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[14 Oct 2006|12:20am] |
Tonight was absolutely amazing.
I really do love you, even after what you put me through.
I would love to marry you someday.
And I'm so proud that you are seriously looking into getting a new job.
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[14 Oct 2006|12:39am] |
( i cant really think of a picture)
I just finised a 12 page physics project.
It took me 2 days to do a rough draft and 6 hours to type/excel.
When people in the class ask how long it took I'll probably say about 2 hours.
I lie to people because I feel like I put too much work into things and I think that they are going to take me as someone who doesn't have a life.
Yet I always say that school matters to me and that I am proud of my school work.
I think i am a hypocrite.
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[14 Oct 2006|02:24am] |
I've never broken up with anyone before. As a matter of fact I've only had 3 boyfriends my whole entire life.
However, once, just once, I'd like to be the heartbreaker. I appologize if that sounds mean, but I'd love to know what it feels like. : \
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[14 Oct 2006|04:15am] |
i say that i'm happier and better off without it, but truthfully i miss it so fucking much.
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[14 Oct 2006|07:52am] |
I thought I was supposed to miss him less each day. I also thought I would stop thinking about all the empty promises he made. When will it stop? I miss him... I have 40 more days to go before I can talk to him again. /=
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| two birds with one stone |
[14 Oct 2006|05:30pm] |
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[14 Oct 2006|05:41pm] |
they terated me like iv never been terated before
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[14 Oct 2006|09:43pm] |
SECRET: i think i'm falling in love with you again.
damn.
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[14 Oct 2006|10:32pm] |
"Thanks. I really appreciate what happened tonight. It's nice to know that even when I practically beg you not to do something, it doesn't matter what I want, or how its going to make me feel..you do it anyway. I really thought you were serious when you said you wanted my trust back, and that you would do anything to get it back, even stop going out....But then you go and accuse me of trying to make you a "hermit"(that was your exact word wasn't it?). I want to be with you, but most importantly, I want respect because I DERSERVE IT. I deserve to be with someone who won't do things that they KNOW are going to hurt or bother me..and I'm seriously telling you...this is your LAST chance. You really need to grow up. You need to learn how to have a relationship because, I may only be 18, but I have a pretty good understanding of whats right and whats wrong to do in a relationship, and I would have hoped that a 26 year old would too, but I guess not. I don't understand this. I don't understand how you can't even think to apologize on your own. I really want to be with you. I DO. But you are making it SO hard Ryan. I love you, and I want you to love me back. Not just have sex love, not just hang out and have fun love, I want the love where you to think about how I feel, and just think about how your actions are going to affect someone else and not just yourself. Not to pour salt on old wounds, but yes, you did totally destroy my faith and trust in you, and just when I started to get an ounce of it back, you do this. Yes, I have a reason to be upset, and no, I am not overreacting. You really need to step back an evaluate what love is to you and how you treat someone you love, because if it's not the same to you as it is to me...I can't be with you. I just really hope you think about all of this...really think. Please. Goodnight."
For once in my life, I stood up for myself...and I'm not going to apologize.
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