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[04 Dec 2006|12:21am] |
( bah, click for the giant pic to go with a giant scream )
Recently, this shit has been bugging me so much. I Hate the people I went to primary school with and the first few years of high school. I hate them like I hate no one else. All my life I have been a very ill person. My "friends" told people I made it up for attention, simply because they refused to believe someone could be so ill all the time. Then they said I lied about other things. It hurt me so badly, and yet, I've never told them. It made it so that I always play down how ill I am. Always. If I had the chance, I'd tell them now, just how bad they made me feel for all those years. But I'd also tell them how in the grand scale of things, their lives will amount to nothing and impact nobody. I've died over six times and been brought back, my life is going somewhere, there is a reason for my existence, and I've already made a difference.
Boo fucking ya.
:P
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[04 Dec 2006|01:15am] |
I always thought, on the blurty mainpage in the random section, the community ana_support, actually said anal_support, I still do sometimes, it's so weird
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| Good morning. |
[04 Dec 2006|07:37am] |
In my dream, you kissed me.
Then you turned around and kissed her, to.
That says almost too much about our friendship.
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[04 Dec 2006|08:45am] |
i wish i was as funny in public
as i am alone with my sister
i made her literally pee her pants yesterday
and i was just making fun of a car
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[04 Dec 2006|09:26am] |
let me tell you about my morning...
my dad is usually at home in the morning to make sure i get to school on time.
today, however, he had to go to the DMV, so he left around 7.00, at which time I was getting dressed under the covers (cause it's really really cold today). I didn't mean to, but I fell back asleep, and was woken up by my dad coming in - half an hour after i was supposed to be at school! i froze up, i didn't know what to do; would he see my coat on the hanger and know i hadn't left? my key on the windowsill? the light in my bedroom still on?
i decided to stay in bed, and pretend to be asleep, because if he found me out he would be mad, but it would be accidental - whereas if i had gotten up and hid, in the closet or the bathroom, and he'd found me there, i would have been trying to trick him, and he would have gotten REALLY mad.
i lay there in bed, stock still, for about an hour, listening to my dad move around downstairs, repeating 'please don't come up here, please don't come up here,' every time he approached the staircase.
and he didn't - he left for work, without once checking to be sure that i'd gotten to school.
this sounds awful - i don't want anybody to get the wrong idea. my dad isn't abusive or actually very scary at all, or anything like that - i just really didn't need another strike against me.
and well... i think i got away with it, so... hakuna matata?
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[04 Dec 2006|10:50am] |
you're the only reason i go through every day.
the day you're out will be the happiest of my life.
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| ljsecret. |
[04 Dec 2006|11:05am] |
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[04 Dec 2006|11:51am] |
i was clean for two months, but i slipped up and i'm back to where i started.
i tell everyone it was a one time thing, but i still haven't quit and i'm probably not going to.
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[04 Dec 2006|03:02pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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SO HAPPY |
] |
| [ |
music |
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underOATH |
] |
i guess this only makes sense if you watched the last ugly betty, well just for clarification, there was talk about "no one else makes my hands sweat or makes me get butterflies in my stomach"
and well i just wanted to scream it to her that i found someone that makes me feel that way!
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[04 Dec 2006|03:39pm] |
i get random urges to wash my hands.
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[04 Dec 2006|04:43pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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i need a wee |
] |
| [ |
music |
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flap your wings - nellyy |
] |
today i did it in the girls loo's
with my boots card and a 50 pence peice
whats even worse is that i think im cool when i do it :S
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[04 Dec 2006|05:07pm] |
Secret: I was the one who BEGGED to go there, and that's the biggest regret I'll ever have.
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[04 Dec 2006|05:14pm] |
so HAHA
(To the one on the left)
And I'm damn nice for tutoring you for our world history test
You basically should worship me for having to listen to your drivel while you were talking to that girl today during class.
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| yeah there's nudity |
[04 Dec 2006|05:52pm] |
( the naked truth )
secret: i'm talking about myself.
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[04 Dec 2006|06:19pm] |
I feel like such an asshole.
He's the only guy that has really cared about me and here I go fucking it up.
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[04 Dec 2006|06:23pm] |
letting him go & standing my ground
makes me feel so much better than
he could have EVER made me feel.
he was an ass anyway.
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[04 Dec 2006|06:44pm] |
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Secret: Im so stressed out I feel like Im going to BURST and I wish I would. I find myself hoping I'll end up in the hospital because of all the stress, anxiety, depression that Im feeling since no one knows it. (I've always been very passive agressive and had severe trouble explaining telling people how I feel about even the simplest things). For someone who never believed in therapy or anything......I think I need therapy...bad.
Secret: My niece whom I love and care deeply about. Who keeps me going everyday. Everyone keeps saying your mom is raising a little me. And thats what worries me. Your very much like me when I was a child. I just hope I will always be there for you and be able to help you and listen to you when you go through things I went through. Because I know you will I know were in that similar situation and I remember living a scared life and one filled with lonely. I hope you turn out a million and 1 times stronger than me better yet I hope you turn out to be you ownself. I love you.
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[04 Dec 2006|08:12pm] |
you are one of the sweetest guys i've ever met.
and you like me a lot.
but how do i tell you that i don't like you that way?
=[
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| No secret.. |
[04 Dec 2006|08:15pm] |
Just thought it was funny.
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[04 Dec 2006|08:25pm] |
i just blatantly lied to my boyfriend when he asked if i cheated on him
i did
on numerous occasions
the guy i cheated with, thinks im gonna break up with tom [the bf]
but im not
and i never intended too
im not use to all this fucking attention gaaah
apparently i have a reputation here
everyone thinks of me as the girl who messes everyone around
and is fucking outta control
my friends slag me off behind my back
everyone thinks im a flipping pyscho
and i cant stop the drugs
oh my
:S
im in a bit of a pickle
sorry theres no picture
but frankly. i couldn't be arsed :)
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[04 Dec 2006|08:26pm] |
[no picture]
secret: i'm scared of posting on here what i regret & my secrets, because i've seen the way people on here comment others, and im scared even more people will judge me before they know me.
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[04 Dec 2006|08:48pm] |
by elxploded i did mean exploded.
haha.
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[04 Dec 2006|08:58pm] |
you spend all day with her. you're always touching her, making fun of her. but you're not going out. we haven't spoken in ages. last time we spoke we hugged. that was at the beginning of november. i see you nearly ever day. i told my friends i gave up on you a long time ago. we've never been 'together'.
secret: i'm still crazy about you. just there, i read something, and now i'm convinced you feel the same. i have no clue why.
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[04 Dec 2006|11:47pm] |
i know this is a dumb secret. but i'm so scared i'm going to end up in community college because all i want is to move out of house and go to theatre school. but my procrastinating is getting out of control.
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[04 Dec 2006|11:57pm] |
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Secret: I love my Blurty -
It's because none of my friends knw about it
Plus, although it's exposed to the world wide web,
Not many people visit it - in fact, none I think :P
Other than myself, of course.
So I can blog about anything and everything I want (:
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