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the only broken hearted loser you'll ever need

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gobble... [25 Nov 2004|07:32pm]
[ mood | uncomfortable ]
[ music | silence ]

Im ready for the food...

my grandmas house is a bore...


Ten of your favorite songs (no particular order):

10. Jack Off Jill: Girlscout
09. Crossfade: Cold
08. Three Days Grace: IHEAY
07. AUdrey Hepburn: Moon River
06. MSI: Girls from 7-11
05. Bookbag Grafitti: Clever Whore
04. Vivian Green: Final Hour
03. Lillix: Dirty Sunshine
02. Nirvana: Come As You Are
01. LIG: Hold Me

Nine all-time favorite movies (no particular order also):

09. Breakfast at Tiffanys
08. Say It With Song
07. Nightmare Before Christmas
06. Sixteen Candles
05. White Oleander
04. My Fair Lady
03. Funny Face
02. Some Like It Hot
01. Problem Child

Eight bands you've seen live:

08. SOTY
08. Linkin Park
07. Hoobastank
06. Grateful Dead
05. Unisex Monster
04. BookBag Grafitti
03. LIG
02. Gravesome
01. Break Off


Six favorite TV shows

06. The swan
05. Drawn Together
04. South Park
03. The Real World
02. Failry Odd Parents
01. The Biggest loser

Five favorite places to chill:

05. My bed
04. On Someone
03. party
02. In water
01. in the rain

Four things you absolutely can't live without:

04. friends
03 Family
02. Drugs
01. boys and girls

Three favorite beverages:

03. Diet Coke
02. rasberry Smirnoff
01. Orange Juice

Two of your favorite books:

02. Jacob Has she Loved
01. breakfast at tiffany novel

One thing you never leave the house without:

01. makeup


OOOh yes b-day on saturday i am going to party until i drop or throw up

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is there anymore room for me in those jeans? [20 Nov 2004|09:26pm]
[ mood | drunk ]
[ music | Ginuwine ]

beer.. beer glorious beer..


fuck me..

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Well hello again... [11 Nov 2004|01:56pm]
[ mood | high ]
[ music | welcome to my life- simple plan ]

hmm its been forever. i havent had internet for a while im actully using a friend computer right now. my mom thinks im a much "heathier" person without the internet. So lucky for me. hmm onto whats been hapening. ive gotten alot better. no cutting about 4 months. still have depression but im trying to find better meds for that. no boyfriend. i have a boy but not a boyfriend and thats the way i like it. i dont really want a boyfriend. My lifes alot better in a mental with the acception of ive tooken my cutting addiction and replaced it with a lovely drug and alcohol addition. So ive defianlty gotten alot dumber since last time. i keep having to retype shit cuz i cant spell very well. hahah im pathetic. thats just it. thats your anti drug. dont do drugs cuz youll be like me. haha. youll be a loser who has a brain funtion of zero. anyways the drugs have helped with the weight problem alot and ive also been eating good and excersing. yahoo. work those buns. yup.. ive lost alot actully. im not fully happy with my weight. but it took a while to put it on its gunna take a while to take it off. or someone once told me... ive died my hair several colorful colors since last time... some pink and some blonde.. and some well thats all i remember. yup.. my lifes pretty crazy.. im pretty crazy... in person anyways. i have a problem keeping quiet but i think many people have that problem. but im not obnoxious so thats a good thing. hmm i thinks thats all... i cant really think of much right now... oh well






ABOUT YOU
Nicknames: smiley..button..
Age: 14
Height: 5'5
Natural hair colour: brown
Current hair colour: dark brown
Eye colour: blueish green
Glasses or contacts?: nope
Braces?: use to i still have a lovly retanor tho
Do you live in an apartment or a house?: house
How many siblings do you have?: 2
Are your parents divorced?: no
What kinds of pets (if any) do you have?: 2 dogs, 1 cat
Attention crazed ADHD: yes... no..
How many pairs of shoes do you have?: not many shoes arent very important to me
What do your pajamas look like?: what pajamas
What piercings do you want to get?: tounge.. eyebrow.. nipples
What religion are you?: none
-- FAVORITES --
Colors: black pink and lime green
Stuffed animal: carebears
Video game: vice city san andreas
Game on a cell phone: bowling
Board game: i do not know..
Flower: daisy
Scents: mmm mens colonge mmm
Animal: cat
Comic book: i dont really like them..
Cereal: total... laugh but it has 100%...100 of daily vitamens
Articles of clothing: my rock t-shirt... ya i like them
TV show characters: toots from drawn together
TV Shows: anything on comedy central
Piercing: ears.. 4 times each
Place to shop: for stuff... spencer... for clothes... i have no clue
Place to be in: canada... i love it there
Person to be with: alot of people
-=- DO YOU -=-
Play any instruments?: no
What kind?: ,
Watch TV more than 60 hours a week?: no
Like to sing?: yeah
Have a job?: no
Have a cell phone?: no
Like to play sports?: just running
Have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: kinda
Have a crush on someone?: yes
Live somewhere NOT in the united states?: canada
Have more than 5 TVs in your house?: negative
Have any special talents/skills?: haha none i can say
Excercise daily?: yup
Like school?: nope
~*~ Do you think you are ~*~
Open-minded?: yes
Yourself?: moslty
Independent?: yes
Honest?: yes
Sluttly?: well i act like one but not really
Flirtacious?: yes
Spontaneous?: yes
Adventureous?: yes
Hyper?: sometimes
Fair?: not all the time
Kind?: not all the time
Good Looking?: ew... no
Funny?: yup
Friendly?: yes
Annoying?: yes
Strong?: yes
Smart?: thats a big no
Slow?:
Wild?: yes
Sweet?: sure
Good?: good at what
Sarcastic?: yes
Lazy?: no
Evil?: no
Rebellious?: yes
=+= CAN YOU =+=
Sing the alphabet backwards?: uh i dont think so
Stand on your tip toes without wearing shoes?: yeah
Speak any other languages?: hmm no
Go a day without food?: yup
Stay up for more than 24 hours?: if i dont have sleeping meds i can stay up for days.. so nice being a insomniac
Read music, not just tabs?: uh sure
Roll your tongue?: yeah
Eat a whole pizza?: no
*** HAVE YOU EVER ***
Snuck out of the house?: yes
Cried to get out of trouble?: no
Gotten lost in your city?: yes
Seen a shooting star?: yes
Been to any other countries besides the united states?: yup
Had a serious surgery?: yes
Stolen something important to someone else?: yes
Solved a rubiks cube?: oh god no
Gone out in public in your pajamas?: yes
Cried over a girl?: yes
Cried over a boy?: yes
Kissed a random stranger?: when i was drunk yes..
Hugged a random stranger?: yes
Been in a fist fight?: too many times...
Been arrested?: nope.
Laughed and had milk come out of your nose?: no
Pushed all the buttons on an elevator?: no
Swore at your parents?: yeah
Been to warped tour? no
Kicked a guy where it hurts?: yup
Been close to love?: yes
Been to a casino?: yes
Ran over an animal and killed it?: aww no
Broken a bone?: no
Gotten stitches?: yes
Had a waterballoon fight in winter?: no
Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour?: no
Made homemade muffins?: yes
Bitten someone?: i was a bitter when i was little
Been to disneyland/disneyworld?: yup
More than 5 times?: um i think so
Been to Sea World?: uh i cant remember
Been to Six Flags?: yup
Been to a waterpark?: um yes
Been to the beach?: yes
Burped in someones face?: no
Gotten the chicken pox?: yeah
Went paintballing?: yes
~!~ WHENS THE LAST TIME YOU ~!~
Brushed your teeth: this morning
Went to the bathroom: this morning
Saw a movie in theaters: last friday.. i saw the incredibles... i luv it
Read a book: its been a while
Had a snow day: a while
Had a party: ive acutlly never had a party... i usally just go to other peoples... hmm i should do that someday
Had a slumber party: i cant even remeber
Made fun of someone: jokingly about a hour ago
Tripped in front of someone: i do that alot
Went to the grocery store: its been a while
Got sick: last week
Curse: hah two seconds ago
~*~ Quick Name.....~*~
Someone who makes you laugh: josh
Someone that makes you cry: kaleb
Someone that makes you feel loved?: my family
Someone who pisses you off: dylan... and andy... and my sister.. and i could go on and on..
Someone who is annoying: alot of people
Something that makes you happy: hugs
Someone who you want to kill: kaleb jst cuz he put me threw hell
Someone who you think deserves the best: kids who starve... and people who think there not ever good enough.. maybe thats not what you meant but its what i said
Sassyest person you know: josh
Sweetest person you know: hmm..emily
Most spontaneous person you know: me
Someone you haven't seen in a long time and miss: felicia
Hottest person you know: ahh chris.. mm
Someone who has hurt you recently: dylan
*()* PICK ONE *()*
Water or Soda: water
Fruit or veggies: fruit
Black or white: black
Lights on or lights off: off
Shower or bath: shower
TV or movie: movies
Book or Magazine: magazine
Car or truck: truck
Crunchy or Smooth Peanut Butter: crunhy
Body spray or lotion: lotion
Cash or check: cash
Pillows or blankets: blanket
South Park or Family Guy: south park
Chinese food or mexican food: mexican
Rock or rap: rock
Rollerblade or Skateboard: neither
Chocolate or vanilla: neither
Day or Night: night
French toast or French fries: neither
Strawberries or blueberries: Strawberries
Tattoos or Piercings: both
Ocean or swimming pool: bth
Hugs or kisses: both
Cookies or muffins: muffins
Pink or purple: pink
Cartoons or Sitcoms: both
Cat or dog: cat
Peanut Butter or Jelly: penut butter
--- LOVE AND ALL THAT CRAP ----
Do you believe there is someone for everyone?: yes
What was your first kiss like?: it was in kindergarden what do you want me to say oh it was sooo hott i can barely remeber it .. but my first real kiss was very nice and he was a very good kisser
How old were you when you got your first kiss?: first real one 10
Do you think love is a load of shit?: sometimes yes but other times its the best thing
What¡¦s the most sexual thing you¡¦ve done with the opposite
sex?: um had sex..
*_* WORD ASSOCIATION *_*
Hat: scarf?
Hard: dick.. haha
Free: drugs
Good: stuff
Red: cake
Deep: throat... hahha
Heart: ache
Cord: less
Cheese: balls
Rain: storm
Work: play
Pedal: to the metal
Head: cheese
Bed: sleep
Fluff: cats
Hardcore: fred
Race: no race?
Knife: stab
Jump: the fence
I am: sarah
Want: money
need: drugs
crave: alcohol
love: you
Hate: me
did: you just do that
Feel: there
miss: everyone
~-$-~ R@nd0m S+uFf ~-$-~
What time is it now?: 2:35
Whatcha doin?: talking on the phone
What kind of mood are you in?: out of it
What day is it?: thursday
Whens the last time you called someone?: um right now
Are you bored?: no
How much money do you have right now?: 15
Are you hungry?: no
What shampoo do you use?: uh... at least i use it
What are you going to do when youre done with this?: um i have no clue
If you could have any magical power what would it be?: be invisiable
Have you ever had a picnic?: yup
What decorates the walls in your bedroom?: old movies posters... poems of mine... music lyrics... pot posters... just lots of stuff.
Do you like sarcasm?: not all the time
Did you ever have a skip-its when you were young?: what
What about sock em boppers?: what
Are you wearing any socks right now?: yup
Do you have a website? um no
Do you like throwing popcorn or gummy bears at random
people during movies?: no
Hottest Celeb?: i dont waste time on obsessing on celebs
What's the last thing you bought?: a shirt.. i think
^*% -- WOULD YOU EVER??? -- %*^
Sky dive?: yes
Bungee Jump?: yes
Race a car?: yes
Run away?: yes
Curse at a teacher?: yes
Go deep sea fishing?: it would be very fun but i would
Not take a shower for a week?: ew no i love taking showers i could do that
Swim in Jell-O?: no
Ask someone out on a date: i have
Lie to someone to make them think better of you?: no thats dumb
Go scuba diving?: yes
Write a book?: yes
Become a rockstar?: yes
Mud wrestle?: yes
Go skinny dipping?: yes
Get a private area pierced?: it would hurt to much
~*~What do you think of~*~
War: wrong
Feminism: ok
Satanism: whatever you like
Racism: bad
Christian: bore
Love: yourself
Superficiality: boo, you whores
MTV: yay
Sushi: gross
Cheese: is good
Rock music: good isha
Showers: i love them
***LASTLY....***
What time is it?: 2:43
What are you drinking?: nothing
Are you glad this survey is over?: yes

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OH CANADA [11 Aug 2004|01:08pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]
[ music | Blink 182 ]

Went to Canada....

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crimson droplets.. fuck it [26 Apr 2004|06:31pm]
[ mood | scared ]
[ music | Three Days Grace- Home ]

I'll be coming home
just to be alone
cause I know you're not there
and I know you don't care
I can barley wait to leave this place
No matter how hard I try
you're never satisfied
this is not a home
i think im better off alone
you always disappear
even when your here
This is not my home
i think im better off alone
by the time you come home
im already stoned
you turn off the TV
and you scream at me
I can hardly wait
till you get off my case
No matter how hard I try
never satisfied
this is not a home
i think im better off alone
you always disappear
even when your here
this is not a home
I think im better off alone

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[25 Apr 2004|08:26pm]
[ mood | numb ]
[ music | Three Days Grace- I Hate Everything About You ]

x. Father thinks I am: a angel
x. Mother thinks I am: one fucked up kid
x. My boyfriend/girlfriend thinks I am: a whore
x. Three things you are often complimented for: boobs, personality, ... smile?
x. You get embarrassed when: I don’t really get embarrassed
x. Makes you happy: music
x. Upsets you: lots of shit
Yes or No...
x. You keep a diary: yip
x. You like to cook: Sure
x. You have a secret you have not shared with anyone: yes
x. You set your watch a few minutes ahead: no
x. You bite your fingernails: no
x. You believe in love: not sure
Who is...?
The weirdest person you know: Christine
The Loudest Person you Know: jessika
Your close friends: I have a lot
The Person that Knows the Most about you: kaleb
What is...?
Your most overused phrase on IM: pickle
The last image/thought you go to sleep with: my scars
Your best feature: I don’t have any
Inside joke: There are many and I can't think of one

Do You...?
Take a shower everyday: yes
Have a(any) crush(es): um sure
Think you know you've been in love: I don’t know..
With who: kaleb
Want to get married: no
Have any tattoos?: yes
Piercings?: yes
Get motion sickness: no
Think you're a health freak: kind of
Get along with your parents: sometimes
Like thunderstorms: love em
WHEN YOU SEE THIS NAME YOU THINK Of
Ryan: creepy, but also good for the alcohol partays
Rob: bob
Drew: that one kid that’s always selling weed
Stephanie: hmm she lives in citrus heights
Aaron: Carter....some people are morons
Amy: a bitchPaul: a jackass
Eve: is very sexy
John: faggots
Laura: soccer freaks
Alex: Mexican
Justin: likes fried eggs and ham
Rick: can drink a shit load without passing out
Jacob: and the Technicolor Dream Coat.
SCREEN NAMES: evil beezey girl .. And more?
SIGN: sagittarius
NATURAL HAIR COLOR: brown blonde red..
CURRENT HAIR COLOR: brown/ blonde bangs
EYE COLOR: green
BIRTHPLACE: Roseville

( FAVORITES )
NUMBER: 33
COLOR: black and pink
DAY: I hate days
MONTH: December
SONG: moon river
FOOD: I like water... does that count
SEASON: winter
SPORT: running
DRINK: water
VEGGIE: broccoli

( PREFERENCES )
CUDDLE OR MAKE OUT? Make out
CHOCOLATE MILK, OR HOT CHOCOLATE? Hot chocolate
MILK, DARK, OR WHITE CHOCOLATE? Milk
VANILLA OR CHOCOLATE? Chocolate

( IN THE LAST 24 HOURS, HAVE YOU.... )
CRIED? Yes
HELPED SOMEONE? yes
BOUGHT SOMETHING? yes
GOTTEN SICK? No
GONE TO THE MOVIES? no
GONE OUT FOR DINNER? Yes
SAID "I LOVE YOU"? No
WRITTEN A REAL LETTER? Yes
TALKED TO AN EX? Yes
WRITTEN IN A JOURNAL? yesTALKED TO SOMEONE YOU CRUSH ON? yes
HAD A SERIOUS TALK? Yes
MISSED SOMEONE? yes
HUGGED SOMEONE? yes
FOUGHT WITH YOUR PARENTS? Yes
FOUGHT WITH A FRIEND? No

Would You Ever..
1. Eat a bug? Yes
2. Bungee jump? Yes
3. Hang glide? Yes
4. Kill someone? Depends on the person
7. Have sex with someone of the same sex? I already have
8. Parachute from a plane? Yes
9. Walk on hot coals? Yes
10. Go out with someone for their looks? No.. I need more then just looks
11. For their reputation? No
12. Be a vegetarian? Sure why not
13. Wear plaid with stripes? Yes
14. IM a stranger: yes
15. Sing karaoke? yes
17. Shoplift? Yes
18. Run a red light? yes
19. Star in a porn video? YEAH
20. Dye your hair blue? Yeah
21. Be on Survivor? yeah
22. Wear makeup in public? Uh who doesn’t
23. NOT wear makeup in public? Yes
24. Cheat on a test? Yes
25. Make someone cry? Not purposely
26. Call your math teacher a motherfucker? Yes I’ve done it
27. Kick a baby? Hell no
28. Date someone more than ten years older than you? Yes
29. Cuss out a priest? Yes
30. Take a job as a janitor? Sure why not
31. Wear a tho-tho-tho-tho-thong? I always do
32. Stay up all through the night? Uh I do it a lot acutlly ... like woah

x: name = Sarah Jeanne Scott
:x: piercings = 11.. I think
:x: tattoos = 0
:x: height = 5'6 or 5'7 depends on the weather
:x: shoe size = 8:x: hair color = brown, blonde bangs
:x: length = little past the shoulders
:x: siblings = heather (18) Nathan (23)

LAST...

:x: person you've called = Whitney
:x: person that's called you = don’t remember
:x: TV show you've watched =hey Arnold
:x: person you were thinking of = uh my cat

DO...
:x: you have a bf or gf = yip
:x: you have a crush on someone = uh yip
:x: you wish you could live somewhere else = yes
:x: you think about suicide = all the time
:x: you believe in online dating = nope
:x: others find you attractive = yes
:x: you want more piercings = yes
:x: you drink = yes
:x: you do drugs = yes
:x: you smoke = yes
:x: you like cleaning = fuk no
:x: you like roller coasters = yes!

FOR OR AGAINST...
:x: long distance relationships = for
:x: using someone = ERR
:x: suicide = for
:x: killing people = against
:x: teenage smoking = for
:x: premarital sex = for
:x: driving drunk = for
:x: gay/lesbian relationship= for
:x: soap operas = against

FAVORITE...
:x: food = water
:x: thing to do = listening to music, fucking, being fucked up
:x: sports = running
:x: drinks = water
:x: clothes = duno
:x: holiday = Halloween
:x: new nerdy saying = werr wayy

HAVE YOU...
:x: ever cried over a girl= yes
:x: ever lied to someone = yes
:x: ever been in a fist fight = yes
:x: ever been arrested = not really

NUMBER...
:x: of times I have been in love? shut your fucking mouth
:x: of times I have had my heart broken? Shut your fucking mouth
:x: of hearts I have broken? = I don’t know...
:x: of girls I have kissed? 3 or 4
:x: of boys I have kissed? Err over 50 under 100
:x: of girls I've slept with? 2
:x: of boys I've slept with? Er
:x: of people I would classify as true, could trust with my life type friends? Lots
:x: of people I consider my enemies? Lots
:x: of times my name has appeared in the newspaper? a few
:x: of scars on my body? 500 something... yes I did count them I was fucking bored you fucker
:x: of things in my past that I regret? I regret my whole existence on this earth

FAVORITE...
:x: word = bashoink
:x: nickname = mazey
:x: guy name = drake
:x: girl name = mazey
:x: eye color = bright baby blue
:x: piercing = lips, or nipples


DO YOU THINK YOU ARE...
:x: pretty = no
:x: funny = no
:x: hot = no
:x: friendly = yes
:x: amusing = no
:x: ugly = yes
:x: loveable = no
:x: pessimistic = yes
:x: optimistic = no
:x: caring = yes
:x: sweet = no
:x: dorky = yes

:x: Spell your first name back wards x: haras
:x: The story behind your user name x: it’s a local rock band
:x: Are you straight? x: no im curvy
:x: Where do you live? x: rocklin
:x: 4 words that sum you up x: Stupid Fucking Problematic Idiot

WHO or WHAT (was/is/are) -
:x: In my mouth x: teeth
:x: In my head x: a brain with holes in it
:x: Wishing x: I would just drop dead
:x: After this x: I'm going to sit at the computer and do nothing
:x: Talking to x: lots of people
:x: Eating x: myself alive
:x: If you could get away with it and murder anyone, who and for what reason? x: uh I don’t know
:x: Person you wish you could see right now x: carlee
:x: Is next to you :x: my cat
:x: Something you're looking forward to in this up coming month x: getting pink tips on my hair
:x: Something that you are deathly afraid of? Not much
:x: Do you like candles x: yes
:x: Do you like hot wax x: yes, on my ass!!! haha
:x: Do you believe in love x: I don’t know
:x: Do you believe in soul mates x: kind of
:x: Do you believe in love at first sight x: kinda of
:x: Do you believe in forgiveness x: yes and no
:x: Do you believe in God x: kind of
:x: Who is your worst enemy? x: I’m my own worst enemy, I’m constantly at battle with myself
:x: If you could have any animal for a pet x: my CAT ROCKS0R MY BOX0RS EVEN THOUGH HE ONLY USES ME
:x: What is the latest you've ever stayed up x: hmm been up for a couple days before
:x: Ever been to Belgium? x: no.. I always have there waffles thought so I consider myself a native
:x: Can you eat with chopsticks x: yes
:x: What are some of your favorite pig out foods? x: water
:x: what’s something that you wish people would understand? My problems
:x: Something you want to make happen for tomorrow? die

Well Whitney is in the hospital... joy joy. I had a long talk with kaleb. I told him to fuck off so I know I’ll get it when I see him tonight. Sounds like fun don’t it. I actually don’t have much to say. Kinda of numb. I cut last night. I hit some nerves. My whole leg kind of went numb. It was weird. It still feels kind of weird. But I’m not really freaking out about it. My sister bought me these little shape things. There multi colored. And you can stick them on your wall. It’s pretty sick. I love adding shit to my room. We ate out at Mexicali rose. Good shit. I’ve been eating there since I was little. Now they have a new one by the old walmart. Coolness I suppose. I don’t want to go to school tomorrow. But I guess I have to. Fuck life is shit. Well I'm going insane so toodles my loves.

hearts;

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mmm [24 Apr 2004|04:10pm]
[ mood | blah ]
[ music | Nickelback- Figured You Out ]

Yeah new journal. My old one is full. So fun times. Yeah so I guess im ok... stayed home last night. It was funny. I was smoking a cigarette in front of my house. And this girl who lives like three houses down and has been there forever and she’s lives sixteen I think but yeah she walks by and she says. “Wow your so cool you can smoke” but all sarcastically right. And I go bitch you better shut your moth I know where you live. Hahaha. She gives me a scared look and walks on. Im like that’s all to myself. Cause she looked kind of bad ass. But I guess she cant back up what she says so she shouldn’t say it. Get herself in trouble one day. I mean if someone’s afraid of me that’s kinda sad also. Crazy world I suppose. I really fucking want kaleb to call me. Me and his ass need to have a good long talk. I wish I had his number. But I don’t. So boo fricken hoo aye. Its kinda weird people are so hurt over high school drama. My friend nessa. Always calls me and tells me how this girl was all like this and this boy was all like that. And it really effects her. People just don’t get that’s not even that much. I personally know most kids can be little fuckers. But most kids are immature. I mean all these cliques and everything. Its really stupid. When they are senors or maybe even juniors. They’ll realize how lame they were. But not all people grow out of there immaturity I hate to say. But most do. Right now its just fucking im not going to be your friend cause what you look like. And its really sad. Now I might not have the option to say this from some peoples point of view since I am a freshman myself. But still. I realize a lot more about the world then some do. I’ve been threw a lot more then some have. I know every has shit in there lives. But they keep using the negative or even positive stuff to do wrong. Im probably not making sense now sorry. But I feel like talking about this. Cause it bothers me that high school is so much more drama then people need. The “ popular people” and the “not popular people”. Fuck it. Someday everyone who thinks there better then others will realize everyone is equal. We all fucking bleed. We all hurt. We all can be happy. We all can smile. And those who get hated on say fuck those preps or whatever. That is all in anger because they don’t accept you. No matter what you say its there. But saying that also makes you as bad as them. And your not making anything better. Just creating little wars. I knoe shit like this is going to be there forever. Because people are stubborn and stick with what they want to. And I guess that’s fine. But by just changing your thought a little. Everything would be a little better. Not so many kids would commit suicide. A lot of kids who commit suicide, commit suicide because they are lonely, have no friends, or were teased to the point they could not handle there lives anymore. How fucked up is that. A person who could have been something amazing. Is dead. By his or her own hands. Some people who tease even go as far as to kill. I’ve read several stories of young boys being killed for being gay. What the fuck is that shit. And I don’t even think they did anything but be themselves. Society has such standards. It tears people up inside when they cant be what they see. Skinny is in. If your even a little overweight your fucking thrown to the ground every day. Some overweight people who are funny get in with “ the cool kids”. But if your overweight and just nice. That’s no good enough. Even if you are funny. Unless they’ve known you for a while you aren’t shit. Even if they were friends with you and you gained weight they would stop. And teasing about weight often leads to more serious things. Like anorexia, and bulimia. Which are really nothing you should mess with. I myself I have been in the struggle with both. I lost weight I gained weight. Never really got me anywhere. Maybe a hospital or two. Which is to be expected when your starving yourself to death. And for bulimia. Every time makes your body worse and worse. The acid from your stomach burns and tears your throat up. And desenigrates your teeth. Lots of nasty stuff. Its awful how much depression has taken over the world. Seems everyone is so sad these days. And its rare to find someone who has not been abused in some way. I know one to many. I was just walking my dogs with my sister last night and we heard screaming. Sounded like a couple. The guys said fuck you something something. And we heard a thump. Right across the street. We wernt sure but I don’t wanna even think about it. I’ve gone threw abuse. My sister has gone threw abuse. My mother has gone threw abuse. So has my brother. Its quite sad. I seem to be the only one stupid enough to not leave the abuser. I wear bruises and cuts like jewelry. Plus my own self inflictions. Which are not very friendly looking. Or so im told. Yeah sorry im going on to me. I don’t really like talking about me I don’t much matter. Hey the kids at rocklin thought I was dead. Maybe they’ll read this little bit about me and realize why I am not a rocklin. But they wouldn’t care till there older anyways. Haha. Yeah. Well I guess that's all.

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