Living in a Hypocritical christian college...   
07:55pm 22/02/2006
 
mood: anxious
music: Nickelback - animals
All they preach is try to be like God...but what do they call it when they expell a girl on bases of a rumor when there where witnesses there who verafied that nothing happen...or when some "Christian" starts a rumor about 2 friends saying they are a lesbian couple...and they go and write on her message board mmmm cock is goodand draw an ugly looking picture of a face giving head to a penis...or when they write on her roommate's message board I want a dingalingaling...(and if you did that and you are reading this I will find out that you did this to my friends)... You could get away with murder at this school if you have the right geneology...I dont know what church all of you grew up in but the ones I attended definitly didnt describe God in this manor...I stay for my major b/c you cant find a better Psychology profesor...and b/c of softball...but not the "christian" values of this college b/c the things that happen here are NOT Christian, they are something else...I got told by a non-believer that he would never become a Christian b/c he would never become a hypocrite, he said also that he did not want to worship a God who's followers condemed each other and stabbed each other in the back...he also said that I did NOT belong at Central because thats all it is...So i only ask this question if you follow God Central Christian College of Kansas then WHY do YOU stab each other in the back, pull favorites for the families you know over the students here whos family didnt go to Central, hold grudges against groups like the baseball team and other individuals, start rumors about your classmates with out going to them and finding out the truth first, say that you can judge everyone and say that you are a better Christian than they are...ONLY GOD HAS THE POWER TO DO SO AND NONE OF YA'LL ARE GOD...ITS TIME FOR THIS COLLEGE TO PRACTICE WHAT IT PREACHES...AND THAT MEANS EVERYBODY
 
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11:11am 08/09/2005
 
mood: depressed
music: breaking benjamin - rain
Hey everyone sorry I havent been on in a while but I'm in kansas now and everything but yeah today @ 11 am my mom has back surgery on her spine so please just give me some support and Sef if you get to read this I love you so much more than anything in the world and sye if you can ever find a way to forgive me please call me you have no idea how much that would mean to me...

~ Stella ~
P.S. I cant afford to bury another person close to me
 
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05:39pm 02/08/2005
  wow im in georgia at ASA nationals and wow if we win tonight we dont play till thursday everythings going great

I LOVE YOU SOOOO MUCH SEF AND I MISS YOU SOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~kEMO~
 
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havent thought of a title yet   
12:45pm 29/06/2005
 
mood: anxious
in 2 months im ending the first chapter of my life
will you be in the second chapter
with every day the time is nearer
and its all I think about
you left me and i waited
now will you wait for me
we both have plans for the next chapter
but does fate agree with the way we want it written
i'll fight fate till the very last drop of ink
to have it written my way
will you fight along by my side
or do i have to do it alone
here comes the end of chapter one
what are you going to do
i'll just turn the page


~S.M. Kinsley~
 
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10:55am 24/05/2005
 
mood: crushed
fUCK YOU DAD JUST B/C IM 18 AND YOU CANT CONTROL ME ANY MORE AND I HAVE A MIND OF MY OWN YOU WANT TO BLAME THE ONE PERSON WHO ACCTUALLY IS HELPING ME GET OUT OF THIS PLACE I CANT LIVE AT HOME ANY MORE YOU AND MOM'S MARRIGE IS FAILING... THE ONLY TIME YALL GET ALONG IS WHEN YALL ARE HAVING SEX AND YALL BOTH TAKE IT OUT ON ME... FUCK YOU I SWEAR WHEN I MOVE TO KANSAS IN AUGUST, I WILL SHOW YOU THEN THAT "BOY" WAS HELPING ME PROVE YOU WRONG NOT HELPING ME TO PROVE YOU RIGHT I WILL BE A SOMEBODY AND GET OUT OF THIS HELL HOLE...

SO FUCK YOU FUCK HER AND FUCK THAT
 
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tell me what you think...   
09:49am 24/05/2005
 
mood: aggravated
music: mudvayne - world so cold
These Last Few Years

These last few years have had there ups and downs
Alot like a rollercoaster
But as the days narrow down
The wanting for freedom fades away
And all I really want is to stay
They all say that your final year
flys by like the wind through your hair
And all I can think about is what went down
These last few years
It seems like yesterday they gave us our first crayons
Now they're giving us Calculus books and college deadlines
And before we know it these last few years are
Gone in a blink of an eye

written by : Me 8/13/2004
 
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11:30am 20/05/2005
 
mood: creative
music: goo goo dolls - iris
GOOGOO DOLLS : IRIS


And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest thing to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything seems like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
 
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10:47am 12/05/2005
 
mood: discontent
music: 3 doors down - let me go
Artist: 3 Doors Down
Album: Seventeen Days
Title: Let Me Go


One more kiss could be the best thing
One more lie could be the worst
And all these thoughts are never resting
And you’re not something I deserve

In my head there’s only you now
This world falls on me
In this world, there’s real and make-believe
This seems real to me

You love me but you don’t know who I am
I’m tore in between this life I lead and where I stand
You love me but you don’t know who I am
So let me go
Let me go

I dream ahead to what I hope for
And I turn my back on loving you
How can this love be a good thing?
I now know where I’m going through

In my head there’s only you now
This world falls on me
In this world, there’s real and make-believe
This seems real to me

You love me but you don’t know who I am
 
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10:13am 10/05/2005
 
mood: crazy
music: perfect drug - NIN
ok i know this is sounds a little childish but i was wondering like are all little nicknames givin by lovers to each other, are always good to use while having sex, and if they all are mushy... im kinda having a poll on what nick names yall use / give yalls partner.



Thanks alot,
Stella
 
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10:01am 10/05/2005
 
mood: crazy
music: perfect drug - NIN
OMGAWD Jacobi is getting married next week... what am I going to do... what I have to plan for it and i dont know what to do they are having it at my get away plantation house... and he just started planing for it.
 
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out for the count   
10:04am 04/05/2005
 
mood: depressed
music: myself - "dark love"
... april 24 i tore my memiscal ligament thats what the Dr. is hoping the MRI will confirm or rule out... if it is that means i will have surgery friday...which means that i will be out of all the activities that I love to do for 2 - 3 months...i dont know what to do now...

once broken then fixed now torn,
Stella Kinsley
 
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10:44am 26/04/2005
 
mood: blah
i have to disect a cat
 
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11:19am 20/04/2005
 
mood: cranky
Do you ever feel like you've lived another life more meaningful then the one you live now?
 
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rebels & tyrants   
11:13am 20/04/2005
 
mood: enraged
maybe one day you will understand that the more you try to dictate me the more im going to resist your help so quit using your power like a tyrant and you will see that im not trying to be a rebel i just wont take the abuse any more... the person i wrote this to you know who you are and thats that...
 
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11:11am 20/04/2005
  everyone says I kiss and tell but how can I if when you kiss me you take the words right out of my mouth  
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11:03am 20/04/2005
 
mood: cold
music: in the end
when the time comes what will be the last thought that goes through your mind...if your the last to go or are you leaving everyone behind...will they forget you will they forget me...millions of years from now will they remember what we did...or are we just gonna come and go without a trace...
 
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Angel, & Sef...   
10:08am 18/04/2005
 
mood: thirsty
music: mudvayne - happy
Ok if you really want to read my diary its in the box w/ the black rose with a red blood drop on it... but blurty to me angel is my way to vent alot like your box... i dont go in the box and you dont read my stuff as for Sef when I write things they dont mean the same as if it was someone else that wrote them... I love yall more than life its self so there thats it ... there is only one solution that you have to swallow...well we all want the old days but we can never have them...

Love,
Stella
 
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what do ya think   
10:02am 18/04/2005
 
mood: creative
music: mudvayne - happy?
The wand doesnt make the wizard, The wizard makes the wand
 
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Caffine.............................   
10:33am 12/04/2005
 
mood: sick
...Ok i have a kidney infection and i cant have any caffine but thats like telling a coke addict that they have to quit coke cold turkey yeah it sux... and what bites is that my boyfriend wont even let me have a sip... God I piss blood one day and he cracks down on me and wont even let me have one sip... damn im having withdrawls and it sux major dick... and if I do hes gonna give me the extream silent treatment ... and wow i cant believe im about to say this but i love him to much to bear that ...its the worst punishment ever.... but i want caffine...
what do i do

a broken dark angel once again,
Stella
 
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Sefs birthday   
10:23am 04/04/2005
 
mood: drained
music: cross fade-cold
today is sefs birthday and there is a tradition amongest our friends that guys on their birthday get make up put on them...well lets see as you ca guess I got him and I got him good...it was so funny... I wonder if he has calmed down any since...its amazing how when the person you love does something that if anyone else did it you'd rip their head off you cant manage to truely stay mad at them...wow...
 
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