Natalie's Blurty
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Below are the 16 most recent journal entries recorded in Natalie's Blurty:

    Monday, July 28th, 2003
    10:02 am
    Hello, again, after so long. Where is Erik? What ever happened to him? Ahmed is back at college (uni, haha) and I will be going back to school in two days. Ryanne and Twyla are in homeschool now and are together at a Christian camp. Having had their peircings. I am so envious. I want to see them both. I miss Ryanne and am jealous of her. lol, jk, but she is so lucky. I want to go to Florida to see her. Maybe next summer. Well, I g2g, bye.

    Current Mood: sad
    Current Music: Melancholy Madness mix cd
    Thursday, June 19th, 2003
    3:47 pm
    Haha, I'm looking at pictures again. "Happiness Is A Warm Gun" by the amazing, beautiful Beatles. Ahhh! Awesome! GUUUUUNNN! I love it! "While My Guitar Gently Weeps" by the Beatles. I love you! "I Want You So Bad" by the Beatles. "Still Fly" by Big Tymers. Eminem, lots of Eminem. I don't trust many people to read you. Not Erik, Mrs. Debra, Twyla, Kayla, not many at all. "CRAZY"
    Tuesday, June 17th, 2003
    4:29 pm
    I was talking to Ahmed and he didn't say anything for a while and then signed off. Ahhh, sadness. "Top of the World" by Dixie Chicks. I'm so sad sometimes. I'm scared. Of dying. Of everything. "I Believe in Love" by Dixie Chicks. Good melancholy song. "You Were Mine" by Dixie Chicks. So sad. I'm going to reply to Mrs. Debra's e-mail. I hope. Bye!

    Current Mood: sad and melancholy
    Current Music: Dixie Chicks
    10:49 am
    dancing Nat
    My sister is being so rude. I wanted cereal so I got it out and she took the last of the milk and said "Uh-aw, what the hell do you think you're doing" and being rude to me. All she is worried about is herself and her being hungry. She told me that she didn't even want cereal because she said the kind mom bought was nasty. Mom was being nice to buy it for her. I mean, it's Captain Crunch. If I wasn't eating my Golden Grahams I would be eating the Captain Crunch, and I'm a snob when it comes to anything you buy. But I'm not a peculiar snob when it comes to cereal, myself. I used to eat Brontasaurus Blasts, and it is a BAG cereal. But I think it's better than Fruity Pebbles myself, and that's the name brand. lol, Why am I talking about cereal? Ummm.... I will say this: Lucky Charms and Banana Nut Crunch are my all-time favs and my current favorite is Golden Grahams. LOL, as if you care, right? haha. Ahhh, I love blackberries and raspberries. I love pasta with shrimp, preferably with a pomadora sauce. A good alfredo is ok, too. The best pasta I probably ever had was the shrimp pasta with a great pomadora sauce in Shiva's 2 in the Wyndam Baltimore in, duh, Baltimore. It was a-maz-ing. I would like to go back. And I had a custard there which was so good I almost want to go back to Baltimore just for one of those. It was that good. LOL, Why am I talking about food?!? lol, but TGIFridays is amazing, it is my favorite restaurant. A good salad, (just lettuce, with a great, cold Ranch sauce is one of my favorite foods. I make a salad with just Romaine lettuce and cut-up carrot sticks (simple, the way I like it) and I love it.) Restaurants like TGIFRidays, O'Charley's, and Tripp's make a great salad, just the way I like it. And the Carolina Roadhouse. Yum. lol, I'm in awe that I'm talking about this much about food. I don't even like to eat that much. This is my "Talk About Food" entry. lol. I'm thirsty again. Now I have Diet Pepsi. Yum. I told my sister that she could have some of my Spaghetti O's and she said "I know". And I bought her some of the Au Graten potatoes she likes and she isn't the least bit grateful. Geez. Grateful Dead. It's good. I can't listen to my music now because my sister is here and she won't let me. AHHHHHHHHH! Makes me so mad. It's not fair. I love bluegrass. I love "Shine" by dolly Parton. It is probably my favorite song. "I'm Just A Girl" by No Doubt is on. I love it. Dance, dance, dance, dancing, yay, screaming glory! lol! Had to express my little bit of ecstacy. Now it's "Don't Speak" by No Doubt. It's so good. So sad. I love life sometimes. Luke is the hottest guy who ever liked me. Probably. I embarrased myself in front of Luke. I tripped on the stairs and he was behind me and caught me. hahahahaha. lol. Hehe, he is so nice, too. I miss Twyla. So much. I don't want to go out with Luke, so much, he is not really my type. But he is really cute. He had lots of pretty girls after him, too. And he chose me! Shining glory! lol, but that's all in the past. But I don't so much miss the Luke thing. I need to take a shower. Bye!
    Monday, June 16th, 2003
    10:15 pm
    Monday late night
    I want to go around town, but my dad doesn't want me to. I said "You let Scott do it at 14" and he said "Yes, but it is a big difference between a 14-year-old boy and a 14-year-old girl. Well, OK, dad, but I want to. I went to the library by myself and it was fine. Why is he worried about my safety? I came over to my mom's with my dad to eat dinner. I want to see "Insomniac". I'm thirsty. lol.I want those A&F clothes, but they are sold out. I should be getting my babysitting money sometime soon. I think I am going to buy that Victoria's Secret stuff. I love Victoria's Secret. The bras are wonderful. I want the "Pink" body lotion, the "Body" by Victoria body scrub, and the "So Sexy" perfume. I got to go now. My dad is freakin out at me. Bye!

    Current Mood: jealous and melancholy
    5:32 pm
    I love this song. Just talked to Kelly (mom's friend) and wrote Mrs. Debra an email. Where is Ahmed? Where is Erik? I wish one of them was online right now. Oh, Sadness. Mrs. Debra wanted my blurty screenname but I didn't give it to her. I didn't want her to see my bad language. I was listening to Dixie Chick's "Top of the World". It is good. I love them. Dixie Chicks are the greatest. I can't tell that to Mrs. Debra. She likes Bush, and is probably not happy (at all) with what they said. Ah, sadness. It is lonely right now. Nothing but sad music to seranade me. I miss Twyla. Mrs. Debra said she was gone, and she is probably with Ryanne. This song is beautiful. But sad. AAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH, so sad. Painfully sad. But I'm used to sadness. It has been with me so long. Most of my life. I wish I still had a beautiful singing voice. I miss Erik. Where is he? He hasn't been on. Oh, well. Oh, if only you knew! IF ONLY YOU KNEW. AAAHHHH, I wish I could tell you. Where is Ahmed? But alas, he is on. He didn't im me. :( Ahhh, so sad. Ahmed isn't saying anything. Yay! I'm listening to "There's Your Trouble". JaSoN hIlLaRy, I hate you! -NaTaLie rAe I was listening to Leann Rhymes's "I Need You" when I thought "I'm going to die. Everyone is going to die. No matter what we do in life, we are all going to do one thing: die." Scary. I'm scared to die. I like existing. I hope. I g2g home! Bye!
    12:03 pm
    Monday morning
    Monday morning. Ahhhhhh. I need to write Twyla. I should call Kayla. I don't know if that's ok. but I hope. I think I will just try to talk to her on the computer. For now. I hope we can reconsile soon our anger at each other for the Justin thing. It is not fair that my friendship had to suffer because of me going out with Justin. Maybe I shouldn't have gone out with him. Hmmmm. Controversial subject. But I miss my friendship with Kayla and it should have never turned out this way. I miss her. She was cool. I should have not hung out with the boys in the class so much. But I was tired of the situation with the girls since it was so catty. And Emily should have never said the harsh things about me that she did. I would never say those horrible things about her. And the amazing thing is, I was so nice to her. And she ended up hating me for some reason anyways. Why? I liked her, too. What did I ever do to her? WAAAHHHHH! But who cares? I like Kayla, but not Emily. Jennifer is OK. She was one of the nicer ones. I guess. I don't know what she said behind my back. But with the going out with Justin thing, I didn't know better. I should have though. It is hard to deny going out with someone you love. Or think you love. I hope Kayla did well on her Science and History. I think I'm going to go eat. OK, I did. And I watched some of that stupid show Punk'd. It is pretty dumb. I'm listening to the beautiful Beatles. I love the Beatles! SO MUCH! Don't want to jinx it. But they are amazing. I think I'm going to refer Erik to some songs. Like "Hard Day's Night" and Happiness Is a Warm Gun" and "Dirrty" and "Crazy" and "Come Together" and "I Want You So Bad". I think I will tell him to listen to "I Want You So Bad". My song to him. lol. And "I'm Just a Girl"! I love that song! YEAH! "Don't Speak" is good. I'm listening to it now. It is sad. It reminds me of Justin. :( Ahhhhh! "Don't tell me cause it hurts!" (lyric) It so reminds me of him! It is SO sad! Whoa, too much "so". LOL! I'm listening to "Bathwater" by No Doubt. Now "Hella Good". It IS hella good! lol, I'm being a dork. lol. But it is. Jason is probably in Pennsylvania right now. Better for me. Scatto stupido! (Italian for stupid jerk). lol. Now "Underneath It All". Better! Better! Better! Gwen Stefani is lucky to have Gavin Rossdale. Yeah! He's British, too. I'm wearing my beautiful trusty mini. It is so cool. It is the wide-band mini. I forget what it is called. It is really cool. It is my favorite. I want more. Maybe I can get more money from like babysitting. I want more clothes. I also want a plane ticket to London. The lead singer of Lillix is pretty. Real pretty. I'm jealous. lol. :) But some of it is probably airbrush. I want more gym clothes. I think I want some gym athletic tanks. Maybe I could get one from Abercrombie Gym Issue. Hot! I like the racerback tank. I also want one of those cotton minis that are made from like what the gym shorts are made of. They are becoming all the rage now. I want one so bad! I get babysitting money today, I could probably buy one with that money. I want more money. My mom won't buy me any more clothes right now because I spent so much last time. I can so easily spend $300 with ease in one store, then $200 in another, and $150- 250 on my makeup, and I keep going. I am a big spender. Sad, but true. lol. hahahahaha. I need to ask Erik what his e-mail address is. I keep forgetting to. Maybe I will let him read you, diary. Maybe. I'm not sure. I love babies. I better go shower. Bye!

    Current Mood: melancholy
    Current Music: Beatles and No Doubt
    Sunday, June 15th, 2003
    11:54 am
    Hahooooo! AAHHHHHH YEAH!
    Damn, i just watched the video for "Dirrty" and it is so hot! I have to give her props! AAAAAHHHHHHH YEAH! It gives me a screamingly great high. :D hothothothothothot. lol. No wonder people like her so! But on the red carpet, her style is sadly way trashy. But dirrty is awesome! Eeeewwwwweeeeeee! Wow. I'm still on a high ;D. Yeah, baby! It is like my favorite song now.

    Current Mood: ecstatic
    Current Music: ;D
    11:39 am
    I love "Dirty" by Christina Aguilera! IT IS SO HOT! So is the video! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Current Mood: dancing ecstacy
    Current Music: "Dirty" by Christina Aguilera!
    10:35 am
    to thyne own self be true
    Where is Shane? Ahhh, they should be here by now. Ahhalalalalala :D. Happiness. lol. I wish somebody was online. :D Really. "Crazy" again. Awww. I love this amazing song so much! Please baby won't you stay? I think about this crazy day. Daydream about you baby. I'm goin crazy, crazy, crazy, just thinkin about you lately. I'm goin crazy, crazy, crazy thinkin about you, baby. Crazy, crazy, crazy. Thinkin about how I can't hold you baby. You are my true love. I can't live without you so don't leave me BABY! Im goin crazy thinkin about how I cant touch you baby. If I could only see you again. I'm going crazy. lol had to write some of the lyrics down. It is so sad. I LOVE IT! DAMN! YAY:D! AWWW! I miss Mr. Fauler already. Awwww. He was a great teacher. I miss him! i think I am going to go visit him. Erik is so sweet to me. Ahhhhh, love. ;D I'm listening to "All My Life" by KC and Jo Jo now. It is good, too. Not as good as crazy but still damn good. Yay! Ahmed is really nice too. I love them. lol. Where is Shane? Oh, here he is. I need to shower. Bye!
    9:58 am
    AHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It just deleted all that stuff I wrote! Argh AHHHHHHHHHHH! I want ice cream. And I want back what I wrote. It was good, too. Now I am a very unhappy girl. WAAAHHHHH! I talked about how I never thought I would like a boy from the Netherlands. Holland. Dutch. But I do ;D. LOL. I ate so much last night. Man. I had chips, and hot dog buns with mustard. I decided I didn't want the tofu hot dog just the bun with mustard. It was good, too. Ooooooooooohhhhhhhwwwwwweeee! Lol. I should stop. Oooops. I got ice cream on the keyboard. Geez. And it said how Ahmed was going to read you, diary. I wonder if he has yet. Lol. I get happy on the computer sometimes. Most of the time. I'm not sure why. I need to write to Mrs. Debra. I better do that now. Bye, diary!
    Saturday, June 14th, 2003
    6:26 pm
    Happy joyousness, but melancholy madness overtakes my heart
    Just finished talking to Ahmed. I'm listening to "Crazy" again. I love it! I want children. I want love. I so much want to grow up and have children. Beautiful, beautiful children. I want to create life. Lead my children through life. I want to get married and have kids. I have been thinking of this lately. If I go into psychiatry, how will I have enough time for my kids? Your children are very important. But so is having enough money to raise them well. I want a husband with compatible genes and (very important!) intelligence. Did I mention intelligence? I can't say that enough. Intelligence, a nice(as in friendly and outgoing) personality, and healthy, compatible genes. British would be nice ;D. I decided I want LOTS of kids. I want some girls, and some boys. I like the names Carrie, Kelly, Savatri, Parminder, Ava, Hermione, Lavender, Landon, Scott, Keiran, etc. I especially love Carrie, Kelly, and definitely Savatri (nicknamed Savi). Also Ava is nice. Kayla's middle name is Marie Storm. It's great. Mine's Rae. Natalie Rae. Natty Rae. My dad calls me Natty Rat. lol. I don't even resemble a rat. I don't know how that one started. Maybe I should post some pictures on here. But I don't have a scanner. There is this guy Mark who is gorgey. Fit lad. lol. British slang. He is really cute. And he plays soccer. I should start a seperate journal where I talk about even more secret things. Like a journal that is not open to the public. That girl Mallory off Real World Paris is really pretty. She is beautiful. I want a diamond necklace. I think I may buy one. I wish I knew where my tri-diamond and opal necklace is. I miss it. Then i wouldn't have to buy another one. Ahhh, sadness. Why is it that this journal isn't in chronological order? Like the stuff I wrote last night is at the bottom of the page and the most recently written stuff is at the top. Sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, ooooooh yeahyeahyeahyeah. Lol, just got that in my head. It's like one minute I'm sad and the next I'm happy. That's the way I am on the computer especially with this journal. I had my dad come pick me up, so I'm gonna go home. I would like to stay here, but not alone. He is pestering, so, sorry, journal... Until tomorrow. Bye!
    4:45 pm
    Argh. I want to go to a movie. I think I may. It IS Saturday. Haha, I miss Kayla. I hope she gets online. Waht movie do I want to see? Hmmm... maybe Finding Nemo. Maybe something else. I want to rent Austin Powers in Goldmember. Dude, is Goldmember Dutch? *hehe :D* I could watch "Fried Green Tomatoes". I LOVE THAT MOVIE! Ahh, I got attacked by a cricket today! HAhaHahAhAHAAHAHEHA! And I didn't scream. Weird. It just jumped at me. Geez, am I stupid? PROBABLY. I want to go to a movie! ARGH! Beloved baby Davie could take me. But I don't know what he's doing right now. I sort of want somebody to read this, but I'm not so sure. Make a point of me typing out this much. I don't want Erik to read this and see my bad language. By the way Beloved baby Davie is my Dad. I call him that, ummm, I'm not sure why exactly, but because he is my beloved father and he reminds me of a baby sometimes. So I joke with him and gave him the nickname. My dad is the coolest. Usually. But he is poor. lol. He has nowhere near as much moey as my mom. But his house is like 3 times bigger. I live with him most of the time, except when I want to hang with my mom or use the computer. Our computer at my Dad's house is broken. What is up with me and the computer lately. For like the last 2 or 3 weeks I have been doing a lot on the computer. I am enjoying it, myself. I am so happy sometimes just doing whatever makes me feel happy. For now that is hanging out doing nothing. I have had little contact with my friends. I am missing them some. I think I will call Kayla. Or e-mail Twyla. I better do that now. I want to call Kelly. OK, email Twyla and Mrs. Debra, call Kelly, and rent Goldmember. OK. hopefully, that will work out. Pale is pretty. Tan is pretty. It's all pretty. Why does it matter? I think it's all beautiful. I feel bad that I didn't tell Erik how to spell beautiful. But I thought him saying beutifyull was cute. sorry, Erik! Lol, I like him A LOT. Where is he? Someone just signed online and I thought it was Erik. It was Justin. Dissapointment. Ahhh, :(. My song for Jason (one of them) is now my song for Erik. It is Crazy by KC and Jo Jo. What a great song! For you, Erik, my love. Haha, I'm stupid. I think I am going to start a collection of songs for Erik. Ahh, this song reminds me of Justin. It is "I need you" by Leanne Rhymes. I love her music. love Simon. I love Simon. Yeay! that was a Southern 'yay'. Man, I am SO uninteresting. LOL. I haven't talked to Erik in like 2 days straight. :(. Shane won't leave me alone. He keeps reading my diary (screen). I LOVE HARRY POTTER. I love Harry Potter more than any other boy. He is my dream guy. By far. My dream guys are Harry Potter, David Beckham, Erik, and Paul McCartney. I love them! No, Daniel Lerner is definitely NOT one of my dream guys. I heard he cried when someone got ketchup on his expensive jacket. ?!?. What the hell?!? Why? But he's still the cutest guy in Raeford. He beats out Josh Smith, by far. Crazy is on. Earth moving. I love it. It makes me want to cry. I love you, Jason.... NO! I can't say that. I don't have feelings for him anymore. He is ABUSIVE! I want to go back to seventh grade. Ahhh, *cry* Man, that song reminded me of Jason. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. It is so sad. I am so sad now. Yay! Ahmed is on! I love talking to him! Bye!

    Current Mood: reminiscent argh
    1:52 pm
    afternoon, man im bored
    went to supermarket. What I was saying before was that Melissa invited me to her birthday party. She is a girl that I met that doesn't have very much money, and she is super sweet. I took her to the mall and bought her loads of expensive clothes. We also took her out to dinner at a nice restaurant. Me and my mom are helping her out. Sharing the wealth. It is one of the most important things in life if you have the money. I have a lot of expensive clothes myself, and I love to make sure she has enough clothes. She is nice. I would love to go to her birthday party and meet her friends. Awww. I went to the library last week, and I saw, yep, Victoria and Jenny. We waved at each other, but they were busy talking to some woman in the back room. The one with the glass wall separating it from the public part. Victoria and Jenny are very popular. Victoria gave me her phone number to call her, but, for some reason I didn't. I probably should. Victoria is really nice, and now so is Jenny. But before I didn't like Jenny as much. Too argumenative. Me and Jenny are going to Hoke next year. Hoke is what we call Hoke County High School, which is where I'm going next year. Yay! Mwhahahaha, kk just said she was going to im Justin and cuss him out. LOL LOL lol lol... you get the jist. Don't think I just said jis, I said jist, lol. Where the hell is kk? She said brb, not bye. I got this really cute picture of a British guy named Gareth. I love Real World Paris and True Life. They are the best MTV shows. I'm gonna go outside! Bye!

    Current Mood: and kind of happy
    Current Music: Ludacris "You's a hoe"
    11:31 am
    Saturday morning
    Babysitting. Mom has some guy named Jon over to work on the lawn. He is ok. I haven't gotten to see much of him. But Erik is not on. :( Damn, I love talking to him. I am so much happier when I am talking to him, lol. He is so much more special than the guys here. He makes me happy, which is hard to find, haha, eh? Let's see, Daniel Lerner or Erik? lol, Daniel is so cute, hot, bejesus, but Erik is like totally awesome. Plus, Daniel Lerner is superficial and has like 5 girlfriends, lol, (go Daniel, but you don't have that special something to make me like you!) He takes himself too seriously. Erik, on the other hand, doesn't. Yay. And he's European! Ahhh, yes. It's too bad he's over the computer. I never thought I would like a guy on the computer. Man, but I do. And Ahmed is nice, but I don't exactly like him like that. He is also much too old. But I definitely like talkin to him too. He is very intelligent, which is one of the biggest pluses you can have. I love that name, Erik, like Eric with a k. It is great. Shane just came in and asked me to find him a bucket. I think I'm gonna go outside to play with him and that girl Deanna. I'm the cool babysitter, yeah! He tells me all the time. Ahh yay! I brought in some flowers from outside. They are so pretty. I put them by the computer to look at them as I type this. Life is beautiful. This is what Erik told me. He must be really optimistic. Which is a good thing. His non-negative attitude is great. This is like my "talk-about-Erik" entry. lol I just started dancing a little. Haha, crazy girl, nananananana. Sweetness, sweetness, sweetness. I am wearing my A&F belted cut-off worn-in-looking skirt. It looks different than it sounds. It is pretty. I'm wearing my turqoise blue halter, top, yay! Shane said, "You look nice, Natalie!" And "You smell good, Natalie" lol Little Shane may have a little crush on me still. He used to. When he spent the night, he wanted to sleep in my bed instead of the guest bed. Like, with me! I was thinking "Hell, no" but I pleasantly told him I would stay in the guest bedroom until he would fall asleep. So I did. While I was in there, I read "The Divine Sectrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood." It is hard to believe that was last summer. Last summer was great! I took a plane trip to Maine to be my sister's bridesmaid, I became friends with Twyla, I became friends with Kay, I started reading Lucky. I miss Twyla so much, man. I need to e-mail her. She is like one of the best friends I've ever had. At least lately. She is such a great person. I haven't been talking to Emily Huffman, Kayla (kk) (I love you!), Jordan (jordan's flaky but awesome. but all she talks about is boys and makeup. I need more interesting things than that. I talked about politics for like a straight hour and all she said was " Well, that's nice, but all I think is that Bush is great and we should help only the homeless people in America." What the Hell!?! C'mon, Jordan, you have to be better than that. But she is so nice. At least she tries to come off that way.) Jennifer is pretty cool, and I like the way she didn't judge me as much during the Justin thing. But she was the one who told me that they were mad at me because of the infamous Justin thing. Ahhh! Why? All I did was go out with someone Kayla liked, who happened to be MY best friend of 3 friggin years! I loved him , too. At least I thought I did. But, really, I loved him in such a grown-up way. Like love-of-your-life way. So deeply and madly. It was like he loved me when he thought he had no chance with me, but when I recognized his love, I fell in love with him. But when he had my love, he didn't know what to do, so he freaked out and broke things off. It took me so long to get over that. But I made my way through that heartbreak, somehow. My life has been one big heartbreak, sweety. That's Natalie for you. People can't tell that I get sad, but the stuff I deal with is awful. Just when I was starting to make my way out of that Justin heartbreak, I met Erik. He had no idea the situations I had just gone through, but that's because I didn't tell him. Hehe. I don't want to tell him about my problems, that would be bad. I keep having dreams about two things, Harry Potter and Justin. They were in my dream again last night. Midsummer Night's Dream, baby! I dreamed that I was casually talking to Justin. Maybe I should call him. No, Natalie. A part of me wants to call him, but another part of me wants to just forget about him. Ahhh, *weep*. It may be better if I just forget about him, but the part of me that wants to call him wants to have back that friendship. That, lovely, important, friendship. I mean, he told me he wanted to be friends, but he had just changed so much. And then he met, Mandy, from Cleveland, over the computer. He was so into that world that he did the "more fish in the sea" thing and got rude to me. Jerk! Ahh, he just got online! I hope Erik comes on. I sound, like, dramatic, in this entry, like, Ahhh, *sob*, my problems are so horrible! But I'm not really saying that. It's these people, they are so rude, and by the way, I'm tired of being stereotyped as an "ugly American" because of the way these morons act. Like the way I know French people don't like us. I hate the people who think that just because they're pretty they can be mean. Argh! Ignorance, I tell ya. Oh, yeah, I also dreamed about going around Europe and to Holland. Haha. I want to go to Europe bad. It just interest me so much. I'm tired of America. Melissa wants me to go to her birthday party! Cool, yay! I g2g to the supermarket, we need food here, lol. Bye!
    Friday, June 13th, 2003
    10:39 pm
    friday night, stuck at home again, night before sucky babysitting, argh. Want to see insomniac! damn. maybe this journal is a bad idea, Francheska, fatbaby, sugarmuffin. Warm me up, Scotty! MMM... Peanut butter! that one's for you Neill! Fuck you Beth! You're my bitch, no YOU'RE MY bitch, kk! haha, had to let out a few inside jokes, make it feel more homey. lol. hahoo! i love British people. I have to decide what to do with my babysitting money. I think I'm gonna buy clothes or save up for a plane ticket to London. I love talking to Hollandguy, dutchboy, Erik. I am so paranoid, jesus! Wanda Sykes is so damn hilarious! The new guy Simon on the Real World Paris is so hot, too bad he is gay. Ahhh. That sucks! Daniel Lerner is so hot, damn. OK, I think I'm going to have to mention David Beckham. He is absolutely, er, as they say in the UK, gorgey. eek, i better stop! I want the new J&J Softwash body wash. I think I am going to go buy it tomorrow, at the stupid but sometimes wonderous Wal*Mart. I am becoming more and more aware of airbrushing for tv and magazines. Jason, you're pretty hot, but you are SUCH AN IDIOT/ASSHOLE! AHHHHHHH! Go fuck yourself, jerk-off! that's redundant, eh? I mean, we had some good times, but you're flaky as hell. And you gave me more bruises than I've ever gotten. Sorry, folks, had to fume. I think I am going to go, my journal is probably pretty bad. Haha! Bye!

    Current Music: Salt-n-Pepa "Push It", Beatle's "Happiness Is a Warm Gun"