Nikki's Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar]

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The last 3 days [16 Nov 2003|12:54pm]
[ mood | happy ]
[ music | Limp Bizkit "Indigo Flow" ]

I met #2 and Laura at Kyles house, from there we went to try and get Linds... she had work to do so she couldn't come... but believe me, we tried, I tried... so we left without her and went back to Kyles house to meet Nick and Fallyn... we went all went inside and got situated, then we all (( Me, #2, Nick, Fallyn, Kyle, and Laura)) piled into #2,s car... #2 and Kyle in the front, Laura on my lap in the back and Fallyn and Nick in the back

We got to blockbuster and I saw Paula ((YAY!)) I havent seen Paula in like 2 years, we used to be *really* good friends... so we talked fr a few while the rest of the gang picked out some movies ((8 crazy nights, House of 1000 corpses, and Night Stalker))
We left blockbuster and Laura and I made Nick go buy us Ciggarettes while we went to Subway with Fallyn

So then we all left and went back to Kyles house and, surprise surprise -- Linds was there ^_^
She quit her job to come hang out with us ^_^
it was really nice that she did that, but it made me feel kinda bad... but its ok... it was nice

So we watched Nightstalker -- it was horrible, but everyones commentary was NICE... it was really funny...
Nick and Fallyn got one bed while, Laura, Kyle, #2, Linds and I squeezed on the other... it was fun...

So then Fallyn and Nick left, they took Linds home too

Kyle, Laura, #2 and I hung out a little more and watched some of 8 crazy nights
Then #2, Laura and I left... #2 took me home

after school Kyle, #2, Linds and I went to go see Brother Bear in Annapolis... it was good ^_^
Kyle and Linds werent thrilled to see it, but #2 and I were ^_^
After the movie we left, traffic was kinda bad
So we were in the car longer than expected, but thats Ok....

We went and picked up Laura on the way to my house where we all finally ended up
Laura and #2 went down the road to #2's house to get more blankets and shit..

While they were gone Kyle and I played Soul Calliber II and he won, in the end it was like 9-4 or something.... damn him!
Anyway... #2 and Laura got back and we got sleeping arrangements figured out ((I gave up my bed to #2 and Kyle, but thats ok))
We watched 8 Crazy Nights, it was hilarious
For the most part it was just a really snuggly night, which was really nice...
After that we watched house of 1000 corpses, and it didnt make any sense what-so-ever!!
But who cares about the movie right? :-p
Then I put in the Craft and well... no one really watched that either but who cares...

I think we all ended up goingto bed at like 1 a.m. but didnt actually go to sleep til about 3 a.m. ^_^
Laura was the first pass out, Kyle and #2 followed soon after and Linds and I finally fell out sometime there later

Kyle and I woke up first and we're both morning people, so we annoyed everyone with our awakeness
We played some Atari shit while everyone else was like "eh... why are we awake" ((it was like 8 a.m.))
sometime around 9 I think... we all went to Dennys and ate breakfast... it was just alot of fun

We all seperated after that for a few, #2 and Laura went to #2's to shower and shit so we could go out... we got Kyle and Linds to their housed to get ready... #2 and I went to Laura s for a bit before goingto pick up Kyle and Linds... Nick and Fallyn came over to Lauras where we all were ((so now its Nick, Fallyn, Me, Linds, #2, Kyle and Laura)) we *all* squeezed onto one bed to watch A Clockwork Orange... it didnt last long... maybe an hour before Linds had to go home to eat dinner ((her g'ma is staying there for awhile so she had to go eat with the fam))
We all once again migrated from there...
#2, Laura, Kyle and I met Nick and Fallyn at K-mart... we just kinda skipped around for a bit before leaving there and meeting back at Wendys... where we kept getting looks from some old people... anyway... before we left I spelled out 'FUCK U' in salt...
We went and rescued Linds before going to Nick's house to meet up with Nick and Fallyn...
Nick has the nicest house... it was really cool... We just hung out there for awhile, talked and Nick, Fallyn and Kyle played Halo for awhile... Fallyn likes to hop across the screen apparently... it was cool
Fallyn and Nick make a cute couple ^_^
Eventually, Linds had to leave so Fallyn took her home
Not too much after that #2, Laura and I left... they brought me home at like midnight and I pretty much went right to sleep...
I woke up at like 11 a.m. and cleaned and did some laundry, and now here I am blogging... so thats my weekend... I doubt I am gonna do anything today because I need some sleep and relaxation and whatnot

In conclusion... I love Linds ^_^
and yeah some future shit worrys me, but I won't worry about that right now because I'm in love and it'll all work out, because I want it to

Try It

Well Thats Nifty [03 Nov 2003|05:52pm]
[ mood | relieved ]
[ music | Buffy the vampire slayer theme song ]

Well I was put into a potentially bad sitch today -- but lets not get ahead of ourselves ok...

I woke up at about 9:30 this morning and screwed around, fixing computers and such for Jaime...
My ears hate me right about now btw but whatever

My mom finally came and got me at around 10:45 and I ended up in school at around 12:15

I went to school and I went to lunch for a few to say howdy to Kimmy and gang...

I really didn't do much in school today seeing as I wasnt there for long

I finally got to see Linds, and it's a good thing--I missed her *pout*

I got to just stand around with her, Sarah and Sean for like 15 minutes... niceness

Anyway... I came home and went out with Kiley for a few just to talk and stuff

WELL -- I came home to an odd car in my driveway... I was like "Who the fuck drives a god damn Blue dodge?"

Well guess who drives a blue dodge? You guessed it... Britt does... er
I went inside and she was chatting it up with my mom... my mom likes her apparently... how odd

So anyway... I didn't want to be rude to her ya know... especially around my mom.... so I just go upstairs and Britt follows me, so Ok cool, thats fine

So here we are, I'm sitting on my bed, chilling, getting my computer up and running and she's a little behind me, so she closes the door and leans against it... and just looks at me... and oh how I know that look...

So I try to ignore her and go on with my computer shit... then comes the question I was waiting for he to ask... ((btw this has been a little edited))

"What are you doing?"
((I know exactly what she's talking about but I ask anyway)) "What do you mean?"
"With the 15 year old... what are you doing?"
((I get kinda defensive)) "Nothing I was doing with you"
"Oh... so youre not in love with her"
((I get a little annoyed)) "No, I definately am... I wasn't in love with you tho"
"Because it wasn't about the love" ((she kinda walks towards me and sits on the bed))
((I just kinda scowl at her)) "Yeah well I guess love is a little more important than lust"
((she shuts my laptop... why would you do that?.. and moves closer, she's basically right on top of me)) "I know you Nik..."
((I get really angry... but obviously nervous as hell... sweating)) "No you don't"
(( she moves closer so I get up and move away off the bed)) "Leave please"

so then she gets annoyed, put's her sweater back on and leaves in a huff...

So wow... I'm relieved that I got her out without me doing anything wrong... Which by the way I didnt!! Let's hear it for self control eh'

So yeah wow... badness at it's finest!

I'm calmer now tho... and Kiley is gonna dye my hair like platinum blonde later so kick ass

Try It

Eeeeep [31 Oct 2003|04:42pm]
[ mood | violated ]

Got a new blog not on blurty *gasp*

And no you cant have it!! ^_^

Try It

*gasp* [30 Oct 2003|02:49pm]
HEY! I didnt do jack shit today... surprised? No, neither am I!

I got up at 6 a.m. had a long car ride... got to Jaimes at 8, went to sleep, got up at 12, been talking to linds online ever since

and I'm glad she feels better... makes me feel better 'cause i love her and I'm a pthetic loser YAY


1 Went Gay| Try It

Signing off [29 Oct 2003|09:50pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]
[ music | Disturbed "Violence Fetish" ]

I'm gonna go ahead and sign off AIM... I know what youre all thinking *gasp*

but I'm gonna pack my laptop and take it with me to my aunts house... I will be at Jaimes for thursday and the rest of the time I'll be at Tracys and I'll try to blog as often as I can and I'll try to make some appearances on AIM as much as I can

and Linds, I'm sorry, I really dun want you to worry... I just want you to be happy because I love you

Oh and hey guys big change... I move my cldaagh from my right to my left hand *gasp*

if ya dont know what that means look it up

so yeah, if I dun update again, have a good weekend and shit!

Try It

Feeling ------- [29 Oct 2003|09:22pm]
[ music | (hed) pe "Stevie" ]

I dun know how I am feeling right now... alot of shit at once

I love Linds and that makes me feel good but i feel bad because she worries and I just plain have a bad feeling and I feel confused as to what to do about Britt and bleh dog just bleh

but i do know I will not fuck this up...

I still need to pack for my aunts house and shit too... damn... oh well I'll do it later

Try It

Over it [29 Oct 2003|06:40pm]
[ mood | calm ]
[ music | 12 Stones "Open Your Eyes" ]

ok I'm over it... but I *know* that something bad is going to happen by the end of the weekend if nothing hasnt already happened

Try It

Depressing aint I [29 Oct 2003|05:38pm]
[ mood | uncomfortable ]
[ music | Breaking Benajamin "Phase" ]

"The light is dead in your eye
So I'll keep livin my life
I only wanted to try
To find my way back inside
My imitation of life
My litigation of life
It's something easy to find
Inside the shade of your eye

[Out of the ground I rise to grace
Nobody knows it's just a phase
Help me I'm out of breath again
Nobody knows somewhere to make it go away

I find it hard to decide
The way to make up your mind
Your lips are better than mine
So you can kiss this goodbye
My imitation of life
My litigation of life
It's something easy to find
Inside the shade of your eye

[Out of the ground I rise to grace
Nobody knows it's just a phase
Help me I'm out of breath again
Nobody knows somewhere to make it go away

It's just a phase
And I can't wait

I know
It's just a fucking phase"

Try It

DANCE PUPPET DANCE [29 Oct 2003|05:17pm]
[ mood | pathetic ]
[ music | Breaking Benjamin "Home" ]


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OH [29 Oct 2003|04:20pm]
oh but linds said she hasnt lied to me, so one down?
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Goobye to the feeling and hello to the apparent truth [29 Oct 2003|04:19pm]
[ mood | angry ]
[ music | hey im not listening to music... oh yes the angst ]

Well well well... I dont know what to say, but I've recently been smacked in the face with a few apparent truths... and if no one wants to come forward with it then I am going to ignore it because its not like I came across this information by total accident, its kinda like how evidence found unconstituionally cant be used in court... well thats the road I am taking right about now because I know what is and is not the right thing to do... ((and you know, I like my source of information, and I would like to continue to use it... yeah I know, its prob not right but oh well)) but mother fucker I sure as hell don't know what to think and you know I really dont care right now... meh

Try It

And On a Completely Seperate Note [29 Oct 2003|02:43pm]
People suck.
Urban have cooties heh i kid

What JTHM moment are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
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That Sinking Feeling [29 Oct 2003|02:30pm]
[ mood | curious ]
[ music | Mudvayne "(per)version of a truth" ]

before getting to my post subject I'll talk about evertything else

I woke up this morning after a really cool dream and I hit the snooze and fell right back to sleep within seconds, I was just so exhausted from my game last night and my chest hurts even more than it did last night, OUCHness. But I'm not really letting on about it beause I'm just not going to whine about it.

So anyway, my mom came in like 5 minutes later and was like "Are you going to school" and I rolled over and growled and she said "Well thanks for letting know" and she left and I got up 15 minutes later, got ready in 5 minutes, found my mom and made her take me to school and YES I DID GET THERE ON TIME ^_^
so i got there and did normal school things... oh and Kyle licked me again, ew

I went to 1st period and finished my graphic arts project, didnt get to print it but Ms. Parramore did show me lots of yearbook pictures of me for Field Hockey, there was one where I was hurt, so I was huddled over, sprawled out on the ground like clutching my rib cage... I was like "WOW, I look like I'm in pain"

so I stayed in there for a few and looked at pictures from FH and then I skipped off with Sarah to 2nd period and she ran off to do independent study things and I got stuck on the boom cam during a filming for class... I got some time to edit my video but I didnt finish by the end of class so I stayed about 10 minutes into my lunch period, but I did get it done!

So then I went to lunch and that was uneventful, I spent most of my time talking to Kimmy and just wandering like usual, I just dont really like my lunch table most of the time, but whatever

so I went to 3rd period and read my book some more, what a kick ass fucking book! and I got all my work done.

So I go to last period and not 30 seconds after sitting in my seat the phone rings and I get called to the office, KICK ASS, my mom came and got me earlier cause I asked her to this morning.

So then I came home, and here I am with that sinking feeling... Kimmy ask me later and I'll give you a link and then you'll understand!!

So I have this sinking feeling, where I know, I just KNOW that there is something I dont know about, or have been decieved about. Someone is lieing to me, and I want to know. If someone is decieving me, I wanna know, I fucking deserve to know. And what I think it is ((dont ask because I'm not fucking going to tell any of you, I dont care who you are!)) Heather and I talked about today in 2nd period. I'm just generally worried that everything that I've been told is a fucking lie and if it was, well then that's it, it's not worth it. And if whats happening that I think is happening then I deserve to know because it's not fair to me, it is not fair to me at all, I have dealt with enough shit in this and it's just not fucking fair. All I ask for, is honesty, just be truthful with me and everything will be ok.

If its what I think it is, well Heather asked me about it today, like she said "what if -------" well my answer was that there was nothing afterwards... nothing...

I'm not angry and I feel fine, I just know that I've been lied to, and it happens, thats fine, I understand but just come clean and don't lie to me anymore.

So anyway... I had a good day and I'm in a good mood, just tired and beaten, wow my chest hurts... and my ass is going out tonight! And I will tell you what! It is no holds barred, I am going to have some fun, because I am my own damn person!

Try It

"Good girl" [28 Oct 2003|09:11pm]
[ mood | tired ]

WOW... what a wierd day... i dont really feel like blogging because I'm tired and beaten but I'll get you guys in the loop ok

first off... in 3rd period I found these pictures in my bag... THEY WERE OF CECIL! SOMEONE KIDNAPPED CECIL and put pics of him in my bad, evil pics like with a knife and shit... god it was horrifying!!

anyway so we had our game today and we lost, which sux cuz that means FH is over

but it was awsome I played pretty awsome... the other teams coaches were pretty amazed with me... 24 saves bitch!!

so anyway after the game everyone got all emotional... and we went to Arbys... holy fucking shit it was funny... I had on a dog collar with a metal chain attached and Kimmy led me around the whole time we were in Arbys and she was like "Sit" and she hit me on the nose when I did bad things and she gave me a frie and shit when i was good... OMG it was great

so we lost and its over... and I knew i was gonna cry but I didnt

so on the bus I got groped and kissed and wow it was odd but whatever... it was fun and I am totally gonna miss that deam dude....

but it was a rough game... I am so damn dirty cuz it was muddy and I was on the ground alot... i got hit in the chest with a stick and my ribs hurts like mad and I am just generally beaten from tossing around on the ground and just doing all that shit...

Kimmy posted a blurty entry about gay rights and some ass commented rather rudely but whatever... people are stupid... and kim I love ya!

Shes cool and supportive... like a hetero homo activist... it rox

Try It

oh yeah [27 Oct 2003|08:43pm]
[ mood | relaxed ]
[ music | Mushroomhead "becoming cold" ]

yeah... I'm *in* love

Lindsay just makes me generally happily and I really like it ^_^

Try It

Well look at that, I dun have any rights! [27 Oct 2003|05:13pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]
[ music | Mushroomhead "The Dream Is Over" ]

~~nik: I just wanna lay down and be with her, it makes me happy... thats right Lil... I'm not much of a sexual person OMG the world is ending! :-p

excuse me.. should i feel insulted? i can still drink u under the table little american kid :P~~

that was Lils Away Message this mornin... I thought it was funny... and shes one of the few ppl that call me Nik or Nikki, I've dissasociated with most the ppl that call me that


WOW.... I was really political today

at the begining of 2nd period I didnt stand for the pledge to the flag, I never do. Well Mr. Hackett was like "STAND!" and I refused... because #1, its not a rule, I dont have to stand if I dont want to and #2, everything that flag stands for to me is bullshit and I REFUSE to deal with that shit

George Bush represents our country and I hate everything he stands for, fucking homophobic, anti-abortion redneck piece of shit! He said something about AIDS being the Gay plague... fuck him!!

And everyone says shit like "Well youre free in this country, you should respect that"

I dun have any rights... homosexuals dont have the same rights as heterosexuals because we are considered different... I dun have the right to freedom of speech, I dont have the right to marry which includes the right to visit my spouse in the hospital, inherit property from spouse, or participate in family medical insurance
I dun get equal pay for equal work... I can get fired because Im gay and no one can do jack shit about it

I dun have right to the custody of my own children, serve in the military

fuck that... I dun even have the right to have sex in my own house!!

now tell me again why I should stand for the pledge??

Today at lunch I got into an argument with some catholic kid who sits at my table and he tried to tell me that homosexuality is a choice and that its immoral and blah blah blah... fuck that!

Why would I choose to be gay? Why would anyone choose this life? I dont have any rights... fuck that, people get beaten down everyday, murdered even, just because theyre gay... now tell me why I would run that risk if I dont have to? Because I know who I love and theres nothing I can do about that...

and people keep using the bible as an excuse for being anti-gay and thats bullshit! #1 its bullshit because the simple law of seperation between church and state and by telling me that im a sinner is violating that

but also because it doesnt say in the bible that homosexuality is wrong... Sodom wasnt about homosexuality... it even fucking says that their sins were selfishness, arrogance, and inhospitality

so just take a fucking minute before you say anything remotely anti-gay, or homophobic and read these quotes against homosexuality and think how much it hurts to hear them

"Please remember, homosexuals do not reproduce! They recruit! And many of them are out after my children and your children... let me repeat, a massive homosexual revolution can bring the judgement of god upon this nation"

"Homosexuals are sexually troubled people engaging in dangerous activities. Because we care about them and those tempted to join them, it is important that we neither encourage nor legitimize such a destructive lifestyle"

"I'm inclined to the view that fags, deep-dyed fags, cant be saved, God has given up on them... theyre murderous liars, as the lord jesus called them, capable of any violence. Their dominant characteristics are murder and lies"

now think a minute, why would you hate me for simply loving? Why is it so harmful for me to love someone? Just because theyre the same sex as I am you want to punish me?

The nazis put homosexuals to death, same as they did the jews, so tell me... do you want to be apart of something the Nazis did... do you want to continue on with that or do you just want to let me live my life?

If you dont like it fine... then dont do it, but my life or any other homosexuals, doesnt effect you... so give me my rights as an american and maybe I will stand for that pledge

Try It

Movies [26 Oct 2003|09:36pm]
[ mood | tired ]

Went to the movies with Sam and Kiley
they saw Radio and I saw Texas Chainsaw Massacre
one would think I went alone, hell I even thought I was going alone, but I got there and I got caught... Xeno, D, Brit and Steph found me when I got there and I got confronted cuz not 20 minutes before that I told them I was staying in tonight... ooooops

so they ended up coming to see that with me, they had originally intended to see Radio but since I was there and hell bent on seeing TCM they came to see that and all through waiting for the movie to come on I got bombarded with shit like "you and brit hsould get back together" and etc... I dodged all those bullets and made it clear that I wasnt going down that road cuz I'm perfectly happy with Linds

I wish Linds and I got more nights like friday, I'm such a pansy but I just really like hanging out and snuggling, make fun all ya want, I know I'm supposed to be big bad jock dyke but thats how it is... so bite me ~_^ I just wanna lay down and be with her, it makes me happy... thats right Lil... I'm not much of a sexual person OMG the world is ending! :-p

so yeah... they movie was awsome and gorey as all fuck so that rocked and I reccommend it but now I want some fucking sleep!

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Later [26 Oct 2003|06:10pm]
[ mood | lonely ]
[ music | Shadow Records Techno Remix ]

I'm going to see Texas Chainsaw Massacre with Sam, Manny and Kiley

I'll blog as soon as I get back because it could end up being an interesting night!

Try It

Synchronized Moaning [25 Oct 2003|10:25pm]
[ mood | weird ]
[ music | Papa Roach "Black Clouds" ]

Its starting to hit me that FH could be over like any day now... WOW saddening... I am totally gonna miss the team

Kimmy just plain rocks, I love fatty, Brittany Henry is beast and everyone is just fucking awesome

Kimmy - You are the best Ferret ever!
Amanda - so damn sweet and nice
Fatty - You just fucking rock babe!
Sarah - You're just plain nice
Angela - Love ya ~_^ ha ha ha
Adrianne - you're just plain tiny
Abby - yeah I laugh funny... HA HA HA HA
Amy - Little rossy relativo
Ashley - you've saved my ass too many times this season
Cox - GET ON THE G-SPOT... hows the baby by the way :-p
Brittany - w/o you we'd be 3-9-1 ~_^
Holly - wow you're so damn blonde
Lindsay - howdy cap'n
Elise - You've kept my job damn easy this year
Erin - Stop getting injured for gods sake!
Cindy - pft... swimmers
Lacey - you put up with me for a long time... that's commendable right there

yeah I'll miss KI varsity FH 2004'

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Before Bed [25 Oct 2003|04:16pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]
[ music | Mushroomhead "becoming cold" ]

WOW... what a great weekend so far eh'

Last night Linds and I didn't do much, generally just watched movies ((Bound and The Rage: Carrie 2)) and got really snuggly which is nice ^_^

We got up at like 7 this morning to go to Waldorf.... I went to waldorf with my rents, Linds came too ^_^, and we stopped by my aunts house to chill

I really thought that a 2 hr car ride with my gf and my parents would be awkward but it was no where near as bad as I thought... so we got to my aunts and I looked up shit on the net and blah blah and Jaime being Jaime she waxed my eyebrows and of course Lindsay fell victim too ~_^ cuz Jaime is weird

Once Swan got to the house we went off to the game to watch Ryan play... we kept getting lost

but we finally got there and Lindsay found out how odd my family is... but I love em anyway

but now I am bitch ass tired so I am going to sleep!

1 Went Gay| Try It

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