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[05 Oct 2007|12:14am] |
How am I suppose to dress sexy for you when 90% of the time I can't stand to look at myself?
I wish you would stop pushing me to be something I don't even know how to be.
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[05 Oct 2007|07:47pm] |
a year ago today, i was caught shoplifting.
it's funny how much i've changed..
i was some random girl trying to figure out who i was,
& now i'm some 'plastic', and still i've gotten no where..
so, i'm better looking.. and i know it.
i try harder at school, and get the better marks i deserve.
and finally, i'm the better athlete i should've been, because i don't smoke so much dope.
and what have i accomplished?
a reputation that my looks can't make up for ...
my better marks don't even count until next year,
and there's no way i'm gonna get a scholarship - there are tons of other girls out there.
i am having the time of my life, but is it all worth it in the end?
i'm still just as lonely, and i feel like my new friends wouldn't quite understand everything i'm going through if i explained it to them. as much as i love them, most of them are stuck up, naive, rich spoiled kids.. who say shit behind your back even though it isn't true (... those ones aren't so much my friends). but in the end .. i always tell myself it's just high school and it won't even matter in a year.
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