| dreams come and go, but the memory stays |
[27 Jan 2003|03:12am] |
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mood |
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 cranky |
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music |
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eagles - take it easy |
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cant sleep again tonight. dunno if you caught it but i went psycho the other night. but thats just me. its cold tonight. colder than usual... maybe i should shut the window.
i think a lot and thats dangerous for me sometimes. i know what its like to love someone so bad, but not be able to have them. to be with them. i know what its like to find replacements. i know the debate that goes on in ones mind, i know the fight. the struggle to convince your self. its tough. 'this isnt a healthy desire. theyre not right. i cant, its not possible. they hurt me. they broke me. they abused me. the lied and never made time for me. the laughed at me and called me names... and so and so treats me better. they're the right choice' ... i know that debate. ive done it before, i dunno if i told you. i mightve tho...
but all this thinking makes me wonder where your loyalty truely lies. do you realy mean everyword you say to me? is it true, or are they more lies you tell yourself, lies you tell me and force you to believe? is the struggle truely over? or just put aside for the time?
it sounds like your able to sleep now. im glad. im happy for you. unfortunately... im now having sleeping problems. not for the same reasons.. but i cant sleep. so while your asleep by midnight i sit awake at my cmop trying to keep myself occupied.
i wonder what your dreaming of right now.
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| horray |
[27 Jan 2003|11:40pm] |
holy cow! im alive and i finaly remembered my password.
i have two journals and i write in the otherone
its late now but tomorrow im sure ill be able to write tonz
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