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Saturday, May 24th, 2003
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1:45p - Dancing With Myself
It was about this time last year that I still was a happy girl, don't get me wrong there are things i can get giddy and excited over but this years prom doesn't seem to be one of them. Perhaps it's because i came here a bit late and everyone was already making there plans. Hell the only person i've talked to was Bastian, whom i still like to call Sebastian, only for the reference to the little mermaid. Then again he's the only person that calls me Brooklyn besides my mother, mind you he does it to annoy me.
Sometimes i just laugh though, because i didn't use to have to put on a mask for the world to prove to them i was happy, because i was. It's not like i had to put on a show and fake a smile, because i would do those things out of instinct, now it's just as if i do it to please everyone. Maybe it's the fact that i compare myself to other people to often, i get that urge to look like someone else everyday. "Oh well she's pretty, i wish i looked like her" it's as if everyday there's a new one that i can beat myself up about.
Enough of that moping, everyone is going to prom later and i have absolutley no idea as to what i'm going to do. I could be brave and go stag, or i could do what i've been longing to do all week, which is to stay in my room and listen to Billy Idol on the highest volume it allows, to any of the people in my dormitory with me: I am so sorry if i disrupt you. But i am going to have a ball either way.
My mommy was nice enough to send me some brownies in the express mail. I love my mom, i'm glad i manage to have a relationship with her now, i remember it wasn't too long ago that i thought she was a crazy bitch from hell that was out to kill me. I guess it's because i understand her now...or something like that.
The only real thing that bugs me about Dover is that i can't seem to find a place to do my yoga, my room is too small for me to stretch and bend. I need spacccce. But i'll get over that, i think i'll actually go scout for a place now.
Ciao,
Brook
current mood: cold
current music: billy idol - dancing with myself (comment on this)
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