| ... you get burned. |
[04 Oct 2005|08:53am] |
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music |
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Orange and Lemons - Lihim |
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A very kinky dream last night hahahaa!!! I dreamt of my uncle na matagal ko nang pantasya since I was a child. I was washing the dishes daw, e the rest room is just beside the sink, he went inside the restroom and when he went out, and he took his hard cock out of his shorts, and I jacked it off with the Joy dish washing soap suds and all ahahaha.
But I woke up with a heavy heart. I've cried for the past 2 nights. A good 10 minute bawling just to clear my head and my heart. It hurts so much. I met up with the twink last night in Seattle's Best, Mega Strip to return the money he lent me. After I was done with my Iced Mocha and he with his milk shake, he asked me to go to a nearby bar. My heart cried out, "Yes!" I said no. I told him that I had to go because I was so sleepy. He waited for me to hail a cab. I sorta waved goodbye before I got into it. I intend that to be our last meeting.
The night before that, I talked to him. I told him that I want to say a lot of things but for what?! I told him that I am falling for him, and that this has got to stop. I can't be his friend and not be emotionally detached because I'm not built that way.
Deep in my heart, I know that I did the right thing. I wish he is happy. If there is one thing I have learned from my relationship with Esh, it is to learn when to let go.
I have reasons to believe that the twink is my soulmate, but I know that someone is out there for me. Maybe not someone better, but someone who will come in the right time and place and will make everything better.
And if there's one thing I've learned from this, you play with fire...
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12 moohs|Say what now?!
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