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mood |
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++ [-] |
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music |
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Blue Cars//Dishwalla |
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I knew if I worded it right,
he would let me have a beer while I worked, putting inventory in.
Rolling Rock is by far my favorite beer.
I really wish I could be poetic, vague & enigmatic.
Write in my own language.
I've been so worn out. Mentally & Physically.
Work & Dr. J have me strung out.
Today has been... fuck. 4 interviews while trying to juggle checks & stupid employees & training for coffee on the expresso machine.
I have a new girl & hopefully she won't bail. We've had such bad luck lately. I worked with her before.
I bought Cameron & I a new coffee table... cause I fell&broke the other one, lol.
My Dr. J seems to like Cam. He says he's a smart guy, even though he doesn't know him-
from what I tell him about how Cameron reacts & the things he says about my flaws or whatever
you want to call them.
I always read Cam my homework.
Tonight... I have to reveal all my wrong doings in the past. Be an open book & see if he still accepts me
so I won't feel so horrible about myself & not deserving.
I also have to write letters to those I've done significant wrongs to that could be me making me feel like a horrible person.
I also have to write down all my self-loathing/worthless thoughts. &then be rational about them & write that down.
Oh, & raise meds mgs up.
....
Cameron & I carved pumpkins at mum's last night. It was awesome. I did my made-up jap-girl Romi making this face >.< and below it, it says NYAH!
Best part, cooked pumpkins seeds.
Work has seriously killed any creative & intellect strand in my body I may have had. My brain has no room for anything but work, cam & booze lol
OH! I'm going to be a Barista!
That's what they call cafe people, lol.
I guess. Gah.
I need another beer. CAMERON! -yeymmm-
Oh, Halloween party [pics on myspace] was insane. From what I remember.
Cameron took like 18 syringe jello shots, or Kurt Cobain, rather.
He lost his glasses & I lost my tiara.
We had a room out at BRP,
I woke up fully dressed & my fangs still in & Cameron in the opposite bed.
Woke up again & he was in bed with me.
We recollect nothing.
Him, from being intoxicated.
Me, klonopin + booze.
My shoes had dirt all over them & my knees are fucked, lol.
That's the beauty of being Courtney Love for Halloween. The more trashed you get, the more in character you are!
Really?
Really?
Still?
Shit talk?
Really?
Aaahhh lol
I just think of Cole's comment from a couple entries ago.
So, I've been a thrift store/salvation army queen as of late.
I've found treasures, yo.
I found Cameron this awesome, had to be hella expensive, wool sweater made in scotland.
I washed & dried it...
so now it's my sweater, lol.
I need to get to Cola to the Good Will on St. Andrews.
I always found money in the pockets of the pants I bought >.>
I'm so uniform anymore, textually.
In real life, I'm still the strange me.
But my blurty is... failing.
Maybe because I only get the chance to write when I'm at work
&I can't concentrate.
Did I mention the Whip It soundtrack is my addiction right now.
RDFTW
That's it.
Rolling Rock.
Cheers
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