| it's official! |
[01 Dec 2003|08:51pm] |
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mood |
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 ecstatic |
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music |
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the sounds... of silence |
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so last night i was feeling like shit and trying to sleep and then i got The Phone Call. from abby. http://www.nftyne.com/jewish_basics/text008.php3
oh BABY! i'm so excited. mainly because i'm actually a PC which has been my dream since 8th grade. and also because just look at the people i'm with!!!! jewgasm! and as jess said to me, it's cool that we met at a feb insti and now we're feb pc's together.
in other not so cool news, i stayed home today due to feeling sick. and just needing to sleep. so i slept. but i went to jazz band tonight. it was pretty good. except that sometimes i am overcome with an intense urge to throw annoying freshman boy out the window.
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| come on everyone! look at avi's underwear! |
[30 Nov 2003|05:45pm] |
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music |
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showtunes on public tv |
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wow. thanksgiving vacation was AMAZING. dinner was so much fun.
i talked about politics with garry and david for a long time and after garry got bored with us, david and i talked about israel and such for at last an hour more.
i pretty much spent the whole night basking in my typical jewish family. details are not needed because just think of what you would expect from a big jewish family and that was us.
except that elija kept pulling avis pants down and running away. and i saw rachel's new appt. it is AMAZING. gah i can't wait to live on my own.
then i spent the day with sam and we wandered around boston. for a while we just sat on a bench and watched people go by and make up stories about them. oh how i love people i can do that with. that night we went to le mis and as always before the end of the first song i was crying. but sam (being sam) was crying before it even started. the guy who played javert was beyond amazing. he convinced me that valjean should be arrested. we then went back to sam's and since it was already late i spent the night. his mom cooked us mickey mouse pancakes in the morning.
i feel sick right now, but i got happy news so i'll survive. plus i might stay home tomorrow. or just hang out in the nurses office tomorrow.
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| insert any lyric from the debbie friedman thanksgiving song here |
[27 Nov 2003|09:51am] |
well. here i am. doing homework before i leave for boston area for thanksgiving. sigh
it should be a fun few days. i love this part of my family though it makes me sad to hear all the stories of ariel and maya growing up when i only see them a few times a year. ariel is going to be a famous genius someday and i'll be excited to say i knew him way back when he threw turkey at the cat.
well. i'm off. ta, darlings.
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| EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
[26 Nov 2003|02:00pm] |
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me gusta guster |
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GUSTER AND HOWIE DAY! IN CONCERT! NEXT MONTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEEEE! WHO WILL GO WITH ME?!
::dies of being so happy::
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| insert any of the innuendos from last night here |
[26 Nov 2003|11:00am] |
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music |
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some hippy music on the radio |
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school yesterday was pretty ok. i got in all of the crap that was due and so i have very little homework over VACATION. woot.
i think they filter pot into MTA the day before vacations because yesterday everyone was crazy beyond MTA standards. like in chem ms.strongheart giggled a lot. even when she heard dan say "this chapstick makes me look like i have a boner!" and casey said "this is a waste of a day." and then in history mr.e was preteding to be a munchkin and he sang and danced. when the lady over the intercom said "is jeremiah lever in your class?" and mr.e said "yes..." and then she went away, mr.e started singing "i'll be watching you"... that police song. it was classic.
pretty much everything in history was amazingly fun.
and same for homeroom. laurel bill and i have birthdays really close to each other, so we had a party. with food. and mr.e sang.
after school amanda and i did SF work. we went to bowdoin and used the library there and not only got a TON of work done, but drooled over college boys in the process.
then she came here and went to the store to get lemons and then we baked lemon squares and did more SF work. the whole time was peppered with innuendos. and did you know that they make deoderant with glitter in it? i guess so that your armpits can look pretty. we were confused by it.
and now i can't go back to sleep so i guess i'll write an email to some kuters and then go read for the rest of the day. oh how i love vacation.
ps: only ughy thing is that it's been a few weeks now and i have no sign of any of my family realizing that i had a birthday. no cards, calls, anything. it's all been from family friends and my friends. oh well.
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| and the only things burning anymore are the pies |
[24 Nov 2003|03:10pm] |
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dar williams |
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last night i had this amazing dream over and over and over again and each time i had it, it got even better. but then i woke up and was sad because some dreams you just know won't ever come true.
classes were meh. only 6 more (school) hours until vacation. and no jazz band tonight. man we're gonna sound like crap at the concert. we haven't played together in one month and have only 2 hours left to put it all together.
at the microwave, boy was mentioned. amanda gave me a Look at that point. on the way home i was thinking about the conversation and when i became consciense of myself, i realized i had a really goofy wow-what-a-loser grin. i'm trying to do the right thing. i really am. damn hormones.
i don't really have much else to say. i have a buttload of homework to do and i should probably start.
oh yeah. today i was reminded why i hate being jewish in maine. for the next month or so in german we're a) counting down until x-mas b) eating x-mas food c) singing x-mas songs d) telling x-mas stories and we can't do any of the above geared to another religion because, in fraus words, germany doesn't really have much else. bullshit. as my 10 hour project is proving. i am already sick about singing songs about jesus and someone elses version of G-d especially when x-mas isn't even about jesus or G-d anymore. it's about buying stuff. long live the american way.
but to be a rebel, i am making latkes the day we have to bring x-mas food.
i should do the rest of my english essay now. but you know how it is.
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| don't give me any of your bloody kiwi flavored shit |
[23 Nov 2003|05:31pm] |
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accomplished |
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wheat |
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today was peachy keen.
teaching hebrew on my own was surprisingly fun and i think i did really well. plus they listen to me more than they do to lynn. maybe because i listen to them.
then it was off to the craft fair. which was more fun than it used to be. i went around selling food with sarah, tc, and some other people. we even sold the catsup. and we tried to sell tc but nobody would buy him. we even had some joint chorus and band music but they didn't like us.
sooooooo many papers due monday and tuesday. and soooo many tests. teachers must think vacation means pile on the work so that we would commit suicide just to get out of school faster.
oh that chapstick i bought was SO worth $3. i put it on 3 hours ago and it feels like i just did it. amazing.
my knees feel like someone kicked them in.
andrew said no RHPS this year. damn the boy. i guess i'll just have to sit around the house while harriet herb and my mom chat and leave me to watch the turtle nibble on letuce. you'd think he'd say "oh! my darling friend from maine who i don't see because i never went to events and now i see her even less because i'm a college boy so i should take her to RHPS." but nooooo. he has a hot date. dammit.
well... i'm off to do some of my homework 'O death.
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| once... i was a llama. |
[22 Nov 2003|05:49pm] |
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public radio, yo |
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the finding nemo party was grand. sarah amanda and i went to shop n save nay hannaford and bought juice, cookie dough, smartfood, and frozen strawberries. and i handed in my application to old munich.
about halfway through FN, we got a call from andrea and long story short, my image of a certain boy is smashed on the rocks into a million bits. but oh well. that's how life has been lately.
this afternoon i went to rabbi kushner's thing and it was cool. i knew all of the stuff he talked about from rabbi maslin and joel hoffman (joel hoffman knows more than you do) but he was REALLY funny so it was worth it.
then i went to bookland and used my 34032840385 gift certificates there and bought a buttload of books. mmmm. books.
and now i'm bored so i'll do this disguestingly long quiz stolen from zoe. ok just kidding. it was really long and i'm lazy. but my feelings from looking over it are gar to relationships. and fuck you for asking about them.
i think i'll go call sam d. because he is the most happy person and inspiring person in the world and i need that right now.
like t in a game of kickball, i'm out
PS: rabbi k said "true story" and i nearly died
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| i couldn't tell if that was a fight or an orgy. |
[21 Nov 2003|04:45pm] |
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that hip-hop cd. i should practice my dancing. |
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today was brilliant. nothing went wrong. i think that saying my internal conflict bit to amanda made me realize even more that i have to do the right thing. i still hate it and it's beyond frustrating, but oh well. i'll live.
all my classes were good today. i had control of the clicker for the slide show but i promised jerimiah that he could have it next time. my three favorite teachers all said they'd love to be my refrences for any jobs i apply for. mr. palmer went so far as to say he expected to do one of my college recomendations. mr.edmondson and mrs.galle have said the same thing in the past as has mr.evans and various people not connected to school so i have NO worries. except that every time i make fun of mr.ed he says that he'll say that i smell on my applications.
after school emu katy sarah and i drove around. at the movie store katy asked if the store had "the right stuff" as in the movie and the guy said "do i have the right stuff?" and we laughed because oh that is such a bad pick up line.
speaking of the right stuff. damn english teachers who make us donate our lives (ie 4 hours) to watch the movie and THEN write a stupid essay.
lynn hasn't given me the lesson plan yet. ergh. i may just have to teach them all how to play hebrew baseball.
in true us style, sarah and i decided to have a finding nemo party tonight. so yay.
like the door they kicked to use as a strecher for lincoln when he go shot, i'm out.
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| PS (larry tobin style) |
[20 Nov 2003|08:16pm] |
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it's my bat mitzvah aniversary. 4 years.
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| 125 people? that's not a party. that's... a big party. |
[20 Nov 2003|07:41pm] |
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jew music |
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today was meh. i was in a crappy mood for a while because i keep getting calls from israel and nearly everyone i know there is having a really hard time. not that it was eaisier a few weeks ago, but everything seems to be falling apart. i bet in 50 years this will be like world war II or something where all the kids will think "isn't the solution clear? why didn't someone just say 'STOP! this is WRONG!' and then fix it?" and that will make me cry and lecture the younger generations because that's what everyone i know thinks NOW only were so immersed in the situation, that everyone who has ideas on how to fix it is idealic or dreaming or only seeing one side of the issue.
i am having internal issues with someone and i know there is a right and wrong thing to do and that i need to do the right thing but i hate it so much.
and also AHHHHHHH! to a situation that's been going on since FRESHMAN YEAR!
i know this is all vauge, but it's staying that way because if i were any more specific, i'd be stoned to death. and that's hardly an exageration.
i applied for a job and the old munich resturaunt. it'd be cool to work with germans.
i skipped my trumpet lesson today. i was not in the mood to disappoint alan. he is such a great person and always is so nice to me and i still sound awful. well... not awful. better than i expected. but meh. as "yay! you sound awsome!" as he is, after playing with jessie and beth for two hours, i can't imagine that he loves sitting in my lesson. though talking about ghetto mozart is a plus of my lesson time. in summary, i guess i just didn't want to let him down this week and tell him i'm trying my best but really just want to rip my damn braces off regardless of ugly teeth.
i made some pies for the craft fair. i get time for them so yay. baking for money. can't go wrong there.
YAY! SOMEONE WROTE BACK FROM THE GERMAN CONGREGATION! MY 10 HOUR PROJECT WON'T SUCK DONKEY (i miss yael)!!!! YAYYYYY!
art club was good. i made the flyer for the SPORTY latke making par-tay.
i heard this song today and it made me think of NFTY. it always does. especially the lines:
"Cause when I look to the sky something tells me you're here with me
And you make everything alright
And when I feel like I'm lost something tells me you're here with me
And I can always find my way when you are here...
Whether I am up or down or in or out or just plane overhead
Instead it just feels like it is impossible to fly
But with you I can spread my wings
to see me over everything that life may send me
When I am hoping it won't pass me by
And when I feel like there is no one that will ever know me
there you are to show me"
sigh. i miss everyone like WOAH. i need my biennial pictures. and to go to dec. insti. and I WANT TO BE A FEB PC. so badly. i'm not going to get my hopes up because if i don't get it but my friends do or even if they don't, i'll be really sad. only 10 more juniors can be PC's. out of so many. sigh.
this is a detached entry. which is kind of how i feel today. meh. rabbi kushner this weekend. that should rock.
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| O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay! |
[18 Nov 2003|07:21pm] |
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hip-hop cd from class |
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TONIGHT WAS AMAZING!
amanda and i went to dancing and i was almost perfect for all of them. and i got the cd of music. we plan on playing it in lunch one day and performing for everyone.
then we discussed science fair and have some plans for working on it and watching movies.
then we stayed in the car and talked about how frustrated we are with ::cough:: someone.
then my mom called and said i'm getting a B+ in chem and that ms.s had nothing but great things to say about me. amazing. this from the class that i thought i'd have a C in and that she'd kill me. well... all i have to say is multiple personalities much?
so. today has gotten even better. yay.
insert clever 'you have reached the end of this entry' saying.
PS: hip-hop dancing is sooooooooooooooooooo fun!!! even if the boy looked at us funny when we practiced in the hall. hmpf.
update after the mom came home:
chem: she LOVES me. she thinks i'm smart, funny, have great friends, am involved, other things just as good. i'm getting a B+ and she thinks i should be getting an A.
english: he loves having me in class again. i'm one of the two best students.
math: she had tons of good stuff to say about me. thinks i should have an A by the end of the year.
history: all good things. A by end of year if i work. should get a 4 on the exam he thinks.
band: mom didn't meet with him. not needed. it's band.
german: same thing as everyone else. plus she says i can "fend for myself and don't need anyone to defend me". i think that was a refrence to when i "debated" with her over my grade
in summary: WOOHOO! i expected mostly bad things especially chem and math but everyone seems to be high on pot or something and loving me. i shant complain.
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| get lucky at chucky's |
[18 Nov 2003|03:12pm] |
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music |
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wheat (yay for obscure cds to review) |
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today was the second really amazingly good day. in a row. that means that somethings going to go wrong reeeally soon. but i don't want to dwell on that because i can only think of one really awful thing that could happen/i could learn already did happen and seeing as that would depress me beyond all belief, i'm not going to think about it.
speaking of that, english was really difficult today. mentally. yesterday was hard because i knew about avi and all, but i hadn't said much. dave and i talked about him on the phone for a looong time, but never really thought about the implications. well.. we thought about them, but not out loud. but then at yaapp last night it hit me that there is SUCH a big chance that he's dead that i'd be more surprised if he's alive than not. and that hurts so much. then in class everyone chose passages that talked about dead bodies and people dying and at a few points i was ready to get up and walk out.
other than that mental pain, today was amazing. in homeroom we talked about hooking up in the play room at chuck E cheeses. in math we talked about... i forgot the word. nate said it and we had a good laugh about it.and mrs. palmer made fun of him. as she often does. swath. that was the word.
today's my mom's b-day so i asked mr.edmondson to sing happy birthday to her at her conference tonight.
tonight is my hip-hop dance class with amanda. woot.
mrs.ludwig said i had the cutest baby picture on the WoRD page. then she told me she hung the page up on her fridge. guidience people are an odd bunch.
like bright pink and orange spandex shorts, i'm out
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| Can we just say c'est la vie? |
[16 Nov 2003|07:14pm] |
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dar williams |
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365 days until i can vote.
well today started out well. sunday school was good. i get to teach the classes alone next week! me... teaching hebrew... alone. egahds! lynn is emailing me a lesson plan soon so i think i'll be ok. then becky wendy and i read books to the 5th grade. a lot of them were kids i had last year and when they remembered me i felt loved. then we had a meeting and we have some suuuuper rad events planned. then i went and spent a few hours with mike and it was fun.
then i came home and did some homework. but then my mom and i got into a HUGEMONGOUS fight about CRT/WoRD/science olympiad/YAAPP/jazz band and i feel like complete and utter shit. she pretty much called me lazy, selfish, annoying, etc etc etc.
at synagogue everyone asked me about biennial and how much i loved it and when i talked to shira (ps if for some insane reason i have a kid and it's a girl, i think i'll call her shira. nice jewish name, eh?) i nearly cried. i was telling her about reb w's program, the crazy song sessions, the service nfty did when nobody else wanted us, etc. i need nfty (especially ne) like mad right now. i feel like my life is in a hole because i know where i want to be, the people i want to be with, how i want to be spending my life, but instead i'm stuck here doing homework from teachers who make me feel equal to dirt, fighting with my mom because she doesn't want me to participate in the only things around here i enjoy, not learning what i want to and on and on.
and the worst news of today. avi's sister called. she said that he's missing. i fucking hate war. i hate israel for making everyone go into the army. i hate the palestinians for not accepting the peace offer years ago. i hate the israelis for not getting the hell out of places they don't belong. i hate the fundamentalists who keep fucking up the shard of hope that surfaces every once in a while. i hate sharon and arafat and the man who killed rabin. that's a lot of hate, but it's all true. the funny thing is i love israel with all my heart even though i don't always like them. it's a strange relationship, the one i have with israel. but if avi really got killed... i don't think i can handle it.
(i realize that i made a lot of broad and awful comments up there and if you know me, you should know i don't mean them quite as bluntly as they sound. not that it makes it right. i hate the people who fit into those statements. that's the best i can give you today.)
sigh. some birthday, eh?
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| chordgasm OR did the star-gazing chopmonks ever exist? |
[15 Nov 2003|08:15pm] |
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ani difranco |
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"Oh, the waves crash in and the tide pulls out
It's an angry sea but there is no doubt
That the lighthouse will keep shinin' out
To warn the lonely sailor
The lightnin' strikes and the wind cuts cold
Through the sailor's bones to the sailor's soul
Till there's nothing left that he can hold
Except the rolling ocean
And I am ready for the storm
Yes sir, ready
I am ready for the storm
I'm ready for the storm
Oh, give me mercy for my dreams
'Cause every confrontation seems
To tell me what it really means
To be this lonely sailor
And when you take me by your side
You love me warm, you love me
And I should have realized
I had no reasons to be frightened
And I am ready for the storm
Yes sir, ready
I am ready for the storm
I'm ready for the storm
Oh, and distance it is no real friend
And time will take it's time
And you will find that in the end
It brings you me, the lonely sailor
And when the sky begins to clear
The sun it melts away my fear
I'll cry a silent weary tear
For those that need to love me
But I am ready for the storm
Yes sir, ready
I am ready for the storm
I'm ready for the storm"
i just wrote about 93283093284 paragraphs about why that song is giving me shivers. but it was way to personal. so an edited version: wow i miss ben from tanglewood. i don't even know where he is anymore. same for jessa and aaron and all of the L1's. except rayna. who prefers to pretend that we were never friends. of course i'm the same way, but sometimes i just want to dig in his brain and see if he remembers making that crazy mac&cheese with me on the hike that had all the spices. and if he remembers the absolute amazingness of that group. but of course we haven't talked since that summer except for in science olympiad and it will probably stay that way.
i'm 17 in about 10 hours. oh baby.
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| who are matt and dave? |
[15 Nov 2003|05:43pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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something on public radio. |
] |
yesteday was pretty darn-tootin' grand. school was good, excpet that i had to take 3 make up tests from when i was gone and do that damn DBQ (which was acutally pretty easy) allll in a row. my brain was fried.
my only story from the land of testing is that i had to stay after school to make up the chem test because ms.s is a nut case. first of all, the make up test that casey and i had to do was.... you'll never guess. 30 REVIEW QUESTIONS! it was crazy because we had already done it for homework and when we pointed that out she said "oh well. i'll just have to grade it harder". bitch. but anyway. when i was done, we chatted for a while. she was nice to me. as in friendly talking. so we talked like that for about... half an hour maybe. i kept expecting to say something wrong and have her explode at me, but she kept agreeing with me and saying how proud she was that i'm doing science olympiad and science fair and how glad she is that i'm interested in that chem. project we did and how maybe i should be a physist. i started laughing and she thought i was being sarcastic. ohhh man.
the part of that that made me mad/confused, was in class she was AWFUL. she was beyond rude to dan, hillary, jen, jared, derek, and pretty much everyone who presented. i do not understand the way her brain functions.
anyway. last night, i went out to dinner for indian food with some people for my birthday/DAMMIT I NEED INDIAN FOOD BEFORE I DIE! it was grand. then when we went to get stuff to watch here, we ran into tracie, heather, steve, and beth.
we came back here and some people left and some came and we watched the veggie tales version of the jonah story and some movie about growing pot. both were awsome. there's nothing like crazy british people getting high and then learning christian values through veggies with no arms.
i have a superly busy day tomorrow so i should probably go do some homework.
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| "this biennial is for you to learn from, teach others with, and also hookup during." |
[13 Nov 2003|04:48pm] |
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WCLZ |
] |
today was peachy keen. in chem, shawna emu katy and i filmed our video and at the end added the joke and i think it'll be really super. in a homemade-wow-this-is-so-bad-it's-good kind of way. i missed math because i went to hear about green mtn college. i've decided that, like hampshire, it's a bit too unstructured and hippy-ish for me. as much as i love the hardcore nature aspect of it, it's just not enough for me. plus they have no religion/jewish studies program.
history was fun. i have internal conflicts with someone in the class and so it's difficult some days. like today. but it was fun.
art club was lovely. zfoo and i collaged it up and i started on part of my YAAPP holiday gift.
speaking of holidays. this year, more than ever, i've noticed people say "christmas oh i mean HOLIDAY break" a lot. and tend to glance at me when they do it. SAY CHIRSTMAS FOR ALL I CARE!! i hate feeling like everyone hates me because they think i am anti-whatever and so they have to be extra careful around me. ok so maybe i don't want a christmas tree in my classes, but say the name of the fucking holiday break. it's obviously christmas break and we all know it. also when frau says she doesn't want to "offend" anyone about their feelings relating to G-d... i can tell she means me. especially when she frigging LOOKS AT ME! i am sick of everyone being scared to offend people. there is such a thing as taking civil rights to such an extreme that it's worse than discrimination. (gasp!)
ok. rant over. i'll say more about that in my WoRD article.
but no. really. today was great. and tomorrow i'm trying to have a "yay it's almost my birthday let's go get indian food and then watch movies and eat cookie dough" party. mmmm. last second planning.
time to go type up the chem notes! wheee!
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| every time you say 'i don't know', another history teacher dies |
[12 Nov 2003|04:18pm] |
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mood |
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satisfied |
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music |
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the spice girls song i have stuck in my head |
] |
last night raimi, jess, maddie, jack, sam, michael, and lots of other people and i had a dream-party in the skyways. it was complete with jones's juice, music by sam, a new employee of the month, and lots 'o lovin'. oh MAN i miss everyone sooo muuuchhhhh.
today was good. i have A's in band, history, german, maybe history though it's probably a B. i think i have a B- in math and nobody knows about chem. it's either amazingly good or disgustingly shitty. let's hope for the former.
mr.edmondson and i had lots of friendly banter today. and by friendly and banter i mean we made fun of each other every second possible. except that he let me listen to the 'best of REM' cd a lot. i neeeeeeeeed that CD. i am in love w/REM. except it's like $22 and ha. i don't have that kind of money lying around just for a cd. sigh. maybe my uncle and aunt will call and ask what i want for my birthday. (which is sunday! yay for 17!)
not much else to say. i don't feel like talking about my day. it was just a day.
"everlasting happiness is not happiness at all just like an everlasting orgasm is not an orgasm" -amos oz [at his accepting the prize speech.] it's my new explination for why NFTY events can't go on forever. if my whole life was NFTY, i'd never realize how happy it makes me.
well. i have been wanting to write a short story for a while and today is a good day to start it. so i'll do it.
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| two crepes, two crepes in a box |
[11 Nov 2003|07:00pm] |
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mood |
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 dorky |
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music |
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public radio |
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| What Irrational Number Are You? | You are √2 You are in good company, many other square roots are also irrational numbers. Just by being a square root you have been branded a radical. You are considered very attractive, especially by Europeans (at least on paper.) You fear that a relationship with another √2 may somehow end up complex and ultimately imaginary. In reality, only another √2 will make you whole. Your lucky number is approximately 1.41421356 | |
and also check out this slightly pointless but really clever game: http://www.shinylemur.com/modules.php?name=robotfindskitten
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| you have the kind of hair that a monkey would love |
[11 Nov 2003|04:03pm] |
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mood |
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 peaceful |
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music |
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the cantor cd. sketchy and a half. ugh. i hate cantors. |
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last night emu and sarah and i went to see radio. it was ok. i expected it to be crappy but i got in for free, so i wasn't going to say no. it was acutally pretty good. it was lacking in the "here's some teary music to make you want to gag" department which was a major plus. the story was good but clearly frilled up for the film.
then we went to applebees to meet sarah's mom and mark and his kids and that was cool because i got to meet mark. plus one of his daughters, sarah, made me look like a fool when she found the mouse on one of the pages of goodnight moon before me. then on the way home we put the seat down so we were laying down and rappered it up to eminem. good times.
mark was reading sarah this arthur book involving aemobas and i was happy because it made me think of hannah, michael, and abby. (I *LOVE* AEMOBAS!)
today amanda and i were supposed to hang out and then go to our hip-hop dance class only she was going to call me 2 hrs. ago and hasn't. soo dunno what's happening there. i tried calling her but got no answer. gar.
i was doing my homework and it involved "x squared" and it made me think of the conversation hershel and hannah had that went something like this:
hersh: "i'm straight."
hannah: "yeah. straight like x=y."
hersh: "exactly! and benn is straight like x squared."
well. i'm going to work on the script for the chem movie and keep trying to call amanda. ta.
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