Bria's Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar]
Bria

         
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    words have no power to impress the mind
without the exquisite horror
of their reality.
- EdgarAllanPoe
   
         
       
     
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one headlight [17 Sep 2014|08:19am]
[ mood | discontent ]

finally after 11 years straight of smoking Newport 100's, I've officially quit. i also haven't been smoking weed either, but i will someday....cigarettes though, are through.
i FINALLY got a freakin' job too, at BarLouie. My 4th day of training was last night & I think they're ready to put me on the schedule ^_^
These are all things I've been wanting to accomplish for a very long time & I finally have.

However

my appetite pretty much no longer exists,
& I can't stop worrying that he doesn't or pretty soon won't love me as much anymore..

The previous issues seem so minuscule now .. Can i trade?

 comment.

social security [05 Sep 2014|04:09pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

what a fucking waste of time & gas ..
Fuck it. I'm using the free internet...idk . hack away .

 comment.

pray [05 Sep 2014|04:05pm]
[ mood | stressed ]

Almost .. i'm almost there..
i think ..

 comment.

i know that i don't know [31 Aug 2014|09:11pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]
[ music | laundry ]

i know i can offer something great.. May be even awesome to the world,
i know i have it in me to be great...

May be even awesome

i just don't know though ...
i just dno what to do 0_o

 comment.

freezie chicken [26 Aug 2014|02:52pm]
[ mood | amused ]

I'll figure it out later;
Right now I have to decide which book to read next.

Also, chicken doesn't thaw when it's in a freezer. I should take that out now..

 comment.

Briuh [26 Aug 2014|02:50pm]
[ mood | creative ]

Think I wana make a new journal, ditch this one, & start fresh✨

 comment.

Indian captive [26 Aug 2014|02:15pm]
[ mood | grateful ]

It's funny how when things aren't exactly how you'd like them to be, the stress can build & overflow into other parts of your life where it doesn't belong.
Not working for 3 months seems like a nice vacation, but what's it worth when you have no money to enjoy yourself and even worse, you watch the one you love bust their ass, just to have no money to enjoy themselves too.
I'm not saying you need money to be happy (at all) but when I say "enjoy myself" I mean being able to enjoy gas in the car, food on the table, and fresh clean clothes without worrying about not having money for emergencies.
Plus, it would be nice to actually take an actual vacation

But worrying about a job has lead me to dislike where I live, wonder if I even want to bother finishing school, and stress about the unknown future, what steps to take next, if they're the right steps...."oh! what am I doing?" "why is everything so expensive?" "So bored.."

But now that I may have a job opportunity, all of a sudden I like our apartment & am even thankful that we found it. I'm already making plans in my head for when and how I can go back to school, even starting a workout routine seems easier now.

I'd rather have a job that I hate instead of having no job and hating everything else. Not just for money, but for purpose.

Thank You God

 comment.

chicken fried rice [18 Aug 2014|05:13pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

It was a good day.
Stretched, dry.brushed, showered, tackled all the dishes, walked to the grocery store, made dinner, mailed my shirts that girl bought off me, talked to my mom n dad,
I even wore make.up today ^.^
under-eye concealer by teamine, Naked BB cream by Urban Decay, lip.stick by VS in melon out and black mascara by Maybelline

I have an interview tomorrow πŸ’–

My love is finally home from work. Bout to top off this good day with an even better night now that he's home ;)

 comment.

squeeeeeezie* [17 Aug 2014|08:37pm]
[ mood | awake ]
[ music | air.conditioner ]

my squeezie.toy [a.k.a. Andrew] is napping & I just wanna squeeze him but I don't wana wake him.. Oh the struggle.

Have a 🚬, read some more of my book "Indian Captive", stay off the internet, call my dad ...

May be if I kiss him he'll wake up ...

😘

 comment.

if i stumble, they're guna eat me alive [15 Aug 2014|02:16pm]
[ mood | determined ]
[ music | Metric ]

help, I'm alive
my heart keeps beating like a hammer
hard to be soft
tough to be tender

 comment.

argh [15 Aug 2014|02:12pm]
[ mood | confused ]
[ music | Hang me up to dry - Cold.War.Kids ]

i fucked up & walked to the store & bought 2 loosies . 😩

 comment.

🚬 [15 Aug 2014|12:56pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]
[ music | cars go by ]

stress

i need a job.. it's been 3 months. This is very unlike me.😐
& i do not like our landlord. or neighborhood. i wanna leave.
so, now's the time i decide to quit smoking (again) may be i just enjoy torturing myself..
"Oh, you couldn't be anymore stressed. Between a job, $$$issues, school, the crappy place you live, let's top it off with nicotine withdrawal, just to start smoking again once things start going good." Insane? lol no i'm sure we'll end up buying a pack of smokes tonight...

then we'll try to make things right.
till then, just gotta fight..

 comment.

till.i.hear.you.sigh [16 Oct 2013|03:17am]
[ mood | blah ]
[ music | futurama ]

go.fucking.figure, baby. you're up & it's passed 3 a.m. ;but look on the bright side: you have a piece of nicorette in your mouth. [that means something, you know..]
a-n-y-w-a-y.
set.backs.. set backs...
seems to be the trend lately for me but it's no biggie - I jump.ahead sometimes''cha.know.?
n it seems that's about to happen. cuz shit's getting boring.
i'm bored.?
it may be part of it but it's just the tip
_________
g'night ♥ xo*

 comment.

summer don't go.! fall are you here yet.? [16 Sep 2013|06:06pm]
[ mood | recumbent ]
[ music | sponge.Bob ]

fall is officially 6 days away, & the weather lately has been a great reminder of that.
i'm still holding on to the last days of summer with my sandals & refusing to wear a coat. [ long sleeves are starting to not be good enough, tho ]
UGH but I can't totally embrace fall until it's actually here. so I guess i'm sad that I only have a week left to wear my sandals..but at the same time 1 week can't go by fast enough so I could wear my boots ;]
&.bake.&.buy.fall.candles.&.take.bubble.baths.&.wear.cozy.sweaters.&.drink.hot.tea.&.coffee.&.cook.all.day.&.eat.&.sit.by.the.fire.&.read.books.wrapped.up.in.blankies.&.everything.pumpkin.&.apple.&.go.to.the.fair.&.play.in.the.leaves.&.stare.at.the.harvest.moon...&..

 comment.

check.mate [11 Sep 2013|02:34pm]
[ mood | content ]
[ music | air.conditioning ]

I dno really why he was standing on the table to play the game of chess, but he said he knew how to play & that he'd show me how too. After about 7 minutes or so he won, but I don't think he knew exactly how to play..
I told him good job anyway.
then he told me I had to give him ten dollars but I didn't have $10 so we watched cartoons instead until his mom got home.
I always love spending time with my Godson

 comment.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower [10 Sep 2013|04:00pm]
[ mood | blah ]
[ music | my.thoughts ]

"So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be."

 comment.

tequilla [09 Sep 2013|05:52pm]
[ mood | excited ]
[ music | South.Park ♥ ]

i left this morning to find out what classes i needed to take this spring & came home not too long ago with a schedule for mon. & wed. this fall..
this fall like, the 23rd
how the hell did that happen
oh well YAY.
now if i can just make some money.

 comment.

Smokkaaayyy [06 Sep 2013|03:53am]
[ mood | high ]
[ music | Ridiculousness ]

I know it's almost 4 a.m., I know this.
but i'm guna stay up anyway.
cuz it's Friday,
& I ain't got shit to do.

 comment.

Dark.Paradise* [05 Sep 2013|03:29pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

There's no remedy for memory.
Your face is like a melody
it won't leave my head.
Your soul is haunting me & telling me that
everything is fine.
But I wish I was Dead.

 comment.

Rilakkuma where you at yo* [12 Jun 2013|06:05pm]
[ mood | sore ]
[ music | Diners.Drive-ins.&Dives ]

*sigh* the past 5 days kicked my ass for some reason. my muscles hurt all over. oh right .. that's the reason ---> i'm outta shape. ugh what a tragedy ...
really though, today i'm a lump. Rilakkuma should be here chillin' .w. me, cuz we'd both be into doing the same thing: layin' around, listening to music, snacking, sitting on the swing under the grapevines .. may be even read a book.? honestly, I wana do nothing.
if it wasn't so hott out i'd take a bubble.bath*
but i'll take a shower instead, soon enough, a cool one.

later bytches xo

 comment.

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