||Clocks - Coldplay
| Brynn entered her dorm room quietly, just getting back from work. Well, it's been one hell of a day. Two fingers reached behind to her back pocket of her light denim jeans while pulling out a baby pink cellphone. A hand massaged the top of her head, moving her hair along with it, and setting her phone and keys down on a counter with her free hand. What I need... What I need is a vacation. The thought of a vacation put a smile on her face. The first thought that came to mind was Marc and her in London, then later meeting up with two of her favorite men, Gideon and Robbie. They would show her the sites and one of her dreams would be fulfilled. It was always her dream to travel the world before she got married, and going to London would be her first step. Not being out of the states didn't help her. Another trip would be somewhere exotic, she always wanted to plan a trip with Ryan to someplace other than home. It would be a trip of a lifetime, that's for sure. Once her computer screen was up and running, she sat infront of it for a good ten minutes, trying to think of what to write about. There's so much I could say.. |
Thinking that I want you,
And you know that I coulda got what I want,
Anybody feel that,
When you know,
But your heart lets it go 'til it's all gone,
It's not like I don't see it,
When it's coming on,
Still I feel like I don't belong
To start things off, I'd like to say I'm sorry to my friends who feel as if they're being pushed away. Talking to Max made me realize that I really was pushing away a lot of my friends, and they were not liking it one bit. Honestly, I thought it was for the greater good of everyone. I much rather see y'all happy, than me bringing you down with my problems. It seems as if my plan fell through, and it just made a few of you angry with me. I love you guys, I truely do, but sometimes, a girl's just gotta keep to herself now and then. I'm trying to push you away because I can't just let my problems flow sometimes. Talking about my... " problems " just makes me feel weird and stupid. It's not one of my best points but that's just the way I am. I am sorry though.
| Her mind returned to Max's conversation earlier. It really broke her heart for him to yell at her, telling her how shitty she's been lately. I just hope things are better now. She knew she wasn't the only one with the broken heart though. Josh Stevens. A light chuckle echoed through the room as she moistened her lips, then continued to type loudly on the keys. |
The trouble with me is,
I'm the sum of the parts of something wild,
It's a little big thing,
And I know it,
The trouble with me,
Is I got the heart of nobody's child,
But I don't wanna be free,
That's the trouble with me
Josh Stevens. What's there to say? I'm sure half of you have heard about him or have seen him yourself. He's a great guy when you really look deeper into him. Something just keeps you hooked, and as weird as it sounds, his laugh was always something I loved about him. It would be so heart filling and so honest, nothing was like it. To say the least, I broke his heart last night. I don't know who we were trying to kid by going to the prom together, but we pulled it off for the first five minutes. I said yes because I thought we would have a good time, a really good time. The minute I would step into the room, I thought things were going to be okay and those feelings would be pushed to the back of my mind. I thought that I would be happy again, with someone other than Ryan. I thought that I was over Ry, and that I could move on with Josh, find something greater in him. He wasn't the one for me.
Thinking that you know me,
But it's just when you think that,
You know it,
Wishing you could show me how to stay,
But I can't anyway,
Not this song,
Don't you know that I get weary,
I get so lonely but it's just no use at all
In the beginning, I loathed the boy and I didn't want to be near him, but I just came back for more. It turned into another infatuation with those.. remarkable kisses. Those weren't just kisses Josh, they were filled with these strange emotions, but we both knew what was going down. Just when you think life is going perfect, it takes a sharp turn.
You try to make sense of it you try,
But it's not really me who's saying goodbye,
It's like I got some kinda split personality,
You know nothing ever gets control of me like this,
What can I do?
| Brynn started to remember how good he looked last night, in that tux they picked out together. She remembered the look at his face when they were dancing, the look on his face when she went to grab something to drink, and finally, the look on his face when she told him that this was wrong. No way in hell could she sit there for another minute and pretend as if everything was alright when they were so wrong. The wave of guilt started to run through her body, but just when she thought things were going down hill that night, she remembered another conversation. |
But as one door closes, another opens. That door that opened was an old door, but nonetheless, it opened up to me again with open arms. Ryan Corst is a man like no other. I thought my world was over until he came back into my life. We danced underneath the stars last night because he promised me a dance, and since he couldn't make it to prom, we did it out in the courtyard. I felt so silly with him being in those sweats and me being in a prom dress. It reminded me of our first date. When it was raining and he wanted to dance in the street. It made me feel like that little school girl all over again, giggly and such.
Then we kissed.
It was the first time we kissed in.. days.. weeks actually, and my god, I almost forgot how much I loved it. How everytime his lips would touch mine, I would fall in love all over again. He wanted me back. Not only as his girlfriend, but his fiancee. It took me a second before I answered him. Last time, I said yes in a heartbeat.. after the shock. This time, I didn't turn him down but I didn't say yes either. I know that I will marry him one day and I will have the best future with him, but right now, it isn't the time. We're not going to rush into anything this time. One day at a time, right Ry? There's not doubt in my mind that I don't love him anymore. From now on, it's Ryan and Brynn [ RyBrynn. Lmao. I had to do it Yuri. ] forever. Now, forever seems like a long time, but I can't help it anymore.
| Biting her lower lip, she hid that crooked grin with her teeth. I'm happy. Her cheekbones were distinguished in that beaming face of her's. The mere thought of it made her so happy. I have to call momma... As Coldplay played in the backround, a soft knock was heard from her door. She actually wasn't too lazy to get up and answer the door. I wonder who that could be... The door was swung open, and a small squeel escaped her parted lips. |
" Marc!! "