| ramblings... |
[25 Jan 2003|01:00am] |
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mood |
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 hungry |
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music |
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bloodhound gang - "burn mother f*cker" |
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i wanted to go horse back riding today.... but its raining.
i love the rain. the sound, the look, the smell. it cleans out the bad air... i wonder if the smell right after rain is what the atmosphere really smells like.. and the fact that the smell is gone 30 mins or so later... thats how fast we pollute it again.
come to think of it we mess things up pretty fast.. intentionally or not.
after scrubbing and yelling and all the frustration it takes to get the house clean... 5 mins later its messy again.
you clean your car and five mins later someones touched it with their grimy hands. you wash your dog or horse and they find the first pile of dirt they see. my room was painted less than 6 months ago and its already gotten stained from nail paolish, markers, smoke from my candles... dings and dents from throwing things... food from dirty clothes that were recently thrown at the wall...
roads are stained with oil, rubber and whatnots.... gum ;) yes im guilty of throwing gum out the window... ... hint.. if you roll the gum into a ball and then throw it out your window at about 45 mph or faster it will bounce :)
anyway.. enough about the dirty... im clean... i just took a shower.
i wrote a letter to braxton. i think he'll enjoy it. ive started a game of long distance chess with him. so far... after 3 months, thers only been two moves... well now three. lets see..
im trying a strategy that he hasnt studied very much. its calle the R?ti Opening.
so far ive moved kingside knight out.. then he moved his queen pawn up two, and now ive moved my queenside bishops pawn up two to meet his pawn. if you know chess notation it loose like this:
1. N-KB3 : P-Q4
2. P-N4 :
now i wait for his next letter to tell me his move. i figure he'll be gone for 2 years. and if can get unlazy and send him 2 letters a month therefore ill get 2 letters a month from him... should make fo a good game... i think. knowin me ill screw it up and loose by this halloween.
um.. lifes just been horrible today so i fugured id write in my journal. its just nonesence i know but at least its something.
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| much guilt |
[25 Jan 2003|01:08pm] |
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mood |
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guilty |
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music |
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DJ KFX - Prodigy VS> Crystal Method |
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i feel bad right now. my brother is making himself a new reed for his oboe cause i lost his other ones. no one knows it was me tho.
RECAP:
im walking around yesterday and i see this little black box that ive never seen before. so i pick it up. its about the size of a case of makeup with an odd button contraption to open it. well iwalk upstairs into the bathroom thinking its my sister makeup. when i open it up its his reeds. theres 3 - green red and blue/hard, medium, and soft. im like "oh these dont go here. ill deal with them later." as i walk back downstair i passed the little kids room and my room. i remember throwing it into someones room without thinking. i remember stopping and thinking that they dont go there i should bring them down to jays room but i dont. i figure ill get them later. then i left cause my friend took me to go see a movie. when i came home jay was frantically looking for his reeds. he told me he has a concet tomorrow (today) and he needs his reeds. well i said i saw them on the counter earlier.. which wasnt a lie.. i did see them. i just didnt tell him i picked them up. i went up to my room... then the kids room... then the bathroom... i couldnt find them. i looked everywhere cause i knew he needed them. i figure one of the little kids got to them and played with them and lost them...
but i if didnt pick them up, or throw them in some room, or i f i just got them and put them where the went in the first place.. they wouldnt be lost. therefore i feel responsible for their loss...
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