Alexis' Blurty

Sucking It Up
So, I'm gonna suck it up. I'm gonna tell Kelly that I like her, I'm going to be eloquent and express my feelings for her. I don't know how and I don't know when, but I'm going to do it. I owe it to myself to do this and I owe it to her. Do I owe it to her? Does she really need to know for her own pleasure, or mine. Mine, totally mine. I spoke to Manny about it, and basically he said that I have nothing to lose. She's an understanding and loving person, she's not going to freak out and push me away forever, I mean, she might but it's highly unlikely. Either she'll return my feelings or she won't, and there's really no way I'm going to find out unless I say something. I know that she's leaving in a few months, graduating and leaving Bard forever, and I know about Quentin and Adam, but I don't care. Why waste feelings and love because you're afraid. Worse come to worse, at least it will boost her ego...I can't even joke about it, it make me feel sick inside. Perhaps, perhaps something will happen and I can make her last few months her better, even though I'm sure having some freshman girlfriend isn't exactly what she's dreaming of. She'll be away and working on her Senior Project and such, but I have to do this. I have to do it for myself and the longer I keep it inside and try to push it down to the deepest, darkest regions of my heart, the more it's tearing me apart. I love her.

Current Mood: indescribable
Current Music: Indigo Girls