Blurty for Brad Pitt.

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Wednesday, July 2nd, 2008

Subject:These are a few of my favorite THINGS
Time:10:45 pm.
egyptian wallpaper (whatever THAT is)
armand asante
phone sex (hell yeah)
ear bobs
wild piggies
wild women
wild wombats
greek tragedies
hand made tooth picks

i can't think of anything else!!!!
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Tuesday, September 20th, 2005

Time:4:56 pm.
How many more times are you going to do this? Treat me the way you do? I give you all i have to give. Rings, pearls and all. I don't understand.

Why salieri? why?
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Friday, March 25th, 2005

Subject:John Wayne
Time:2:43 pm.
Mood: cheerful.
Music:disturbing music by Mozart.
Many things happen, involving many people, many many things happen each day.

People are born. People are stabbed brutally. People have sex, people fart people eat, they play golf, they drink perfume, they lay down with dogs, they read shakespeare, they dance the fandango with 3 purple lampshades balanced on their asses, they grab tits, they walk to liquor stores. All of these things happen each day. AS WE SPEAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did you guys know that Costa Rica is a Cenral American Republic? I went there. Last summer. The trip went well until the night I was arrested for climbing to the top of a telephone pole while shitfaced wearing nothing but a thong, and a farmers hat. I had to use ski poles to help me climb to the top. Yeah, and then I started screaming out, "Don't kill this Costa Rica!!!!!!!!! I am not you! I am not you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have to FART!" And then the little policemen arrived at the scene. The little policemen who looked so much like little ants. They're so cute. I want to have an ant farm, only i'd like to have policemen instead of ants. And then someone yelled, "You can come down now! There's no snake!" And I screamed violently! I screamed like, "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" And then I said, "I just wanted a way out!!!!!!! I'm closterphobic!"

And then came the arrest of the century! The arrest of Brad Pitt! They put clothes on me, and sat me on a room. Here is a picture of my sorrow.

Yes, I didn't know what to do with my hands so I placed them like that.

Look at my fish

That's so SEXY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah I've gotta clean my place. I've got to get some cleaning done around. I've been sitting around on my ass eating cheese doodles while watching Trading Spaces all week. Cleaning needs to be done. Vacuums and sponges need to be put to use. Some stuff needs to be separated to see the good. And then I'm going to the Zoo so that I can learn about rare and fascinating animals, such as myself! Here's another pic of me!

Yeah, that damn hat is always such a bitch to take off. It's very attached to me. \

Spanks so many spanks so many of them make my buttocks red like rare meat! REAR END!!!!!!!!

HOW I'D LIKE TO LIVE PERMANENTLY IN A HOTEL! So that I could escape the horror of catching Mozart and his butler doing "weird" stuff on my roof each morning. I just give them weird looks

I think we need to communicate better, and then maybe this wouldn't happen every morning.

I'm working SO hard to be a good boy. Really I am.

I sincerely hope that not many of my readers are in the dog house right now.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Sunday, February 13th, 2005

Subject:I have to go to bed
Time:1:57 am.
I have to go to bed. I have pillows to sleep on and bed bed beds, and blankies, applejuice, nighty night light.

Lestat? I love you and I'm sorry I drew on your pet sheep last week.

I am tired.

I just wanted to let you know that i'm going to sleep.

Goodnight Mozart.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Friday, December 10th, 2004

Time:3:19 pm.
Mood: cheerful.
Music:Tom Selleck: Bare ass under my xmas tree.
Hi! *waves* I'm in a good mood because I just watched a bunch of Christmas movies on the Lifetime channel. Yay! I love women's movies. I love the Christmas season! It's so cheerful! *dances like an elf* Sometimes I dream at night that I am one of Santa's little helpers (and no I'm talking about that Porn film that Aragorn made last year called "Santa's little helpers). I want to be the REAL Santa's helper! Sometimes I dress up as an elf. But it won't do anymore. I want to be a REAL elf!

*sigh* Oh well. I guess I'll just have to be brad pitt for now. But that's pretty cool too you know.

Well I have to go now! I'm going to make cookies! Mozart's coming over tonight! Bye!
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Monday, October 18th, 2004

Time:3:15 pm.
Mood: flirty.
My life! My life is at stake!

those evil little piggies are after me!

Why!?! What have I done!?! What have I done!?!

*cries* Oh I'm scared! I'm shaking in my boots!

Evil little piggies of doom!
Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.

Friday, October 8th, 2004

Subject:WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Time:1:55 pm.
Mood: confused.
Music:Tom Cruise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
Um!?!?!?! UMMMMMM!?!?!?! What the FUCK!?!?!

Alan Cumming was just here!!!!!!!!!

Yeah. . . .he just tried to decapitate me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What the fuck!?!?!?

I heard a knock at the door, so I hit pause on the dvd I was watching (An Affair to Remember) and I walked to the door. And whence I opened it, there he stood! Alan Cumming! Before I could even open my mouth to greet him with the words, "Hey what's UP fish Ass!?!" he gave me a huge fucking grin and and lunged at me with this mammouth sized sword of doom! I fell backwards, knocking over an end table in the process. He lept into the air with the sword above his head so I rolled out of the way, thus the sword came down and got stuck in the floor boards made of birch! He tried to pry it lose and when he finally did he fell backwards, stepping on my cat's tail (Sheila) and she said, "MeeeeeeeoooooooooowWWWWWWWWWWWW!" And I yelled, "Sheila!!!!!! Sheila run!!!!!!!!!!!!!" And I watched my little cat run off, and Alan came up from behind me, grabbing my chin, and then he said, "Hi brad! I just wanted to decapitate you!" And I responded with, "WHAT THE FUCK!?!" I'm stronger than HE, so grabbed his little balls and he cried! And then i somehow freed myself from his evil grasp and tossed him in the washing machine. I MUST CLEAN THE FILTH FROM HIS SOUL! So yeah, i'm confused. What the hell!?!?

Like. .. .


Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.

Wednesday, September 29th, 2004

Subject:i am loved!
Time:3:06 pm.
Thanks to everyone who voted for me in the beauty contest!

And thanks to mr. anonymous, who delivered 5,431 roses to my house!


i must flee now! i have a busy day ahead!
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Friday, September 24th, 2004

Time:3:28 pm.
What time are we going to the club tonight?
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Friday, September 17th, 2004

Time:2:36 pm.
^me with some chick named Ydnac
^what the fuck am I doing in that pic?
^that's my "Brad Pitt dance" I hope you like it!
^hmmmm let's see. . . who's the hottest in THIS pic? lol


huh i like smoking....

^what the fuck is that?!?
Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.

Wednesday, September 15th, 2004

Time:2:10 pm.
I really want to win this contest. So I've uploaded some more photos of myself.
Hey, don't make fun of that^ Notice how the ash tray is filled in the pic. I was stressed! I wasn't paying attention to what I put on that day. I wasn't even aware that I OWN dresses. what the fuck.

I like grass.

^stop laughing. Some freak drugged me up on the beach one evening.


heehee i'm having fun with this

Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.

Monday, September 13th, 2004

Subject:Yeah hahahahahaa
Time:1:32 pm.
Mood: angry.
Music:Potato Queens.
Well, I guess I'll submit some more gruesome photos of myself lads. Enjoy now, ya hear?






That's all for now. I fear I have updated far too many as it is. You just can't take anyore. It's unhealthy to
stare at me for such a long time. It causes depression. Yes, yes it does. Looking at me makes you realize what you DON'T have. If you wish to be reminded of what you DO have, just look at melly_belly. Lol. I don't mean to be vain, or conceited, I'm just quoting what the top scientific researchers in this country have proved after much research. I apologize for my sexy ways *crys* It's not easy for people like me and Mr. O'Toole you know!

Well, anyway, vote.
Comments: Read 19 or Add Your Own.

Wednesday, September 8th, 2004

Time:1:05 pm.
Music:myself: large muffins.
Well, I've never entered one of these beauty contests before, but I think if i'm not mistaken, I have a pretty
good shot at at LEAST 3rd place. So here are my submissions!
yeah that pic sux sorry!

^I have nice legs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

More later!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whoever votes for me gets some large muffins!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.

Monday, August 23rd, 2004

Time:1:34 pm.
So I hear that Rudolph has a crush on me? Rudolph you know, if you wanna come over later tonight, we could have a bonfire and I'll make you some smores. I must flee though. Freaking Shawn Ashmore challanged me to a fight, I'll be back shortly after I kick this kids ass. After all, I'm brad pitt! Rudolph call me...

Comments: Read 13 or Add Your Own.

Friday, July 16th, 2004

Subject:Hello asses
Time:2:05 am.
I am Brad Pitt. THEEEE Brad Pitt. . .and if you have a problem with that. . .have a word with my fucking shoe. It named me that, under the hot Tuscan sun one morning. Yeah bitch. I still have that shoe.

So, everyone wants me to have a blurty so I have one. I don't know everyone here on blurty, but I HAVE been to a few of Lestat's parties, and some people wanted me to make a blurty so I have.

Lestat is what has caused me to write.

It seems he has been sleeping for a while? He ran of with Tom Cruise's little animal that Mozart gave him at a party? Well, everyone wants the secret to my Large Muffin recipe, and you all know that I am to give it out to one single individual, and well. . . Peter O'Toole? You're pretty worthy, but I must give it to Lestat. It's time for him to wake up. NAP TIME'S OVER LESTAT! YOU'RE COMING BACK!

Lestat? I'm coming to see you. Right now. I have the recipe in my pocket, and the only way to get it is to wake up.
Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.

Blurty for Brad Pitt.

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You're looking at the latest 15 entries.