| I really liked this. :) |
[09 Dec 2007|07:59pm] |
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music |
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"This Christmas" ~ Chris Brown |
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I AM THANKFUL FOR...
The partner who hogs the covers every night, because he is not out with someone else...
The child who is not cleaning his room, but is watching TV, because it means he is at home and not out on the streets...
For the taxes that I pay, because it means I am employed...
For the mess I have to clean up after a party, because it means I have been surrounded by friends...
For the clothes that fit a little too snugly, because it means I have enough to eat...
For my shadow that watches me work, because it means I am in the sunshine...
For the lawn that needs mowing, the windows that need cleaning, the gutters that need fixing, because it means I have a home...
For all the complaints I hear about the government because it means we have freedom of speech..
For the parking space I find a the far end of the car park, because it means I am capable of walking and have been blessed with transportation...
For my huge heating bill, because it mean I am warm...
For the lady behind me in church who sings off key, because it means that I can hear...
For the pile of laundry and ironing, because it means I have clothes to wear...
For weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day, because it means I have been capable of working hard..
For the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours, because it means I am alive...
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| appreciation |
[16 Aug 2007|09:58pm] |
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mood |
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gratified |
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music |
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talking to Shaun |
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"You know, there was another girl that really wanted this job. Angela had worked with her before, and she liked her, but she fought for you. She wanted someone she knew was reliable, and that truly loved the kids."--Tim
Tim is the husband of the teacher I work with in the summer.
I cannot even explain how good this makes me feel.
My job is honestly the best thing that has ever happened to me. I love it there.
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| "In the arms of an angel, may you find some comfort." |
[20 Apr 2007|02:16pm] |
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mood |
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 sad |
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music |
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"Broken Sunday"~Saliva |
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R.I.P. Chloe aka "Fats"
04/14/07
So much more than just a cat to us.
You are gone but will never be forgotten, beautiful girl.
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| eerily accurate |
[01 Mar 2007|05:10pm] |
Dear Alicia,
Here is your horoscope
for Thursday, March 1:
You're tackling big questions about your place in this world, which leads you to rethink your aims when it comes to identity. What do you really want? Is it the same as what you think you should want?
There is SOO much going on right now and this is soo accurate it blows my mind.
God I hope this all works out.
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| loove this song. |
[13 Feb 2007|10:26am] |
"What If"
Plain White T's
What if nobody likes me
what if I don't succeed
What if I give it all that I've got
and I still don't got what they need
What if I don't get anywhere at all
Will I consider myself a failure
will I be that small
What if she doesn't like me
what if I'm not her type
What if all the girls that ever like me
Are not the kind of girls that I like
What if I meet the right one and screw it up
Will I consider myself a failure
will I give up
I'm gonna keep trying
getting denied just makes me want it more
I'll keep trying and each time push harder than before
I can't live my life always worried about what if
'Cause what if I die tomorrow
Then I never even lived
What if they don't like me
what if they think I'm a joke
What if they act nice to my face
But they hate me and I don't even know
What if they end up stabbing me in the back
Will I consider myself a failure or will I fight back
I'm gonna keep trying
getting denied just makes me want it more
I'll keep trying and each time push harder than before
I can't live my life always worried about what if
'Cause what if I die tomorrow
Then I never even lived
What if nobody likes me
what if I don't succeed
What if I give it all that I've got
and it's not good enough till I bleed
What if I don't get anywhere at all
Will I consider myself a failure
will I be that small
NO!
I'm gonna keep trying
getting denied just makes me want it more
I'll keep trying and each time push harder than before
I can't live my life always worried about what if
'Cause what if I die tomorrow
Then I never even lived
I'm gonna keep trying
getting denied just makes me want it more
(makes me want it more)
I'll keep trying and each time push harder than before
(harder than before)
I can't live my life always worried about what if
'Cause what if I die tomorrow
Then I never even lived
(never even lived)
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| new year |
[02 Jan 2007|11:33pm] |
Farewell, 2006.
Bring it on, 2007.
So far so good.
Good luck in the new year everyone!
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[27 Nov 2006|08:36pm] |
Poetry critiques are getting intense...
but I can't help but be drawn to it.
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| eye opening sentiment |
[18 Nov 2006|05:04pm] |
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mood |
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 relaxed |
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music |
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Top Chef! |
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Heavenly Father, Help us remember that the jerk who cut us off in traffic last night is a single mother who worked nine hours that day and is rushing home to cook dinner, help with homework, do the laundry and spend a few precious moments with her children.
Help us to remember that the pierced, tattooed, disinterested young man who can't make change correctly is a worried 19-year-old college student, balancing his apprehension over final exams with his fear of not getting his student loans for next semester.
Remind us, Lord, that the scary looking bum, begging for money in the same spot every day (who really ought to get a job!) is a slave to addictions that we can only imagine in our worst nightmares.
Help us to remember that the old couple walking annoyingly slow through the store aisles and blocking our shopping progress are savoring this moment, knowing that, based on the biopsy report she got back last week, this will be the last year that they go shopping together.
Heavenly Father, remind us each day that, of all the gifts you give us, the greatest gift is love. It is not enough to share that love with those we hold dear, to open our hearts not to just those who are close to us, but to all humanity. Let us be slow to judge and quick to forgive, show patience, empathy and love.b
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| !!! |
[13 Nov 2006|09:07pm] |
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mood |
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 excited |
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music |
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Sabres game |
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My Shaun Patrick got accepted into UB!!!!!
I am SO proud of him!
Things are looking up...
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[02 Nov 2006|04:05pm] |
I'm ok, you're ok.
I'm not ok, you're not ok.
I'm ok, you're not ok.
I'm not ok, you're ok.
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[31 Oct 2006|02:03am] |
I had a perfect weekend.
And I will be living off of its high for as long as possible.
I could get used to this being happy thing...
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[14 Oct 2006|11:51am] |
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mood |
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refreshed |
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music |
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V for Vendetta |
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"I had roses. And I never apologized to anyone."
I am honestly speechless when it comes to describing this feeling. Alex had spoken to me about having his own earth shattering revelation. At the time, I nodded and listened to what he said, but I didn't fully understand how one piece of fiction could have such a profound effect on a person. I couldn't. I had to experience it myself. Well, out of circumstances that I don't feel like sharing, came my own revelation. My revelation isn't for all of you to know, or understand. But as of last night, I am a different person than when I woke up yesterday. It sounds dumb. But try not to judge things you don't understand.
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| some people make all the stressful things worth it |
[10 Oct 2006|10:16pm] |
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mood |
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grateful |
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music |
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"Hurt"~Christina Aguilera |
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Best friendship was redefined in my life this weekend.
I couldn't ask for a better best friend.
Thank you God for bringing him into my life.
And of course my boyfriend.
I am so lucky and sometimes I forget that.
I have an amazing person who loves me...
everything else are just the minor details that don't really matter in the end.
I hate, HATE being back here at Keuka.
But my life at home gives me something to work towards.
My light at the end of the tunnel shines from Buffalo and all the people that call it home.
I can do this.
I have to.
And fortunately, I am not doing it alone.
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| and reality sets in... |
[04 Oct 2006|01:04pm] |
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mood |
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resigned |
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music |
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"Life"~Our Lady Peace |
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"Everything changes eventually...that's just the way life is and you have no control over it. Like suddenly, people who you thought were always going to be there for you...they just disappear."
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| special day |
[17 Sep 2006|01:30pm] |
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mood |
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happy |
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music |
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Cruel Intentions |
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Happy 21st Birthday, Shaun Patrick!
I love you, baby.
p.s. Being home is the most amazing feeling in the world.
Boo Keuka.
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| I hate goodbyes. I think we need more hellos. |
[12 Aug 2006|01:47pm] |
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mood |
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 nostalgic |
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music |
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stand up comedy |
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Well I am officially done with work for this year. This year was harder to leave than last year. My students were really high functioning and I had so much fun with them. They were definitely challenging, but they were so worth it. I cried so much when I l was putting them on the busses. It really made me think about how quickly I get attached. It wasn't like I had only spent eight weeks with them. Saying bye to them was like losing a piece of myself. When does the line between teacher and family get blurry? Well I plan on staying in touch with them. I wrote down their birthdays so I can send them cards. Work was difficicult this summer...but I wouldn't trade it for anything.
I am really, really, REALLY not looking forward to going back to school. I am not ready to say goodbye to Shaun, my friends, my animals. This summer has been so amazing. I don't want it to end. But I guess all things have to at some point.
I have a difficult year ahead of me. Heather and I were talking about how difficult our classes are. Junior year is going to be intense. I think I can handle it...but I am nervus. I have also decided not to let certain people bother me. I mean obviously there are certain times where I won't be able to not be affected...but I won't let myself get down as much as I did last year. I am going to make the most of my college experience because I know it is a good time.
Well time to get ready to go to Shakespeare in the park. Everyone enjoy the rest of your summer. These are truly the best times of our lives.
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[12 Jul 2006|03:08pm] |
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mood |
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 frustrated |
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What's the point of talking if nobody ever listens?
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| These are growin' up times... |
[16 Jun 2006|10:59pm] |
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mood |
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cold |
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music |
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Meerkat Manor |
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It has been an interesting couple of weeks.
I started work at the Cantalician Center again. I was put in a new classroom. It is basically the exact opposite of the room I was in last year. My kids now are extremely high functioning and working on independence, a goal they usually achieve if not come very close to. I absolutely love my kids and my teachers are a blast to work with. I am learning a lot and once again work has turned out to be a great experience for me. This job has strengthened my desire to adopt a special education child. I can't wait.
Today was graduation day. It was definitely a sad day. The three students who graduated were definitely some of my favorites, especially Ricky. I cried at graduation. You see the kids learned all the sign language symbols for the song "You Raise Me Up" by Josh Groban. They performed it so well and if you could see the pride on their faces when they realized what they had accomplished. I was just blown away. It was cute, this one kid Terry Brown was like thirty seconds behind everyone else and was always looking to his friends to see what to do. I cried at the end of the day when they left too. I had only been with them for two short weeks, but I get attached very quickly and I know I will never forget them. They kissed and hugged me when they left, saying they loved me and that they would really miss me. I was definitely touched.
I had some problems at work with a boy though. There is this new guy who got hired. I could tell he was attracted to me but I wasn't interested in him. Regardless, he was someone my age which is a rare thing to find where I work. We got along well and I was glad to have made a friend. But then he made a physical pass on me. I felt so cornered, so pressured, so small. I told him that I couldn't, that I had a boyfriend. The whole thing really shook me. I called Shaun and I couldn't stop shaking. I know those of you who are reading this probably do not understand why it bothered me so much. Well I have never been in that posittion before. I have had verbal come ons...but never anything physical. I don't know. I just didn't like the feeling. It is so scary to wake up thinking you have a pretty good grasp on the world only to go to bed at the end of the day feeling as though you are that scared little girl from so long ago.
I don't get to go to Myrtle Beach because of work. I really don't want to tell you how upset I am about it. I look forward to one thing all year and I don't get to go. The only place I truly feel at peace is at the ocean and I don't get to go. And my parents keep talking about it. Like hi, remember me? The one ridiculously upset about not being able to go. Yeah well, fuck them. My family has been insufferable lately.
Group dynamics are shifting. I am not sure how I feel about all of it. Actually that isn't true at all. I know exactly how I feel about it. But for the sake of diplomacy, I am keeping my mouth shut about it.
On a positive note, I am finally with my baby. This no car until 9:30 pm blows. But we just have to deal I suppose. We are gonna watch Meerkat Manor. Until next time folks.
I love you, baby.
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[27 May 2006|07:27pm] |
Operation Robot has begun today.
Let's see how long I can keep this up.
Something tells me a lot of things are depending on my ability to.
This doesn't really matter to anyone. But I needed the date recorded and this is the best way to do it.
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| alright, alright...I can take a hint. |
[21 May 2006|12:00pm] |
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mood |
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complacent |
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music |
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"King of Wishful Thinking"~Go West |
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Dear Alicia,
Here is your horoscope
for Saturday, May 20:
Train yourself to feel compassion for all beings. After all, if you can select who you feel sympathy for, it's not compassion -- it's simply judgment wearing a disguise. Your karma will improve immensely.
I really hate when my horoscopes fit and make it so I have to do something I'd rather not. Damnit all. Well wish me luck with this then.
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