset. people off to school. while i'm left rotting at home. nyeaarggh. takpe ar. i'm not looking forward for school anyway.
and tomorrow morning i'm off to bangkok. and i heard we're going to stop by coral island. macam besh. can take pictures with the fishes. who knows i might bump into nemo and friends. yippie! boleh dapat apa eh sana? harap² ada barang baik. baik and murah. aku nak skate shoe! asek cakap je. tapi tak beli². argh. that's the only thing i'm looking for at bangkok. aku tak percaya dia orang punya baju. size tak universal. besar jadi kecik and vice versa. anyways, anyone nak kirim apa²? belacan ke? soup tomyam ke? or mat kotai? nyahaha~
shitty man. aku belom go through the maths thing! mampos. kalau ada test confirm fail. zero apoint don't know what. argh. argh. argh. nanti kena label b.b.i.m. apa tu? Budak Bodoh In Maths!
carry on with the programme~ carry on with the show~
|
|
|
[6th July 2003, 2:23am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
satisfied |
] |
cleared two more things off my wishlist. yes! slowly la. bit by bit. ada duit baru angkat. kalau takde terpaksa aku cium bau barang tu je ar. what to do. if i don't control my budget, cukop time ikat perot ar.
went to town with allif again. asek dia je. cian aku. so i got my metal stud belt and mesh cap. yippie! finally. but i looked weird with the cap. asal ar? maybe pasal rambot pendek gila. problem betol. nevermind la. boleh wait sampai rambot aku grow.
today played around with the camera. took stupid shots here and there. aku dah upload all nineteen pictures at my gallery. fun jugak eh ada digicam dalam tangan. dulu peh susa nak amek gambar. nak beli film. nak develop the film. pastu need a scanner to upload pictures to computer. seksa dok. ahh. technology..
and tadi bertembong dengan juli. macam setiap kali jejak kaki kat town nampak dia. padahal aku kawan dengan kawan dia, wani. tapi juli sweeter. heaheha. sempat aku amek gambar dengan dia. buat kenangan. takde nombor dia, gambar pon jadi la. ahakz. and i made friends with the shop owner and salesgirl kat far east. woohoo. next time boleh bual crap lagi dengan dia orang.
|
|
|
[27th June 2003, 10:59pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
bouncy |
] |
lalalala. what can i say here? hmm. let's see. okay. let's start with the main event. i'll be staying at nanyang afterall. hope i made the write decision. semalam aku ask two friends. sam taking etcm at temasek. dia cakap course senang. tapi boring gila. and jannah taking mechatronics at singapore polytechnic. dia pon cakap senang. tapi fun. err..fun eh? boleh percaya ke tak ni orang? takpe..i'll give it a go.
argh! allif pegi beli the metal stud belt dulu! bedebah betol! member potong jalan. lawan taukay! mana boleh jadi ni macam. takpe². aku wait. tadi saw the mesh cap and belt i wanted. going to get them soon. probably before school opens. and i saw a sling bag. yang common budak² pakai. it's all white with a few black lines. nice ar. black and white. should be getting the bag too i think. i'm sick of my sling already. so three stuffs to get. yippie! this time confirm. i've put aside the money.
what else? lalalala. applied for my ez-link. aku perlu ke benda tu? for the moment it's a YES! senang sikit nak merayap. kalau pass lesen, benda tu boleh bakar! uhauhaah. and my father's going to terminate my phone? oh man. abes ar gini! dah kena pakai pre-paid. sengkek nya..
|
|
| Still thinking.. |
[27th June 2003, 1:29am] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Useless Id - Just Friends |
] |
okay. i'll just blurt something. argh! still thinking about this school thing. my mind's blank. i can't think of anything. like i said in my previous entry, i'm so familiar with the school. now i've got another shot, might as well take it right? chances macam ni susa datang. but then eh, what my mom said made me think twice.
let's say the same thing happen again. it's not that i'm hoping for it to happen. let's say la. okay, then i'll be thrown out again. and kalau kena buang the second time, gone case ar. no hope liao. allif pulak asek suro aku amek temasek. he kept saying, "amek temasek sua. nanti boleh keco² dengan aku.". and if i was to sway to temasek, it's because of friends. the same reason why i chose it/icp back then.
tapi dalam hati ada teringin nak masok nanyang jugak. i don't know why. macam nak everything afresh. make new friends. have a clean record and stuffs. and one more thing. because of someone. haha. i won't go into detail about this. all i can say, i like her but we don't "click". haha. confirm tak dapat. okay. fullstop.
now i want to lay back. tengok kipas pusing². and think my way to sleep. night fellas.
|
|
| Dilemma.. |
[26th June 2003, 7:24pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 thoughtful |
] |
hey. know what? someone from temasek polytechnic called me up. he asked me whether i'm interested in joining them. doing etcm. i forgot what's the long name for that. electrical, something, computer and mechanical engineering. something like that la.
time direct admissions exercise, i applied two courses from temasek and two from nanyang polytechnic. but then, lepas pegi interview kat temasek polytechnic, dua² aku tak dapat. instead nanyang polytechnic offered me.
tapi asal sekarang baru dia orang nak panggil aku eh? dari tu hari tanak! bodoh betol. aku dah ada matric card nanyang lagi. the fella said he will handle all the neccessary stuffs. hmm. i've always wanted temasek. i'm so familiar with the place. all my friends are there. tapi nanti the same thing happen again pulak. tak boleh belaja. keluar tanduk. hehe. but then again, it's not their fault. it's mine. aku yang malas. lalalala.
what to do? what to do? haiz. how ar? argh! lecey betol. siapa² ada suggestions? maceh.
|
|
| Layout again.. |
[26th June 2003, 7:11pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 creative |
] |
oh boy. got so much time to spare. i'm glued to the computer for long hours nowadays. i'm becoming a geek! oh oh!
so i came out with this layout for my blurty. but can't be bothered to change the "friends" and "calendar" page. maybe some other time.
abeh sekarang macam mana? confused man. nak carry on kat blurty? or tranfer pegi pitas? hate making decisions. lalalala.
|
|
| Do i have to.. |
[25th June 2003, 11:59am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 anxious |
] |
hey! i came out with a new layout. whoopiedoo! but then eh, i don't know how to apply it on blurty! haha. bodoh nya. bodoh sebodoh bodoh nya. well i'm still figuring out how to. argh! i'm such a sucker. anyone out there? help? -sigh-
so my new layout is plain and simple. very white. very clean. very suci. ahaha. no fancy stuffs. but hey, aku buat benda ni without anyone's help tau. don't play² ar. dengan penuh commitment pulak tu. hehe. since knowledge aku dalam benda ni sikit peh low, kira ni ok la. kan? kan?
hmm. nak tukar gi blog sana ke tak eh? thought of using that blog next month. or maybe when school starts. tapi nanti rindu pulak dengan blurty ni. quite user friendly. cuma "styles" punya part je. confuse kan aku je! if i can transfer the codes to blurty, then i'll stick to blurty. if not lecey ar nak baca blurty nya journal.
okay ar. takmo long winded. kalau senang, drop by kejap kat sana eh? boleh lah. please? hehe. and tell me what think about the layout and stuffs ar. comment tau!! kalau tak aku pancung! ahaa. kidding je.
proceed to xLost_Soulx
|
|
| Yawnz.. |
[23rd June 2003, 7:43am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sleepy |
] |
boo! terkejut tak? hee. what the hell am i doing here early morning? just feel like updating this thing. well my mom's out of town with her friend! yippie! pegi mana entah. either tanjung pinang or batam. my dad's not back from work. and if dia kena overtime ke apa, then i'll have this house to myself. best! aha. okay lar. i'm going back to sleep. -yawnz-
|
|
| At home with.. |
[22nd June 2003, 7:28pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bored |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Juliana Theory - Don't Push Love Away |
] |
i deleted my previous entry. because it sucks. haha. terlalu emo la. emo is no good for the health. ok here goes. friday, saturday and sunday. tiga hari dudok kat rumah! i'm stuck with tv, tv, tv and more tv. macam² cerita aku tengok. makin rabun la nampak nya. this sucks man. i don't have a life. and i need one fast. -sigh-
ah yes. yesterday was the twenty first. on this very date we broke up. and that was seven months back. haha. time really passed by so fast. pejam celik pejam celik dah tujuh bulan. and seven was her number. our anniversary's on the seventh. her birthday's in july and that's the seventh month of the year. bla bla. macam² la. malas aku nak dwell on this thing. bikin semak kepala otak aku je. hee.
so today will be another tv day. wedding singer is at 10pm. whoppie doo! favorite sey dengan ni show. semua adam sandler dengan jim carrey punya show aku favor. enjoy the show aite.
|
|
| Outrage of modesty.. |
[19th June 2003, 11:11pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
okay |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
20 Disc Changer - I've Tried |
] |
finally sak. went jamming with outrage of modesty at ashry's house. budget ar. no need to fork out money to book a room. just transport money je. best! and i brought my bass along. best! but the session didn't turn out well ar. managed to play three or four songs je. crap. and i suck! must learn more songs and techniques sak. shitty. the only highlight of the day was they managed to come out with a tune. nice! macam melodic. tinggal nak put in lyrics je. best! harap² they stick to this tune.
and i heard two of my uncles kena retrenched by sats. wah sey. sad man. tak perna² family members aku kena retrenched. lagi ni dua pakcik ada three and four kids. confirm perit. this is life.
besok north east line bukak eh? train dia lawa eh? hmm..macam nak main train pulak. just for fun ar. ada siapa² nak ikot? haha.
|
|
| Just another song.. |
[18th June 2003, 2:53pm] |
at home again! i'm rotting in hell. argh! i'm officially broke. so i got to make full use of the ten bux i have right now. asik broke aja. crap siot. i'm broke not because i spend alot. it's wasted on my fares! damnit. and hopefully my phone bill won't fly up high this month. kalau tak confirm kena potong.
okay. i went through my punkrock collection just now. i came across this song. apa macam aku boleh terlupa pasal lagu ni pulak. it's called in my dreams by ace troubleshooter. nice lyrics. enjoy..
Tonight i can't sleep
Because of all the thoughts i keep
Running around inside my brain
Sweet memories come back
Yeah thoughts of you attack my head
Making me go insane
In my dreams you are there
And in my dreams we are a pair
Why did it have to turn out this way
In my thoughts you are there
And in my every thought you care
The look of love in your eyes, i'll stay
Remembering you and all the little things you do
So i look away and fake a smile
Waiting for a sign, wishing i could drop a line
I'm missing you, it's been a while
A brand new page, a whole clean slate
It's too bad, it's without you
And the smile that i wore is gone, you shut the door
A friend but i'll always want more
So now i just hope that the world is treating you fine
And i hope your memories are sweet as mine
Goodbyes are hard
|
|
| And so.. |
[17th June 2003, 11:58pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
blah |
] |
another boring day passed by. two days straight at home. except tadi got my practicals. and so i'm stucked at practical 7. nabey. why? all because i forgot to check blindspot. argh! small mistake sak. takpe². harap² nanti tp lepas sekali je. hee.
who's been playing prank calls on me ar?? fucker. ring one or two times then letak. number private pulak tu. abeh hari ni, entah number handphone siapa pulak keluar. got two unknown numbers. called them up..kena cancel. message dia orang tak reply. buggers...
and this maths thing. haiz. tengok buku dia je dah boleh tercengang kejap. when's the last time i did maths? two years ago! and that was e maths. lecey betol ar ni mechatronics. ada abit a maths stuff. argh!
|
|
| What happened.. |
[16th June 2003, 1:12am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
drained |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Plain Sunset - Immature |
] |
chak! ehe. finally, update jugak aku benda ni. managed to keep myself away from this thing for three days. not bad eh? aha. macam malas ar. anyways there's nothing much going on.
okay. last friday had my school orientation. how was it? sucky! with all those stupid stuffs. treasure hunt, husband and wife, talks and bla bla bla. boring gila sak. class aku pulak no malay. actually ada satu but he didn't turn up. buragas betol. and the number of malay boys was around twenty. okay jugak ar tu. dia orang boleh ajak bual. baru orientation dah boleh kacau lecturer. apa lagi kalau dah click eh? aha. mesti kecoh.
just now went for the gig at substation. penat sak aku mosh and skank. boleh tercabot siot ni lutot! then got a cut on my shin. gara² kena whacking dengan satu budak skin. perit sak! and got some more cuts and bruises on my arms and left elbow. aha. fierce betol. at first aku dengan allif je. i don't know what the hell happened to my bandmates and some other friends, nazmi..lukman and all. aku macam kena outkast pulak dengan band aku. luckily ada ashry punya group. hang around with them. then there's usop punya group pulak. jadi kejap dengan ashry kejap dengan usop. selamat ada spare kawan. ehe. and members dia orang pon relek. nice bunch. along the way, saw some past friends. liza, ijad, ijad's brother, sutan, farhan and bla bla bla. liza betol punya hot. makin hari makin hot. and there's liza, the rudegirl. think she recognised me. but we're quite far apart ar. and i don't have the balls to go up to her. aku tak boleh face to face dengan sweet girls. malu ar! aha. and seeing those couples skanking together buat aku jealous je. kalau la aku ada girl yang into punk music and local scene kan gerek. holding hands and skank to the tune. wouldn't it be nice? bawah sinaran bulan lagi. romantic abes! aha.
and about my band with luk. aku rasa aku dah kena buih sama dia orang. found out they went jamming without me. celaka betol! members macam ni. takpe². i still got my other band. hopefully they won't turn their backs on me. cuma one thing je aku tak favor..ikay. ego dia sikit peh high. ngada² nak mampos! what to do. dah naseb aku dapat members perangai. bear with it je ar. chao dulu.
|
|
| What's wrong with my foot.. |
[12th June 2003, 1:49am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 irritated |
] |
i'm going to make this one a quikie. i didn't get my 20 bux deposit for the uniform. fucker. i'm running low of cash! argh! had my practicals today. 2 more to go. then it's evaluation or something. lepas tu buat revision sikit..both road and circuit. and then i can go for tp! yippie! so my target is by mid august. lalala~
argh! my foot! it's itchy. it's swollen. it's like a chunk of raw meat. merah gila!! i can't see the veins or even bend my toe fully! and i'm sort of tempang for the moment. i think it's worse dari tadi siang. shit. this sucks. hate it man. hopefully it'll be okay by tomorrow. because maybe i'm going out. planning to meet liza, the rudegirl. but don't know ah. she's with 3 friends. and me? nanti macam outkast pulak. siapa eh aku nak ajak? hmm.
isk! gatal siot ni kaki!!
|
|
| Up and rising star.. |
[11th June 2003, 12:30am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 good |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Punk Cover - The Way You Love Me |
] |
star? who? me ar! siapa lagi! uhuahuaha! first, i'll be the best bassist in my hometown. next, on this island. ahakx! beranganz. bla bla bla. don't bother to read on aite. hee.
anyways, i called up allif to come down to my house. for what? oh you didn't know? i'm gay! and allif is my partner! kekeke. but sshhh. takmo bilang orang tau. nanti keco! hee. relek eh. main² je. mampos nanti aku kena label gayboy. actually ingat nak suro abdillah turun sekali. but late one step. dia dah keluar. wasted. jadi allif turun seorang. lanyak bass macam nak peca siot bumbung!! serious! tak bedek! naseb baik neighbour tak complain polis. kalau tak dah kena hantar lockup. niaya bin jenaya betoi.
abeh we kaco all those perverts kat #melayu. haha. pathetic sak. lagi² laki. semua ask around ada girl ni ar girl tu ar. what crap. and we act as a girl kat channel tu. buat plan nak ajak jumpa² ni semua. haha. kekek siot! macam karenah ada kat dunia. lame assholes. haiz.
to round off the day, aku dengan allif singgah compass point. it's infested with minahs. and kat luar mamats pulak. argh! dunia dunia. ahh..why bother. it's their lifes anyway. ok ok. tadi aku nampak satu polo tee. light pink. nice ar. going to get it one day. nak step gerlish ar pakai light pink. hee. and i think i need an amplifier. small one. boleh tarok dalam bilik. convenient (correct spelling? heck care ah!). and i want some nice stickers! for my helmet and bass. fuck man. ada je nak beli tapi duit takde. haha. takpe. slowly.
|
|
| Stupid me.. |
[10th June 2003, 12:44am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
excited |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Mest - Long Days Long Nights |
] |
i'm such a dork! haha. the cable is in the bag all this while! stupidity! naseb baik aku pegi korek² bag tu punya compartment. kalau tak aku tak tau ada cable. it saved me a couple of bucks. yey! but i found out a little too late ar. around kol 12am tadi. jadi tak kan nak pegi plug in and main kan. mampos polis datang. hehe. terpaksa lah aku wait besok. argh!! can't wait!! maybe i'll dream of becoming a superstar tonight! hee.
and yah. i've been thinking whether to cut my hair or not. macam rimas pulak. sideburns makin tebal. abeh length belakang macam long. but then the fringe short. when it's dry dah macam ah beng sak! stupid! nak potong ke tak nak eh? hate those regret feeling after cutting my hair. nanti dah potong rasa tak potong lagi baik. kalau tak potong nak potong. haiz.
|
|
| For the girls.. |
[30th May 2003, 1:31am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 uncomfortable |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Jimmy Eat World - The Authority Song |
] |
hey! just got back from work ahz..belom mandi, belom makan..belom whatever! badan tengah melekit! panas! tak boleh tahan man! i'm working 5 days this week!? wah sey! tired ar! tapi tak pasal, keje dapat duit..tak keje tak dapat duit, simple je. and tomorrow swapped shift with hafiz..i'll be working from 11-6, because i got evaluation later at night. argh! evaluation again! this is my thrid attempt! first one, kena 4 immediate failure and 14 demerit points..second kena 1 immediate and 28 demerits! pala but betol! bila nak game macam ni!? as if can make it before july eh! hopefully can ah. then i don't need to think about taking the bus or train to school or anywhere. can go rounding one singapore sepuas hati! nyahahahhaa~~
hmm..i heard naz, luk and froz want to jam tomorrow! but i'm working! damn it! must turn them down again! dengan allif pon sama. planned to jam on wednesday but i can't make it! crap siot! i felt so the very at guilt! macam aku jadi penghalang pulak! argh! kot² dia orang cakap belakang aku kepe eh..mati! how to maju sey ni dua² band?! it's all because of me! i got no time for them and no time to learn my tabs!! fuck me ah! maybe i should just quit the band...
anyways, while updating this bloody thing..tiba² je ade idea nak write something. bila dah datang idea, macam boleh keluar! bila dah takde idea, otak buntu abes! perah² pon takde hasil! huhuahuaha! by the way, this one is meant for the girls. entah asal aku nak tulis pasal perempuan pon aku tak tau! don't ask me! but one thing's for sure..my writing sucks to the max!? need to digest more words from the dictionary ahhh! and i need a metaphor! erkk!! okay²..here goes! it's called heartbroken..
there she was
heartbroken again
being left out in the cold
by her boyfriend
she waited for him
and gave her all
but he couldn't care less
and treated her like a doll
never did she realised
that the promises he made
were lies instead
she followed her heart
without even using her head
all shattered and torn
she now lives in a broken dream
she tried to move on
and leave the past behind
but there's one thing she can't deny
the feelings she had for him
she can't hide
|
|