Blurty for Skittles Taste the Rainbow.

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Sunday, October 17th, 2004

Subject:New name
Time:9:33 am.
For those of you who havent figured it out, I have a new blurty. Its brown_eyes_3 Just thought Id let you know. Love you all!
Rachel
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Sunday, September 26th, 2004

Subject:Just a normal day in the land of dreams
Time:4:30 pm.
Mood: relieved.
Music:Masquerade - Dobson Choir.
I got a kitty! His name is Murphy and hes an orange tabby. Ive had such a good weekend with him. I told Katie yesterday right on my way home from the Humane Society. I called her and Im like
Me: Guess what I got!
Katie: a car!?
Me: a cat!
Katie: a kitty!!!
lol I love that girl. Shes grand. So she came over today! Which doesnt happen too often cuz she lives across town in Glendale. It was great. I hear my mom saying "Rachel, your best friend is here!" im like what... lol It was her, Matt, Andrew and Tori. O-M-Z-G! Andrew is getting sooo~~> big! It makes me sad and happy at the same time. Hes growing up so fast. I know, hes only 6 months. But still! Omg.... I thought he was only 5 months... it didnt sound right so I counted the months and hes 6 months... wow... Another half a year and he'll be a year old! Thats crazy... WOW so ANYWAYS! I was just kinda rambling. lol

All this drama is so depressing. Both girls are close to me. It hurts to see them fighting. Over a guy none the less. I wish I could solve their problems but I know I cant. It just hurts to see them like this. Both of them are yelling at eachother in their journals and it tears me up to see the words they put in there about eachother. They both have a very good point but I dunno.. I need to stay out of it tho. Its not my business. And I sure dont wanna make it my business.

A couple nights ago I got an email that had a picture of a ghost and omzg it scared the living daylights out of me! I sent it to Melissa and she totally FREAKED OUT! It was kinda funny. Well then last night when she came over, we went outside to play basketball and she was freaking out there too! The picture showed a boy in front of a tree and the ghost was next to him. So that night Melissa was freakin out over trees. "Theres too many of them! Noooo!" haha I love that girl! Me and Rachel kept scarin her goin like "OMG MELISSA OVER THERE!" heh heh heh... it was grand. But I was creeped out too, but not to that extent. And omg to top it off, we watched those things online that showed a scary picture that jumps out at you. If any of you know me really well then you know that thats what I hate the most about scary movies and stuff. Things jumping out at me. I get so scared its not funny. So that wasnt too fun for me to watch that. By the end of it I was plugging my ears, humming and staring at the 'Wizard of Oz' poster in our living room. Poor pookie though. lol Well that night went from us playing tennis at Mesquite - to a movie night at my house - to a pool party. I love how it all worked out! We watched like half of Oceans 11 and then watched the last Hendrix choir concert. I was so sad, I was about to cry. Then we went outside to see where Shane and Rachel went. So we stayed out there for a while, that ended up where Courtney wanted to go in the pool. So she put on my swim suit and jumped in. Shane pushed Rachel in after that. Then Miguel jumped in. Shane was about to pull me in but I begged to put on my suit 1st cuz I was in jeans. So I put my siut on and Shane pushes me in. Miguel pushed Liz in after that. Omg it was so sad. She was fully clothed. lol That was my night.

Another something I need to get off my chest. Last night when I was talking to Sara, I was telling her everything about how I felt about someone. I realized just how much he means to me. I had found out that he might be moving. Hes not, thank God. And when I was telling him all this I realized even more how much I cherish him. Hes become a terrific friend and I dont wanna lose him. Just thought Id let him know that... You know who you are.
Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.

Friday, September 24th, 2004

Subject:i dont have true friends
Time:6:11 pm.
Mood: crushed.
Music:Miles Apart - Yellowcard.
Everyone is talking about how they find out who their "true friends" are and all this stuff. What is the point? I dont get it. Im not saying this to make anyone mad or anything because i know some people will take that wrong even though I dont anything by it. Well anyways. I dont get why people are looking for 'true' friends. Why cant we be happy with the friends we already have? I dont want to pick and choose from my friends. I love them all for different reasons. Its just kinda stupid to me. But thats just me and no one ever listens to me. Seriously. Im not trying to be one of those "Im misunderstood" kinda of teenagers but no one really listens. Ill say something, no one pays attention. Someone else will say the same thing and theyll all listen. Im kinda depressed that my friends do that sometimes. Im not sayin ALL the time. But yeah i gotta go. Im tryin to persuede Melissa to coming to play tennis with me.
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Wednesday, September 22nd, 2004

Subject:It feels like Monday
Time:8:43 pm.
Mood: blank.
Music:The Nightmare - Anastatia.
Wow, when was the last time I updated this thing? Weddesday nite... wow, its been a week. ANYWAYS! So Its been kind of an eventful week. Not too eventful but hey, its my life, what can I say. I cant remember much that happened this last week. Its gone by pretty fast though. Brief review:
Wednesday- Late Start/D-Backs game
Thursday- Badmitton game/Study night with Pookie, Dillon, Shane & Grant
Friday- Mercury game
Saturday- Movie night with Court & Greg
Sunday- Dont remember
Monday- EVERWOOD
Tuesday- Mommy/Daddy's 19th Anniversary
Today- Study night with Dillon & Shane

And thats it. I dont wanna give details. Too bored of my life for that.

So what should my topic be? Im really blank today. I had like no emotion. I wasnt happy. But I wasnt mad. Everyone was like 'whats wrong' tho. Kinda made me mad. So I tried to stop looking like I was mad. Didnt work. People amaze me. I noticed that when you dont feel like talking, you watch other people talk. Its amazing how much crap people make for themselves. Really. The world is not against you, kids! You are. You want drama. You dwell on it. And I know what youre thinking reading this: "She has no right to talk. Shes always involved in drama." Ya know what? You put me there. You pull me in. Yes sometimes I do it myself without outside help. Im not gonna lie. No, nevermind. Im gonna shuttup. That is a WONDERFUL quality I need to learn and get better at. I cant shuttup. I really cant. Tomorrow I am gonna try to be normal. What I mean is, not hyper, not mad. Speculating. Thats what Ill be. Ill be a normal person because obviosly that is what people want now. Ive asked one of my close friends to tell me when I get out of hand but I havent heard anything from her so I know she aint doin her job. So Ill moniter myself. Its 10. Ciao Doves....
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Thursday, September 16th, 2004

Subject:"Thank You Lord, For Hearing Every Prayer..."
Time:9:01 pm.
Mood: thankful.
Music:I am His child - Hendrix Choir.
Im not mad. or worried. Excited, never, and sad, nope. Im thankful. Thankful for everything in my life. Ive looked at it differently since last nite. I didnt stare down death in the face but it couldve only taken one car to take my life away. As everyone around me was freaking out and praying "Hail Mary..." and "Lord, please spare our lives".... I wasnt. Not because I didnt know the 'Hail Mary' prayer... but because I was almost welcoming death. It was a strange feeling. I mean, heck yeah, I was scared. Everyone wouldve been. But I wasnt scared of the pain of dying or the fact that I could die. I was scared of not seeing the people I love. What would happen if I did die? How would they react? What would they do? I always wonder that. But anyways.... Im off the subject. Well heck, I dont really know what the subject is. All I know is that God kept all of us safe last night and I look at life differently. I was so happy to be alive today, or at least not in the hospital. I was thankful that my parents didnt have to read my name in the paper. If that makes any sense to y'all. It makes sense to me.

I may not be, all that you are. I may not be, a shining star. But what I am, I thank the Lord for making me His child. Thank You Lord, for hearing every prayer. Thank you Lord, ofr just being there. Thank you Lord, Thank you Lord, for I am not worthy of your love.
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Sunday, September 12th, 2004

Subject:No more
Time:1:03 pm.
Mood: hungry.
Music:My bologna has a 1st name....
No more Homecoming for me. Its over. Completely and totally over. Though.... Im not too sad over it. Dont ask me why because I dont know. Things just happened and hes totally mad at me. I have a strange feeling though that hes lying about wanting to be friends. Well guess what? Im over it. If he doesnt want to go to homecoming with me then thats fine, I so understsnd that, but if hes gonna lie about wanting to be friends that totally pisses me off. So guess what.... hes out.
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Saturday, September 11th, 2004

Subject:In Rememberance of 9/11/01
Time:8:49 am.
Mood: thankful.
Music:cant you guess?.
"Again today, we take into our hearts and minds those who perished on this site one year ago, and also those
who came to toil in the rubble to bring order out of chaos, to help us make sense of our despair. The world will
little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here."

**Listen closely to 'Believe' by Yellowcard and you'll hear this**


Think about the love inside the strength of heart
Think about the heroes saving life in the dark
Climbing higher through the fire, time was running out
Never knowing you weren't going to be coming down alive
But you still came back for me
You were strong and you believed

Everything is gonna be alright
Everything is gonna be alright
Everything is gonna be alright
Be strong. Believe.
Be strong. Believe.

Think about the chance I never had to say
Thank you for giving up your life that day
Never fearing, only hearing voices calling out
Let it all go, the life that you know, just to bring them down alive
And you still came back for me
You were strong and you believed

Everything is gonna be alright
Everything is gonna be alright
Everything is gonna be alright
Be strong. Believe.

Everything is gonna be alright
Everything is gonna be alright
Everything is gonna be alright
Be strong. Believe.

Wanna hold my wife when I get home
Wanna tell the kids they'll never know how much I love to see them smile
Wanna make a change right here right now
Wanna live a life like you somehow
Wanna make your sacrifice worthwhile

Everything is gonna be alright
Everything is gonna be alright
Everything is gonna be alright
Be strong. Believe.

Everything is gonna be alright
Everything is gonna be alright
Everything is gonna be alright
Be strong. Believe.

Think about the love inside the strength of heart
Think about the heroes saving life in the dark
Think about the chance I never had to say
Thank you for giving up your life that day


*To all the heros out there who risked or gave up their lives to save others 3 years ago in New York. I pray for you all. You wil never be forgotten. Always in my heart you'll stay.*
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Subject:say goodbye
Time:8:34 am.
Mood: depressed.
Music:Believe - Yellowcard.
I read all my friends journals and I think, wow, they sure have a lot of important stuff to say. And I go to MY entries and all they are is stuff that I do during the week or the day. Why cant I be imaginative and think of something else to talk about? The only time I ever do that is when Im depressed or mad about something. Why cant I write happy things or just random things I think everyday. Not stupid things but stuff that accually means something to someone. Me particularly. Ive been thinking lately about all my friends and how much they care for me. Why? Why me? Whats so darn special? When Im hanging out with them all I step back and take a look at all the blessings in my life and I still think 'why'. Why would God do all this stuff for me? Ive never done anything for Him. So why give me all this stuff? Yeah I thank him everyday for everything he's ever given me, friends, family, people who genuinly care about me, but to all those people who I 'named', why pick me? Because honestly? I dont see it. I dont see anything in me that is special or any reason why you would want to call me your friend. I have no speical talent. Ciara, youve got basketball and karate. Liz, youve got singing. Chris, youve got the cello. Alyssa, the violin. Greg, any instrument imaginable. What do I have? Nothing. Ive tried in the past. Sports, music. But nothing. I lost my skill for music and I never was good at sports.... so what now?


And to go back to what I usually put in here...: It seems like Im never going to get my permit. Maybe I just wasnt meant to drive. Everything happens for a reason but I want to know what the reason is that I cant get my permit.
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Monday, September 6th, 2004

Subject:Matthew Lillard is kinda hot! (lol Liz)
Time:9:24 pm.
Mood: sleepy.
Music:View From Heaven - Yellowcard.
Long eventful weekend! Well okay, long eventful Sunday! There, hows that. Sunday night, I told you, I was going to my aunts anniversary. That was boring. Oh well, family stuff usually is. Not much happened there. Except omg I gotta tell this. So I thought I looked okay in my dress. Ive looked better. But alot of my family and people I havent seen in a loooong time were like "Que bonita!" to my mom about me. It was so cool cuz I knew that it meant how pretty! lol I smiled alot then. heh heh. lol
We left around 7, which is early since it was suppose to last till 10:30. My mom dropped me off at Saras right after. I was still in my dress. I arrived the same time as Miguel did. No one else got there for a while but when Liz did I wouldnt let her in cuz I couldnt see her in the peep hole. lol We just chilled until Jay got there. Then we watched Hocuz Pocus cuz thats like Saras favorite movie. We got ride to Blockbuster after that and rented 13 Ghosts and The Craft. Those were good movies. I was so scared to watch 13 Ghosts cuz I knpw Megan was like terrified of that movie. Jackel Jackel Jackel! lol Well we watched The Craft 1st. Pretty good movie. Then we got up and went on the computer, ate, and kust hung out. I was trying to stall them movie so it would be too late to watch it. Didnt work. I started out on the floor with Jay and Sara next to me. I wouldnt have minded except I was on the end. I hate bein on the end. Liz and Miguel were laying opposite on the couch, Liz's head next to me. I told her I was really scared. She asked if I wanted to switch places with her so I was on the couch. I said no cuz then Id have nothing behind me cuz the back of the couch is against the edge of the step. The movie barley started and I was so scared Im like Liz can I take you up on that offer now??? We did. lol The movie was really good. I wasnt too scared of the Jackel as I was of The Princess. She creeped the hell out of me!!! So yeah. Im thinking too much about the movie! STOP! Okay so I was totally creeped out by the movie so we watched Freaky Friday after that. We didnt even get like half way through before we had a MASSIVE pillow fight! It was so awesome! I thought I broke my nose though. I was on the couch trying not to get hit and Miguel spotted me and started attacking me but before I reached my hand up to scratch my head and right before he hit me I had my hand by my nose and the pillow smacked my hand into my face. OMG it hurt like hell!! I was fine though. But then Miguel thought it would be funny too turn off all the lights to scare us even more. Yeah, that worked REALLY well! That was NOT sarcasm. I was so freakin scared. We were on separate couches for a while but we got so scared that we all moved to the little couch whose back was against a wall. lol We got up again and Jay turned off the tv, dvd player, AND the cd player. So there was like NO light. Liz, Sara, and Jay had their cell phones tho so that was our source of light. We were waiting for the fan to turn of tho. I wouldve seriously cried if that happened! I was already screaming bloody murder! I had fun screaming when someone would get up so they would get scared and jump on the couch with everybody. heh heh heh. lol I was getting really tired after that. But everyone was going outside so I went with them. Saras dog is seriously the seed of Satan! Wow, that is one evil devil dog. lol We went inside after that and I fell onto my bed like a rock after that. I was so tired. I found out in th morning that I talk in my sleep. How weird is that. Someone told me that once before. I think it was Sara. But no one could inderstand me cuz I was just mumbling. Thats embarrassing. Well I am soooo tired y'all so Im gonna go to sleep. Ciao!

Im not so confused anymore.... Thx Chris.
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Sunday, September 5th, 2004

Subject:Tonight is gonna be AWESOME!
Time:12:15 pm.
Mood: excited.
Music:Now I'm Here - Queen.
Its already Sunday and I havent updated since thursday. Wow, Im slacking. lol So I'll put it in the form that Liz always does. lol

Friday - Wasnt such a good day. I felt horrible throughout practically the whole day. I cried so much before 2nd hour. Im so lucky to have such good friends like I do. They're always there for me. I love all you guys. You give me terrific advice. Thanks. 3rd hour was probly the hardest to stand. I was ready to burst into tears if I even looked at him. Way hard. I felt better after school. Just the 4 of us hangin out at Ciaras. Ciara, Megan, and Liz. Those girls are the best. We talked about a girls nite out at Ciaras since her moms outa town. But that didnt work. It wouldve been just me and Liz in the end. What a great girls nigt out. Sigh. Oh well.
On Friday night was the football game. That was so much fun!!!! I had a blast just hangin out with everyone tryin to figure out how the game works with Jenni. She was freakin out cuz shes Cheer Captain and she doesnt know how to play football. It was hysterical. I had so many serious talks with people that nite. I think I'll always remember what Sara said to me. Shes the sweetest thing on this earth. I love her so much. None of you know how much she means to me. Not even she knows. lol Alysia gave me good advice too. I think Ill always remember that night. Not by the advice but how when Gabe talked tome it looked like he was proposing. lol It took every ounce of strength in my not to laugh when these kids in the bleachers screamed at me to say yes. It was great. But our conversation wasnt as funny as that. I'll just tell y'all that we're friends.
Saturday - I was soooooo bored in the morning. I got all ready for Viv to come over. I called her and called her. No answer. Oh well. Melissa, Sara, and I decided that we'd go to the mall. That sounded fun. I got all ready for that. I was ready like an hour before we accually were gonna go. I was almost out the door when the phone rings and its Sara. Melissa changed the time. 4 oclock instead of 1. GRR So I had to sit around doing nothing until 4. It was well worth the wait. That night was the best Ive had in a while. Whew it was fun. It was kinda boring at 1st cuz we couldnt figure out what movie to see. The only person who wanted to see Anacondas was Melissa. Everyone else wanted to see Wicker Park. But did we see that? No. lol Ill see it someday. I will. We saw Alien Vs. Predator instead. AH! I dont like it. lol Not that its scary but i dunno. I just didnt like it. Too many things jumping out at you. I hate that. Thats what scares me the most. So I had my fingers in my ears and I was ready to close my eyes at any moment. I had this look on my face that Melissa, Shane, and Grant thought was just soooo funny. I guess i had my eyes like wide open, my mouth was slightly open and I had my fingers in my ears. I looked so scared. lol So they made fun of me. Oh well. Melissa was so jumpy. She would jump into Shane at every chance she could get. It was funny. So I really didnt like the movie. But thats okay it was still fun. After the movie we start to head to the bathrooms and Liz, Joey, and Miguel go the opposite way and cant get back in. So we couldnt find them for a while. When we went into the mall we passed Cinnabon ad Gabe was working! That was cool, we went over and talked to him. But we were in the way of customers so we had to leave. Walking around the mall wasnt too much fun. Hangin out with everyone was. Id never hung out with Shane and Grant before. Theyre really cool. Funny too. We were in the Discovery Channel store and they have those massage things. Grant picked one up and was just.... well he was just Grant. lol Hes hysterical. Well we went a few places, Miguel found us, we lost Sara, and just kinda walked around. Shane and Grant had to leave so we went to find everybody else. We met them at Starbucks. The girls talked about having a girls night out at Saras house. We all decided to call our parents cuz it was getting really boring. Thats when the real fun started. We were walking into the mall and Greg was talking about flying or sumthing. Like a jet pack or something like that. Out of no where I tell Sara, "Ive had dreams I can fly." Me and her laughed SO FREAKING HARD! We could not stop. Im dead serious. We were laughing so hard we were crying. So we separate from Liz, Joey, and Miguel cuz we we're meeting somewhere else. We were walking down the stairs and Greg was already at the bottom cuz he went down the rocks. Geez I was so scared he was gonna fall and break his ankle. Well hes comin up the stairs and Im like Greg catch! I tossed my purse at him cuz I was tired of carrying it. He wasnt looking and when he looked up it hit him right in the face!!! It was HYSTERICAL! I couldnt walk I was laughing so hard. Then when we were okay to walk again we start goin and Greg jumps onto the brick part on top of the railing of hte stairs and runs down! Im like Greg what are you doing?! And then I see him running down the slope! It was GRAND! I havent laughed that hard in a long time. Jeez I wish I could go back in time to that moment so I can laugh that hard again!
Tonight Im going to my aunts anniversay. Its really formal so Im wearing my Quince dress. It starts at 4 and ends at 10. 6 HOURS! And girls night out starts at 8! Im gonna be 2 hours late! At least! I still gotta come home and change! Grrr. Im gonna ask my dad if he can pick me up an hour and a half early. Then Id only be like a 1 hour late. I hope that will work. Aw man, I just realized I have homework too. Darn. Well Im hungry and the bagel my mom had looked good. lol So see y'all later!
Ciao!
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Thursday, September 2nd, 2004

Subject:DOBSON FOOTBALL TOMORROW PPL!
Time:9:55 pm.
Mood: bouncy.
Music:Sometimes - Britney Spears.
Today wasnt too bad. I cried after 4th hour to Lizette and Sara tho. Sad sad. yes I know. Im over it. Well not totally. Dont feel like goin into details with it.
OMG So I went to Juliane's volleyball game (we lost) and I was like wow I miss being on a team. I miss volleyball. But I suck at it so Im not even gonan try again. So Im like hm I really like basketball. Ive always loved playing with my dad. So I asked him when we got home if we could shoot some hoops. We did and omg I havent been on a court since .... well a loooong time! lol Turns out Im perdy darn good. My dad says I have a little bit of natural talent. Woohoo. Go Rachel! Haha. I played pretty well. I like it a lot. Well thats my day.

Oh yeah, and Courtney. When the directions to bake something says bake at 350 degrees... IT MEANS 350! NOT 450! HAHAH omg that was sooooo great! I love you chicks! Youre so great!

Ciao Y'all!
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Wednesday, September 1st, 2004

Subject:His little Princess
Time:12:04 pm.
Mood: indescribable.
Music:It Takes Two Baby - ???.
So today is sooooooooo boring. Im home rite now cuz last night I couldnt really stand up I was so dizzy. My dad said somethin bout my equillibrium. Hmm. Yeah Im pretty fine now. Stuff still kinda spins but oh well. Ill live. Today was so boring until like 11:00. Thats when people get out of 3rd hour. I called Sara and talked to her a bit. Court too. Then Alysia called. She told me that Gabe dressed up for me today! GR! The one day I decide to stay home he does somethin for me! AH! I could scream! Sigh, oh well. He called me to see how I was and told me he'll look good again for me some other time. Hehe. When I answered he called me his little Princess! AW! How cute is that? So yeah.
I was thinking about going to 6th hour cuz we have simulators today. But I'll just drive 2wice on Friday. I kinda miss school. lol Never thought Id say that. Oh well. So I'm watching It Takes Two rite now. I havent seen that in FOREVER! I love it. I use to LOVE Mary-kate and Ashley. I had like so many of thei movies. I love them. lol I think I'll watch Passport to Paris next. lol Well Ciao y'all...


"Its that can't eat, can't sleep, reach for the stars, over the fence, world series kinda of stuff huh?"
-It Takes Two
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Monday, August 30th, 2004

Subject:This is the start...
Time:8:45 pm.
Mood: loved.
Music:At The Beginning - Anastasia.
Im falling for Gabe. Falling deep. I dont know if ill be able to get out! lol Its okay though. I dont want to get out. I like him so much. I dont think Ive ever felt this way for a guy before. No its not love. Im too young to know what love is. He's so sweet. He makes me feel like I'm the only one for him. He's such a sweetheart, you have no idea. I wish we could get past all this awkwardness now tho. And I want to be 16 now more than ever. I can have a boyfriend and can go on "dates", but if I do then it has to be in groups. Thats fine for now, as long as I'm with him. Its all good. But I just want to have one night with him alone. I'll wait. I can do that. I've done it for 15 years after all. 6 more months isnt gonna kill me. Today was great. I had the best time. Even if I do only see him for an hour its okay. We talk on the phone alot so its great. I live for our nighttime talk.
So I really wanna get my permit!!!! I can legally get it on Friday. But am I getting it then??? NO! Why?? Cuz my parents cant get off of work! Grr. I have to wait like 2 weeks till they have time off. Hmm, maybe we can go on Saturday! I never thought of that. Well, with my luck of driving that'll probably blow up in my face too!!! Grrr...
Omg today in PE was so much fun. I ran out of energy like after my 1st game though. Oh well. It turned out that today was the day I play Shane. If I wouldve known that I wouldve saved my energy! Ever since we found out we were playing eachother we've been giving eachother death threats. lol We started to play but we got 2 points and the bell rang. Most people hadnt even started playing so the tournamant was postponed. Ooooh I am SO gonna beat him tomorrow. I always play best when Im full of energy and I'll be playin him first thing so I'll be ready for him. Thing is so will he. Dangit. Oh well. I'll show him. Hes goin DOWN! If you read this Shane... YOURE GOIN DOWN! HA!
So Biology wasnt too bad. It sux that thats the only class I have with Gabe and I cant even look at him! lol He sits behind me a couple seats. :( I couldnt help but think of him the WHOLE hour! Like non stop. Okay enough. lol
English was SO boring. We went to that assembly and I already knew what they were saying and crap so I wasnt really listening. So me and Chris passed notes the whole time. That was fun! He cracks me up. We are becoming really good friends, I think, he might not. But hey, its start.
The rest of the day was sooooo boring. Well except for after school at Courts. Oh geez those girls CRACK ME UP! I cant wait for tomorrow when we go to Courts during lunch to "freshin up". LOL Its gonna be great. Court says that they will be able to curl my hair but me and Liz know better. We tried one noght at her house. Yeah that went GREAT! If you cant notice the sarcasim in my voice... Grr. My hair like doesnt curl! At Formal my mom did it and I dont remember how but it took FOREVER and I know we dont have that kind of time.
Okay so I'm talking to Jessie right now and SHES A FREAKIN CRACK UP!!! She wants to run away to Mexico and start a Mariachi band with me! Omg she makes me laugh even when I'm in a bad mood! lol


WHO IS SHE, CHRIS???? Grrrr.... I'll find out someday! Im tellin you. I will. I will....
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Sunday, August 29th, 2004

Subject:I Hate This Feeling
Time:10:56 am.
Mood: shocked.
Music:1 year, 6 months - Yellowcard.
Okay so when I wrote in my journal saying I was over him, I was anything but right. I was so wrong its not even funny. I have to make a choice. I hope not too quickly though. I never thought Id be in this position where I have to choose between guys. I want something to happen with the one I was talking about before but I doubt that would happen soon. I said I'd moved on but a I was totally wrong. I wish it wasnt that hard. I dont wanna dound like one of those girls who are like "omg I have too many guys to choose from". I hate it when people do that. But it seems like thats the position I'm in. As I said, I never thought that would happen to ME. I mean yea, to some other girl. But me???? Never in my life would I have thought this would happen...
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Saturday, August 28th, 2004

Subject:It begins quite harmlessly....
Time:2:16 pm.
Mood: flirty.
Music:Part of Your World - Jessica Simpson.
Today had to be the best day in like forever!!! OMG! It was totally great! It started out just okay but then after 3rd hour I was literally smiling till I couldnt smile anymore! So after Biology Gabriel came up to me (JESUS! HE IS SO HOT!) He's like So.... can I call you sometime...? I was SO shocked! I never thought he even NOTICED me! When I saw him on the 1st day of school I'm like Holy Jesus this kid is CUTE! No sorry, HOT! lol So I gave him my number and he walked off. Lizette came up to me cuz she heard me talking to him. She circled around and ran up to me saying OMG Rachel! Who was that! He's so freakin hot! DID YOU GIVE HIM UR NUMBER?! Lol Oh wow, it was funny. A smile was plastered on my face after that.... I wish this had the little emoticons so I could show that I'm smiling right now. lol I never could wipe the smile off my face after that. :D Yay! My own emoticon! lol
So after school my mama and I went shopping at Kohls. We spent $194!!!! I got the most stuff too! lol I got a pair of pants, like 4 tops, some sandals, and a purse! Woohoo! OH! And a new swim suit!!!! Guess how much! $14.00!!! It was so cheap! An I accually like it too. Im getting sick of my other suit. Not the pattern but the strings that tie it. It bugs me. So I bought a new one. And I can wear it to Alyssa's tomorrow too! Thats gonna be fun! Well I should go. Ciao Y'all
Comments: Add Your Own.

Thursday, August 26th, 2004

Subject:My God
Time:6:52 pm.
Mood: confused.
Music:Believe - Yellowcard.
It seems everywhere I go lately everyones talking about religion. The pondering question is what religion are you? Catholic, Christian, Lutheran, Jewish.... etc. Ive never really belonged to a certain religion. My dad was Lutheran, as were his parents, My mom, a Jahovahs Witness. And my friends seem to be split up between Catholic, Christian, and Presbiterian(sry i spelled that wrong). I keep hearing that if you dont belong to a one religion that you just dont believe in God. Thats not true. I do believe in Him. I have for 15 years and 6 months. All my life... Yet for society its still not enough. I hear about everyones church life and how "omg if you are (insert religion) then you can do this..." stuff like that. Cant it be enough that I just believe? Pray? Follow Him? Live my life for Him? I guess not. But thats what everyones gonna have to deal with...
Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.

Wednesday, August 25th, 2004

Subject:I wanna be $!^@%3'$ girl! LoL
Time:4:06 pm.
Mood: happy.
Music:One Year, Six Months - Yellowcard.
Ive given up. Just plum given up. Im done. Through. Im not gonna spend the rest of my high school years wating for him. There are so many more people out there. Im finished seeing if he likes me back. Ive moved on. Not in my mind anymore. Just friends.
On a GREAT and happier note... Ive found someone new. Hehe. Not telling who it is. But if you can read my subject line then you know who it is. lol But hes a junior so I doubt I'll have ANY chance with him. I wont give up hope yet though. SoOoOoOoOo cute!!! Hes in my 2nd hour. Cheese and Rice hes HOT! lol GEEEZ! LoL And wow, 2 of my other friends like him too. Coincidence...? I THINK NOT! lol JK Anywho... Well thats about it! Today was grand! For once in a loooong time, I'm Happy...

I WON MY 1ST BADMITON MATCH!!! YEAH! Go me! I am such a bad winner... good loser... bad winner. LoL
Comments: Add Your Own.

Tuesday, August 24th, 2004

Subject:I'm still.... there
Time:8:44 pm.
Mood: annoyed.
Music:Chris Young - You Lead Me On.
My day wasnt all that bad. I havent been feeling the bast lately but I dunno, today was different. I wasnt totally sad all day. I think it helped that I met Colleen.
She is soooooo COOL! Shes hysterical! We had such a good time in pe today! We both totally suck at badmitton so we just kinda screwed around. Omg It was funny. We were startin to get tired so we just stood there and talked. The guys we were playin with were still goin and we were in th way cuz we just stood there. Even when the birdie came near one of us we just kept talking. It was pretty funny. Shes in Cantus. Man I miss choir. She kinda persueded me to join next year. Maybe I'd even get into Divae ::knock on wood:: Then I could be with everyone else next year. I was seriously thinking about it. I'd have to have an extra elective though. I hope I do. Cuz I miss singing. :(
After 2nd hour though I went back to thinking. I gotta stop doin that. I think too much into things and I never stop. It helps when I have another subject to think about. So I just need to think about other things until I can forget the "thing" or until it resolves itself. I dont think that will happen too soon so I'll have to deal...
I wish life was simple. Like movies. Where everything comes out right in the end. I just wish someone would write a movie where nothing turns out right. Like life really is. Its not all rainbows and butterflies. It sux. Its dark, dreary and murky. The should make a movie like that. I dont think it would make much money but hey, at least it would be truthful.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Sunday, August 22nd, 2004

Subject:my loooong survey
Time:9:28 pm.
Mood: contemplative.
Music:Way Away - Yellowcard.
THIRTEEN RANDOM THINGS YOU LIKE...
01) driving with katie
02) my baby Andrew
03) the red '96 Chevy Cavalier I saw online that i really would like
04) the movie Without a Paddle
05) singing when you think no ones listening
06) talking on the phone for hours with your best friend with absolutly nothing to talk about
07) playing video games against ur favorite person
08) lunchtime with all my closest friends
09) nites when we're at gregs doing nothing but having a GREAT time
10) the space under my bed where no one can find me
11) dreaming about what i wish would happen
12) quad riding and sitting around the fire pit up north with my family
13) serious, intimate conversations with someone who acually know what life is about
TWELVE MOVIES:
01) Bio-Dome
02) Fight Club
03) Without a Paddle
04) The Day After Tomorrow
05) Oceans 11
06) The Bourne Identity
07) The Mighty Ducks (all of them)
08) Spiderman
09) The Little Mermaid
10) The Italian Job
11) In the Army Now
12) The Notebook
ELEVEN GOOD BANDS/ARTISTS:
01) Queen
02) Simple Plan
03) Blink182
04) Boxcar Racer
05) Nickelback
06) Suburban Legends
07) System of A Down
08) Avril Lavigne
09) Yellowcard
10) Kansas
11) New Found Glory
TEN THINGS ABOUT YOU...PHYSICALLY:
01) straight hair
02) white legs
03) brown eyes
04) buck-toothed front teeth
05) long toes
06) short fingernails
07) short
08) brown hair
09) allowed to wear make-up now
10) kinda skinny
NINE GOOD FRIENDS:
01) Katie
02) Sara
03) Alyssa
04) Greg
05) Chris
06) Meghan
07) Andrew
08) Melissa
09) Courtney
EIGHT FAVORITE FOODS/DRINKS:
01) Gummy Bears
02) Water
03) doritos
04) Capri Sun
05) Oreos
06) mIlk
07) Lunchables!
08) kool-aid
SEVEN THINGS YOU WEAR DAILY:
01) hair tie on my left wrist or in my hair
02) my cross neckalce
03) pants/skirt
04) a shirt!
05) bra
06) undies! duh lol
07) belt
SIX THINGS THAT ANNOY YOU:
01) people who think they know everything
02) rap music
03) racist people
04) how everyone else can drive and i cant yet
05) when people blamed you for everything
06) just people in general
FIVE THINGS YOU TOUCH EVERYDAY:
01) hair
02) face
03) clothes
04) ON button to my cd player
05) food
FOUR SHOWS YOU WATCH:
01) Charmed
02) Friends
03) Law and Order
04) CSI
THREE THINGS YOU SAY EVERYDAY:
01) Geez
02) Hey
03) Cheese and Rice!
TWO THINGS THAT MAKE YOU SAD:
01) when you know you dont fit in anymore
02) that lonely feeling
ONE THING YOU LOVE:
01) when you know that they like you back
Comments: Add Your Own.

Tuesday, August 17th, 2004

Subject:These are my confessions...
Time:8:38 pm.
Mood: rejected.
Music:Only One - Yellowcard.
You know that feeling you get when you KNOW he doesnt like you? Yeah, I knew it for a while... but now it hit me. HARD. Its hopeless to keep liking him cuz I know hes never gonna feel the same. I just wish I knew why he doesnt like me. I just wanna know. Its not like I'd change for a guy. Hey, you never know, it could happen. But I dont think I'd do it for him. I just want an easy way out. A hidden door that I can just crawl into and escape everything. Life is just too much. Hell... love is too much. No I'm not calling what I feel love. I dont think I have ever really been in love, whatever the hell that is. Yeah, I've had really big crushes. But a while ago is when I closed my heart. I never opened it again. Not even to my family. I need my key. Ive got to move on and open up again. Life was so fun with an open mind and heart. Now.... its not. Its like listening to a sad song over and over again until its pounded into your heart. A sad, slow song. Not even my favorite upbeat song could cheer me up. Its like I'm addicted to the sad songs and I dont want to feel better. Thats how it feels to me sometimes, but others, I'd give ANYTHING just to get out.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Blurty for Skittles Taste the Rainbow.

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