Date:	2004-01-24 19:00
Subject:	Life is getting COOOL!
Security:	Public
Mood:	tired
Music:	Ma' Boys - If I ever fall in love (a capella)

Hey everyone! How ya doin’? I’m TIRED! LOL! Well after school I went back home it was already 5.30 pm and I was really tired, cuz I just slept 5 hours and I was really needing a bed! Anyway my cuz asked me to go to the disco and well I can’t say no! You know!? So I slept like 1 hour before making me ready for the party and well… at 10.30 pm we went to the disco!
We danced 6 hours non stop at 5 am I was back at home! I couldn’t anymore lol!
Today I feel so crapy and soooooo sooooo tired, but it was worthy man! I had a blast a the disco! Well that’s all!
At school was all ok! I found another friend! Magda! She is really cool! She likes AJ too! HAHAHA! Anyway. Today we wanted to go to the movies, but it is snowing a lot! That's crazy! It's not even half colder than last week! Anyway... I dunno!
My grades are really cool I'm glad that that is going cool now! Anyway... Let's see what 2004 has for us!


Ps: I’ll be back with more news, now I have to fix my neighbor’s PC! LALALAL byeee

Date:	2004-01-17 11:34
Subject:	Here I am!!
Security:	Public
Mood:	hungry
Music:	Bon Jovi - You were born to be my baby

Hey ppl! How ya doing?

I can’t believe that today SATURDAY my uncle calls at my celly at 9 AM! I MEAN IT’S SATURDAY! You know you only get 2 days to sleep and feel alive again! Come on! I was about to kill him and now I have a headache!

Anyway I went to school yesterday! *thinks* It pretty much sucked! I got in Politics a 4 that means like a C? Dunno, but I don’t deserve that.. MAN! I participated all the time and I wrote a good test… but the teacher is against the non german ppl! So I don’t have any chance! It SUCKS! ONLY SUCKS! I hate this I know more about their politics as the german students do! WHY? That’s unfair! I’m half german for God sake! And I don’t even look like a latina! Anyway… but really school SUCKS BIG TIME!

Yesterday we had a girls day… Verena came home and we had a convo and then we watched a movie “Thirteen” WOW! I just say WOW! That movie is so heavy, my God, if you didn’t watch it yet, WATCH IT NOW!

I loved the movie! It is really sad to see how far you can get to be IN…

Mmmmm I met a brazilian guy! YUMMMMMMY! He is 25, he is hella cool! Really he is coming next week to visit and let’s see what happens! This guy is really sweet! *jumps up and down* LALALALALALA

I wanna forget Marky I really wanna do it! I don’t want to have probs with Verena… really, she is a super friend, ok taking the Marky issue away…, but hey she is truly cool, she really cares… maybe I’m a butthead to you know!? I’d get my own boy now and don’t fallow Marky… let’s what happens with Will ( the Brazilian guy)
I guess is all for now! C-ya later peeps!

[edit] Some quizzes thanx to ma’ gurl Jan and survey thanx to backstreetgurl

Date:	2004-01-06 20:56
Subject:	thanks to Jan AGAIN
Security:	Public
Mood:	blank
Music:	Fame Academy - Fame

1. How long have you been a fan? Late 1995/Early 1996. I was 10

2. How did you become a fan? I heard them in a class trip from my cousin as I was visiting her in Germany and next day I bought the album. I became a CRAZY FAN.

3. Did you start off as a closet fan? NO WAY

4. Who is your favorite member? AJ and Brian

5. Was he always your favorite? No. Always Bri, but since 2000 I'm a BONE'S GIRL

6. What is it about him that keeps you hooked? Well, first of I can relate myself with AJ, cuz hell we had similar childhoods and well I guess our moms are really similar. I respect him, he became a better man and he is trying to be find himself and be happy, that's something I admire.Man... PLUS look at him, he is just HOTNESS in person.
Bri, well he is just perfect on his own way! He is funny and he is sweet!

7. What was your first concert experience? *cry*

8. What was your best concert experience? *cries even harder*

9. Do you think you spend too much money on them? OH YES, but it's all worth it cuz they make me happy.(ditto)

10. Where's the farthest you've traveled for an bsb event? 5 hours to Cologne

11. What TV appearance have you watched over and over again? I guess BSB in Otro Rollo.... let make it all of them!

12. What bsb item do you own that you value over everything else? my vids and posters and my pic with Nick

13. What's the strangest bsb item that you have? mmmm... mmm... dunno

14. What item(s) are you embarrassed to have? none of them

15. Do you get picked on for being a fan? OH Hell yes! But I don't care. Everyone has their likes and dislikes! I respect their likes, I just want them to respect my LIKES! That's all!

16. Are you pretty open about being a fan? HELL YEAH!

17. Did you ever buy a concert ticket from a scalper or broker? ermm nop.

18. If the guys walked into your bedroom, would they be scared? No, I used to have over 700 posters, but now, no I just have a few, my room is too small plus I'm growing.

19. Did you ever stand outside a venue or TV station to get a glimpse? kinda

20. Have you ever stayed in the same hotel as them? No, but waited for Nick

21. Have you ever embarrassed yourself in front of bsb? HELL THANK GOD NO!

22. Ever met bsb parents? Nop, but I'd like it too especially Denise & Jackie.

23. Ever thrown anything up on stage? *crieeeeeeeeeees*.

24. Written on your face for a concert?No I wouldn't do it.

25. How often were you burger king during the promo? there was no promo here

26. What do you think of "Now or Never"? It LOVED it, with the time... it's OK

27. Whats your favourite bsb album? BLACK & BLUE FOR LIFE

28a. What's your favorite bsb song? Drowning, AITG, Darlin', GD, YIW, BTYH, DWLYN, all I guess

28b. nick song? the last 4 songs and Miss America

29. What's your favorite music video? Drowning and More than that

30. What was the best time to be a fan? I liked all the BAckstreet Mania time! so 99-01

31. Ever met an bsb guy? yes

32. If you could have a conversation with an bsb guy, what would you talk about? Depends how much time id have and on who

33. Have you become good friends with other bsb fans? yeahhhh, all my online friends, Cam, Claudia

34. How do other fans annoy you? At concerts when they push or act all bitchy towards you and greedy to have the bsb all to there selfs. Acting like teenies, but I find that comical. when they put all their attention in like Jan said their second God Nick Carter *rolling eyes*

35. If you could ask your fave bsber one question, what would it be? Well Let's put it real I'd ask for a hug too from AJ and Bri. And if it's not real lol (it means I wouldn't be able to do it) Is if it would have been BSB and they all are solo artist which other boy would they pick to do a duet?

36. If you could re-live one happy moment of your "bsb past" which would
you choose? Seein Nick it was fun to do

37. Have you ever sung karaoke to an bsb song in front of a crowd? YEAHHHHHH.I also sang my solo at choir it was AWFY And I danced 4 years in the row BSB songs at school

38. Do you wear (or have ever worn) your bsb T-shirts in public? Yes, when I have sport at school and if I go somewhere with my class for more than 2 days I sleep with it

39. Do you feel like your fanaticism is mis-understood by others? Yes by a few people

40. If you could wish one thing for the guys' future, what would you wish for? For them to be happy, AJ Howie and Nick to find real true love and for the guys to get all the career successes they've always wanted and DESERVED. (DITTO JAN)

Date:	2004-01-06 20:49
Subject:	Update on my life
Security:	Public
Mood:	tired
Music:	Evanescense - My last breath

Hey guys! Wuz up yo!?

HAPPY NEW YEAR… LOL a lil too late, but you know, I wanted to wish it anyways!!!

Well let’s start with New year’s eve!

Well I had a fight with my peeps here, cuz they didn’t want to go out. They wanted to stay at Verena’s cellar! And Honestly I wasn’t it the mood for it! I mean 2004!!!! Man I was waiting for it since I can remember! 2004 was always gonna be my year, I’ll be finally legal and those things you know!?

Well I was really mad at them cuz they didn’t want to go clubbing or something like! I was like: WTF? MAAAAAAAAAN YOU ARE BORING!

And well after all, we went out. We went to the town’s party! It was FULL! We drunk and eat what we want for 10€

I dunno how much US$ it is! 15? Maybe!? Dunno!

Anyway… I wasn’t drunk til 11 pm I mean it was ok, but I was alone, all of them it means ( Olli + Debo, Verena + Marky, me and Dominik) But Dominik is a GOOD friend, just a friend, he is not my type or something if you know what I mean! He is a friend and well… he was talking to a bunch of guys and I was playing with the champagne bottle, meanwhile the OTHERS were kissing and well… *rolling eyes* I wasn’t feeling it man!

So I drunk the champagne and at 11.55 I’m not sure if it was at the time, but it was close to midnight, the DJ put

“Everybody” WOW ! That was freaking awesome! I jumped up and down and sang as loud as I could and Verena was jumping too and she tell me: HEEEEEEEEY BACKSTREET YEAR IS HERE HUN!

At that point I was so drunk that I don’t really know how I went home or what was the deal! So yeah… that was my new years eve! LOL Marky made pics of it! I’m gonna try to put it here as soon as I got them! Ok?



Well the next days went ok, til Monday! FUCKING MONDAY! I couldn’t believe that my 14 days of freedom were over! I gotta back to work and on Friday back to school! Do I want it? NO way! Why? Cuz I’m having 3 fucking exams! YUCK! And man it’s freaking cold outside! On Monday I felt asleep at work! LOL

LOL today I came from work at 3 pm and I was so hungry and my aunt didn’t cook for me or well maybe she did, but my cousin ate that for sure, so I was angry cuz I was SO hungry! Anyway, I made my lunch and then I was watching TV. I was zapping and suddenly in the Italian Music Channel came Kelly with “The Trouble of love” Ok maybe for my US fellas is like: Oh aha! I already saw it!

Well I never really watch it, just in the net, but like… not on TV! I screamed and put it so laud! LOL!!! Man everytime I listen to her or to the boys I got goose pumps (sp?) even in my head lol! Weird, but hey she totally rocks!

Well the deal is that I felt asleep and it was already 4.30 and it was really dark outside and my uncle came from work and woke me up…lol I thought I had to go to work. I jumped from the couch and said: MAAAAN I wanted to take a shower…!!! My uncle said: Steff is just 5.30 pm take it easy girl! THANK GOD MAN! LOL



Well tomorrow I want to go downtown, I gotta do the see test for my drivers license and I gotta do the pics of the license and I gotta do this 1st Help or whatever it calls! At the red cross! I’m hella happy yo! I’ll drive my own car baby! I’m so happy! I have a VW Golf 4 in Silver! Well I’ll keep you update it with my drivers lessons! Ok?



Anyway… I bought 5 CD’s with my xmas certificate thingy from the mall!

I got:

- Michelle Branch’s Hotel Paper à Totally ROCKS! I LOVE IT

- Evanescence’s Fallen à WOW! Thanks for telling me I should buy it guys!

- Christina’s first album à I needed to have it! Plus I got a special edition with remixes and so on

- Black Eyed Peas à HELLA COOL, specially “Latin Girls”!

- Sarah Connor’s Key to my Soul à well she is a german singer with a WOW voice! She is KEWL! d/l “Music is the key” or “Bounce” the songs are AWESOME!



Well guys that’s a lot for now! I leave you with a song I love and I can relate myself with! This is a song I’d sing for Marky, but shhhhhh!



Michelle Branch – Desperately

Something 'bout the way you looked at me
Made me think for a moment,
That maybe we were meant to be
Living our lives seperately
And it's strange that things change
But not me wanting you so desperately

[Chorus:]
Oh why can't I ignore it?
I keep giving it in but I should know better
'Cause there was something 'bout the way you looked at me
And it's strange that things change
But not me wanting you so desperately

You looked my way and said "you frustrate me"
Like you're thinking of lines and times
When you and I were you and me
We took our chance out on the street
Then I missed my chance
And chances are it won't be coming back to me

Why can't I ignore it?
I keep giving in, but I should know better
'Cause there was something 'bout the way you looked at me
And it strange that things change
But not me wanting you-

So desperately
So desperately

[CHORUS]

I keep giving in but I should know better
I keep giving in but I should know better
So desperately
I want you so desperately

Date:	2003-12-26 17:35
Subject:	thanx to Jan again!
Security:	Public
Mood:	calm
Music:	Butterflies - Alcia Keys

1. What did you do in 2003 that you'd never done before?
Worked

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I didn't do any last year and my new resolution is to stop smoking!

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My aunt had baby girl in feb

4. Did anyone close to you die?
yeah my greatgrandaunt

5. What countries did you visit?
Holland and mmm I dunno the name in english but the capital is Prague :P

6. What would you like to have in 2004 that you lacked in 2003?
Uhh a boyfriend, lose weight and be more happy

7. What date from 2003 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Dec 10, bsb on oprah, 2th July, my graduation, 4th-10th May my prom trip

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
survive without my mom! And show the world and myself how independent a 17 year old girl can be and how strong can be

9. What was your biggest failure?
being lazzy at school. I could have had a better avarage

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
mmmm not yet

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Webcam, Backstreet Mom book, Kelly Clarkson's thankful, DVD player

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Cam's

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Cam's

14. Where did most of your money go?
CDs and clothes

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Every BSB event

16. What song will always remind you of 2003?
"My Immortal" Evanscense, "Everytime" Britney, "Crazy in love" Beyonce

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
I. happier or sadder? happier
ii. thinner or fatter? thinner
iii. richer or poorer? haha well richer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Worked at things more

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Complaining, worrying

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
with my family, without mom :(

22. Did you fall in love in 2003?
YES HELLA YES.... *sad*

23. How many one-night stands?
haaaaa this year? 2 but same guy

24. What was your favorite TV program?
Punk'd, Fame Academy

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
mmmm dunno

26. What was the best book you read?
Backstreet Mom, A walk to remember, Wir Kinder von Bhf Zoo

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Evanesance, Kelly Clarkson

28. What did you want and got?
BSB to come back and driver license and a new celly

29. What did you want and not get?
A boyfriend

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Well... mmm Italian Job, Freaky Friday, Bad Boys II

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I did a bbq party with all my friends and I turned 17

32.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Having him... AHHHH *sad again*

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2003?
ghetto/hip hop

34. What kept you sane?
Talking to people about things

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
BSB, Britney, xtina, kelly clarkson, pink

36. What political issue stirred you the most?.
Iraq, war

37. Who did you miss?
my mom and Cam

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Jan, Alma, Nath, Naj and my boss

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2003:
To be strong and always trying to find the positive in all the bad! Everything happens for a reason. Hapiness is what we make of it -Alex McLean-

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"Misguided heart
Miss Play-it-smart
Miss If-ya-wanna-use-that-line-ya-better-not-start, no
But she miscalculated
She didn't wanna end up jaded
And this Miss decided not to miss out on true love
So, by changing her misconceptions
She went in a new direction
And found inside
She felt a connection
She fell in love..."

Date:	2003-12-26 17:25
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	blah
Music:	One last Cry - Brian McKnight

Hey wuz up!? How was xmas ya''ll???? I had a cool xmas, well like most of the years,,, I just missed my mom tons, but hey it was ok! It's not the first xmas we spend it apart! But well
Mmmmm what can I say? We ate turkey and rice (-sp?-) at 8.00 pm and after that we had a long convo and so and like at 9.30 we became our presents! It was really coool! I got well thongs, money, a new bike, my grannie is paying my drivers license lessons and, I got a dopey doll (from snowwhite you know?)Lol Alex played dopey at the theater when he was lil and well I love dopey, I got Pink's CD and I got JT's DVD and money and money.
BTW Pink''s Cd is from MARKY my baby! I was so happy Ahhhhhh
Yesterday I watched World Idol and it was AWESOME! I mean KELLY WAS THE BEST!!! I wish I could have such voice!

That's all folks! I g2g!

Date:	2003-12-15 17:56
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	blah
Music:	You are my angel - B3

1. I love AJ McLean
2. I think Kev is an Angel
3. I love the BSB
4. I met Nick
5. I like Beyonc?
6. I miss my mom
7. I blocked ppl when I don't want to talk to them
8. I'm a DLS adictive
9. I LOVE internet
10. I love doing graphics
11. I listen music all day long even at work
12. I don't watch TV often
13. I love my eyes
15. Half of my clothes is blue, baby blue or white
16. I love to dance
17. I danced jazz, hip hop, ballet for 4 yeard
18. I wanted to be a coreographer
19. When I fall in love it's hard to change my mind
20. I moved from my original coutry
21. I speak 4 languages
22. I'm gonna start my driving lessons in January
23. I love to sleep
24. I'm tired
25. I LOVE MEAT
26. I love hip hop
27. I don't get drunk easily
28. I love clubbing
29. I hook up in the club with guys I don't know
30. I cried when I watched Oprah
31. I'm happy cuz the boys are back
32. I was at a JT concert
33. I have all xmas presents
34. I love Celine Dion
35. I'm so excited about World Idol
36. Kelly will win
37. I'll be 18 in august 2004
38. I live alone
39. and feel alone at times
40. My best friend took my boy away
41. I still love him
42. I love Burger King
43. Mc Donalds
44. Pizza Hut
45. KFC
46. my butt hurts
47. Is snowing in my town
48. I'm proud of Alex
49. and proud of being a BSB fan
50. Can't wait to see Lord of the rings: The return of the King
51. I hate Happy Potter
52. I totally love teeny romantic movies
53. I was a fan of Dawson's Creek
54. Totally hated Dawson
55. and love Pacey
57. I think that Joshua Jackson is HOT
58. Shane West is cool
60. but I still think that AJ is the HOTTEST of the world
61. I want to hug Baylee
62. I Love Denise McLean
63. I miss my best friend
64. I miss half of the ppl I know
65. I already have xmas presents for my family
66. I'm not going to work tomorrow
67. I'm sick most of the time
68. I love Sketchers
69. I'm a ghetto girly
70. I talk with my hands
71. I had a dog
72. I've seen Finding Nemo
73. I love it
74. I love my mom above everything
75. I have friends all over the wolrd
76. I'm freezing
77. I love to sing
78. I recorded it
79. I have a web Cam
80. I'm friendly when I like ppl

Date:	2003-12-15 17:09
Subject:	:D
Security:	Public
Mood:	cold
Music:	She wants me - AC feat NC

1. I love the backstreet boys
2. and Britney spears
3. I hate Nsync
4. Yet wanna date JC Chasez
5. Ive Had a boyfriend who looked like a celebrity
6. Ive never learned how to drive a car
7. My favorite color changes with time
8. I love pink cotton candy
9. I dont have a DVD player
10. one of my parents died
11. I have half siblings
12. My mom is my hero
13. I was bullied as a kid but not in highschool
14. I hate cigarettes and drugs
15. I wanted to be a journalist
16. Im not athletic
17. Im poetic
18. Im creative with words
19. I love to dye my hair
20. Ive never been to Disney World
21. Ive met a Spice Girl
22. I have a 17 year old neice
23. My best friend is older than me
24. I think AJ Mclean is the sexiest guy alive
25. I think Brian Littrell is the sweetest guy alive
26. I graduated highschool
27. I dropped out of college
28. I wear newsboy caps
29. My favorite makeup item is lipstick
30. Im addicted to magazines
31. And sappy movies
32. I have a cat
33. Im 5'1
34. I live with my mother
35. Im scared of lizards
36. Justin Timberlake is over rated
37. I believe war is wrong
38. I love perfume
39. Im cynical
40. I procrastinate too much
41. I have regrets in life
42. Im a borderline vegiterian
43. I know only one language
44. Im addicted to the internet
45. I prefer msn to yim or aol even though it crashes more
46. It has cuter smilies
47. Ive seen BSB live
48. 3 times
49. Nick carter once
50. I collect Angel figurines
51. I believe in God
52. I was a fan of Dawsons Creek
53. I wanted Joey to pick Dawson
54. I own over 50 movies
55. My bedroom is blue
56. I have small feet
57. Stolen from a store once
58. Drank once
59. I prefer Halloween to Christmas
60. I love scary movies
61. I like guys with great eyes and teeth
62. I have only 2 piercings
63. I fear ending up alone
64. I fear losing my mother
65. My favorite flower is gerbera daisies
66. Ive never been sent flowers by a boyfriend
67. I never went to prom
68. Ive been cheated on
69. I cheated on someone
70. Im not good with kids
71. Or math
72. Im good at giving advice
73. Im a softy at heart
74. Im cold to people I dont trust
75. I bore easily
76. Im impatient
77. Im am for the death penalty
78. My family has a history of cancer
79. Im a capricorn
80. I write fanfiction
81. Im very insecure
82. Im a loyal friend
83. I can memorize a song on the first listen specially BSB ones
84. I hate punk
85. I hate heavy metal
86. I cried when Aaliyah died
87. And Lisa Left Eye Lopes
88. I think Madonna is a genius
89. I miss the class of old hollywood
90. I love the clothing of the 20's-60's
91. No one knows me better than my mother
92. I love kentucky fried chicken
93. and New York fries
94. and chocolate
95. I sing in the shower
96. I sing in the mirror
97. I sing off key
98. I have freckles
99. My new fashion obsession is mary jane shoes
100. I worry about others.

Date:	2003-12-13 19:29
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	sick
Music:	Thankful -Kelly Clarkson

Well I see Oprah... MY GOD! Thank god Kev is like that (Yeah baby*lol*) I just wanna give him a BIG ass kiss and thank him! Alex is like really important to me... dunno ask me why!
I realized that they are in my list of the most important ppl in my life!

1. MOM
2. Rest of my family
3. Backstreet
4. My friends (online and offline)
5. My nanny

The thing with my friends is that they don't really are with me all the time! you know!? Like they don't support me ALL the time... I dunno how can I say that I mean BSB were always there without knowing it and they helped me trough a lot... I mean I LOVE MY PPL! So... it doesn't matter in which number is who! You know!?

But back at Oprah! I really cried, I can't believe that we were | | so close to lose Alex! WOW! I guess God really exists!
So I already burned the whole show and I'm gonna see it OVER AND OVER AGAIN! :D *smiles*
Well c.ya there *sneeeeeeezs* I'm sick... haaaaaa!

Date:	2003-12-05 19:03
Subject:	OMG: They always make this OVER and OVER again! You make my day ma' Boys
Security:	Public
Mood:	happy
Music:	The Call - BACKSTREET BOYS! :)

Date:	2003-12-03 20:40
Subject:	Hey I bought a camara too!
Security:	Public
Mood:	tired
Music:	Shut up- Black Eyed Peas

Look what I did! HEHEHEHEHE!!!
We can have web conference Jan!! LOL *smilies*

Date:	2003-12-02 20:45
Subject:	so... like this...
Security:	Public
Mood:	crappy
Music:	none

Save My Life

She's back on drugs again
Even though she knows it ain't right
She can't even call up her friends
And say "help me save my life"
She's so ashamed of herself that she's come full circle
Nobody understands what it's like to
Be this girl
So she disappeared, and she
Wasn't clear, and she
Didn't say where she was going

[Chorus]
Save my life, won't you help me
Save my life, won't you help me
Save my life, won't you hear me
Save my life, won't you help me

She had the man of her dreams
And some success
And she was so happy, and looking well
It was this one dark night, that she
Slipped
And then the next morning that she
Felt like a piece of shit
So she's hanging out, and she's
With the crowd, and she's
Travelin' where the wind is blowing

[Chorus]

And he's a real good guy and he
Wants to save her 'cause he's
More than been there all before
And she's so confused and his heart is breaking and he
Dreams she's knocking on his door
[Chorus]


COOOL SONG by Pink!

Date:	2003-11-29 20:51
Subject:	Life is literally HARD
Security:	Public
Mood:	crappy
Music:	Just missed the train - Kelly Clarkson

Well... I hate weekends! And I hate this fucking Family…. I hate them all! They are really stupid all of them! I miss my mom! At least she had a brain! I dunno what they think, but they are all against me, cuz last weekend I said what I really think about Daniela (my cousin)… SO WHAT? She is a bitch she is a liar, she is lazy, she is stupid, she is the one who plays the victim everyday, she is the one who tells stories, which are no true! So… Am I wrong to say what I think!? I mean THEY asked me what I was bothering me! So I said it!
Now they have to live with the truth! Sorry, but there are things I can’t hide! And one thing I learn is to be true to myself! I can’t play the best friend of this bitch, cuz I don’t stand her! So… there you go… I tell the truth.
In fact I’d have say more, but no…. I’m not THAT stupid you know!? HAHAHA!
So my day was stupid, I had to clean my house up and decorate for tomorrow it’s 1st Advent here! So I did all the chicky micky thing for xmas… like candles and Santa and so on all around my apartment… So it was FUN… This is the first official xmas I will spent without seeing my mom more than 4 months!
* sigh * I wish she were here! It would be easier to deal with this FUCKERS! I hate them all you know!? I hate them…

Anyway… yesterday I was at Verena’s, Marky was there too! Hahaha! I slowly begin to think that we are gonna end like doing some kind of threesome, you know? LOL LIKE NOOOOOOO that way… like not any sexual things Yo! Like… is always forth and back… like I know he likes me… he wouldn’t have kissed me like 234567 times before, don’t ya think? BOYS… can’t live with them, can’t live without them! Right?
Man… it was really fun last night! I guess Verena never gets jealous, cuz she still feels guilty, cuz she was the one in between so… I guess now she has to suffer the consequences… we flirt with each other in front of her… so… it’S not my intention, but it’s like… I do it without knowing it!

Last night we listened to BSB CD’S Backstreet’s Back and Millennium! Hahahaha! Marky knows almost all the lyrics of the albums! HAHAH he said his sis is a BIG fan, specially from Nick… and she listens to the albums all day long and he HAS to listen along… He also told me that she knows almost every KORN lyric, because of him!
He loves Korn… I like just “Freak on a Leash” , but it’s all good, at least I know who they are… and the names and all not like Verena. I had to give her a crash course in subject Korn … she didn’t even know who they are… I was like DUH? Then I think again… she is European… most of them are weird! LOL!
Hahahah sorry if I offended anyone, I’m half European, too, but JUST half! So… my other half is SANE! LOL!

Anyway… that’s all ya’ll! Love ya tons! Behave!!!

Date:	2003-11-26 16:48
Subject:	JT and Black Eyed Peas
Security:	Public
Mood:	lazy
Music:	Betcha By Golly Wow (live) - Ma boys *smiles*

WOW!!!!! May I please scream!?!?!?!?! WOW guys it was like AMAZING! I never ever saw something like that specially BEP feat Justin! WOW it was the Burner! YO! me and my best friend (Verena) had a BLAST!

Well ok the concert was 120 km away from my city so at 4 'o clock we started our trip! We had to drive like 2 hours or 1 1/2 hrs. Anyway... We got lost in Hamburg, maaaaaaan that city is AMAZING... but I JUST WANTED TO FIND THE DAMN ARENA!
Finally after ask like 10 ppl we arrived at the Color Line Arena... we jumped from the car out and ran to the entrance... it was 7.30 and the concert was at 8.00... so I was like a lil bouncy you know? And THEY TOOK MY F*CKING CAMARA AWAY!!! I WAS FURIOUS!

Ok we had low floor... so by that time (7.30) I said, ok FUCK Y'ALL! We are not gonna see a thing yo! But we went in and it was not so full by then... there was two sections in the low floor... the first 1000 ppl was in the first section and they could go in and out without a problem, cuz they had a kinda "VIP Pass" you know what I mean? Anyway... I was furious and I said to one of the security men that we drove from Hanover and we got lost in the city and that I was waiting for that concert since august and PLEASE PLEASE he should us let go into that section! So I was almost kissing his ass... lol... and bothering him for 10 min and after that he said: OK THIS TWO AND THAT'S IT NO MORE IN THIS SECTION! So I was dancing around and singing and we went in, we were in the 5th row!
Anyway... we waited... like 10 min and the concert begun!

BEP were support act! DAMN YO! It was sooooooooo DAMN FUCKING GOOD!!!! I swear yo! I'm gonna buy the CD like today! Fergie kick ass yo! She shaked her ass better as Beyoncé! MAN YO! It was COOOL! Well they sang like 5 songs and the final one was "SHUT UP" . They played a lil bit of "Where's the love" and they went away! Everyone was like WTF????

AHHHHHHA but Steff has a brain yo! I knew that they are gonna sing it in the middle of JT's Show! YOu know!? HAHAHA
So JT put an awesome show! The ppl was cool and let me tell you something.... JT is a damn good entertainer! He is cool! He dances like a GOD! I swear!
What I really didn't like is that altough he interact with the audience by making us sing he spoke like 4 sentence and that was it! Like not "HELLOS" like Rok does or "I can't hear you" like Nick or all the things that the boys do... you know? Well the concert was cool!

The best songs for me were all the singles he has and the BEST was "Where's the love" It was WOW! EVERYONE SANG WITH and nor BEP or Justin have to sing, we sang the entire song!
After that Justin was in this stage which "flies" lol and he was like 5 mts away from me and he said "DANCE" and I was like dancing and jumping and singing! LOL it was cool!

The show ended at 11.00 pm and Verena's parents wanted to pick us up at 12 so we waited and waited... BUT altough it was raining, I found JT's tour bus and we saw him leaving! I yelled: HEY JT!!! THANX FOR THE SHOOOOOOW! and he smiled at me and waved and went into the bus!

And then we had an interview with a radio station, we had to sing "Cry me a river" lol!!!!

My comment was: "Oh JT you put an amazing show, but I'm still a Backstreeter and I'll be forever! " Verena laughed her butt off as I said it... lol!

Ok, so I hope it's not a mess and you can understand everything lol! annnnnd that's it!

Date:	2003-11-22 12:42
Subject:	Quizes!!!!! thanx to Jan again!
Security:	Public
Mood:	busy
Music:	By my side - Backstreet "Mah Babies" Boys

You have a surprise kiss! Your partner is always
pleasantly pleased to have you jump outta no
where to dote them with a fun peck on the cheek
or more passionate embrace. super markets and
work places are your favorite places to attack
your loved one with all your love =p


What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Wonders why? *smiles*


Your soul is bound to the Rose Petals: The
Wronged.

"'ve come undone and all hopes of mending
me are gone because the pain took my soul.
Can't you see? The only one who can put me
back together again is me."

The Rose Petals are associated with sorrow,
reflection, and wisdom. They are governed by
the goddess Persephone and their sign is The
Teardrop, or Broken Love.

As a Rose Petal, you are always self-reflective and
may be hard on yourself. You probably have
been hurt in the past by other people and can
sometimes distance yourself, as a result. You
don't usually let other get too close to you,
but you are very good at mending your spirits
back together by yourself.


What Rose Is Your Soul Bound To?
brought to you by Quizilla


congratulations. you are the kiss my ass happy
bunny. You don't care about anyone or anything.
You must be so proud


which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
LOL YES I AM!! LOL

You have a surprise kiss! Your partner is always
pleasantly pleased to have you jump outta no
where to dote them with a fun peck on the cheek
or more passionate embrace. super markets and
work places are your favorite places to attack
your loved one with all your love =p


What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Wonders why? *smiles*


Your soul is bound to the Rose Petals: The
Wronged.

"'ve come undone and all hopes of mending
me are gone because the pain took my soul.
Can't you see? The only one who can put me
back together again is me."

The Rose Petals are associated with sorrow,
reflection, and wisdom. They are governed by
the goddess Persephone and their sign is The
Teardrop, or Broken Love.

As a Rose Petal, you are always self-reflective and
may be hard on yourself. You probably have
been hurt in the past by other people and can
sometimes distance yourself, as a result. You
don't usually let other get too close to you,
but you are very good at mending your spirits
back together by yourself.


What Rose Is Your Soul Bound To?
brought to you by Quizilla


congratulations. you are the kiss my ass happy
bunny. You don't care about anyone or anything.
You must be so proud


which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
LOL YES I AM!! LOL

Date:	2003-11-22 12:15
Subject:	Love....
Security:	Public
Mood:	confused
Music:	Can't help falling in love - UB 40

Well I dunno what to think, I had this dates with this awesome guy! Who is the sweetest I ever knew! But he doesn't live like near my city he lives wayyyyy to long! I live in Hannover and he lives in Rostock! He was here for 4 weeks and well... I have no luck in love! I really mean it yo!
He left yesterday... I'm like sad, but dunno what to think, we said our goodbyes and and he asked me if we want to give "this" a chance, I personally think that long distance relationships are stupid and suck big time! I already had one..., - no good results- so I guess I won't do it all over again! He said he is gonna come every weekend to see me... COOOOL! Where's he gonna stay!? I don't have any problem if he stays at my home, cuz well I have a whole appartment for me! But this is still at my aunt's home... She doesn't have any problem with it! But my uncle, doesn't like the idea! You know how italians are!? Right? FUCK YO MAN! What should I do? I told him, we could stay friends and that's all! As long as I don't live completly alone it's not gonna work!

*sigh* Love? Leave it for others, Steff! Man It sucks! Yesterday night my best friend Verena and her bf Markus... (yeah THEY are actually together...) came to me and we watch DVD... "Nemo" really really sweeeeeeeeeeet!
But ok... I was like... alone! I THOUGHT!
you know what? I guess we are gonna end with a threesom relationship!? LIKE NO THAT WAY YO!
He doesn't really know what he wants! And I talked to Verena and she says that she thinks that the whole thing is like a threesom... cuz we are always together and everytime Verena says to him as a joke go away, he says: "Ok I'm going to my other gf" So yeah kinda threesom feeling! Yesterday we ended funny and weird... like he was the KING and we did everything he wanted--- well not THAT---- mannnn you have a dirty mind yo!
WE HAD A BLAST! But I dunno what to think... what to do or what to feel... I wish... I'd stop loving Marky and forget him and dunno, I wish Olli could stay here and start all over again...
I guess the time is gonna come... someday I'm gonna find my Mr. Right...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm so happy that the guys are back again yo! I dunno why, but I have the feeling that they are gonna rock and kick some butts! And NOW they are gonna win a grammy!
I was watching the Grammys 2000 when they did this Medley thingy! MAN! Why don't they give them a fucking Gramophon? HUH? Is that so hard? They are the best vocal group of our generation and come on! They deserve it! I dunno what they are waiting for....

Talking about Grammy... this years nomination might have Nick, isn't it? *thinks* What would you think if he wins? LOL hahaha! I mean it would never happen, cuz this guys who choose the winners pick the most popular I guess... SO WHY DIDN'T THEY GIVE A FUCKING GRAMMY TO THE GUYS? *slooooooooooow down*

Oh... about this Jacko thingy right? I saw Kevin talking about him on Mtv news now last night... he was cute in this Miss Sixty Party last week! He said he thinks Jacko is innocent! What do you ya'll think?
I think he should go to a metal hospital! He is totally sick , the guy is just ewwwwwww, I was a big fan before, but I dunno he has cool songs, but I still think that Janet is better! So yeah GIRL POWER! At least Janet is still black and proud of it! Jacko is CRAZY! Anyway... I dunno if he is guilty or not... to tell the truth I don't care...

Anyway guys I g2g now, cuz I have to do somethings at home...

Date:	2003-11-19 18:40
Subject:	Quizes!!!!! thanx to Jan again!
Security:	Public
Mood:	weird
Music:	Only Hope - Mandy Moore

Your Boyband match is the Backstreet Boys!
You into the first boyband that hit the scene with
the best in singing and dancing!


Which Boyband is your match?
brought to you by Quizilla


You are "Thank God I Found You"! Someone
in your life has affected you for the good and
you can't thank them enough for that. This
person means a lot to you and helped you out a
lot.


Which Mariah Carey Song Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla



Coulda Woulda Shoulda:
you love to grab lifes experiences and not let them
go by...you know you would regrett things if
you didnt take chances in life and love


What celine dion song are you? (with images)
brought to you by Quizilla


You should be dating a Sagittarius.
22 November - 21 December
Your mate is frank and open, optimistic and honest.
Though the Archer can display bouts of
argumentative, impatient and critical
behaviour, he or she is extremely adventurous
in bed.


What Zodiac Sign Are You Attracted To?
brought to you by Quizilla

Date:	2003-11-19 18:15
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	giggly
Music:	This is the last goodbye - Ronan Keating

Credit to jaded_angel thanx to Jan!
LAYER ONE:
-- Name: Stefanie
-- Birth date: 08.14.1986
-- Birthplace: Bolivia
-- Current Location: germany
-- Eye Color: green
-- Hair Color: dirty blond
-- Height: ermmm like 1,71 m
-- Righty or Lefty: Righty
-- Zodiac Sign: LEO

LAYER TWO:
-- Your heritage: spanish, latin, german, dutch
-- The shoes you wore today: sneckers
-- Your weakness: music
-- Your fears: dying, being abandoned
-- Your perfect pizza: just cheese
-- Goal you'd like to achieve: Become a media designer

LAYER THREE:
-- Your most overused phrase on AIM: LOL
-- Your thoughts first waking up: ughhh it's cooooold
-- Your best physical feature: seriuosly? my butt, my smile, my lips and my eyes
-- Your bedtime: between 11 and 12
-- Your most missed memory: Highschool

LAYER FOUR:
-- Pepsi or Coke: COKE
-- McDonald's or Burger King: Mcdonalds
-- Single or group dates: both I guess
-- Adidas or Nike: Adidas
-- Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate
-- Cappuccino or Coffee: Cappuccino

LAYER FIVE:
-- Smoke: yes
-- Cuss: SURE YO!
-- Sing: always
-- Take a shower everyday: yeah
-- Have a crush(es):yesssssss
-- Do you think you've been in love: yeah I've been in love
-- Want to go to college: yuuuup
-- Like(d) high school: I loved that time
-- Want to get married: yup
-- Believe in yourself: yes
-- Get motion sickness: nop
-- Think you're attractive: Sometimes
-- Think you're a health freak: No
-- Get along with your parent(s): Yes, I only have one left though
-- Like thunderstorms: yes
-- Play an instrument: yes electric organ

LAYER SIX:
In the past month...
-- Drank alcohol: yes
-- Smoked: yes
-- Done a drug: NO
-- Gone to the mall?: mmmm yes
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos: NOOOO there's no Oreos in Germany :cry:
-- Eaten sushi: Nop ewww
-- Been on stage: No
-- Been dumped: nop
-- Gone skating: No
-- Made homemade cookies: nop
-- Gone skinny dipping: LOL NO WAY
-- Dyed your hair:Nop
-- Stolen anything: Nop

LAYER SEVEN:
Ever...
-- Played a game that required removal of clothing: haha yes
-- If so, was it mixed company: yes
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: hahah trashed lol
-- Been caught "doing something": thank god NO!
-- Been called a tease: yes
-- Gotten beaten up: No
-- Shoplifted: no
-- Changed who you were to fit in: NEVER

LAYER EIGHT:
-- Age you hope to be married: 24.29
-- How do you want to die: how? dunno, just like not sick or in an accident
-- Where you want to go to college: Barcelona (Autonoma) or Colgne
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: Media Deisgner
-- What country would you most like to visit: USA, Puerto Rico, Argentina, Italy, HOLLAND, Spain

LAYER NINE:
-- Best eye color: blue or brown
-- Best hair color? blond or brown
-- Short or long hair: Depends
-- Height: ermmmm
-- Best weight:ermmmm too
-- Best articles of clothing: tank tops
-- Best first date location: mmm *thinks* *blushes* dunno some romantic place
-- Best first kiss location: mmmm dunno I don't care where!

LAYER TEN:
-- Number of drugs taken illegally: 0
-- Number of people I could trust with my life: 1, thats hard to decide. But #1 is my mom she is the only one I know FOR SURE I can trust in every way *agrees with Jan*
-- Number of CDs that I own: over 100
-- Number of piercings: 4
-- Number of tattoos: 2
-- Number of times my name has appeared in a newspaper: WOW A LOT! Dunno more than 50 times
-- Number of scars on my body: 5
-- Number of things in my past that I regret: mmm a lot A LOT! like 100

Date:	2003-11-15 21:35
Subject:	BSB survey
Security:	Public
Mood:	relaxed
Music:	6,8,12 by Brian McKnight

BSB SURVEY:

NAME: Stefanie
AGE: 17
RESIDENCE: Germany
SINCE WHEN ARE YOU A BSB FAN: 1995/96
FAV BACKSTREET BOY: AJ & Brian
FAV SINGLE: Drowning
FAV VIDEO: More than that
FAV ALBUM: Black & Blue
FAV SONG ON BACKSTREET BOYS: I'll never break your heart and Just to be close
FAV SONG ON BACKSTREET'S BACK: 10,000 promises, All I have to give, If I dont have you, Set Drift on Memories Bliss
FAV SONG ON MILLENNIUM: Don't wanna lose you now, Back to your heart, It's gotta be you, No one else comes close
FAV SONG ON BLACK & BLUE: ALL of them, but Everyone
FAV NON-ALBUM SONG: Dont leave me, If you stay, Lay down beside me, If you knew what I knew, Baby I'm yours .
FAV VHS/DVD: Around the world, A Night out and the Backstreet The Videos the green one! (There's Krisitn on it lol dancing with ALex)
FAV BOOK: Backstreet Mom
FAV CONCERT YOU'VE BEEN TO (when+where): That's the saddest question ever... I never was in one!
BEST TOUR: Black & Blue ( I saw all tours in Vid)
BEST TV PERFORMANCE: Drowning on the view, Medley on the Grammies, when they sang with Shania Twain, BSB's Back live on the VMAs, United we stand, Medley on Rosie, Shape of my heart at the EMA's, ETC


BTW: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh BACKSTREET'S BACK ALRIGHT!