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Friday, March 26th, 2004

Subject:MIGRATING
Time:6:55 pm.
I'm no longer on Blurty. Sick of it.

Going to LJ. If you want to find me, i'll be at http://www.livejournal.com/users/old_swiss/
Comments: Add Your Own.

Time:9:48 am.
You got me open like a liquor store
Loves so strong that i don't want no more
I can't describe the way you got me shook,
You're like a drug girl u got me hooked.
You're the queen i see in my dreams,
Wanna taste some of your ice cream,
I can't describe the way you got me shook,
You're like a drug girl you got me hooked.

My boy's say i'm trippin' but i'm
like so cause you got me open I don't care who
knows when it comes to you baby anything goes,
you're just like that drug that they smoke,you
got my mind twisted and all tied up,from your
conversation and gentle touch,what ever you want
baby never too much,baby sit back and let me take
a puff.

I don't even smoke but that's quite
alright cuz when you with me it's like a natural
high,Just like Marvin Gaye touchin' his keyboard,
when you touch me you make me say"Oh Lord" girl you
got every little bit of my soul makin' it hard for
me to gain control even when i try to tell myself no
there's a little voice sayin' one more, i'm on these
streets like a zombie,lookin for you,come rescue me, yeah

Check, I'm like thinking about you all
day and ah, I been wanting you in a strong way
and ah ain't nobodydo it like you do me.Dat kinda
lovin' make a thug say oo-wee.Old sayin' when it
rains it pours and I ain't never in my life felt
this way before. Baby girl you the only one that
I adore. You're one in the game, let me settle the
score. What is this that you put on me, I'm so gone
and I can't eat and I feel so weak I don't need it
but it's calling me you're my love addiction I can't
kick baby I'm feelin' for another hit.one more time
girl i swear that's it This love-this love.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Time:9:44 am.
I don't want a toaster.
Furnulum pani nolo.
"I don't want a toaster."
Generally, things (like this quiz) tend to tick you
off. You have contemplated doing grievous
bodily harm to door-to-door salesmen.


Which Weird Latin Phrase Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

you suck, and that's sad
you are the "you suck, and that's sad"
happy bunny. your truthful, but can be a bit
brutal.


which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Snoopy
You are Snoopy!


Which Peanuts Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Comments: Add Your Own.

Time:9:28 am.
Now that we came here to do
It means more to me than just a night
That we share
So make sure that you're prepared
Baby and know that love is not just something to do
It's the moment that transcends
Our physical into a more spiritual level of understanding

And who knows
Somehow this night
Just might lead us into a place
Where our emotions can grow if we let them go
Cause who knows
What may happen
If we act on our attractions
And loose ourselves
Inside a world made for us
And no one else
Hey girl just let me love you

Now aint no need to be afraid
Cause I'll be as gentle as it takes
To provide you with the right amount of
Pleasure and pain I'll
Make sure that you feel alright
Even if it takes me all night
Cause the joy is all mine
When I know your satisfied
So lets keep giving all we got

And who knows
Somehow this night
Just might lead us into a place
Where our emotions can grow if we let them go
Cause who knows
What may happen
If we act on our attractions
And loose ourselves
Inside a world made for us
And no one else
Hey girl just let me love you

Listen, now I can see it in your eyes (yeah)
(I can handle whatever's on your mind)
That you want to baby just as bad as I do
(and girl I wanna give it to you)
Now if you can just set aside your fears
And just try to deal with what's going on with us right now

And who knows
Somehow this night
Just might lead us into a place
Where our emotions can grow if we let them go
Cause who knows
What may happen
If we act on our attractions
And loose ourselves
Inside a world made for us
And no one else
Hey girl just let me love you
Comments: Add Your Own.

Thursday, March 25th, 2004

Subject:Why Boredom Is Dangerous
Time:3:55 pm.
The following is a list of things to do when you are bored, I do not give permission nor can I be held responsible, to do anything on this list,
Thank you,
Your superior.

1. Wax the ceiling
2. Buy cheese
3. Drop your cat from a high place, to see if it really does land on all four feet
4. Repeat above until failure
5. Load Snood onto a friend’s computer
6. Sharpen your teeth
7. Do the magician “saw a box trick” with your sister/brother
8. Wash behind your ears
9. Clean and polish your belly button
10. Ask people if they want to see your “belly button treasure”
11. Wash a tree
12. Flirt with an evergreen
13. Find a male
14. Mail him
15. Knight yourself and some close friends
16. Complain about your nose hurting
17. Give your cat a Mohawk
18. Purr
19. Mow your carpet
20. Rake your carpet (to clean up the clippings, of course)
21. Whine
22. Play BSB cds backwards
23. Re-elect Bill Clinton
24. Dress up in a cow suit… go to the supermarket
25. Moo
26. Play with matches
27. Buff your cat
28. Raise professional racing llamas
29. Join debate and agree with everyone
30. Dial-a-prayer and argue
31. Read homer in the original Greek
32. Learn Greek
33. Change your mind
34. Change it back
35. Watch the sun see if it moves
36. Ask a question
37. Answer it
38. Paint your windows
39. Flash your goldfish
40. Paint
41. Smile
42. Paint a smile
43. Shoot at a toaster
44. Apologize to it
45. See if you really can build a small nuclear device in your basement
46. Rotate your garden…daily
47. Plant a shoe
48. Water it
49. Sweat
50. Give an ink blot test to your gerbil
51. Take apart the toaster and microwave
52. Mix and match the parts
53. Turn your TV upside down
54. Take an ant for a walk
55. Take your aunt for a walk
56. Sell dirty socks
57. Start
58. Stop
59. Dial 911and breathe heavily
60. Go to a funeral and tell jokes
61. Put lighted exit signs on all your closets
62. Carry a tune
63. Drop it, see if it breaks
64. Starch your underwear
65. Contemplate a cockroach
66. Get a bug to chase your car
67. Let him catch it
68. Start a club
69. Make everyone who joined pay dues, then call it stupid and quit
70. Wear a salad
71. Ride a loaf of bread
72. Annoy yourself
73. Get angry with yourself
74. Stop speaking to yourself
75. Kiss and make up with yourself
76. Stand on your head
77. Stand on someone else’s head
78. Learn everything there is to know about the three toed sloth
79. Laugh at a teachers puns
80. Build a pyramid
81. Paint your teeth
82. Climb a sidewalk
83. Speak with a lisp
84. MAKE a drive in window at the dairy-queen
85. Walk on water, but DON’T get caught
86. Shave a shrub
87. Have a proton fight
88. Watch a home movie and make fun of yourself as a kid
89. Quiver
90. Learn to type with your toes
91. Recite romantic poetry to your washing machine
92. Buy the Eiffel tower
93. Mail it to a friend
94. Make them pay the postage
95. Be in the wrong place at the right time
96. Be someone special
97. Plot the overthrow of your local school board
98. Request covert assistance from the CIA
99. Factor your social security number
100. Read the 1962 Los Angeles white pages
101. Plead the fifth
102. Plead the sixth
103. Plead the 8,003rd
104. Learn to read Sanskrit
105. Learn to write Sanskrit
106. Exist… existentially of course
107. Search for buried treasure… in Idaho
108. Hot wax the bottom of your brothers/sisters dress shoes
109. Print counterfeit confederate money
110. Kick a cabbage
111. Say you’re sorry
112. Take a picture
113. Put it back
114. Sand a mushroom
115. Find the heat capacity of your science professor
116. Play solitaire for cash
117. Abuse your patio furniture
118. Run for Pope
119. If you don’t win, run for God
120. If you still don’t win, run for mayor of Idaho
121. Try harder
122. Write a book about life, call it death
123. Make a quilt of used napkins
124. Revert
125. Sleep on a bed of nails
126. Don’t toss and turn
127. Think shallow thoughts
128. Drown in them
129. Have your favorite sock bronzed
130. Boil ice cream
131. Blast pop music through town
132. Carve your boyfriend\girlfriend\crushes’ initials in a marshmallow
133. Speak in acronyms
134. Drive the speed limit, in your garage
135. Make a schematic drawing of a rock
136. Become a rabid Pog fan
137. Sing the national anthem during your English final
138. Pay off the national debt, with a bad check
139. Calmly have a nervous breakdown
140. Give your goldfish a perm
141. Paint your home bright orange
142. Play tag on I95
143. Find the nearest nowhere and go there
144. Exorcize a ghost
145. Go to a cemetery and verbally abuse dead people
146. Paint stripes on a lake
147. Two words… Hot Dog
148. Explain random theories
149. Test thin ice with a pogo stick
150. Apply for a unicorn hunting license
151. Defend your neighborhood from flesh eating robots
152. Do a good job
153. Crawl
154. Be a side affect
155. Be a front defect
156. Play hockey with your little cousin… as the puck
157. Duck
158. Goose
159. Play duck duck goose
160. Join the army, be someone simple
161. Think like a zebra
162. Hit the deck
163. Cut the deck
164. Swab the deck
165. Put leg warmers on your furniture
166. Be number six
167. Sit
168. Stay
169. Roll over
170. Play dead
171. Scheme
172. Spray your family room with febreeze
173. Cause a power failure
174. Pour instant concrete in your sister/brother waterbed
175. Give a lecture tour on the historical significance of wart remover
176. Wiggle
177. Be Polish
178. Be Canadian
179. Be Idahodian
180. Donate your brother’s/sister's body to science
181. Watch the Wonder Years
182. Wonder
183. Give someone a kiss on the lips… in the middle of class… that hates you
184. Be a square root
185. Park your car with a “friend”
186. Park your car with a group of “friends”
187. Ask stupid questions
188. Answer them
189. Spew
190. Say “moist”
191. Put a stick on the sidewalk
192. Laugh when someone trips
193. Laugh REALLY REALLY hard if they break a bone
194. Solve the population problem i.e. x +2y-16x = population
195. Contribute to the population problem
196. Interview a member of the opposite sex
197. Ask embarrassing questions
198. Go to a drive-in movie in a tank
199. Go to a non-drive-in movie in a tank and drive in anyway
200. Crumble
201. Crumple
202. Make up a new language
203. Use it often
204. Be stupid for a day
205. Do aerobics...in your head
206. Play cards with your swimming pool
207. Bother a sibling, profusely
208. Send your iguana to obedience school
209. Pinstripe your driveway
210. Play "Kick the fire-hydrant"
211. Chipmunk power
212. Free the oppressed toaster-ovens of America
213. Free the obsessed toaster-ovens of America
214. Mug a stop sign
215. Join your local AA meetings
216. Go for a walk in the attic
217. Challenge the neighbor kid to duel
218. Find a witch
219. Burn her
220. Regress
221. Find out how many ways there really are to skin a cat
222. Go bow hunting for Toyotas
223. Kidnap Cabbage Patch Kids
224. Boldly go where no man has gone before
225. Jump back
226. Play to lose
227. Snort
228. Be a threat to the American way of life
229. Be a threat to the Northwest Tibetan way of life
230. Re-establish the Roman Empire in Idaho
231. Have your car painted plaid
232. Found the TLO (Tomato Liberation Organization)
233. Play nuclear chicken with a small third world nation
234. Cockfight turnips
235. Give your grandmother a raise...and another week paid vacation
236. Sharpen your sleeping skills
237. Put out a fire
238. If you can't find one make one
239. Ionize your new chemistry professor (you took the heat capacity of the first one)
240. Make a life-sized replica of the Statue of Liberty...out of grape Jell-O
241. Tree a goldfish
242. Get a college education
243. Bury your father’s dodge
244. Tell him your the dog did it
245. Catch a falling star
246. Throw it back
247. Place your cat in hyperspace
248. Again tell your dad the dog did it
249. Throw a sleepover
250. Catch it
251. Talk to people who are half asleep (What do you really think about me?”)
252. Install handicapped access to the {your favorite pathetic baseball team's} dugout
253. Provide a reason to everyone why they should love you
254. Prove once and for all that a cow can jump over the moon
255. Complain to God that Jupiter has more moons than we do
256. Blow spit bubbles
257. Become a Hermit on your front lawn (works best if you live on a main road!)
258. Find pepper and dust and break the world record of sneezes
259. Attack the annoying Microsoft-word cat with your mouse cursor
260. Have a starring contest with the aforementioned
261. Have a Weezer marathon…
262. …Then play MSI
263. Build a house on the Sims and name the people Mr. and Mrs. (crush name here)
264. Wiggle your leg
265. Smile all day for a day
266. Count to a million as fast as you can
267. Write my PNW report for me
268. Bark at your dog
269. Bark at your mom
270. Bark at people in the grocery store
271. Eat bark (tree bark)
272. Bark at the tree
273. Mark your territory
274. Go for a walk
275. Go for a run
276. Hop up and down
277. Just hop up
278. Hope
279. Send fan mail to bob hope
280. Send hate mail to bob hope (Use same name^)
281. Go to Cali and leave mail for Blink 182 at the local taco bell in San Diego
282. Talk back to the radio [play that funky music white boy…] “what kinda music?”
283. Play funky music
284. Smell EVERYTHING you come across
285. Grease every door hinge in the house, then yell at people for slamming doors
286. Unplug the phone and plug it in and unplug it and plug it in and unplug…
287. Organize your sock drawer
288. Go to a Swing dance and do the hokey-pokey
289. Do the hokey-pokey at 3 am
290. Talk to squirrels (squeaker squeaking squeakity?)
291. Love to hate
292. Hate to love
293. Give
294. Take back
295. Call yourself an Indian giver
296. Learn to play the harmonica (NOO)
297. Write a song
298. Sing it
299. Record it
300. Listen to yourself, realize you suck and throw it out
301. Make a collage of eyes taped to your wall
302. When you have people over ask them if they ever feel like they are being watched
303. Laugh
304. Snicker
305. Eat snickers
306. Eat Cadbury chocolate from Ireland
307. Make a crown
308. Wear it
309. Insist everyone calls you “Your highness”
310. Chew on a lollipop stick
311. Get all mixed up
312. Don’t know what to do
313. Put yourself back together
314. Memorize pi
315. Memorize pie
316. Eat pie
317. Get a stuffed animal that’s a lamb
318. Name it Bunny
319. Build floatation devices for rodents during monsoon season
320. Polish golf balls for a living
321. Defy gravity
322. Obey gravity
323. Yell at gravity
324. Hit some hay
325. Repent for doing that
326. Cross your legs
327. Uncross them
328. Make a Christmas wish list in July
329. Get Sonny Kobe Cook’s autograph
330. Write a poem about eyebrows
331. Make an interptative dance to the comet song
332. Perform it in front of relatives
333. Stare at yourself
334. Stare back
335. Stare in general
336. Speak Yiddish
337. Learn to speak Yiddish
338. Go Amish
339. Recuit friends
340. Sew your own clothes
341. Learn Korean and speak back to nail ladies
342. Tell me what they are saying!
343. Play strip poker with college students
344. Ask people how to pronounce their name
345. Pick the fuzz balls off hotel blankets
346. Collect hotel blankets
347. Collect hotel keys
348. Write calligraphy messages to your friends
349. Play mental Tic-tac-toe
350. Play mental hopscotch
351. Play mental
352. Play
353. Be somebody
354. Be somebody else
355. Eat vitamins (Flintstones rock)
356. Kick pop machines
357. Loose your contact
358. Find it
359. Dress up in suit made of thumb tacks
360. Go to a balloon factory
361. Wear duct tape
362. 3 hole punch your curtains
363. Tie-dye your curtains
364. Tie-dye your hair
365. Dye your hair
366. Get your hairs cut
367. Fluff
368. Smile like a doughnut
369. Find out what people are talking about when they say “it”
370. Ditto with “thing”
371. Meet that one guy with the two eyes and a nose
372. Become a Pepsi addict
373. Figure out what you want
374. Find the meaning of life
375. Take a class on self defense
376. Save the world
377. Save a world
378. Save your world
379. Be positive
380. Be negative
381. Be neutral
382. Fly a brick
383. Fly
384. Swat flies
385. Befriend flies
386. Name flies
387. Be lord of the flies
388. Read Lord of the Flies
389. Bring a Furby to school
390. Talk to it through your locker door
391. Fondle school tables
392. Stick your tongue out
393. Spin pencils on your fingers
394. Read Spin magazines
395. Run a Miss Area-code pageant
396. Look at lights until you sneeze
397. Wear pigtails
398. Pull someone else’s pigtails
399. Make a new answering machine message
400. Over pluck your eyebrows
401. Burp the Happy Birthday song
402. Be naked underneath your clothes
403. Go shopping for fish
404. Be blunt
405. Be sharp
406. Have a food fight
407. Be thankful for clocks
408. Lick your lips
409. Eat broccoli and pretend to be a dinosaur eating trees
410. Ask people if their name is Randolph
411. Get mad when they say its not their name
412. Destroy an old couch
413. Destroy an old crush
414. Crush pop cans with croquet mallets
415. Take pictures of everything
416. Be jealous
417. Be envious
418. Wish
419. Take a wild guess
420. Take a wild goose
421. Eat smoked cheese
422. Watch grass grow
423. Spank a monkey
424. Become a pirate
425. Sail the seas
426. Sail your sandbox
427. Be a spy
428. 3 words… secret…agent…man
429. Go fast
430. Go slow
431. Go lukewarm
432. Even the score
433. Be cold
434. Be hot
435. Start with an A
436. End with a Z
437. Pretend you are blind
438. Throw crutches at people
439. Converse with a flatworm
440. Develop a complex
441. Develop a tick
442. Set off metal detectors
443. Don’t be a devil… yet
444. Groan, act confused when people ask if you are ok
445. Sniffle
446. Crack your knuckles
447. Redecorate your garage
448. Take the word “foot” out of your vocabulary
449. Put it back
450. Preach about seatbelts
451. Ask people if they’ve seen your head
452. Be a Christmas tree
453. Be a Christmas light
454. Burn out
455. Swear at yourself
456. Flicker
457. Go on random driver’s ed trips
458. Roll down grass hills
459. Be a leaf and leave
460. Be land
461. Be water
462. Drip
463. Drop
464. Drippity-drop
465. Make a plastic cow
466. Lick people’s eyeballs
467. Have them lick yours
468. Be a REALLY cautious driver
469. Stall at intersections and be confused when people honk
470. Turn on your emergency flashers every time you turn
471. Chew on pen caps
472. Learn to angle park
473. Protest bus stops
474. Be a star
475. Be a superstar
476. Paint zebra stripes on your computer
477. Go to Hawaii 9 times but never once learn the hula
478. Measure slugs
479. Have people follow you with red carpet everywhere
480. Get a body guard
481. Give him sunglasses
482. Scratch
483. Scratch your dog
484. Go fish
485. Tan leather
486. Be a bar code
487. Wear pajamas with feet
488. Learn to let go
489. Hold on
490. Pin the tail on a donkey
491. Tape it
492. Glue it
493. Hammer it
494. MC hammer it
495. Flutter bye
496. Forgive
497. Forget
498. Remember
499. Repeatingly call someone Al and get mad when they say that’s not their name
500. Try above with “Tim”
501. Be halfway
502. Hang a curtain rod
503. Puzzle
504. Bite every other nail
505. Be blonde
506. Be smart
507. Be a smart blonde
508. Shampoo your hair
509. Shampoo a poodle
510. Wiggle your toes
511. Wiggle your nose
512. Eat lettuce
513. Swim in Tapioca Pudding
514. Enjoy Catsup
515. Take your cat to the restroom with you
516. Eye witness stuff
517. Use the word stuff as much as possible
518. Every time you say the word definitely, spell it out
519. You’re an hour late
520. Loop-di-loo loop-di-lie
521. Release
522. Stand up
523. Sit down
524. Fight fight fight
525. Stop a war
526. Start a war (NOO)
527. Loose your voice
528. Find it
529. Forget to groom
530. Broom
531. Never say never I never will again
532. Try every flavor at baskin’ robins but don’t buy anything
533. Try the fat free kind too
534. When you smile bite your lip
535. Learn to French… braid
536. Get caught red-handed
537. Get caught blue-handed
538. Hide in a cupboard
539. Whisper everything
540. True
541. Make a bunny nose with your mouth
542. Behold the truth
543. Let it fall
544. Make sound effects for stuff
545. Learn insulting words in other languages
546. Use this knowledge
547. Be a no-name
548. Attract lightning
549. Fold
550. Go play cards
551. Get a belt
552. Watch Real World
553. Crust
554. Play leap frog
555. Not yet!
556. Clean your room (*gasp*)
557. Put your Christmas lights up in April
558. Enlighten a trash can
559. Be cute
560. Fall asleep
561. Be unique, just like everyone else
562. Run a black market selling kittens
563. Plug it in
564. Get a degree in chicken plucking checking
565. Give your bird a manicure
566. Blow a bubble
567. Write a poem about someone you love
568. Say “Narf”
569. Blink
570. Say “blink-blink” when you blink
571. Cough
572. Hug a stranger then apologize saying you thought they were your grandma.
573. Wheeze
574. At the bottom of escalators yell “MY SHOELACE!”
575. Pay for expensive things with pennies
576. Dominate a table spoon
577. When you buy something ask to get your picture taken with the clerk
578. Start a convo with yourself
579. Shout “shut up, SHUT UP,” and hit your head on a table
580. Pretend you are god
581. Claim you are late for a date with the white rabbit
582. Poke someone’s head and say mushroom, poke their stomach and say sponge
583. Declare April 6th slap butt day at your school and actively celebrate it
584. Go bowling-for small game
585. Start humming like a bee in waiting rooms and watch people get nervous
586. Dont ever use punctuation its rather annoying isnt it
587. Turn off the lights whenever you enter a room
588. Respond to everything with “well that’s what you think”
589. Loosen the lug nuts on your dad’s new car
590. This is another situation where you tell your dad the dog did it
591. Rearrange political signs
592. Throw a political party
593. Form a political party
594. Scare Steven King
595. Write a book about a previous life
596. Run around in squares
597. Debate politics with a fern
598. Play tidily winks, go for blood
599. Watch a car rust
600. Play bingo with your neighbor’s cat
601. Find other people who have your name
602. Start a cult with them
603. Make up ghost stories
604. Scare yourself with them
605. Pick a random person and worship them
606. Make sure they know you do
607. Write a book on the life of a storage food container
608. Get a life
609. Do something with it
610. Prevent forest fires
611. Solve world hunger
612. Hot chocolate, lots of hot chocolate
613. Become a band nerd
614. Be one of those people that yell “SHH!” (Even though they ADD to the noise)
615. Attack Costco cart pushers
616. Be a non-being
617. Remove the letter ‘h’ from your vocabulary “ows it going?”
618. Learn the way of Tao
619. Fidget
620. Make a deal with the devil, keep your fingers crossed
621. Write a really long essay
622. Wear a suit of marshmallows
623. Duct tape a spoon to the wall and wait for it to fall
624. Really stick it there this time, so it wont fall again
625. Chase other people
626. Chase yourself
627. Run from yourself
628. Sneak up on yourself
629. Scream
630. Pick your nose
631. Pick other people’s noses
632. Don’t ask me!
633. Water your dog see if he grows
634. Listen to a painting
635. Watch a dandelion grow
636. Go back to square one
637. Try plan B
638. Sky dive to church
639. Ask for seconds
640. Find out where all these cylinders graduated from
641. Drink pop till you get wired
642. One word: SLINKY!
643. Another Word: STAIRS!
644. Poke telephone poles
645. Whistle Beethoven’s 8th Symphony
646. Whistle while you work
647. Play pick up sticks
648. Don’t break the ice
649. Get un-bored
650. Change your hand writing style
651. Wear fuzzy bunny slippers
652. Make your feet talk to each other
653. Become a garbage man
654. Surf the internet
655. Surf your sofa
656. Surf a Tsunami
657. But don’t get wet
658. Get a chia pet
659. Name it Earl
660. Call it Fred
661. Vacuum your chia pet
662. Ok now! You can be a devil now
663. Have a heart attack
664. Shake yourself to death
665. Hang out in the bathroom wearing a suit and sell people things
666. Alphabetize your fridge
667. Build a small railroad for your community
668. Make flash cards and teach your dog to read tricks
669. Always push your glasses up at the nose bridge
670. Break some rules
671. Duct tape them back together
672. Wear multicolored hair wigs
673. Mix and match your socks
674. Mix and match your sex
675. Make sock puppets
676. Talk to people with them
677. Bite people with them
678. Form a union
679. Purpose marriage to the next living thing you see
680. Isolate a radical
681. Plant M&M’s
682. Write in a circle
683. Stare into space
684. Hold amateur wrestling matches at your local gym
685. Shake a monkey’s paw
686. Marry someone’s shoe
687. Wear mosquito nets wherever you go
688. Learn a new word
689. Shop at thrift stores
690. Prove to me Wyoming exists
691. Find a place to put all the stupid people
692. Play human clue at the super mall
693. Get to know your times tables
694. Chew your lip
695. Become a quadriplegic
696. Be attracted to quadriplegics
697. Day dream
698. Ignore anyone who talks about math
699. Grow claws
700. Get into 80’s music
701. Collect 80’s memorabilia
702. Use the word “Meh” as much as possible
703. Find your gills
704. Turn yourself in a for a crime you didn’t commit
705. Make shoelaces out of noodles
706. Slap people with them
707. Talk like a pirate
708. Dress like a pirate
709. Get a song stuck in your head
710. Stay awake for 8 days straight
711. Dot people’s i’s for them
712. Paint with your toes
713. Read a book a sentence a day
714. Eat poker chips
715. Go squirrel watching
716. FWD emails everyday about how stupid FWDS are
717. Learn to do tricks with gum
718. Have a hula party in the winter
719. Become best friends with your suitcase
720. Carry a briefcase with you and offer people phony legal advise
721. Learn to square dance
722. Go circle dancing
723. Send postcards to yourself
724. Be legendary
725. Act like you just met your friend for the first time
726. See how many hugs you can get in one day
727. Learn to march in a school band
728. Make new formations for marching band
729. Become a paparazzi for your friends, follow them with a camera
730. Learn random facts and share them with people
731. Move to Egypt
732. Master the art of cherry-stem tongue-tying
733. Go sky-diving dressed as a giant banana
734. Fly an airplane
735. Clean a rabbit
736. Dust bunnies
737. Go skinny-dipping in a pool of jellybeans
738. Go skinny-dipping in a pool of jell-o
739. Be overly protective with your teddy bear
740. Be overly obsessive with your teddy bear
741. Lounge around the house in prom attire
742. Learn to throw your voice
743. Catch it
744. Catch a cold
745. Enjoy the perks of being sick
746. Hire people to wait on you
747. Say everything twice
748. Say everything twice
749. Turn everything into a photo-op
750. Construct tiny makeshift parachutes for hamsters
751. Test them with weights
752. Make it your personal goal to get on as many infomercials as possible
753. Build a tree house in the middle of a field
754. Teach your dog to obey
755. Teach freshmen to obey
756. Bake the world’s biggest doughnut hole
757. Hunt and peck when you type in public places
758. Snore
759. Ignore people who try to stop you
760. Do crossword puzzles
761. Crack your knuckles
762. Learn HTML encoding
763. Hitch hike to Hawaii
764. Count all the stars in the sky
765. Make a wish on every one
766. Cut the lawn with your teeth
767. Run… don’t stop
768. Host your own radio show from your laundry room
769. Make up code names for you and some friends
770. Volunteer at a nursing home and change your identity hourly
771. Make a fort out of couch cushions
772. Call it “Fort Knox-Over-A lot”
773. Construct a shrine for the queen of the spud peoples
774. Compose a Rock Opera
775. Make it in three acts
776. Roast an entire goat on the front lawn
777. Make a Mr. Zucchini Head
778. Write your entire life memoirs
779. Burn them publicly screaming, “They just aren’t enough!”
780. Invent a telephone that talks to the dead
781. Call it the “Dead Ringer”
782. Record a tribute album for starving children on Mars
783. Wear a hat made entirely out of real cheddar cheese
784. Hold a wedding for Godzilla in your back yard
785. Hold a Bah Mitzvah for Mothra in your front yard
786. Be upset when nobody shows up to either
787. Start a Cabaret in your hometown
788. Sail away
789. Go dumpster diving for sushi
790. Become a tic-tac addict
791. Have a burping contest with a weasel
792. Have a watermelon seed spitting contest with a mongoose
793. Pass go and collect 200 dollars
794. Rub plastic knives together
795. Write on bathroom floors
796. Write letters to random people claiming you are their lost cousin, ask for money
797. Ride a bicycle up Mt. Rainer
798. *69 telemarketers and ask them if they want to buy random stuff
799. Get to know your town drunk
800. Create and manage your very own fruit stand
801. Be a loan shark
802. Be a lone shark
803. Wear a different Hawaiian print shirt everyday for a year
804. Show school pride, for a school other than your own
805. Play I-Spy
806. Spy something red
807. Write glow in the dark messages on people’s ceilings (“I'm watching you!)
808. Write one on yours too, to throw people off
809. Be nervous
810. Bite me
811. Go bowling-ally hopping
812. Buy a lazy-boy
813. Be lazy
814. Be amazing
815. Write fortune cookie sayings for a living
816. Become a party animal
817. Become a party mineral
818. Become a go-to kinda man
819. Stay put
820. Leave on a jet plane
821. Start a wheelbarrow-ride business
822. Expand with hayrides
823. Swim to Japan
824. Backstroke your way to class
825. Call toll free numbers and make friends with the tellers
826. Take salt with you wherever you go
827. Braid your dog’s hair
828. Spike your dog’s hair
829. Spike your hair
830. Spike a volleyball
831. Spike some punch
832. Get a grip on life
833. Loosen it a little
834. Just Enjoy
835. Taste the rainbow
836. Smell the hail
837. Hail a cab and walk
838. Work the nightshift
839. Go insane
840. Go outsane
841. Go outside
Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:101 fun things to do in English
Time:9:20 am.
Mood: crazy.
Music:Busta Rhymes - Light Your Ass On Fire.
1. Misquote Shakespeare excessively
2. Randomly yell that the voices won't leave you alone.
3. Keep asking what time it is, even with a clock in plain sight.
4. Stand up and say the pledge in the middle of a discussion.
5. Lean over to your neighbor and whisper loudly; "I tied my own shoes today."
6. Lean over to somenoe and whisper things they could care less about. (ie I lowered my cholesterol)
7. Tell people your idol is Subway Jared. Bonus! Eat Subway in class.
8. Walk into class late acting drunk.
9. Walk into calss late *cross out acting* drunk.
10. Open plastic snack food bags slowly .
11. Zip and unzip your backpack excessively.
12. Tap to the beat of songs on your desk. Bonus! Songs no one likes.
13. Shout random complicated words.(ie inconspicuous; antidisestablishmentarianism) Bonus! Spell them out loud. Super bonus! Mess up and start over.
14. Get up and sit in a different desk every few minutes.
15. Make fun of author's names.
16. Make fun of your teacher.
17. Find out who didn't do their homeworkd, and taunt them. 'Oooooooh you didn't do your homework oooooh!' Bonus! They get in trouble.
18. Taunt yourself if you didn't do your homeowrk.
19. Pass a notebook back and forth between you and your best friend thinking of fun things to do in English. Bonus! You get caught.
20. Doing # 19 with your best friend if your best friend is on the other side of the room.
21. Writing fake notes and trying to get them taken away by the teacher. Bonus! She reads them out loud.
22. "Whispering" to your friend across the room. Bonus! Saying things about the class you wouldn't want the teacher to hear.
23. Reading fanfics.
24. Sitting backwards in your seat the entire hour.
25. Talking to your best friend about nothing; and when the teacher asks you if you have something you'd like to share with the class, stand up adn ramble for 20 minutes.
26. Slowly tear up all old papers you have.
27. Mock all the hand gestures your teacher makes at the same time.
28. 5 sec. your teacher says something, repeat it. Bonus! Use a fake British accent.
29. Repeatedly crumple papers, toss at garbage can, and miss.
30. Make random animal noises. Bonus! See how many people you can make laugh.
31. Once in a while, groan loudly and say out loud 'Oh man I'm so glad I took my prozac/viagra this morning.'
32. Burst out laughing when somenoe reads a sad poem.
33. Or burst into a sob fest.
34.If cartoon characters (or movie characters) are referred to, sing the theme song to that show. Bonus! Run around the room acting like them as you do so.
35. When asked to read something out loud, imitate a well-known TV/cartoon character. Bonus! make the class laugh/applaud.
36. Make your voice crack or change your pitch when reading out loud.
37. Hand out fliers for Yanni concerts.
38. Try to drop your pencil at as many times as possible.
39. During work time when its real quiet scream at the top of your lungs.
40. During class drink milk and have it shoot out of your nose all over the kid next to you and ask them if they want a kleenex.
41. Stare intently at teh teacher the whole hour.
42. Sing loudly the Star-Spangled Banner with added sound effects.
43. Walk around the room and ask every person if they will bear your child.
44. Use spitballs to make a smiley face on the board.
45. When you're asked to put something in your own words, use a made-up language. Bonus! Actually make up a language and do all your homework with it.
46. Finish all your teacher's sentances with lines from manga/anime
47. Yawn and see how many other people you can get to yawn with you.
48. When asked to read out loud, say all punctuation.
49. Stare intently at your teacher and every once in a while say "That's FASCINATING."
50. Try to get people in class to do the wave.
51. Speak in a certian number of words.
52. When asked to write on the chalkboard; write backwards.
53. Bring a water pistol.
54. Speak pretending you bit your tongue.
55. Every few seconds say "Can you hear me now?"
56. Come to your English class prepared for another subject.
57. Read test questions out loud. Bonus! You get asked to stop. If this happens; say loudly "Oh like you can really hear what I'm thinking."
58. Sleep. Bonus! Snore.
59. Pretend (or not...) to order a pizza in the middle of class.
60. Pull on the hair of the person in front of you.
61. Blow spit bubbles.
62. In a demonic voice, say "I must find a more suitable host body."
63. Fake a seizure.
64. When your teacher tells you a fact, say loudly "Or is it?"
65. When asked to answer a question, talk as if you were a Doctor Seuss character. (ie. bamboozle! =^o^)
66. Stare into space, even if being asked to answer a question, and don't say anything.
67. Have a smart-ass comeback for everything your teacher ahs to say.
68. Spray perfume on people next to you. Bonus! It's a guy. (If it's a girl, spray cologne)
69. Raise your hand and randomly talk about cheerios.
70. Act as if you completely lost your memory.
71. Every time the teacher says something, reply with "Damn Yankee!" or "Yankee scum!"
72. When the teacher asks for homework, give her a torn-up paper and say your dog ate the homework and it didn't like it. Bonus! Chew the paper in class.
73. Run around with the flag, yelling "The red-coats are attacking!"
74. Comment that the room is getting hot and start taking off your clothes.
75. Try and stick pencils in the ceiling
76. Pretend your pen is a gun and 'shoot' people with sound effects.
77. Have a conversation with yourself.
78. When asked a question, pretend to have no control over the volume of your voice.
79. Bring a small Buddha to calss and meditate. Bonus! Say 'ohm'.
80. Nervously ask people if the room is getting smaller.
81. When someone walks in late, groan and say loudly 'Is it just me, or did the whole classes' IQ just drop?'
82. Say 'nevermore' every once in a while.
83. Bring a lazer pointer and see how many people you can distract with it.
84. Rnadomly unzip peoples' backpacks, peer in, and say 'oooooh I'm telling.' loudly.
85. Ask the teacher to talk really loudly.
86. When asked a question, pretend you're an answering machine and not be home.
87. When asked a question, demand it be given in the form of an answer. Bonus! She does, and you give your answer in the form of a question.
88. Make everything you say rhyme.
89. When the teachers tell you to do the assignment, leap up, point dramatically and yell "You can't make me!" and run out of the room.
90. When your teacher asks you for your homework, ask if they want fries with that.
91. Answer everything your teacher says with "That's what you think."
92. Wonder aloud if the hokey pokey really is what it's all about.
93. Bring a box with holes cut in it and covered with fake blood. Write 'Fluffy' on it. Leave on floor and every so often nudge it closer to someone elses' desk.
94. Walk i nwearing a swimming shorts (or a swimsuit). Bonus! A whole getup with snorkel, flippers, and inner tube
95. Ask people what sex they are. Bonus! Check.
96. Open the window, stick your head out, and yell "I'm king of the world!"
97. Re-enact the history of the world, using classmates as props.
98. Calmly walk up to the projector, throw it up against the wall, and sit down.
99. Yell "It's a bomb!", throw a chair or desk out the window and duck under another desk. Bonus! Throw a real bomb out the window.
100. When asked to answer a question, speak as if they were your dying words.
101. Pretend you're a conductor, and as each person speaks, point at them exaggeratedly, and make enormous hand gestures.

And now; some from other people!

Cough as loud as possible, at random times, and see
how many people who sit by you that you can annoy.
Bonus! Try and get people across the room to join you.

Speak in a fake British accent, and say "Egads, I've
gone British, wot wot!" afterwards.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Wednesday, March 24th, 2004

Time:10:09 pm.
Mood: dorky.
Music:Twista - overnight celebrity.
(Why don't we...)
Play somethin' these hoes'll like
Drive whips i know they like
Twista you told 'em right...
I can make you a celebrity overnight...
Give you ice like Kobe wife...
We sort of like goldie right...
Tha way we mold 'em right...
I can make you a celebrity overnight...

Girl I see you in them apple bottom jeans, chinchilla on yo back I wanna know yo name,
Girl don't twist it I can throw yo brain, put you in tha chameleon 04 range,
Still sexy when you smoke that flame, jerkin' like a chicken when you throw that thang,
She got me hotter than an oven tha way that she talk, twitchin' and freaky so I'm lovin' tha way that she walk,
You lookin' good girl you oughta be in pictures... Listen to me I see yo career goin' sky high,
Takin' you home to the crib in the Chi and everytime I see your thighs I cry when i drive by,
Watch it you should bring a thrill, got tha fellas on some Johnny Gills steady screamin "My, my, my, my"
Walk on tha carpet wit tha diamonds that flick in tha dark, kickin' it on tha couch and 106 & Park,
I can see yo beauty on a big screen... I can see me freakin' you wit' whip cream...
I can see you on stage at the awards, wit' a dress better then Jennifer's and doin' big things,
Kick it wit' me I can mold yo life, you lookin' good girl show you right,
Dre told me you tha prototype, I can make you a celebrity overnight...

(Why don't we...)
Play somethin' these hoes'll like
Drive whips i know they like
Twista you told 'em right...
I can make you a celebrity overnight...
Give you ice like Kobe wife...
We sort of like goldie right...
Tha way we mold 'em right...
I can make you a celebrity overnight...

You want fame you can take that path, candle lights when you take a bath,
You got such a sensational ass, Im'a get you Jimmy Chu and Mark Jacobs bags,
I could cop her a 2000 thousand and three, make her smile when she see Sprees,
I can get you on CD's and DVD's, take you to BB's in BCB-G,
I could get you into places, the beginnin' to the people I know'll show you things to get into,
I wanna be yo lover and yo confidant and protect you from others, don't let another brotha pimp you,
If you want tha style you could wit' ya girl, ya'll take a look at her she got such an astonishin' body,
I could see you in some Gucci Karaba Kovali and now but she gon' put a hurt on 'em hard in tha party,
And you know you kill 'em in tha club, you cold, you was born to be a pro, how you gon' stick to photos?
And I love you 'cuz you freaky wit' tha dope flows, drop it to tha floor let that go when you roll slow,
And I love it when I hit it from tha back and you get on top of me and have a brotha goin "Oh, oh, oh"
Girl I love how you roll me right, I can make you a celebrity overnight...

See...
See baby girl...
You see how you make a brotha break down?
I just gotta ask you...
What you need?
What you need from me?
Oh, you wanna me a star?
Oh, you messin' wit' tha right one...
I can take you there...
I can make sure you got all the finest things...
Let me be yo manager...

Come here girl I can see you bored, take you to tha queen that I see you for,
Take you shoppin' on Sprees in stores, Im'a get you to the MTV awards,
We about to do a show tonight, you lookin' good girl show you right,
Take you places I know you like, I can make you a celebrity overnight,
Come here girl you can hang if you bored, we can do many things plus more,
I'm about to have you changin' in stores, I can even get you to the Soul Train Awards,
We about to do a show tonight, you lookin' good girl show you right,
Take you places I know you like, I can make you a celebrity overnight...
Comments: Add Your Own.

Monday, March 22nd, 2004

Time:7:01 pm.
Me gustan los aviones, me gustas tu.
Me gusta viajar, me gustas tu.
Me gusta la mañana, me gustas tu.
Me gusta el viento, me gustas tu.
Me gusta soñar, me gustas tu.
Me gusta la mar, me gustas tu.
Que voy a hacer ,
Je ne sais pas
Que voy a hacer
Je ne sais plus
Que voy a hacer
Je suis perdu
Que horas son, mI corazón
Me gusta la moto, me gustas tu.
Me gusta correr, me gustas tu.
Me gusta la lluvia, me gustas tu.
Me gusta volver, me gustas tu.
Me gusta marihuana, me gustas tu.
Me gusta colombiana, me gustas tu.
Me gusta la montaña, me gustas tu.
Me gusta la noche, me gustas tu.
Que voy a hacer ,
Je ne sais pas
Que voy a hacer
Je ne sais plus
Que voy a hacer
Je suis perdu
Que horas son, mI corazón
Me gusta la cena, me gustas tu.
Me gusta la vecina, me gustas tu.
Me gusta su cocina, me gustas tu.
Me gusta camelar, me gustas tu.
Me gusta la guitarra, me gustas tu.
Me gusta el regaee, me gustas tu.
Que voy a hacer ,
Je ne sais pas
Que voy a hacer
Je ne sais plus
Que voy a hacer
Je suis perdu
Que horas son, mI corazón
Me gusta la canela, me gustas tu.
Me gusta el fuego, me gustas tu.
Me gusta menear, me gustas tu.
Me gusta la Coruña, me gustas tu.
Me gusta Malasaña, me gustas tu.
Me gusta la castaña, me gustas tu.
Me gusta Guatemala, me gustas tu.
Que voy a hacer ,
Je ne sais pas
Que voy a hacer
Je ne sais plus
Que voy a hacer
Je suis perdu
Que horas son, mI corazón
Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:NEW STUDY!!!
Time:6:00 pm.
Beer Study:

Yesterday scientists suggested that in consideration of the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer, men should take a look cutting back their beer consumption.

Scientists discovered the female hormones while conducting a study in which 100 men were fed a case of beer within a one hour time period.
The scientists observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong.

NO further testing is planned.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Friday, March 19th, 2004

Time:8:34 am.
Somebody said they saw you
the person you were kissing wasnt me
and i would never ask you
i just kept it to myself

I don't wanna know
if your playin me
keep it on the low
cuz my heart cant take it anymore
and if your creepin
please dont let it show
oh baby i dont wanna know

i think about it
when i hold you
when lookin in your eyes
i cant believe
i dont need to know the truth
baby keep it to yourself

I don't wanna know
if your playin me
keep it on the low
cuz my heart cant take it anymore
and if your creepin
please dont let it show
oh baby i dont wanna know

Baby taught you better than this
Baby i want to fall asleep
But your showin all those things
that you used to do to me
if your better off that way
baby all that i can say
go and do your thing
and stay away from me

I dont really know your where-abouts
or how you movin
but I know
when your in the house
and when your cruisin
its been proven
my love you been abusin'
I can't understand how a man got you choosin
undecided I came improvided
my undivided
you came and denied it
dont even try it
I know when your lyin
dont even do that
I know why your cryin
im not applying any pressure
I just want to let you know
that I dont want to let you go
and I dont want to let you leave
you cant say I didnt let you breathe gave you extra cheese
put you in the SUV
you wanted ice
so I made you freeze
made you hot like the west indies
now its time you invest in me
if not than its best you leave

I don't wanna know
if your playin me
keep it on the low
cuz my heart cant take it anymore
and if your creepin
please dont let it show
oh baby I dont wanna know
Comments: Add Your Own.

Thursday, March 18th, 2004

Time:6:32 am.
Mood: creative.
I prefer you in the early morning hours, it’s more appropriate, unless special request, I can take you at night as well.

I can almost taste you, my tongue quivering in delight at just the thought of the sensation.

You are like most of the others that I have encountered, but I prefer to think that you are particularly made just for me.

I look down upon you, my hands grasping your sides. I feel that you are a bit cold; I’ve always encountered this problem, but I’ve memorized the solution.

Just five minutes, I promise.

It won’t be too long before I can feel you, growing that ever longing feeling in my lower stomach that I need satisfied.

I rip you open; a small gasp escapes my mouth as you show me your contents.

Along with your comrades, you are solid. I should have known.

You slide out of your constrictive box that held you in there so long.

I hesitantly place my fingers along you, making sure you are positioned in such a way I see fit, hoping each of your comrades gets equal attention to the heat.

Why, why has Jimmy Dean done this to you, my dear breakfast sausage?
Comments: Add Your Own.

Wednesday, March 17th, 2004

Time:5:10 pm.
Mood: moody.
Music:Kanye West - Two Words.
It’s been in this time that he’s lived and died. Drunken parodies of himself when his ego’s lied. Feasting off loose women with tight ideas of love. They’ve got thick thighs, brown eyes, and all of the above. Innocence means nothing as the hymen is torn forever more. Purity lost in a night of lust but never thought of like that before. The self proclaimed “God’s Gift To Women” preys alone on the street corner. Looking for more of the lost like an exiled foreigner.

He spots one far up the block so he quickly goes and jumps in his ride. New thoughts of fornication raid his mind pushing his last escapade aside. He rolls up along side of her with the Spreewell’s still spinning on his Benz. Planning on breaking her in without spending any ends. He prompt’s her to hop in real quick. Thinking to himself, “I’ll press the clutch while she works the stick.” She’s young and naïve so she doesn’t contest. She’s just another victim of this BEAST more or less.

Not even a smile away a woman is playing the same exact game. She hits the pockets before she hits the skins, but it’s still the same. She figures, “You gotta give a little to get a lot back.” Then she glances at her posterior and thinks that’s where the money’s at. Her slim waist is accented by the curves of bust. Her round hips catch many men lost in a gaze of lust. The fire in her eyes is only matched by the kiss of her lips. It catches most by surprise even as their heart skips.

This particular one she’s been working on hasn’t got a clue. She takes him in her mouth and her tongue turns like a screw. Or at least that’s what he imagines when he gazes at her mouth. Never realizing that this woman’s head never goes south. She tells him that she wants to go to dinner. Before hand they drive past his 3 friends so they’ll think he’s the winner. As they do she licks her lips and winks at them all. Her pinkie goes to her mouth and her thumb to her ear, “I’ll call.”

A trace of that mans broken heart can be found on his slit wrists. The same goes for the young girl added to the Beasts list. She went out a different way but what does it matter? They shouldn’t through bricks at glass hearts because they shatter. Caught between a childhood problem and insecurity of both male and female. They’re both put to the test but neither could prevail. There’s always hope that things will turn around. But love leaves people jaded so they’ve found.

The games played aren’t for everyone yet all are in danger. One can get caught up by a mere glance or a feigned kiss from a stranger. Who’s to say that the strings of the heart aren’t being plucked like a harp? The fingers of love can be smooth and gentle or crude and sharp. It is a battlefield in which mercy is a luxury only for the strong. The weak perish in the wake of a dawn that takes too long. Still, it is human nature to destroy itself and all others. Turning little girls into mothers and older sisters in big brothers.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Sunday, March 14th, 2004

Time:6:44 pm.
The words have been drained from this pencil
Sweet words that I want to give you
And I cant sleep, I need to tell you... goodnight

When we’re together I fell perfect
When I’m pulled away from you I fall apart
All that you say is sacred to me
Your eyes are so blue, I can’t look away as we lay in the stillness
Oh you don’t have to ask me, you know you’re all that I live for
You know I’d die just to hold you, stay with you
Somehow I’ll show you that you are my night sky
I’ve always been right behind you
Now I’ll always be right beside you

So many nights I’ve cried myself to sleep
Now that you love me I love myself
I never thought I would say that
I never thought there’d be you
Comments: Add Your Own.

Time:6:37 pm.
Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
Maybe someday you'll look up,
And, barely conscious, you'll say to no one:
"Isn't something missing?"

You won't cry for my absence, I know -
You forgot me long ago.
Am I that unimportant...?
Am I so insignificant...?
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?

Even though I'd be sacrificed,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't someone missing me?

Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
I know what you do to yourself,
I breathe deep and cry out:
"Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?"

And if I bleed, I'll bleed,
Knowing you don't care.
And if I sleep just to dream of you
And wake without you there,
Isn't something missing?
Isn't something...

Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?
Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:...is this what you want to hear megan?...
Time:6:34 pm.
Mood: cynical.
I'd give anything to give me to you
Can you forget the world that you thought you knew
If you want me,
Come and find me
Nothing's stopping you so please release me

I'll believe
All your lies
Just pretend you love me
Make believe
Close your eyes
I'll be anything for you

Have you left to make me feel anymore
There's only you and everyday I need more
If you want me
Come and find me
I'll do anything you say just tell me

I'll believe
All your lies
Just pretend you love me
Make believe
Close your eyes
I'll be anything for you

I'll believe
All your lies
Just pretend you love me
Make believe
Close your eyes
I'll be anything for you

Anything for you
Overcome your urge inside
Will ever never die
I'll be, everything you need

I'll believe
All your lies
Just pretend you love me
Make believe
Close your eyes
I'll be anything for you
Comments: Add Your Own.

Saturday, March 13th, 2004

Subject:...the truth....
Time:10:46 am.
(10:32:56) MegLRam: Hey you
(10:33:06) GodsmackOD: Hello.
(10:33:11) MegLRam: How was your trip?
(10:33:37) GodsmackOD: Good.
(10:34:12) MegLRam: I just wanted to see how you were doing.. I know we're still not on good terms... but I'm just having a bad time lately and I want to try to make peace with everyone
(10:34:21) MegLRam: As ludicrous as that sounds
(10:34:37) GodsmackOD: You assume we're not on good terms.
(10:34:58) MegLRam: Well, when you were getting ready to leave we weren't
(10:35:17) GodsmackOD: That was a while.
(10:36:14) MegLRam: Yeah, well, I still don't wanna assume everything is peachy if you're still pissed at me deep down
(10:36:42) GodsmackOD: Why not have a positive outlook?
(10:36:50) MegLRam: Cuz I'm sick of life
(10:37:06) MegLRam: I'm sick of the random obstacles and pain
(10:37:27) GodsmackOD: That's life.
(10:37:48) GodsmackOD: And no, I'm not mad at you. I have a new outlook on life.
(10:38:05) MegLRam: and what's that
(10:38:26) GodsmackOD: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. If you only love those who love you back, there's no reward in htat.
(10:38:52) MegLRam: My new outlook is that people hurt you no matter how hard they try not to, and I'm sick of that
(10:39:08) MegLRam: Do you know how stupid I'm thinking right now? I'm so sick of everything I don't wanna be here
(10:39:34) GodsmackOD: Who hurts you?
(10:39:44) MegLRam: Everybody
(10:39:55) MegLRam: My mom, my grandmother, Jeff, friends, people
(10:40:15) GodsmackOD: Have I ever hurt you?
(10:40:51) MegLRam: We both have hurt each other in the past
(10:41:31) GodsmackOD: .....I don't ever remembering hurting you.
(10:41:45) MegLRam: So yet again I'm the one who does all the hurting?
(10:41:52) GodsmackOD: I never said it was all you.
(10:41:57) MegLRam: What purpous do I serve anymore?
(10:42:31) GodsmackOD: Can I ask you a question? Without you getting pissed off and leaving?
(10:42:44) MegLRam: I can't promise that
(10:42:59) MegLRam: I'm on the edge and on a crying binge
(10:43:00) GodsmackOD: Alright. Do you mind if I ask? Because if you'd rather not hear it, I won't say it.
(10:43:10) MegLRam: Ask away
(10:43:38) GodsmackOD: Why is it that whenever things aren't going your way, you come to me to try to recind all your problems with me, yet only disappear again?
(10:44:15) MegLRam: Well I'm fucking sorry
(10:44:21) MegLRam logged out.
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Friday, March 12th, 2004

Time:10:40 pm.
Girlfriend's Handbook

Disclaimer: These characteristics are not displayed by all girlfriends. Just the annoying ones.

1. The girlfriend should not be required to pay for anything. That is the responsibility of the boyfriend, and the girlfriend should reconsider any man who cannot “dish out the dough”

***Of course, men have a little pot of gold at the end of their rainbow that can be reached by rubbing their lucky charms, why would you think otherwise? No they don’t have car insurance, tuition, or books to pay for, they have no problem paying for you to eat dinner and go to the movies every week. You wouldn’t want to have to pay for every single movie ticket, dinner, dance ticket, cab fare, and Christina Aguilera CD that he wants would you? Of course not. Be a little self- supportive and split the bill, or *gasp* offer to pay in full occasionally.

2. The girlfriend should pick out clothes and hairstyles for her man based on her desires.

***Do you know what this implies? This implies that A) You never grow out of that phase where you liked to dress up Ken and Barbie (or undress, if you were into that sort of thing) and B) That you aren’t satisfied with his appearance. If you insist on dragging your new punk squeeze into Abercrombie & Finch, and cutting off his purple Mohawk, maybe you should consider returning the favor and allowing him to don you in Playmate outfits, complete with the bunny ears, and parade through the streets. Think about that.

3. The girlfriend should never be in the presence of her man if she is sick, devoid of makeup, or having a “fat day”.

*** Generally, if you’re dating someone it’s because you like something about each other called PERSONALITY. Say it with me class, PERSONALITY. I’m not recommending you visit you honey bunch when you’re projective vomiting, or haven’t showered recently, but seeing you in your natural glory, without makeup and push up bras will not have any negative effect on him. You never know, the natural look may be a turn on.

4. The girlfriend needs to make herself the center of her man’s universe.

*** There is an epidemic among the male population. Its symptoms include:
-An inability to hang out with friends
-A constant need to explain his absence for one night.
-Being surrounded by only the friends of his girlfriend.
-Feeling compelled to shower his woman with gifts (See section 1)
-Being referred to as whipped.
Remedy? Let go of the leash! Let him hang out with his friends, and don’t force yours upon him. There’s nothing wrong with his friends, even if they do have an Olsen Twin fetish.

5. The girlfriend needs to establish her “territory” and fend off any woman who comes within sight of her man.

*** Let’s take the green down a notch huh? Envy really isn’t your color. Talking to a girl from Physics and sleeping with the town bicycle are two totally different things. On the other hand, if a girl is openly making a move, let the bitch have it, using claws, hair pulling, biting, and a few old fashioned right hooks.

6. The girlfriend should adopt pet names like “Sweetie pie”, “Lovemuffen”, “Honey Cakes” or “Raging Stallion” (actually, he might like the last one) And she should expect her boyfriend to do the same.

***The only thing that makes me feel like vomiting more than watching Martha Stewart is listening to couples throw stupid pet names back and forth.
Example:
Bianca: Oh Lovemuffen, I can’t wait to see the widdle teddy bear you bought me.
Humphrey: Of course pumpkin, it’s pink, like the ribbon in your hair.
Bianca: Oh, my little love monkey, I could just bonk you on your widdle nose….
Humphrey: Aww, my cute little lamb chop….

Bleh! Drop the ridiculous pet names, and help improve the English language….

7. The girlfriend should maintain her control over her boyfriend through the use of sex (or the lack thereof).

*** Ermmm….actually I’m going to leave this one alone.

8. The girlfriend is responsible for picking the movie at all times.

*** Despite what your boyfriend says to keep you happy, he does not want to sit through Runaway Bride for the twenty-eighth time (How can you sit through that even once???) If you at least occasionally watch something he chooses, you won’t be engaging in torture any more, and you may even discover *gasp* a movie you like that doesn’t feature Julia Roberts.

9. If it looks as if the girlfriend may not get her way, or she’s backed into a corner, turn on the water works, full power.

***
Example:
Fiona: Let’s go out tonight.
Wallace: Sorry, I have an English paper to write.
Fiona: But I wanted to go see Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen!!!!!
Wallace: We can go tomorrow; this paper is worth 70 % of my grade
Fiona: ……..*lip trembling*……
Wallace: No…please don’t…….
Fiona: *screaming/crying hysterically* WAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!! You don’t love me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wallace: Shit! No, really I do, it’s just…..
Fiona: WAHHHH WAHHH WAHHHH WAHHH You like my sister more than me……WAAAAAA!
Wallace: Argh! No I don’t! I mean she’s hot but….
Fiona: *crying at ear-splitting decibel now* WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!
Wallace: Alright, alright, let’s see the movie. There’s always summer school…….Just please stop crying…….
Fiona: *suddenly happy* Okay, let’s get a sundae too!

Don’t use crying as a means of getting your way. That makes you no better than the screaming toddler in Wal-Mart begging for a cookie.

10. The girlfriend should feel encouraged to use words like “commitment” “marriage” “love” “post-marital” and “the future” because guys like that sort of thing.

***Personally, the thought of saying any of that makes me want to curl into the fetal position and shake, but I hear this complaint frequently from guys. The first through tenth dates or so should have absolutely no mention of the future; you don’t know how things will turn out yet. As for the ominous “L” word, that is overused. Save that until you mean it. And by mean it, I mean with 100% belief that you cannot feel the same way about your man with anybody else, not just because you get butterflies looking at his god-like abs and bronze skin. That’s a great way to get the deer in the headlights look from your guy.

I hope that was helpful to someone, whether you’re in a relationship, or still in the batting cages.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Thursday, March 11th, 2004

Time:8:18 pm.
I would like to think of myself as a very open and tolerant person, but since I’m a human being, I think we all know that this is not completely true. I, just like all of you, including my fourth grade teacher who really shouldn't’t blame me for sticking the glue in Tyler’s hair, can cross over the fine line from “annoyed” to “I will be forced to stick my pencil up your nose if you do that again”. Very little can do this, but, I would have to say that purposefully annoying people, teachers (don’t hurt me, I’ll explain later!!), and computers can drive me to within an inch of what sanity I have.

Annoying people. Like some killer plague, they are everywhere. I know everybody has their annoying moments, but some people DO NOT know when to stop, or worse, they do, they just get a kick out of watching us normal people pull out some kind of weapon and chase them around. No worries, though, I have found out why they do this: it’s a diabolical scheme of theirs to take over the world. Oh yeah, you laugh now, but I have one word for you: NAQUAPA. Okay, technically, it’s seven words: National Association of Qualified Underground Annoying People Anonymous, and they are planning on world domination, one person at a time. They have annoying people smuggled to all kinds of positions, primarily ALL AROUND ME, and also big, world changing places, like the White House and Starbucks Headquarters…

You know those kinda people I’m talking about, like the one boy who constantly refers to you as “Fuzz ball” until the day you completely snap and wind up in the principal’s office trying to explain just how that paperclip ended up in his nose. And, of course, the one babysitting charge who waits patiently until after you finish your Geometry homework to “oops!” accidentally spill her grape juice all over it. And the one kid who comes up to you, says, “Okay, so these two muffins are sitting in an oven, and one muffin says to the other, ‘We are about to be baked to death, have any last words?’ and the second muffin goes, ‘OH MY GOD! A TALKING MUFFIN!!’” He pauses, letting the punch line sink in, then laughs in a manner not unlike rabid hyena on steroids and runs away. Yeah, you know these people I’m talking about.

Annoying people is about a seven out of ten on my “Peeves O-Meter”, but what ranks a two? Definitely teachers. Now wait, before you flunk me, let me defend my position. Teachers are wonderful, thoughtful people who live on a meager salary while enduring an eight plus hour work day that is FILLED WITH OBNOXIOUS, UNGRATEFUL CHILDREN WHO THINK THEY KNOW EVERYTHING and they manage to retire BEFORE they wind up driving their cars off the nearest cliff. So I can perfectly understand why you annoy me, because I annoy you. The only problem with teachers is what happens when you forget something.

It happens like this: “Where’s your homework?” “I forgot it.” Then, they make the trademark “tsk tsk” throat noise, which was taught to them at teacher school, and say, “Well, why did you do that?” Now is the perfect time to say something like, “Because I forgot to remember that I forgot,” but since the teacher is staring at you with that Evil Glare O’ Death, which was another thing taught to them in teacher school, you say the most intelligent thing you can when your brain is slowly being melted into a goop: “I just did.” Then, here we go again, the teacher lurches into the “Responsibility Speech”: “I would have expected more from a (insert age here) year old, now that you are going into (insert next grade here) I do think you should remember more things, because I depend on you as a (insert age here) year old! Almost an adult!” Then, they round it up with the good ol’ “What If” question: “What if you just ‘forgot’ to put your seatbelt on and CRASH!! blah yak yak blah” or “What if you were an average working adult and you just ‘forgot’ your home loan blah yadda chat….” Or, my favorite, “What if I am the student and you are the teacher?”

Look, lady, after this lecture, I don’t even want to IMAGINE being a teacher, for fear I’ll get too into my fantasy and run out of the class, trying to kill myself with the sharpest thing I could find, like a staple dispenser. God bless you, teachers, there should be a National Try Not To Act Annoying To Your Teacher week (and that would include all you NAQUAPA members).

So, teachers rank a two out of ten on my “Peeve O-Meter”. The last one is definitely… computers. There are some people (my friend) who came out of the womb with natural instincts on how to operate a computer, and I am not one of them. If you want to buy me a keyboard for my birthday, I suggest that it just has four buttons: “Esc”, “Ctrl”, “Alt” and “Delete”. They are the only keys I use anyway. Say, I nonchalantly walk into the computer room while my friend is doing a homework project and I’ll say something like, “Woah! You can actually write words on the screen?!?” And he’ll say, in a completely normal voice because he knows that when it comes to computers, I have the average intelligence of sandpaper, “Yes, it’s called ‘Word Pad’.” I am so blown back by this that, say, when my friend starts playing a game (“Mega Mutilation Annihilation Killer Zombies From Mars VIII, now, with Ultra-Graphics”) I’m so shocked that I pass out.

I can’t help the fact that certain things annoy me. I think a “Pet Peeve” is something that will always bother you until the end of time and will make you scream at the top of your lungs that you will go insane and take everybody with you. And in this world, annoying people, teachers, and computers are the main things that can send me plummeting off the edge and into court, if you get my drift. Want to know something scary? I have a countless number of pet peeves, and I haven’t even started driving yet. I suggest all you people with “NAQUAPA” bumper stickers stay off the road. Thank you.
Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.

Tuesday, March 9th, 2004

Subject:....too bad this isn't for anyone....god i hate being lonely.....
Time:7:16 am.
Mood: hopeful.
How many times have I called you
While you were working just to say
Left messages on your answering machine
About three or four times a day
There aren't many more ways in words that I can say
So I'll just say numerically from my heart to you - 143

So many times I've brought roses
Just to see that smile on your face
I can't remember how many e-mails I sent you
Just to tell you about my day
There aren't many more ways in words that I can say
So I'll just say numerically from my soul to you - 143

Girl you know you are so special to me
And you deserve to be treated exclusively
I treat you like Valentines Day 365 a year
Make sure that everything you need will always be right here
I just refuse to be your typical ordinary run of the mill
Garden variety lover
I'll make sure everyday you live will be like Christmas Eve
I wanna make you feel fine
Just like a summer breeze
Cause I refuse to be predictable average run of the mill
Garden variety love
See sometimes words may get in the way
Of things that you really really meant to say
So I wanna out this time to make sure that how I really feel
Gets through to you
Cause listen
There aren't many more ways and words that I can say
So I choose to tell you how I feel in a numerical way'
Got so tired of trying to find the most complicated way
To say it to you so I simplified and broke it down
To 143 - and that means I love you
Comments: Add Your Own.

Monday, March 8th, 2004

Time:8:41 pm.
Graveyard not far from me.
Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.

Blurty for laughter of the leaves.

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