||someone to die for
Dear You, sweet sweet sweet perfect you,
I missed you do damn much today.
I went to the movies with Alyssa Samantha and Bailey to see Spiderman 2.
Guess what theatre we got?
Yup. The one with the hole in the ceiling that looked like Africa. AHHH.
From the perfect saturday. from pefect september. from the best day of my entire fucking life.
We even sat in the same exact same seats.
I almost felt your hand on mine.
I feel like rambling. I'm going to talk about that perfect saturday.
Well, I remember my mom drove sam and I to Erics house,where I saw you dancing in the street like a monkey. Lol. You wanted to make sure we knew which house since I'd never been to eric's house before. lol. you looked soooo cute.
Then we got to the movies. It was Dickie Roberts. We came running up the stairs and eric screamed,
IS ANYONE IN HEAR?!?! on the tup of his lungs....lol and there was someone in there. anyway i remember before the movie we were arguing about the hole in celing and how much it resembled africa...and then we were hiding from fat dan and jessica...because they said they were going to that movie too. we kept hiding under the seats and screaming boo whenever somebody came in...even when it wasnt them lol. then we saw that annoying boy from the pool that kept asking me where he knew me from last year...loll...SOOOO ANNOYING.
ahhh that movie was so funny (lol...nucking futs! aren't you a little big for a stoller? lol arent you a little big for a side walk?? LOL LOL LOL.) and i remember eric kept laughing at parts that werent funny and you said really loudly during a really sad part,
THAT REALLY DOES LOOK LIKE AFRICA!!!!!!!!!!
lol. then you held my hand during the romantic part. it was warm.
i liked it. <3
anyway...after the movie was sooo much fun. we wandered around westfield all day and i swear you couldnt go 2 seconds without holding my hand or putting your arm around me.
1. when you were running up and down the isles of k-b toys like a little boy lol
2. the silly string!!
3. when you guys lost me and you started calling my name and convinced this little boy i was a lost dog..and you ran a whole 2 blocks just to find me :-)))))))
4. we got smoothies...but you didnt like yours
5. we got gir!! i loved gir....but you didnt lol.
6. i put that lotion on my hands in trader joes and then i was upsett it wasnt cream cheese lol
7. we hung out at the gas station. lol. you told me you never wanted the day to end.
then afterwards we went back to samanthas house and tried to ride her two-seater bike. AHAHA. that went over like a lead balloon. you tried to kill gir a lot too....lol you and eric kept teasing me!!! meanies lol. but at least we got pizza :-D
but even though all of the above was so much freaking fun, my favorite part of the whole entire part was later in the evening when we all put our feet in samanthas jacuzzi and just talked (lol, go rubber ducks!! teehee...hey IS THIS JACUZZI CHANGING COLORS?!*...one hour later...* OMG! SAMANTHAS JACUZZI CHANGES COLORS!!). we talked about our lives. we talked about our secrets. we talked about our dreams. we talked about the future and past. we talked about eachother.
we made a promise to be best friends forever.
we said when we get older we're going to buy a house together and live there forever.
i liked the game we played ...teehee, the one where you go around and say 1 thing you like about each person and one you dont. lol, you told me you didnt like when i ran off with inanimate objects but loved my smile...awww...and i said there was nothing i didnt like about you, and i liked everything about you because you were perfect. :-)
then i remember this one part for some strange reason when i was looking up at the stars, wishing the night would neever end, when samantha and eric started hysterically laughing. i thought it was me...but eric said:
"Oh my god that was so funny...you were gazing up at the stars and nick was gazing up at you."
You blushed, but then were like:
"Guys, could you look away for a minute?" They sighed but did anyway.
And you kissed me and held me the whole night.
And then when we were on the hammock and all looking up at the stars, talking about what happens after life and where the universe ends and all the deep stuff, you held me too. and then you told sam and eric to go in the back for a second. i was so excited...i didnt know what you were planning.
you looked at me and said,
"Gabbie, I just want you to know, no matter what you think, I think you're beautiful." (Because I had previosuly said that night that I thought I was ugly and stuff.)
"Thanks," I sighed. "No one has ever told me that before."
"Well I just wanted you to know, you're beautiful."
I smiled and kissed you. It was a magical kiss. We didnt do the whole tongue thing yet, but it was perfect. Sam and Eric snuck up on us because they thought we'd be making out, but nope. It was perfect the way it was.
And you held my hand the whole way back to your house when my mom drove you home.
And you kissed my forehead and said good-bye.
And I think I floated the whole way home.
And thats the end of the greatest day ever.
Don't you miss the good old days?
How can you sleep at night when you think about what you did to us?
Do you even think about it??
I think thinking is something you should do more of. Even though there has never been a gray area for you, Nick. Something either is, or it isn't. You always have all the answers.
Or so you think.
I know you'll be sorry soon.
You'll miss us when they ignore you.
you'll miss us when you find they really dont give a damn how you feel.
You'll miss me when you find you threw away the only love you've ever had.
You'll miss Nick,
when you realize you threw yourself away.
You tried so hard to be someone, that you fogot who you are.
You tried to fill some emptiness, that all you had spilled over.
You tried to go find yourself, and now you don't know where you are.
You wanted all of that, and now that you have it, doesn't seem like much to hold on too, huh? No. Didnt think so.
I'm sorry things how to end this way. I just wish you'd come home. I miss you. The real you. Don't be afraid to come home. We promised to love you forever, and we do.
We're just worried about you.
We don't want you to do something dumb.
I'd die for you(even though those cyncial smiles kill me already), and you know that.
Bye bye beautiful,
sincerely yours forever,