Alexis' Blurty

Something Happened
I'm kinda pissed off. I wrote this really long journal entry before, on Thursday night I think, and I thought that it updated but for some reason it's not showing up. I don't know what's going on with my journal, it's just going crazy. Maybe it's my internet in general, I hope not. But, since my other journal entry was deleted and I'm not in the mood to type out everything I wrote before, I'm going to give the abridged version. Basically, I gave Kelly the scarf that I knit for her and she really liked it. She put it on when I gave it to her, and then she was wearing it on Thursday, which made me feel really nice because she didn't even know she was going to see me. I mean, I can flatter myself and think that she really like my scarf, or I can be realistic/depressing and say that the odds of her seeing me were probably pretty high and she figured this so therefore wore the scarf. Even so, if she wore the scarf to make me feel good, then that still means that she was thinking about my feelings which is nice. When I saw her on Tuesday night at dinner, we held hands and were talking and I felt horrible leaving Allison and Cate to talk to her, but I didn't want to stop. I missed her so much! We're going to hang out soon, I hope, and just talk. We have to catch up on all the exciting things in life. Thursday was alright and I had dinner with Jackie, which was nice. I missed her over the break also. It's odd, some times you're just drawn to someone because you feel that they're a good person, that they'd be a good friend. Jackie seems to me to be just like Cate, the friend that I was looking for in high school and found in college. I hope we become better friends as our time here progresses. Yesterday I saw Ed and went to the gym for a little bit. It felt good to work out, even though it was total torture. After 5 minutes I was ready to stop, but I just kept pushing myself, kept going. I don't know what I'm going to do after my surgery, it's not going to be fun. Oh, I also saw Fred Barnes on Thursday and we talked about what's going to happen to me after my surgery. I don't want to move, but I think I'm gonna have to. I don't want to leave Kristen or anyone else on the floor. I might get a single which could be nice, but I don't want to go! I love my life in Tewks, as scary as that seems to me, and I don't want to go. I have no choice, and that fucking sucks. Friday was a lazy day, except for my time at the gym. I think I'm going to do some work now, but I'll write later when I'm less asleep.

Current Mood: sleepy
Current Music: Chill Mix (Jordan Caress, The Donnas, Mirah, etc.)