| View: | User Info. |
| View: | Friends. |
| View: | Calendar. |
| View: | Memories. |
| You're looking at the latest 7 entries. | |
|
|
Blurty for falling apart at the seams.
|
||||||||||
| Friday, July 9th, 2004 |
|
||||||
|
Now: Current mood: bored... tired.. Current music: Seether feat. Amy Lee - Broken Current taste: herbal tea Current hair: down Current clothes: blue shorts, and tee shirt (pjs) Current smell: herbal tea Current thing I ought to be doing: sleeping Current windows open: Real One Player, and IE Current favorite band: many... Current cd in stereo: Evanescence, Metallica, mixed cd Current crush: no one Current favorite celeb: Amy Lee, Mary Kate and Ashley Current hate: nothing Do you? Smoke?: not often Do drugs?: yeah Drink?: yeah Have a dream that keeps coming back?: not really Remember your first love?: yeah Still love him/her?: at times i think i do... its hard to get over feelings like that... Read the newspaper?: yeah when we get it Have any gay or lesbian friends?: yup Believe in miracles?: sure Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?: yeah Consider yourself tolerant of others?: yes Consider love a mistake?: nope Like the taste of alcohol?: some Have a favorite candy?: gummy bears, gummy worms, peachy O's Believe in astrology?: yes Believe in magic?: yeah Believe in god?: undecided Go to or plan to go to college: going Have any piercings?: navel. nose. tongue. 3 in both ear lobes. cartilage. upper helix Have any tattoos?: yes, on my back Have an obsession?: starbucks, thrift stores Have a secret crush?: nope Have a best friend?: a couple... Wish on stars?: not really Care about looks?: I care about mine... Love Life: First crush: long time ago... micheal First kiss: yeah a little peck in 6th grade Single or attached?: single Ever been in love?: i believe so Do you believe in love at first sight?: no Do you believe in "the one?": yeah Describe your ideal significant other: n/a Juicy Stuff: Have you ever played a game that required removal of clothing?: nope Have you ever been intoxicated?: yeah Favorite place to be kissed?: nose, tummy Have you ever been caught "doing something?": almost Are you a tease?: *shrug* Shy to make the first move?: yeah Word Association: Rubber: band Rock: music Green: grass Wet: water Cry: sad Peanut: butter Hay: horse Cold: water Steamy: shower Fast: car Freaky: friday Rain: shower Bite: ouch Blow: pop Appearance: Hair: long, maroon and brown Eyes: blue Height: 5'0 Last thing you: Bought: jeans and a airplane shirt from salvation army Ate & Drank: pizza and tea Read: astrology on the job Watched on tv: Conan Either/Or: Club Or House Party: house party Beer Or Cider: Beer Cats Or Dogs:both Single Or Taken: single Pen Or Pencil: pencil Gloves Or Mittens: mittens Food Or Candy: candy Cassette Or CD: CDs. Coke Or Pepsi: cherry coke This Or That: this Who do you want to: Kill: no one Look Like: amy lee mixed with ashley olsen Be Like: myself Avoid: caleb Last person you: Talked To: Mom Instant Messaged: Tia Kissed: Mom Cried Over: Caleb Have you ever: Dated one of your best friends?: no Loved somebody so much it makes you cry? yes Drank alcohol? yeah Done drugs? yes Broken the law? yes Run away from home? nope Broken a bone? nope Played Truth Or Dare? yup Kissed someone you didn't know? no Been in a fight? not really Come close to dying? not really. What is: The most embarrassing CD in your collection?: hanson Your favorite thing for breakfast?: french toast, scrambled eggs with cheese Your favorite restaurant?: Ruby Tuesdays |
| Thursday, April 8th, 2004 |
|
||||||||
|
Woohoo... I got promoted to Assistant Manager at FCO. I an going to get paid about $2.00 more a hour, and I will be working around 40 hours a week. So I will be getting over $200 or more a paycheck. I am really looking forward to this, I might actually be able to save for a car now. Anyways, Teaira and I are hanging out after we get off work Saturday. We are going to the antique stores to shop around a bit, then we are going to try to get Lorie to go with us to Ang's party. Then Sunday is Easter, and I'm off work so I get to hang out with my family. ( and now it's survey time ) alright.. that was quite fun.. I have to go pick up my sister soon and then I am going to hang out with Teaira for a little. Later |
| Friday, March 12th, 2004 |
|
||||||||
|
Today was yet an interesting day. I was off today and of course I was a tad bit lazy.. rolled out of bed finally around 10:45... and decided to get ready for the day, did a little of pilates and then lazed around some more. Teege called around 3:30 and I went over to her place and helped her bake up a Red Velvet cake... yummy. Her boyfriend came home around 8:30 and seemed a little uneasy and distant for some reason... I think he gets annoyed with the fact that she spends a lot of time with me... and not him. I feel bad because I know each time he begins to dislike me more and more. *shrug* Maybe I am just making a big deal out of it. I don't exactly know. Lorie, Alicia and I are going to meet up tomorrow night and then head on over to Angela's house for the get together/party. It is always so much fun out there. Yeah I have to work until 10ish though, but oh well, not that big of a deal. Tomorrow is payday woohoooo. Finally.. I could use a little bit of cash. I am looking forward to going to a lot of concerts this spring/summer... hopefully everything works out, that would be nice. Anyways I am going to work on getting my layout back together, probably tomorrow or saturday. I am going to bed now though, Night. |
| Thursday, February 26th, 2004 |
|
||||||||
|
Hey, Yet again I have let time past me by and forgotten about my beloved blurty. I am back to normal I suppose you could say. I am doing just dandy, over the ex bf.... over all the shit he did to me. I will never ever forget it but I guess you could say it was a lesson learned, a harsh lesson as a matter of fact. Moving on.... I am hanging out with Teege a lot. I love her to pieces she is so hillarious. She is pretty much my best friend. I have been hanging out with some pretty interesting people lately. Lorie and I went over and drank with her man and his friend the other night, it was fun. Well, except for the fact that I drank beer, and mixed drinks... lets just say they didn't mix together too swell. Lorie said I was in the bathroom forever I remember she was in there with me for awhile making sure I was okay. Then she said she came back in to check on me and I was asleep on the rug in the bathroom... curled in a ball. Who knows... Tomorrow is payday.. thank god, I got my cell bill and it is $75 because I went over on minutes.. dealing with Caleb... grrrrr. Anyways Lorie, Teege, and I are all going over to Ang's house to hang out with the others. We will probably all go off roading, or hay bailing. Last time we went off roading in their Blazer we went over these huge ass bumps and hills and the tire that was in the back ended up bumping up and hitting the ceiling and then it broke out the back windshield. It was crazy. The last time we went hay bailing.... I tried to jump over a barbwire fence being the stupid little drunken me.... and yeah... the barbwire was in my leg....like in the fold of my leg above my calf... they had to lift me up and push the barbwire down... it hurt but thats besides the point.The last time we all got wasted at Teege's we had Johnny pierce our ears. He put a third hole in each of my lobes... and considering how drunk we were.. they are actually even and lined up. Pretty amasing I thought. All I can say is I always have fun and its always an adventure. Enough of my never ending rambling though, I am tired and do not feel to well... night. |
| Saturday, December 20th, 2003 |
|
||||||||
|
It has been quite a while since I last posted. Obviously I have been going through a difficult time but I suppose I am doing a little better now. I'm in a confusing sitsuation, but I have come to the conclusion that confusion is an endless state of mind.... well for me anyways. I am always confused because I am tired of depending on him, yet I am always wanting him to call. I am so tired of it, I want a new life, a new me. I hate myself for loving him so much, I want to cleanse myself, or something. I am trying to get involved in different activities, such as pilates and yoga to keep myself busy. It is working a little bit. This song by Nine Inch Nails is truely amasing, I could listen to it over and over again. It is constantly on repeat because it puts me into a mood that is impossible for me to explain. Enough rambling... I will post more later. |
| Monday, November 17th, 2003 |
|
||||||||
| So things are more confusing then ever right now. I am so emotionally torn. I thought I was doing okay. He called me today, and I miss him more than ever. Why am I so dependent on him? He said sorry for everything, and sounded very sincere. He might come down next week. I really think I could use a face to face talk rather than other the phone. I am completely feeling mixed emotions. I would love to be able to talk to him though, and be friends. I miss him. |
| Saturday, November 15th, 2003 |
|
||||||||
|
A whole lot has been going on lately. Lets see... where to begin... It all started 13 days ago.. on November 2nd. I was working an overnight shift (6pm - 3am) at work, helping put out all the christmas decor. Through out the night I felt sick and just all together horrible. Around 12:30 it was just unbearable and I asked to go home a little earily. I stopped by my moms house to pick up some medicine and drove home to the apartment. I get there, unlock the door and walk in to see that half of the shit in the apartment is gone. I am puzzled at this time and walk over to the bar and turn on the light to see a note from Caleb(former boyfriend whom I was living with) and a poloroid of himself. Along side that was my checkcard and a bank statement. He pulled out all the money in my account except for $7.31. So obviously he had taken the checkcard out of my purse before I went to work that night. He proceeding by taking all of the belongings in the apartment that we had bought with "our" money and he took some of my belongings, not to mention he left me to pay rent, eletricity, insurance, and the cellphone bill. So lets recap... he leaves in the middle of the night, steals money, takes about everything along with some of my personal belongings, and leaves me with all the bills. A couple days later he calls me from Little Rock, Arkansas... he is staying with his dad. His reason for leaving : I did not treat him right. *cough* I still do not believe that I deserved all this as a result of not treating him right. It hurts a lot though. I loved him with everything that I had. I wanted everything with him and from him. I trusted him so much, and he of course had no trust or faith in me. So his dad helped him move all the stuff out of the apartment... way to be a hero dad. Caleb and I have talked quite a bit on the phone... he called me at 2:33am last night telling me he wanted me to go drive to see him.... well if you would not have left me.. you would not be asking me to drive 5 hours to see you. He said he loves me and misses me so much and I told him I would be moving back out around Jan. and he was like can we live together? Honestly... guys are so insane.. Look at what you just did to me.. you think I am going to put myself back in that sitsuation so you can do it to me again? No matter how much I still care about him and love him there is no way that I could see myself doing that right now. But I can not stand up for myself worth a shit. Anyways ... he kept calling me last and then got hateful and I would hang up on him and he would call back over and over. Well he hung up on me a couple times so I called him back and he ended it harshly by saying more rude comments and hanging up on me. This morning I wake up and I am watching tv and my cell rings and its him.. or so I think it was actually his dad Ben. He tells me to stop calling "his" house or else he would unhook the phone and hangs up on me before I get the chance to even say anything. Ben I think you should check your phone bill when it comes in and see how many times your son has called me. Well I call back and he is like "the phone is off" and hangs up. So I call my mom and tell her and she calls and he says "what part do you not understand" then my mom got hateful saying that his son stole money, my dinning room table, along with more of my belongings and left me with all the bills. She told Ben to send my stuff back and when he does he will never hear from us again. I did so much for Caleb I can not believe it. I quit working at McDonalds because he thought I was cheating on him with the guys there. I did not go to college because I wanted to get things with us working out. I was excepted to attend the University of Arkansas, my dream college but did not because I thought Caleb was important enough. So yes I will take some blame, I was the one stupid enough to put my life on hold, do what he wanted, and drop my friends because of him. What can I say... Love is blind... Guys are evil.. That is about enough ranting and raving for me. Later |
|
|
Blurty for falling apart at the seams.
|
||||||||||
indescribable.
thirsty.
confused.
aggravated.