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mood |
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 sad |
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music |
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Stacey Kent - Dreamsville |
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I recognize this feeling. It's that emptiness you feel after waking up. It feels like there's nothing to look forward to anymore. It feels like a part of you, a limb maybe, is gone. It's like your left foot was amputated, but you can still feel it itching. It feels like there is a void inside you, but instead of feeling light, you feel heavy. I've had this feeling a few times after my past relationships had ended, and I thought I'm finally over this feeling. I thought wrong. Oh boy, this is gonna be a long process.
And to start off, I had to change his name in my phone book. So from C H O , it's now Esh *insert last name here*. (Borrowing the words of the demi-god, Fiona Apple: No not baby anymore, when I need you I'll just use your simple name, Only kisses on the cheek from now on, and in a little while, you'll only have to wave...) I've deleted some of his messages, but I've still stored a few of them, around 65 text messages, which I really love. I know that sooner or later, I will need to totally get rid of them as there is no use in holding on to them anymore. I've already thrown away the box of the huge white Toblerone he gave me sometime before Christmas last year. I've also trashed the foil of Strepsils we've shared when we both had colds. I dunno how I can rid of this mug with our names on it that my office mate gave me last Christmas. I've erased his pictures in my phone, but I've saved the ones where we're together. I know that, eventually, I also have to delete them. His pictures are still in my pc, and I don't know if I will ever have the courage to delete them. His images are under the Friends folder in My Pictures. He's still a friend, isn't he? How can I totally forget him? I'm using the wallet he gave me for Christmas last year. I'm using the bag he gave me for my birthday. Oh god, I miss greeting him every morning and wishing him to sleep tight every night.
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