| i cant describe it. my whole day was shattered just barely (1:30am) |
[15 Feb 2003|12:47pm] |
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mood |
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 confused |
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V-day was like any normal day. i got up at 5 for work. worked till 4. drove 1 1/2 hours to get home cause traffic was horrible. but my phone came back from Siemens and they did an awsome job fixing it and cleaning it. they even gave me a new faceplate. i trust and love that company so much now. but at least the phone works.
then i get home... my dad got me a rose.. like every year. then i went to nates and drudged through the misery of pretendig to be his gf for 4 hours. then i came home and got online.
bout a year ago i met David and i thought i loved him. then he used me and i had a hard time letting go of him. i still felt like i loved him, at least i still love the idea of david. he dissapeared for a while but he was on tonght when i got on AIM. i waited to see if he would contact me and he did to my suprise. i found out that hes Schizophrenic and just got out of physic....
i couldnt belive it. i was/am shocked, stunned, hurt and full of emotions all at once. i couldnt even talk to him, but wanted to. i cant belive i still care him and after hearing that, and what he did to me... it really tore through me. i wished i was there for him. i wished he wouldve told me. i wish he never used me. i wish what happened didnt happen so that i wouldnt care about him. but all in all i felt bad for him. but at least i can be a friend. and maybe understand things a little more. understand what he did to me. and it will be easier to let go.
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