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Blurty for laughter of the leaves.
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| Friday, March 26th, 2004 |
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I'm no longer on Blurty. Sick of it. Going to LJ. If you want to find me, i'll be at http://www.livejournal.com/users/old_swiss/ |
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You got me open like a liquor store Loves so strong that i don't want no more I can't describe the way you got me shook, You're like a drug girl u got me hooked. You're the queen i see in my dreams, Wanna taste some of your ice cream, I can't describe the way you got me shook, You're like a drug girl you got me hooked. My boy's say i'm trippin' but i'm like so cause you got me open I don't care who knows when it comes to you baby anything goes, you're just like that drug that they smoke,you got my mind twisted and all tied up,from your conversation and gentle touch,what ever you want baby never too much,baby sit back and let me take a puff. I don't even smoke but that's quite alright cuz when you with me it's like a natural high,Just like Marvin Gaye touchin' his keyboard, when you touch me you make me say"Oh Lord" girl you got every little bit of my soul makin' it hard for me to gain control even when i try to tell myself no there's a little voice sayin' one more, i'm on these streets like a zombie,lookin for you,come rescue me, yeah Check, I'm like thinking about you all day and ah, I been wanting you in a strong way and ah ain't nobodydo it like you do me.Dat kinda lovin' make a thug say oo-wee.Old sayin' when it rains it pours and I ain't never in my life felt this way before. Baby girl you the only one that I adore. You're one in the game, let me settle the score. What is this that you put on me, I'm so gone and I can't eat and I feel so weak I don't need it but it's calling me you're my love addiction I can't kick baby I'm feelin' for another hit.one more time girl i swear that's it This love-this love. |
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 Furnulum pani nolo. "I don't want a toaster." Generally, things (like this quiz) tend to tick you off. You have contemplated doing grievous bodily harm to door-to-door salesmen. Which Weird Latin Phrase Are You? brought to you by Quizilla  you are the "you suck, and that's sad" happy bunny. your truthful, but can be a bit brutal. which happy bunny are you? brought to you by Quizilla  You are Snoopy! Which Peanuts Character are You? brought to you by Quizilla |
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Now that we came here to do
It means more to me than just a night That we share So make sure that you're prepared Baby and know that love is not just something to do It's the moment that transcends Our physical into a more spiritual level of understanding And who knows Somehow this night Just might lead us into a place Where our emotions can grow if we let them go Cause who knows What may happen If we act on our attractions And loose ourselves Inside a world made for us And no one else Hey girl just let me love you Now aint no need to be afraid Cause I'll be as gentle as it takes To provide you with the right amount of Pleasure and pain I'll Make sure that you feel alright Even if it takes me all night Cause the joy is all mine When I know your satisfied So lets keep giving all we got And who knows Somehow this night Just might lead us into a place Where our emotions can grow if we let them go Cause who knows What may happen If we act on our attractions And loose ourselves Inside a world made for us And no one else Hey girl just let me love you Listen, now I can see it in your eyes (yeah) (I can handle whatever's on your mind) That you want to baby just as bad as I do (and girl I wanna give it to you) Now if you can just set aside your fears And just try to deal with what's going on with us right now And who knows Somehow this night Just might lead us into a place Where our emotions can grow if we let them go Cause who knows What may happen If we act on our attractions And loose ourselves Inside a world made for us And no one else Hey girl just let me love you |
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| Thursday, March 25th, 2004 |
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The following is a list of things to do when you are bored, I do not give permission nor can I be held responsible, to do anything on this list, Thank you, Your superior. 1. Wax the ceiling 2. Buy cheese 3. Drop your cat from a high place, to see if it really does land on all four feet 4. Repeat above until failure 5. Load Snood onto a friend’s computer 6. Sharpen your teeth 7. Do the magician “saw a box trick” with your sister/brother 8. Wash behind your ears 9. Clean and polish your belly button 10. Ask people if they want to see your “belly button treasure” 11. Wash a tree 12. Flirt with an evergreen 13. Find a male 14. Mail him 15. Knight yourself and some close friends 16. Complain about your nose hurting 17. Give your cat a Mohawk 18. Purr 19. Mow your carpet 20. Rake your carpet (to clean up the clippings, of course) 21. Whine 22. Play BSB cds backwards 23. Re-elect Bill Clinton 24. Dress up in a cow suit… go to the supermarket 25. Moo 26. Play with matches 27. Buff your cat 28. Raise professional racing llamas 29. Join debate and agree with everyone 30. Dial-a-prayer and argue 31. Read homer in the original Greek 32. Learn Greek 33. Change your mind 34. Change it back 35. Watch the sun see if it moves 36. Ask a question 37. Answer it 38. Paint your windows 39. Flash your goldfish 40. Paint 41. Smile 42. Paint a smile 43. Shoot at a toaster 44. Apologize to it 45. See if you really can build a small nuclear device in your basement 46. Rotate your garden…daily 47. Plant a shoe 48. Water it 49. Sweat 50. Give an ink blot test to your gerbil 51. Take apart the toaster and microwave 52. Mix and match the parts 53. Turn your TV upside down 54. Take an ant for a walk 55. Take your aunt for a walk 56. Sell dirty socks 57. Start 58. Stop 59. Dial 911and breathe heavily 60. Go to a funeral and tell jokes 61. Put lighted exit signs on all your closets 62. Carry a tune 63. Drop it, see if it breaks 64. Starch your underwear 65. Contemplate a cockroach 66. Get a bug to chase your car 67. Let him catch it 68. Start a club 69. Make everyone who joined pay dues, then call it stupid and quit 70. Wear a salad 71. Ride a loaf of bread 72. Annoy yourself 73. Get angry with yourself 74. Stop speaking to yourself 75. Kiss and make up with yourself 76. Stand on your head 77. Stand on someone else’s head 78. Learn everything there is to know about the three toed sloth 79. Laugh at a teachers puns 80. Build a pyramid 81. Paint your teeth 82. Climb a sidewalk 83. Speak with a lisp 84. MAKE a drive in window at the dairy-queen 85. Walk on water, but DON’T get caught 86. Shave a shrub 87. Have a proton fight 88. Watch a home movie and make fun of yourself as a kid 89. Quiver 90. Learn to type with your toes 91. Recite romantic poetry to your washing machine 92. Buy the Eiffel tower 93. Mail it to a friend 94. Make them pay the postage 95. Be in the wrong place at the right time 96. Be someone special 97. Plot the overthrow of your local school board 98. Request covert assistance from the CIA 99. Factor your social security number 100. Read the 1962 Los Angeles white pages 101. Plead the fifth 102. Plead the sixth 103. Plead the 8,003rd 104. Learn to read Sanskrit 105. Learn to write Sanskrit 106. Exist… existentially of course 107. Search for buried treasure… in Idaho 108. Hot wax the bottom of your brothers/sisters dress shoes 109. Print counterfeit confederate money 110. Kick a cabbage 111. Say you’re sorry 112. Take a picture 113. Put it back 114. Sand a mushroom 115. Find the heat capacity of your science professor 116. Play solitaire for cash 117. Abuse your patio furniture 118. Run for Pope 119. If you don’t win, run for God 120. If you still don’t win, run for mayor of Idaho 121. Try harder 122. Write a book about life, call it death 123. Make a quilt of used napkins 124. Revert 125. Sleep on a bed of nails 126. Don’t toss and turn 127. Think shallow thoughts 128. Drown in them 129. Have your favorite sock bronzed 130. Boil ice cream 131. Blast pop music through town 132. Carve your boyfriend\girlfriend\crushes’ initials in a marshmallow 133. Speak in acronyms 134. Drive the speed limit, in your garage 135. Make a schematic drawing of a rock 136. Become a rabid Pog fan 137. Sing the national anthem during your English final 138. Pay off the national debt, with a bad check 139. Calmly have a nervous breakdown 140. Give your goldfish a perm 141. Paint your home bright orange 142. Play tag on I95 143. Find the nearest nowhere and go there 144. Exorcize a ghost 145. Go to a cemetery and verbally abuse dead people 146. Paint stripes on a lake 147. Two words… Hot Dog 148. Explain random theories 149. Test thin ice with a pogo stick 150. Apply for a unicorn hunting license 151. Defend your neighborhood from flesh eating robots 152. Do a good job 153. Crawl 154. Be a side affect 155. Be a front defect 156. Play hockey with your little cousin… as the puck 157. Duck 158. Goose 159. Play duck duck goose 160. Join the army, be someone simple 161. Think like a zebra 162. Hit the deck 163. Cut the deck 164. Swab the deck 165. Put leg warmers on your furniture 166. Be number six 167. Sit 168. Stay 169. Roll over 170. Play dead 171. Scheme 172. Spray your family room with febreeze 173. Cause a power failure 174. Pour instant concrete in your sister/brother waterbed 175. Give a lecture tour on the historical significance of wart remover 176. Wiggle 177. Be Polish 178. Be Canadian 179. Be Idahodian 180. Donate your brother’s/sister's body to science 181. Watch the Wonder Years 182. Wonder 183. Give someone a kiss on the lips… in the middle of class… that hates you 184. Be a square root 185. Park your car with a “friend” 186. Park your car with a group of “friends” 187. Ask stupid questions 188. Answer them 189. Spew 190. Say “moist” 191. Put a stick on the sidewalk 192. Laugh when someone trips 193. Laugh REALLY REALLY hard if they break a bone 194. Solve the population problem i.e. x +2y-16x = population 195. Contribute to the population problem 196. Interview a member of the opposite sex 197. Ask embarrassing questions 198. Go to a drive-in movie in a tank 199. Go to a non-drive-in movie in a tank and drive in anyway 200. Crumble 201. Crumple 202. Make up a new language 203. Use it often 204. Be stupid for a day 205. Do aerobics...in your head 206. Play cards with your swimming pool 207. Bother a sibling, profusely 208. Send your iguana to obedience school 209. Pinstripe your driveway 210. Play "Kick the fire-hydrant" 211. Chipmunk power 212. Free the oppressed toaster-ovens of America 213. Free the obsessed toaster-ovens of America 214. Mug a stop sign 215. Join your local AA meetings 216. Go for a walk in the attic 217. Challenge the neighbor kid to duel 218. Find a witch 219. Burn her 220. Regress 221. Find out how many ways there really are to skin a cat 222. Go bow hunting for Toyotas 223. Kidnap Cabbage Patch Kids 224. Boldly go where no man has gone before 225. Jump back 226. Play to lose 227. Snort 228. Be a threat to the American way of life 229. Be a threat to the Northwest Tibetan way of life 230. Re-establish the Roman Empire in Idaho 231. Have your car painted plaid 232. Found the TLO (Tomato Liberation Organization) 233. Play nuclear chicken with a small third world nation 234. Cockfight turnips 235. Give your grandmother a raise...and another week paid vacation 236. Sharpen your sleeping skills 237. Put out a fire 238. If you can't find one make one 239. Ionize your new chemistry professor (you took the heat capacity of the first one) 240. Make a life-sized replica of the Statue of Liberty...out of grape Jell-O 241. Tree a goldfish 242. Get a college education 243. Bury your father’s dodge 244. Tell him your the dog did it 245. Catch a falling star 246. Throw it back 247. Place your cat in hyperspace 248. Again tell your dad the dog did it 249. Throw a sleepover 250. Catch it 251. Talk to people who are half asleep (What do you really think about me?”) 252. Install handicapped access to the {your favorite pathetic baseball team's} dugout 253. Provide a reason to everyone why they should love you 254. Prove once and for all that a cow can jump over the moon 255. Complain to God that Jupiter has more moons than we do 256. Blow spit bubbles 257. Become a Hermit on your front lawn (works best if you live on a main road!) 258. Find pepper and dust and break the world record of sneezes 259. Attack the annoying Microsoft-word cat with your mouse cursor 260. Have a starring contest with the aforementioned 261. Have a Weezer marathon… 262. …Then play MSI 263. Build a house on the Sims and name the people Mr. and Mrs. (crush name here) 264. Wiggle your leg 265. Smile all day for a day 266. Count to a million as fast as you can 267. Write my PNW report for me 268. Bark at your dog 269. Bark at your mom 270. Bark at people in the grocery store 271. Eat bark (tree bark) 272. Bark at the tree 273. Mark your territory 274. Go for a walk 275. Go for a run 276. Hop up and down 277. Just hop up 278. Hope 279. Send fan mail to bob hope 280. Send hate mail to bob hope (Use same name^) 281. Go to Cali and leave mail for Blink 182 at the local taco bell in San Diego 282. Talk back to the radio [play that funky music white boy…] “what kinda music?” 283. Play funky music 284. Smell EVERYTHING you come across 285. Grease every door hinge in the house, then yell at people for slamming doors 286. Unplug the phone and plug it in and unplug it and plug it in and unplug… 287. Organize your sock drawer 288. Go to a Swing dance and do the hokey-pokey 289. Do the hokey-pokey at 3 am 290. Talk to squirrels (squeaker squeaking squeakity?) 291. Love to hate 292. Hate to love 293. Give 294. Take back 295. Call yourself an Indian giver 296. Learn to play the harmonica (NOO) 297. Write a song 298. Sing it 299. Record it 300. Listen to yourself, realize you suck and throw it out 301. Make a collage of eyes taped to your wall 302. When you have people over ask them if they ever feel like they are being watched 303. Laugh 304. Snicker 305. Eat snickers 306. Eat Cadbury chocolate from Ireland 307. Make a crown 308. Wear it 309. Insist everyone calls you “Your highness” 310. Chew on a lollipop stick 311. Get all mixed up 312. Don’t know what to do 313. Put yourself back together 314. Memorize pi 315. Memorize pie 316. Eat pie 317. Get a stuffed animal that’s a lamb 318. Name it Bunny 319. Build floatation devices for rodents during monsoon season 320. Polish golf balls for a living 321. Defy gravity 322. Obey gravity 323. Yell at gravity 324. Hit some hay 325. Repent for doing that 326. Cross your legs 327. Uncross them 328. Make a Christmas wish list in July 329. Get Sonny Kobe Cook’s autograph 330. Write a poem about eyebrows 331. Make an interptative dance to the comet song 332. Perform it in front of relatives 333. Stare at yourself 334. Stare back 335. Stare in general 336. Speak Yiddish 337. Learn to speak Yiddish 338. Go Amish 339. Recuit friends 340. Sew your own clothes 341. Learn Korean and speak back to nail ladies 342. Tell me what they are saying! 343. Play strip poker with college students 344. Ask people how to pronounce their name 345. Pick the fuzz balls off hotel blankets 346. Collect hotel blankets 347. Collect hotel keys 348. Write calligraphy messages to your friends 349. Play mental Tic-tac-toe 350. Play mental hopscotch 351. Play mental 352. Play 353. Be somebody 354. Be somebody else 355. Eat vitamins (Flintstones rock) 356. Kick pop machines 357. Loose your contact 358. Find it 359. Dress up in suit made of thumb tacks 360. Go to a balloon factory 361. Wear duct tape 362. 3 hole punch your curtains 363. Tie-dye your curtains 364. Tie-dye your hair 365. Dye your hair 366. Get your hairs cut 367. Fluff 368. Smile like a doughnut 369. Find out what people are talking about when they say “it” 370. Ditto with “thing” 371. Meet that one guy with the two eyes and a nose 372. Become a Pepsi addict 373. Figure out what you want 374. Find the meaning of life 375. Take a class on self defense 376. Save the world 377. Save a world 378. Save your world 379. Be positive 380. Be negative 381. Be neutral 382. Fly a brick 383. Fly 384. Swat flies 385. Befriend flies 386. Name flies 387. Be lord of the flies 388. Read Lord of the Flies 389. Bring a Furby to school 390. Talk to it through your locker door 391. Fondle school tables 392. Stick your tongue out 393. Spin pencils on your fingers 394. Read Spin magazines 395. Run a Miss Area-code pageant 396. Look at lights until you sneeze 397. Wear pigtails 398. Pull someone else’s pigtails 399. Make a new answering machine message 400. Over pluck your eyebrows 401. Burp the Happy Birthday song 402. Be naked underneath your clothes 403. Go shopping for fish 404. Be blunt 405. Be sharp 406. Have a food fight 407. Be thankful for clocks 408. Lick your lips 409. Eat broccoli and pretend to be a dinosaur eating trees 410. Ask people if their name is Randolph 411. Get mad when they say its not their name 412. Destroy an old couch 413. Destroy an old crush 414. Crush pop cans with croquet mallets 415. Take pictures of everything 416. Be jealous 417. Be envious 418. Wish 419. Take a wild guess 420. Take a wild goose 421. Eat smoked cheese 422. Watch grass grow 423. Spank a monkey 424. Become a pirate 425. Sail the seas 426. Sail your sandbox 427. Be a spy 428. 3 words… secret…agent…man 429. Go fast 430. Go slow 431. Go lukewarm 432. Even the score 433. Be cold 434. Be hot 435. Start with an A 436. End with a Z 437. Pretend you are blind 438. Throw crutches at people 439. Converse with a flatworm 440. Develop a complex 441. Develop a tick 442. Set off metal detectors 443. Don’t be a devil… yet 444. Groan, act confused when people ask if you are ok 445. Sniffle 446. Crack your knuckles 447. Redecorate your garage 448. Take the word “foot” out of your vocabulary 449. Put it back 450. Preach about seatbelts 451. Ask people if they’ve seen your head 452. Be a Christmas tree 453. Be a Christmas light 454. Burn out 455. Swear at yourself 456. Flicker 457. Go on random driver’s ed trips 458. Roll down grass hills 459. Be a leaf and leave 460. Be land 461. Be water 462. Drip 463. Drop 464. Drippity-drop 465. Make a plastic cow 466. Lick people’s eyeballs 467. Have them lick yours 468. Be a REALLY cautious driver 469. Stall at intersections and be confused when people honk 470. Turn on your emergency flashers every time you turn 471. Chew on pen caps 472. Learn to angle park 473. Protest bus stops 474. Be a star 475. Be a superstar 476. Paint zebra stripes on your computer 477. Go to Hawaii 9 times but never once learn the hula 478. Measure slugs 479. Have people follow you with red carpet everywhere 480. Get a body guard 481. Give him sunglasses 482. Scratch 483. Scratch your dog 484. Go fish 485. Tan leather 486. Be a bar code 487. Wear pajamas with feet 488. Learn to let go 489. Hold on 490. Pin the tail on a donkey 491. Tape it 492. Glue it 493. Hammer it 494. MC hammer it 495. Flutter bye 496. Forgive 497. Forget 498. Remember 499. Repeatingly call someone Al and get mad when they say that’s not their name 500. Try above with “Tim” 501. Be halfway 502. Hang a curtain rod 503. Puzzle 504. Bite every other nail 505. Be blonde 506. Be smart 507. Be a smart blonde 508. Shampoo your hair 509. Shampoo a poodle 510. Wiggle your toes 511. Wiggle your nose 512. Eat lettuce 513. Swim in Tapioca Pudding 514. Enjoy Catsup 515. Take your cat to the restroom with you 516. Eye witness stuff 517. Use the word stuff as much as possible 518. Every time you say the word definitely, spell it out 519. You’re an hour late 520. Loop-di-loo loop-di-lie 521. Release 522. Stand up 523. Sit down 524. Fight fight fight 525. Stop a war 526. Start a war (NOO) 527. Loose your voice 528. Find it 529. Forget to groom 530. Broom 531. Never say never I never will again 532. Try every flavor at baskin’ robins but don’t buy anything 533. Try the fat free kind too 534. When you smile bite your lip 535. Learn to French… braid 536. Get caught red-handed 537. Get caught blue-handed 538. Hide in a cupboard 539. Whisper everything 540. True 541. Make a bunny nose with your mouth 542. Behold the truth 543. Let it fall 544. Make sound effects for stuff 545. Learn insulting words in other languages 546. Use this knowledge 547. Be a no-name 548. Attract lightning 549. Fold 550. Go play cards 551. Get a belt 552. Watch Real World 553. Crust 554. Play leap frog 555. Not yet! 556. Clean your room (*gasp*) 557. Put your Christmas lights up in April 558. Enlighten a trash can 559. Be cute 560. Fall asleep 561. Be unique, just like everyone else 562. Run a black market selling kittens 563. Plug it in 564. Get a degree in chicken plucking checking 565. Give your bird a manicure 566. Blow a bubble 567. Write a poem about someone you love 568. Say “Narf” 569. Blink 570. Say “blink-blink” when you blink 571. Cough 572. Hug a stranger then apologize saying you thought they were your grandma. 573. Wheeze 574. At the bottom of escalators yell “MY SHOELACE!” 575. Pay for expensive things with pennies 576. Dominate a table spoon 577. When you buy something ask to get your picture taken with the clerk 578. Start a convo with yourself 579. Shout “shut up, SHUT UP,” and hit your head on a table 580. Pretend you are god 581. Claim you are late for a date with the white rabbit 582. Poke someone’s head and say mushroom, poke their stomach and say sponge 583. Declare April 6th slap butt day at your school and actively celebrate it 584. Go bowling-for small game 585. Start humming like a bee in waiting rooms and watch people get nervous 586. Dont ever use punctuation its rather annoying isnt it 587. Turn off the lights whenever you enter a room 588. Respond to everything with “well that’s what you think” 589. Loosen the lug nuts on your dad’s new car 590. This is another situation where you tell your dad the dog did it 591. Rearrange political signs 592. Throw a political party 593. Form a political party 594. Scare Steven King 595. Write a book about a previous life 596. Run around in squares 597. Debate politics with a fern 598. Play tidily winks, go for blood 599. Watch a car rust 600. Play bingo with your neighbor’s cat 601. Find other people who have your name 602. Start a cult with them 603. Make up ghost stories 604. Scare yourself with them 605. Pick a random person and worship them 606. Make sure they know you do 607. Write a book on the life of a storage food container 608. Get a life 609. Do something with it 610. Prevent forest fires 611. Solve world hunger 612. Hot chocolate, lots of hot chocolate 613. Become a band nerd 614. Be one of those people that yell “SHH!” (Even though they ADD to the noise) 615. Attack Costco cart pushers 616. Be a non-being 617. Remove the letter ‘h’ from your vocabulary “ows it going?” 618. Learn the way of Tao 619. Fidget 620. Make a deal with the devil, keep your fingers crossed 621. Write a really long essay 622. Wear a suit of marshmallows 623. Duct tape a spoon to the wall and wait for it to fall 624. Really stick it there this time, so it wont fall again 625. Chase other people 626. Chase yourself 627. Run from yourself 628. Sneak up on yourself 629. Scream 630. Pick your nose 631. Pick other people’s noses 632. Don’t ask me! 633. Water your dog see if he grows 634. Listen to a painting 635. Watch a dandelion grow 636. Go back to square one 637. Try plan B 638. Sky dive to church 639. Ask for seconds 640. Find out where all these cylinders graduated from 641. Drink pop till you get wired 642. One word: SLINKY! 643. Another Word: STAIRS! 644. Poke telephone poles 645. Whistle Beethoven’s 8th Symphony 646. Whistle while you work 647. Play pick up sticks 648. Don’t break the ice 649. Get un-bored 650. Change your hand writing style 651. Wear fuzzy bunny slippers 652. Make your feet talk to each other 653. Become a garbage man 654. Surf the internet 655. Surf your sofa 656. Surf a Tsunami 657. But don’t get wet 658. Get a chia pet 659. Name it Earl 660. Call it Fred 661. Vacuum your chia pet 662. Ok now! You can be a devil now 663. Have a heart attack 664. Shake yourself to death 665. Hang out in the bathroom wearing a suit and sell people things 666. Alphabetize your fridge 667. Build a small railroad for your community 668. Make flash cards and teach your dog to read tricks 669. Always push your glasses up at the nose bridge 670. Break some rules 671. Duct tape them back together 672. Wear multicolored hair wigs 673. Mix and match your socks 674. Mix and match your sex 675. Make sock puppets 676. Talk to people with them 677. Bite people with them 678. Form a union 679. Purpose marriage to the next living thing you see 680. Isolate a radical 681. Plant M&M’s 682. Write in a circle 683. Stare into space 684. Hold amateur wrestling matches at your local gym 685. Shake a monkey’s paw 686. Marry someone’s shoe 687. Wear mosquito nets wherever you go 688. Learn a new word 689. Shop at thrift stores 690. Prove to me Wyoming exists 691. Find a place to put all the stupid people 692. Play human clue at the super mall 693. Get to know your times tables 694. Chew your lip 695. Become a quadriplegic 696. Be attracted to quadriplegics 697. Day dream 698. Ignore anyone who talks about math 699. Grow claws 700. Get into 80’s music 701. Collect 80’s memorabilia 702. Use the word “Meh” as much as possible 703. Find your gills 704. Turn yourself in a for a crime you didn’t commit 705. Make shoelaces out of noodles 706. Slap people with them 707. Talk like a pirate 708. Dress like a pirate 709. Get a song stuck in your head 710. Stay awake for 8 days straight 711. Dot people’s i’s for them 712. Paint with your toes 713. Read a book a sentence a day 714. Eat poker chips 715. Go squirrel watching 716. FWD emails everyday about how stupid FWDS are 717. Learn to do tricks with gum 718. Have a hula party in the winter 719. Become best friends with your suitcase 720. Carry a briefcase with you and offer people phony legal advise 721. Learn to square dance 722. Go circle dancing 723. Send postcards to yourself 724. Be legendary 725. Act like you just met your friend for the first time 726. See how many hugs you can get in one day 727. Learn to march in a school band 728. Make new formations for marching band 729. Become a paparazzi for your friends, follow them with a camera 730. Learn random facts and share them with people 731. Move to Egypt 732. Master the art of cherry-stem tongue-tying 733. Go sky-diving dressed as a giant banana 734. Fly an airplane 735. Clean a rabbit 736. Dust bunnies 737. Go skinny-dipping in a pool of jellybeans 738. Go skinny-dipping in a pool of jell-o 739. Be overly protective with your teddy bear 740. Be overly obsessive with your teddy bear 741. Lounge around the house in prom attire 742. Learn to throw your voice 743. Catch it 744. Catch a cold 745. Enjoy the perks of being sick 746. Hire people to wait on you 747. Say everything twice 748. Say everything twice 749. Turn everything into a photo-op 750. Construct tiny makeshift parachutes for hamsters 751. Test them with weights 752. Make it your personal goal to get on as many infomercials as possible 753. Build a tree house in the middle of a field 754. Teach your dog to obey 755. Teach freshmen to obey 756. Bake the world’s biggest doughnut hole 757. Hunt and peck when you type in public places 758. Snore 759. Ignore people who try to stop you 760. Do crossword puzzles 761. Crack your knuckles 762. Learn HTML encoding 763. Hitch hike to Hawaii 764. Count all the stars in the sky 765. Make a wish on every one 766. Cut the lawn with your teeth 767. Run… don’t stop 768. Host your own radio show from your laundry room 769. Make up code names for you and some friends 770. Volunteer at a nursing home and change your identity hourly 771. Make a fort out of couch cushions 772. Call it “Fort Knox-Over-A lot” 773. Construct a shrine for the queen of the spud peoples 774. Compose a Rock Opera 775. Make it in three acts 776. Roast an entire goat on the front lawn 777. Make a Mr. Zucchini Head 778. Write your entire life memoirs 779. Burn them publicly screaming, “They just aren’t enough!” 780. Invent a telephone that talks to the dead 781. Call it the “Dead Ringer” 782. Record a tribute album for starving children on Mars 783. Wear a hat made entirely out of real cheddar cheese 784. Hold a wedding for Godzilla in your back yard 785. Hold a Bah Mitzvah for Mothra in your front yard 786. Be upset when nobody shows up to either 787. Start a Cabaret in your hometown 788. Sail away 789. Go dumpster diving for sushi 790. Become a tic-tac addict 791. Have a burping contest with a weasel 792. Have a watermelon seed spitting contest with a mongoose 793. Pass go and collect 200 dollars 794. Rub plastic knives together 795. Write on bathroom floors 796. Write letters to random people claiming you are their lost cousin, ask for money 797. Ride a bicycle up Mt. Rainer 798. *69 telemarketers and ask them if they want to buy random stuff 799. Get to know your town drunk 800. Create and manage your very own fruit stand 801. Be a loan shark 802. Be a lone shark 803. Wear a different Hawaiian print shirt everyday for a year 804. Show school pride, for a school other than your own 805. Play I-Spy 806. Spy something red 807. Write glow in the dark messages on people’s ceilings (“I'm watching you!) 808. Write one on yours too, to throw people off 809. Be nervous 810. Bite me 811. Go bowling-ally hopping 812. Buy a lazy-boy 813. Be lazy 814. Be amazing 815. Write fortune cookie sayings for a living 816. Become a party animal 817. Become a party mineral 818. Become a go-to kinda man 819. Stay put 820. Leave on a jet plane 821. Start a wheelbarrow-ride business 822. Expand with hayrides 823. Swim to Japan 824. Backstroke your way to class 825. Call toll free numbers and make friends with the tellers 826. Take salt with you wherever you go 827. Braid your dog’s hair 828. Spike your dog’s hair 829. Spike your hair 830. Spike a volleyball 831. Spike some punch 832. Get a grip on life 833. Loosen it a little 834. Just Enjoy 835. Taste the rainbow 836. Smell the hail 837. Hail a cab and walk 838. Work the nightshift 839. Go insane 840. Go outsane 841. Go outside |
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1. Misquote Shakespeare excessively 2. Randomly yell that the voices won't leave you alone. 3. Keep asking what time it is, even with a clock in plain sight. 4. Stand up and say the pledge in the middle of a discussion. 5. Lean over to your neighbor and whisper loudly; "I tied my own shoes today." 6. Lean over to somenoe and whisper things they could care less about. (ie I lowered my cholesterol) 7. Tell people your idol is Subway Jared. Bonus! Eat Subway in class. 8. Walk into class late acting drunk. 9. Walk into calss late *cross out acting* drunk. 10. Open plastic snack food bags slowly . 11. Zip and unzip your backpack excessively. 12. Tap to the beat of songs on your desk. Bonus! Songs no one likes. 13. Shout random complicated words.(ie inconspicuous; antidisestablishmentarianism) Bonus! Spell them out loud. Super bonus! Mess up and start over. 14. Get up and sit in a different desk every few minutes. 15. Make fun of author's names. 16. Make fun of your teacher. 17. Find out who didn't do their homeworkd, and taunt them. 'Oooooooh you didn't do your homework oooooh!' Bonus! They get in trouble. 18. Taunt yourself if you didn't do your homeowrk. 19. Pass a notebook back and forth between you and your best friend thinking of fun things to do in English. Bonus! You get caught. 20. Doing # 19 with your best friend if your best friend is on the other side of the room. 21. Writing fake notes and trying to get them taken away by the teacher. Bonus! She reads them out loud. 22. "Whispering" to your friend across the room. Bonus! Saying things about the class you wouldn't want the teacher to hear. 23. Reading fanfics. 24. Sitting backwards in your seat the entire hour. 25. Talking to your best friend about nothing; and when the teacher asks you if you have something you'd like to share with the class, stand up adn ramble for 20 minutes. 26. Slowly tear up all old papers you have. 27. Mock all the hand gestures your teacher makes at the same time. 28. 5 sec. your teacher says something, repeat it. Bonus! Use a fake British accent. 29. Repeatedly crumple papers, toss at garbage can, and miss. 30. Make random animal noises. Bonus! See how many people you can make laugh. 31. Once in a while, groan loudly and say out loud 'Oh man I'm so glad I took my prozac/viagra this morning.' 32. Burst out laughing when somenoe reads a sad poem. 33. Or burst into a sob fest. 34.If cartoon characters (or movie characters) are referred to, sing the theme song to that show. Bonus! Run around the room acting like them as you do so. 35. When asked to read something out loud, imitate a well-known TV/cartoon character. Bonus! make the class laugh/applaud. 36. Make your voice crack or change your pitch when reading out loud. 37. Hand out fliers for Yanni concerts. 38. Try to drop your pencil at as many times as possible. 39. During work time when its real quiet scream at the top of your lungs. 40. During class drink milk and have it shoot out of your nose all over the kid next to you and ask them if they want a kleenex. 41. Stare intently at teh teacher the whole hour. 42. Sing loudly the Star-Spangled Banner with added sound effects. 43. Walk around the room and ask every person if they will bear your child. 44. Use spitballs to make a smiley face on the board. 45. When you're asked to put something in your own words, use a made-up language. Bonus! Actually make up a language and do all your homework with it. 46. Finish all your teacher's sentances with lines from manga/anime 47. Yawn and see how many other people you can get to yawn with you. 48. When asked to read out loud, say all punctuation. 49. Stare intently at your teacher and every once in a while say "That's FASCINATING." 50. Try to get people in class to do the wave. 51. Speak in a certian number of words. 52. When asked to write on the chalkboard; write backwards. 53. Bring a water pistol. 54. Speak pretending you bit your tongue. 55. Every few seconds say "Can you hear me now?" 56. Come to your English class prepared for another subject. 57. Read test questions out loud. Bonus! You get asked to stop. If this happens; say loudly "Oh like you can really hear what I'm thinking." 58. Sleep. Bonus! Snore. 59. Pretend (or not...) to order a pizza in the middle of class. 60. Pull on the hair of the person in front of you. 61. Blow spit bubbles. 62. In a demonic voice, say "I must find a more suitable host body." 63. Fake a seizure. 64. When your teacher tells you a fact, say loudly "Or is it?" 65. When asked to answer a question, talk as if you were a Doctor Seuss character. (ie. bamboozle! =^o^) 66. Stare into space, even if being asked to answer a question, and don't say anything. 67. Have a smart-ass comeback for everything your teacher ahs to say. 68. Spray perfume on people next to you. Bonus! It's a guy. (If it's a girl, spray cologne) 69. Raise your hand and randomly talk about cheerios. 70. Act as if you completely lost your memory. 71. Every time the teacher says something, reply with "Damn Yankee!" or "Yankee scum!" 72. When the teacher asks for homework, give her a torn-up paper and say your dog ate the homework and it didn't like it. Bonus! Chew the paper in class. 73. Run around with the flag, yelling "The red-coats are attacking!" 74. Comment that the room is getting hot and start taking off your clothes. 75. Try and stick pencils in the ceiling 76. Pretend your pen is a gun and 'shoot' people with sound effects. 77. Have a conversation with yourself. 78. When asked a question, pretend to have no control over the volume of your voice. 79. Bring a small Buddha to calss and meditate. Bonus! Say 'ohm'. 80. Nervously ask people if the room is getting smaller. 81. When someone walks in late, groan and say loudly 'Is it just me, or did the whole classes' IQ just drop?' 82. Say 'nevermore' every once in a while. 83. Bring a lazer pointer and see how many people you can distract with it. 84. Rnadomly unzip peoples' backpacks, peer in, and say 'oooooh I'm telling.' loudly. 85. Ask the teacher to talk really loudly. 86. When asked a question, pretend you're an answering machine and not be home. 87. When asked a question, demand it be given in the form of an answer. Bonus! She does, and you give your answer in the form of a question. 88. Make everything you say rhyme. 89. When the teachers tell you to do the assignment, leap up, point dramatically and yell "You can't make me!" and run out of the room. 90. When your teacher asks you for your homework, ask if they want fries with that. 91. Answer everything your teacher says with "That's what you think." 92. Wonder aloud if the hokey pokey really is what it's all about. 93. Bring a box with holes cut in it and covered with fake blood. Write 'Fluffy' on it. Leave on floor and every so often nudge it closer to someone elses' desk. 94. Walk i nwearing a swimming shorts (or a swimsuit). Bonus! A whole getup with snorkel, flippers, and inner tube 95. Ask people what sex they are. Bonus! Check. 96. Open the window, stick your head out, and yell "I'm king of the world!" 97. Re-enact the history of the world, using classmates as props. 98. Calmly walk up to the projector, throw it up against the wall, and sit down. 99. Yell "It's a bomb!", throw a chair or desk out the window and duck under another desk. Bonus! Throw a real bomb out the window. 100. When asked to answer a question, speak as if they were your dying words. 101. Pretend you're a conductor, and as each person speaks, point at them exaggeratedly, and make enormous hand gestures. And now; some from other people! Cough as loud as possible, at random times, and see how many people who sit by you that you can annoy. Bonus! Try and get people across the room to join you. Speak in a fake British accent, and say "Egads, I've gone British, wot wot!" afterwards. |
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| Wednesday, March 24th, 2004 |
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(Why don't we...) Play somethin' these hoes'll like Drive whips i know they like Twista you told 'em right... I can make you a celebrity overnight... Give you ice like Kobe wife... We sort of like goldie right... Tha way we mold 'em right... I can make you a celebrity overnight... Girl I see you in them apple bottom jeans, chinchilla on yo back I wanna know yo name, Girl don't twist it I can throw yo brain, put you in tha chameleon 04 range, Still sexy when you smoke that flame, jerkin' like a chicken when you throw that thang, She got me hotter than an oven tha way that she talk, twitchin' and freaky so I'm lovin' tha way that she walk, You lookin' good girl you oughta be in pictures... Listen to me I see yo career goin' sky high, Takin' you home to the crib in the Chi and everytime I see your thighs I cry when i drive by, Watch it you should bring a thrill, got tha fellas on some Johnny Gills steady screamin "My, my, my, my" Walk on tha carpet wit tha diamonds that flick in tha dark, kickin' it on tha couch and 106 & Park, I can see yo beauty on a big screen... I can see me freakin' you wit' whip cream... I can see you on stage at the awards, wit' a dress better then Jennifer's and doin' big things, Kick it wit' me I can mold yo life, you lookin' good girl show you right, Dre told me you tha prototype, I can make you a celebrity overnight... (Why don't we...) Play somethin' these hoes'll like Drive whips i know they like Twista you told 'em right... I can make you a celebrity overnight... Give you ice like Kobe wife... We sort of like goldie right... Tha way we mold 'em right... I can make you a celebrity overnight... You want fame you can take that path, candle lights when you take a bath, You got such a sensational ass, Im'a get you Jimmy Chu and Mark Jacobs bags, I could cop her a 2000 thousand and three, make her smile when she see Sprees, I can get you on CD's and DVD's, take you to BB's in BCB-G, I could get you into places, the beginnin' to the people I know'll show you things to get into, I wanna be yo lover and yo confidant and protect you from others, don't let another brotha pimp you, If you want tha style you could wit' ya girl, ya'll take a look at her she got such an astonishin' body, I could see you in some Gucci Karaba Kovali and now but she gon' put a hurt on 'em hard in tha party, And you know you kill 'em in tha club, you cold, you was born to be a pro, how you gon' stick to photos? And I love you 'cuz you freaky wit' tha dope flows, drop it to tha floor let that go when you roll slow, And I love it when I hit it from tha back and you get on top of me and have a brotha goin "Oh, oh, oh" Girl I love how you roll me right, I can make you a celebrity overnight... See... See baby girl... You see how you make a brotha break down? I just gotta ask you... What you need? What you need from me? Oh, you wanna me a star? Oh, you messin' wit' tha right one... I can take you there... I can make sure you got all the finest things... Let me be yo manager... Come here girl I can see you bored, take you to tha queen that I see you for, Take you shoppin' on Sprees in stores, Im'a get you to the MTV awards, We about to do a show tonight, you lookin' good girl show you right, Take you places I know you like, I can make you a celebrity overnight, Come here girl you can hang if you bored, we can do many things plus more, I'm about to have you changin' in stores, I can even get you to the Soul Train Awards, We about to do a show tonight, you lookin' good girl show you right, Take you places I know you like, I can make you a celebrity overnight... |
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| Monday, March 22nd, 2004 |
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Me gustan los aviones, me gustas tu.
Me gusta viajar, me gustas tu. Me gusta la mañana, me gustas tu. Me gusta el viento, me gustas tu. Me gusta soñar, me gustas tu. Me gusta la mar, me gustas tu. Que voy a hacer , Je ne sais pas Que voy a hacer Je ne sais plus Que voy a hacer Je suis perdu Que horas son, mI corazón Me gusta la moto, me gustas tu. Me gusta correr, me gustas tu. Me gusta la lluvia, me gustas tu. Me gusta volver, me gustas tu. Me gusta marihuana, me gustas tu. Me gusta colombiana, me gustas tu. Me gusta la montaña, me gustas tu. Me gusta la noche, me gustas tu. Que voy a hacer , Je ne sais pas Que voy a hacer Je ne sais plus Que voy a hacer Je suis perdu Que horas son, mI corazón Me gusta la cena, me gustas tu. Me gusta la vecina, me gustas tu. Me gusta su cocina, me gustas tu. Me gusta camelar, me gustas tu. Me gusta la guitarra, me gustas tu. Me gusta el regaee, me gustas tu. Que voy a hacer , Je ne sais pas Que voy a hacer Je ne sais plus Que voy a hacer Je suis perdu Que horas son, mI corazón Me gusta la canela, me gustas tu. Me gusta el fuego, me gustas tu. Me gusta menear, me gustas tu. Me gusta la Coruña, me gustas tu. Me gusta Malasaña, me gustas tu. Me gusta la castaña, me gustas tu. Me gusta Guatemala, me gustas tu. Que voy a hacer , Je ne sais pas Que voy a hacer Je ne sais plus Que voy a hacer Je suis perdu Que horas son, mI corazón |
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Beer Study: Yesterday scientists suggested that in consideration of the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer, men should take a look cutting back their beer consumption. Scientists discovered the female hormones while conducting a study in which 100 men were fed a case of beer within a one hour time period. The scientists observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong. NO further testing is planned. |
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| Friday, March 19th, 2004 |
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Somebody said they saw you the person you were kissing wasnt me and i would never ask you i just kept it to myself I don't wanna know if your playin me keep it on the low cuz my heart cant take it anymore and if your creepin please dont let it show oh baby i dont wanna know i think about it when i hold you when lookin in your eyes i cant believe i dont need to know the truth baby keep it to yourself I don't wanna know if your playin me keep it on the low cuz my heart cant take it anymore and if your creepin please dont let it show oh baby i dont wanna know Baby taught you better than this Baby i want to fall asleep But your showin all those things that you used to do to me if your better off that way baby all that i can say go and do your thing and stay away from me I dont really know your where-abouts or how you movin but I know when your in the house and when your cruisin its been proven my love you been abusin' I can't understand how a man got you choosin undecided I came improvided my undivided you came and denied it dont even try it I know when your lyin dont even do that I know why your cryin im not applying any pressure I just want to let you know that I dont want to let you go and I dont want to let you leave you cant say I didnt let you breathe gave you extra cheese put you in the SUV you wanted ice so I made you freeze made you hot like the west indies now its time you invest in me if not than its best you leave I don't wanna know if your playin me keep it on the low cuz my heart cant take it anymore and if your creepin please dont let it show oh baby I dont wanna know |
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| Thursday, March 18th, 2004 |
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I prefer you in the early morning hours, it’s more appropriate, unless special request, I can take you at night as well.
I can almost taste you, my tongue quivering in delight at just the thought of the sensation. You are like most of the others that I have encountered, but I prefer to think that you are particularly made just for me. I look down upon you, my hands grasping your sides. I feel that you are a bit cold; I’ve always encountered this problem, but I’ve memorized the solution. Just five minutes, I promise. It won’t be too long before I can feel you, growing that ever longing feeling in my lower stomach that I need satisfied. I rip you open; a small gasp escapes my mouth as you show me your contents. Along with your comrades, you are solid. I should have known. You slide out of your constrictive box that held you in there so long. I hesitantly place my fingers along you, making sure you are positioned in such a way I see fit, hoping each of your comrades gets equal attention to the heat. Why, why has Jimmy Dean done this to you, my dear breakfast sausage? |
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| Wednesday, March 17th, 2004 |
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It’s been in this time that he’s lived and died. Drunken parodies of himself when his ego’s lied. Feasting off loose women with tight ideas of love. They’ve got thick thighs, brown eyes, and all of the above. Innocence means nothing as the hymen is torn forever more. Purity lost in a night of lust but never thought of like that before. The self proclaimed “God’s Gift To Women” preys alone on the street corner. Looking for more of the lost like an exiled foreigner. He spots one far up the block so he quickly goes and jumps in his ride. New thoughts of fornication raid his mind pushing his last escapade aside. He rolls up along side of her with the Spreewell’s still spinning on his Benz. Planning on breaking her in without spending any ends. He prompt’s her to hop in real quick. Thinking to himself, “I’ll press the clutch while she works the stick.” She’s young and naïve so she doesn’t contest. She’s just another victim of this BEAST more or less. Not even a smile away a woman is playing the same exact game. She hits the pockets before she hits the skins, but it’s still the same. She figures, “You gotta give a little to get a lot back.” Then she glances at her posterior and thinks that’s where the money’s at. Her slim waist is accented by the curves of bust. Her round hips catch many men lost in a gaze of lust. The fire in her eyes is only matched by the kiss of her lips. It catches most by surprise even as their heart skips. This particular one she’s been working on hasn’t got a clue. She takes him in her mouth and her tongue turns like a screw. Or at least that’s what he imagines when he gazes at her mouth. Never realizing that this woman’s head never goes south. She tells him that she wants to go to dinner. Before hand they drive past his 3 friends so they’ll think he’s the winner. As they do she licks her lips and winks at them all. Her pinkie goes to her mouth and her thumb to her ear, “I’ll call.” A trace of that mans broken heart can be found on his slit wrists. The same goes for the young girl added to the Beasts list. She went out a different way but what does it matter? They shouldn’t through bricks at glass hearts because they shatter. Caught between a childhood problem and insecurity of both male and female. They’re both put to the test but neither could prevail. There’s always hope that things will turn around. But love leaves people jaded so they’ve found. The games played aren’t for everyone yet all are in danger. One can get caught up by a mere glance or a feigned kiss from a stranger. Who’s to say that the strings of the heart aren’t being plucked like a harp? The fingers of love can be smooth and gentle or crude and sharp. It is a battlefield in which mercy is a luxury only for the strong. The weak perish in the wake of a dawn that takes too long. Still, it is human nature to destroy itself and all others. Turning little girls into mothers and older sisters in big brothers. |
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| Sunday, March 14th, 2004 |
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The words have been drained from this pencil Sweet words that I want to give you And I cant sleep, I need to tell you... goodnight When we’re together I fell perfect When I’m pulled away from you I fall apart All that you say is sacred to me Your eyes are so blue, I can’t look away as we lay in the stillness Oh you don’t have to ask me, you know you’re all that I live for You know I’d die just to hold you, stay with you Somehow I’ll show you that you are my night sky I’ve always been right behind you Now I’ll always be right beside you So many nights I’ve cried myself to sleep Now that you love me I love myself I never thought I would say that I never thought there’d be you |
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Please, please forgive me, But I won't be home again. Maybe someday you'll look up, And, barely conscious, you'll say to no one: "Isn't something missing?" You won't cry for my absence, I know - You forgot me long ago. Am I that unimportant...? Am I so insignificant...? Isn't something missing? Isn't someone missing me? Even though I'd be sacrificed, You won't try for me, not now. Though I'd die to know you love me, I'm all alone. Isn't someone missing me? Please, please forgive me, But I won't be home again. I know what you do to yourself, I breathe deep and cry out: "Isn't something missing? Isn't someone missing me?" And if I bleed, I'll bleed, Knowing you don't care. And if I sleep just to dream of you And wake without you there, Isn't something missing? Isn't something... Even though I'm the sacrifice, You won't try for me, not now. Though I'd die to know you love me, I'm all alone. Isn't something missing? Isn't someone missing me? |
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I'd give anything to give me to you Can you forget the world that you thought you knew If you want me, Come and find me Nothing's stopping you so please release me I'll believe All your lies Just pretend you love me Make believe Close your eyes I'll be anything for you Have you left to make me feel anymore There's only you and everyday I need more If you want me Come and find me I'll do anything you say just tell me I'll believe All your lies Just pretend you love me Make believe Close your eyes I'll be anything for you I'll believe All your lies Just pretend you love me Make believe Close your eyes I'll be anything for you Anything for you Overcome your urge inside Will ever never die I'll be, everything you need I'll believe All your lies Just pretend you love me Make believe Close your eyes I'll be anything for you |
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| Saturday, March 13th, 2004 |
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(10:32:56) MegLRam: Hey you (10:33:06) GodsmackOD: Hello. (10:33:11) MegLRam: How was your trip? (10:33:37) GodsmackOD: Good. (10:34:12) MegLRam: I just wanted to see how you were doing.. I know we're still not on good terms... but I'm just having a bad time lately and I want to try to make peace with everyone (10:34:21) MegLRam: As ludicrous as that sounds (10:34:37) GodsmackOD: You assume we're not on good terms. (10:34:58) MegLRam: Well, when you were getting ready to leave we weren't (10:35:17) GodsmackOD: That was a while. (10:36:14) MegLRam: Yeah, well, I still don't wanna assume everything is peachy if you're still pissed at me deep down (10:36:42) GodsmackOD: Why not have a positive outlook? (10:36:50) MegLRam: Cuz I'm sick of life (10:37:06) MegLRam: I'm sick of the random obstacles and pain (10:37:27) GodsmackOD: That's life. (10:37:48) GodsmackOD: And no, I'm not mad at you. I have a new outlook on life. (10:38:05) MegLRam: and what's that (10:38:26) GodsmackOD: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. If you only love those who love you back, there's no reward in htat. (10:38:52) MegLRam: My new outlook is that people hurt you no matter how hard they try not to, and I'm sick of that (10:39:08) MegLRam: Do you know how stupid I'm thinking right now? I'm so sick of everything I don't wanna be here (10:39:34) GodsmackOD: Who hurts you? (10:39:44) MegLRam: Everybody (10:39:55) MegLRam: My mom, my grandmother, Jeff, friends, people (10:40:15) GodsmackOD: Have I ever hurt you? (10:40:51) MegLRam: We both have hurt each other in the past (10:41:31) GodsmackOD: .....I don't ever remembering hurting you. (10:41:45) MegLRam: So yet again I'm the one who does all the hurting? (10:41:52) GodsmackOD: I never said it was all you. (10:41:57) MegLRam: What purpous do I serve anymore? (10:42:31) GodsmackOD: Can I ask you a question? Without you getting pissed off and leaving? (10:42:44) MegLRam: I can't promise that (10:42:59) MegLRam: I'm on the edge and on a crying binge (10:43:00) GodsmackOD: Alright. Do you mind if I ask? Because if you'd rather not hear it, I won't say it. (10:43:10) MegLRam: Ask away (10:43:38) GodsmackOD: Why is it that whenever things aren't going your way, you come to me to try to recind all your problems with me, yet only disappear again? (10:44:15) MegLRam: Well I'm fucking sorry (10:44:21) MegLRam logged out. |
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| Friday, March 12th, 2004 |
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Girlfriend's Handbook Disclaimer: These characteristics are not displayed by all girlfriends. Just the annoying ones. 1. The girlfriend should not be required to pay for anything. That is the responsibility of the boyfriend, and the girlfriend should reconsider any man who cannot “dish out the dough” ***Of course, men have a little pot of gold at the end of their rainbow that can be reached by rubbing their lucky charms, why would you think otherwise? No they don’t have car insurance, tuition, or books to pay for, they have no problem paying for you to eat dinner and go to the movies every week. You wouldn’t want to have to pay for every single movie ticket, dinner, dance ticket, cab fare, and Christina Aguilera CD that he wants would you? Of course not. Be a little self- supportive and split the bill, or *gasp* offer to pay in full occasionally. 2. The girlfriend should pick out clothes and hairstyles for her man based on her desires. ***Do you know what this implies? This implies that A) You never grow out of that phase where you liked to dress up Ken and Barbie (or undress, if you were into that sort of thing) and B) That you aren’t satisfied with his appearance. If you insist on dragging your new punk squeeze into Abercrombie & Finch, and cutting off his purple Mohawk, maybe you should consider returning the favor and allowing him to don you in Playmate outfits, complete with the bunny ears, and parade through the streets. Think about that. 3. The girlfriend should never be in the presence of her man if she is sick, devoid of makeup, or having a “fat day”. *** Generally, if you’re dating someone it’s because you like something about each other called PERSONALITY. Say it with me class, PERSONALITY. I’m not recommending you visit you honey bunch when you’re projective vomiting, or haven’t showered recently, but seeing you in your natural glory, without makeup and push up bras will not have any negative effect on him. You never know, the natural look may be a turn on. 4. The girlfriend needs to make herself the center of her man’s universe. *** There is an epidemic among the male population. Its symptoms include: -An inability to hang out with friends -A constant need to explain his absence for one night. -Being surrounded by only the friends of his girlfriend. -Feeling compelled to shower his woman with gifts (See section 1) -Being referred to as whipped. Remedy? Let go of the leash! Let him hang out with his friends, and don’t force yours upon him. There’s nothing wrong with his friends, even if they do have an Olsen Twin fetish. 5. The girlfriend needs to establish her “territory” and fend off any woman who comes within sight of her man. *** Let’s take the green down a notch huh? Envy really isn’t your color. Talking to a girl from Physics and sleeping with the town bicycle are two totally different things. On the other hand, if a girl is openly making a move, let the bitch have it, using claws, hair pulling, biting, and a few old fashioned right hooks. 6. The girlfriend should adopt pet names like “Sweetie pie”, “Lovemuffen”, “Honey Cakes” or “Raging Stallion” (actually, he might like the last one) And she should expect her boyfriend to do the same. ***The only thing that makes me feel like vomiting more than watching Martha Stewart is listening to couples throw stupid pet names back and forth. Example: Bianca: Oh Lovemuffen, I can’t wait to see the widdle teddy bear you bought me. Humphrey: Of course pumpkin, it’s pink, like the ribbon in your hair. Bianca: Oh, my little love monkey, I could just bonk you on your widdle nose…. Humphrey: Aww, my cute little lamb chop…. Bleh! Drop the ridiculous pet names, and help improve the English language…. 7. The girlfriend should maintain her control over her boyfriend through the use of sex (or the lack thereof). *** Ermmm….actually I’m going to leave this one alone. 8. The girlfriend is responsible for picking the movie at all times. *** Despite what your boyfriend says to keep you happy, he does not want to sit through Runaway Bride for the twenty-eighth time (How can you sit through that even once???) If you at least occasionally watch something he chooses, you won’t be engaging in torture any more, and you may even discover *gasp* a movie you like that doesn’t feature Julia Roberts. 9. If it looks as if the girlfriend may not get her way, or she’s backed into a corner, turn on the water works, full power. *** Example: Fiona: Let’s go out tonight. Wallace: Sorry, I have an English paper to write. Fiona: But I wanted to go see Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen!!!!! Wallace: We can go tomorrow; this paper is worth 70 % of my grade Fiona: ……..*lip trembling*…… Wallace: No…please don’t……. Fiona: *screaming/crying hysterically* WAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wallace: Shit! No, really I do, it’s just….. Fiona: WAHHHH WAHHH WAHHHH WAHHH You like my sister more than me……WAAAAAA! Wallace: Argh! No I don’t! I mean she’s hot but…. Fiona: *crying at ear-splitting decibel now* WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!! Wallace: Alright, alright, let’s see the movie. There’s always summer school…….Just please stop crying……. Fiona: *suddenly happy* Okay, let’s get a sundae too! Don’t use crying as a means of getting your way. That makes you no better than the screaming toddler in Wal-Mart begging for a cookie. 10. The girlfriend should feel encouraged to use words like “commitment” “marriage” “love” “post-marital” and “the future” because guys like that sort of thing. ***Personally, the thought of saying any of that makes me want to curl into the fetal position and shake, but I hear this complaint frequently from guys. The first through tenth dates or so should have absolutely no mention of the future; you don’t know how things will turn out yet. As for the ominous “L” word, that is overused. Save that until you mean it. And by mean it, I mean with 100% belief that you cannot feel the same way about your man with anybody else, not just because you get butterflies looking at his god-like abs and bronze skin. That’s a great way to get the deer in the headlights look from your guy. I hope that was helpful to someone, whether you’re in a relationship, or still in the batting cages. |
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| Thursday, March 11th, 2004 |
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I would like to think of myself as a very open and tolerant person, but since I’m a human being, I think we all know that this is not completely true. I, just like all of you, including my fourth grade teacher who really shouldn't’t blame me for sticking the glue in Tyler’s hair, can cross over the fine line from “annoyed” to “I will be forced to stick my pencil up your nose if you do that again”. Very little can do this, but, I would have to say that purposefully annoying people, teachers (don’t hurt me, I’ll explain later!!), and computers can drive me to within an inch of what sanity I have. Annoying people. Like some killer plague, they are everywhere. I know everybody has their annoying moments, but some people DO NOT know when to stop, or worse, they do, they just get a kick out of watching us normal people pull out some kind of weapon and chase them around. No worries, though, I have found out why they do this: it’s a diabolical scheme of theirs to take over the world. Oh yeah, you laugh now, but I have one word for you: NAQUAPA. Okay, technically, it’s seven words: National Association of Qualified Underground Annoying People Anonymous, and they are planning on world domination, one person at a time. They have annoying people smuggled to all kinds of positions, primarily ALL AROUND ME, and also big, world changing places, like the White House and Starbucks Headquarters… You know those kinda people I’m talking about, like the one boy who constantly refers to you as “Fuzz ball” until the day you completely snap and wind up in the principal’s office trying to explain just how that paperclip ended up in his nose. And, of course, the one babysitting charge who waits patiently until after you finish your Geometry homework to “oops!” accidentally spill her grape juice all over it. And the one kid who comes up to you, says, “Okay, so these two muffins are sitting in an oven, and one muffin says to the other, ‘We are about to be baked to death, have any last words?’ and the second muffin goes, ‘OH MY GOD! A TALKING MUFFIN!!’” He pauses, letting the punch line sink in, then laughs in a manner not unlike rabid hyena on steroids and runs away. Yeah, you know these people I’m talking about. Annoying people is about a seven out of ten on my “Peeves O-Meter”, but what ranks a two? Definitely teachers. Now wait, before you flunk me, let me defend my position. Teachers are wonderful, thoughtful people who live on a meager salary while enduring an eight plus hour work day that is FILLED WITH OBNOXIOUS, UNGRATEFUL CHILDREN WHO THINK THEY KNOW EVERYTHING and they manage to retire BEFORE they wind up driving their cars off the nearest cliff. So I can perfectly understand why you annoy me, because I annoy you. The only problem with teachers is what happens when you forget something. It happens like this: “Where’s your homework?” “I forgot it.” Then, they make the trademark “tsk tsk” throat noise, which was taught to them at teacher school, and say, “Well, why did you do that?” Now is the perfect time to say something like, “Because I forgot to remember that I forgot,” but since the teacher is staring at you with that Evil Glare O’ Death, which was another thing taught to them in teacher school, you say the most intelligent thing you can when your brain is slowly being melted into a goop: “I just did.” Then, here we go again, the teacher lurches into the “Responsibility Speech”: “I would have expected more from a (insert age here) year old, now that you are going into (insert next grade here) I do think you should remember more things, because I depend on you as a (insert age here) year old! Almost an adult!” Then, they round it up with the good ol’ “What If” question: “What if you just ‘forgot’ to put your seatbelt on and CRASH!! blah yak yak blah” or “What if you were an average working adult and you just ‘forgot’ your home loan blah yadda chat….” Or, my favorite, “What if I am the student and you are the teacher?” Look, lady, after this lecture, I don’t even want to IMAGINE being a teacher, for fear I’ll get too into my fantasy and run out of the class, trying to kill myself with the sharpest thing I could find, like a staple dispenser. God bless you, teachers, there should be a National Try Not To Act Annoying To Your Teacher week (and that would include all you NAQUAPA members). So, teachers rank a two out of ten on my “Peeve O-Meter”. The last one is definitely… computers. There are some people (my friend) who came out of the womb with natural instincts on how to operate a computer, and I am not one of them. If you want to buy me a keyboard for my birthday, I suggest that it just has four buttons: “Esc”, “Ctrl”, “Alt” and “Delete”. They are the only keys I use anyway. Say, I nonchalantly walk into the computer room while my friend is doing a homework project and I’ll say something like, “Woah! You can actually write words on the screen?!?” And he’ll say, in a completely normal voice because he knows that when it comes to computers, I have the average intelligence of sandpaper, “Yes, it’s called ‘Word Pad’.” I am so blown back by this that, say, when my friend starts playing a game (“Mega Mutilation Annihilation Killer Zombies From Mars VIII, now, with Ultra-Graphics”) I’m so shocked that I pass out. I can’t help the fact that certain things annoy me. I think a “Pet Peeve” is something that will always bother you until the end of time and will make you scream at the top of your lungs that you will go insane and take everybody with you. And in this world, annoying people, teachers, and computers are the main things that can send me plummeting off the edge and into court, if you get my drift. Want to know something scary? I have a countless number of pet peeves, and I haven’t even started driving yet. I suggest all you people with “NAQUAPA” bumper stickers stay off the road. Thank you. |
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| Tuesday, March 9th, 2004 |
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How many times have I called you While you were working just to say Left messages on your answering machine About three or four times a day There aren't many more ways in words that I can say So I'll just say numerically from my heart to you - 143 So many times I've brought roses Just to see that smile on your face I can't remember how many e-mails I sent you Just to tell you about my day There aren't many more ways in words that I can say So I'll just say numerically from my soul to you - 143 Girl you know you are so special to me And you deserve to be treated exclusively I treat you like Valentines Day 365 a year Make sure that everything you need will always be right here I just refuse to be your typical ordinary run of the mill Garden variety lover I'll make sure everyday you live will be like Christmas Eve I wanna make you feel fine Just like a summer breeze Cause I refuse to be predictable average run of the mill Garden variety love See sometimes words may get in the way Of things that you really really meant to say So I wanna out this time to make sure that how I really feel Gets through to you Cause listen There aren't many more ways and words that I can say So I choose to tell you how I feel in a numerical way' Got so tired of trying to find the most complicated way To say it to you so I simplified and broke it down To 143 - and that means I love you |
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| Monday, March 8th, 2004 |
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 Graveyard not far from me.
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Blurty for laughter of the leaves.
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crazy.
dorky.
creative.
moody.
cynical.
hopeful.