Nicole's Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar] Nicole [ website | get the fuck out myspace ] [ userinfo | blurty userinfo ] [ calendar | blurty calendar ]

I am bottled, fizzy water [27 Jan 2004|03:05pm] [ mood | shocked ] I don't know whether to believe this or not .. but .. At lunch today, I was just sitting there talking to Patrick and Kyle and Natalie .. and all the sudden, Austin yells out "Nicooooooole!" ... and I thought nothing of it, then Austin yells out "Elisha likes you!" and then he did that again probably about two more times .. the whole time, I'm not even looking in their direction, I have my back turned. So a little later on, Austin gets up and walks by me on his way back and says "Ay yo .. Elisha likes you" .. and he kept walking. Then when lunch was over, I got up and went to talk to Ronnie and Max, and I look over to where Austin and Elisha are, and Austin looks up at me and says "There she is" to Elisha. .. What the fuck does this mean?! .. Is this for real or what? .. The confused, -Nick Gnar Kill (same entry also posted in LJ) 7 bottles of glue || Break my motherfucking heart

Drumroll Please ... [01 Dec 2003|12:39am] NEW LAYOUT MOTHERFUCKERS! bwahahah .. check it out, I was up really late making it. I for one, am in love with it. Tell me what you think. -Nick Gnar Kill 12 bottles of glue || Break my motherfucking heart

The smiling portrait of you, is still hanging on my frowning wall [08 Oct 2003|03:47pm] [ mood | confused ] [ music | Syd Barrett: "Baby Lemonade" ] So far this week has been lacking in the "interesting events" department. I didn't go to school on Monday or Tuesday because I just didn't feel like it. ... and when I went back today .. I dont know why .. but it felt weird. For about a week now, I've felt this way .. I dont know exactly how to describe it, but this morning .. everything pissed me off. I think its fear. I'll openly admit it .. I'm scared. I'm fucking scared of this whole situation right now. I feel like I'm jumping out of a plane without a parachute .. and I dont know where to go from here. Do I just stop where I am? or do I keep going .. trying to make more of an effort to bring me and Elisha together? I know I looked like complete crap today .. but he still sat there and stared at me, and that really makes me think .. it makes me wonder... I still cant believe he just showed up at my house on Friday .. maybe that means something? I wasnt even expecting him .. Bryan also told me today in math that Elisha told him about being over at my house Friday .. does that mean anything at all? Yeah, we've established the fact that he talks about me to Bryan .. and possibly others .. who the fuck knows .. So many things pop into my head too .. its all just way too insane, and takes way to much thought. I wish there was a simple solution for this. In another situation ... Little TJ was supposed to come get me later today .. and I dont know if he's still going to or not .. because I told him my dad was coming to get me and my brother. This sucks because I really wanted to go with (Little) TJ over to (Big) TJ's house .. automatically you know I'm gonna get some really good weed. Big TJ always has good shit. ... I need money .. blegh. I hate this situation. So hopefully we'll go over to his house tomorrow .. I hope. ;/ ( ... I love this song ) -|[Nicole]|- 12 bottles of glue || Break my motherfucking heart

Kiss, kiss *Elisha's* lips (so I changed the words .. big deal) [02 Oct 2003|05:39pm] [ mood | dazed ] [ music | Nirvana: "Opinion" ] daily horoscope for capricorn October 02, 2003 If things were going any better you would probably start to think it's all a dream. Pinch yourself if you need to, because it's all real. Some people will say it's luck but it's really hard work that got you to the top! Does that mean what I think it does? Hmm ... 2 bottles of glue || Break my motherfucking heart

I wanna rock n roll all night, and party everyday [15 Sep 2003|12:55am] [ mood | crazy ] [ music | The music in my head, and the ringing in my ears ] Wow man, This weekend was just so fucking awesome .. Looking back on it, I dont think it could have been any better. (Well, maybe a little bit considering i didnt see Elisha) But yeah, Friday night ... that was cool. If you wanna hear about it, just read the previous entry. Saturday started off kind of slow, I was just hangin around the house cause my mom and brother had went to the movies. So I was talking to Hollywood, and we made plans .. and I ended up going and hanging out over at her house, which was schway. Dude .. Its not fucking cool .. her little brother has this friend, Zach I think, and he supposedly "plays guitar". Well .. the kid cant play for shit, and he has a warlock .. a motherfuckin B.C Rich Warlock! Damn. So we were hanging out in Hollywood's basement (Me, Hollywood, Her brother, and his friend) .. and me and Hollywood were playing out guitars, and everything was schway. Her brother goes to his drumset, and he's playing these little beats, and we're all just jamming together .. then her brother's friend is watching me and Hollywood play and he just goes "You suck" .. I thought "OK, WHAT THE FUCK?!" .. so I looked at him and said "If we suck so much, then you get over here and play" .. after that he pretended like he didnt hear what I said. Pisses me off man. Hollywood's dad went and got us all chinese food from Mr. Eggroll, which was very schway I might add. After that Her brothers annoying friend finally left, Hollywood convinced her parents to let her come back to my house .. which took awhile, and was a long and strenuous battle .. not. Hollywoods dad went and got "The Shining" and me and Hollywood, her dad, and her brother watched "The Shining" in the living room. Such a wicked movie. After "The Shining" went off, We went back to my house .. and Hollywood's dad let her drive the Tempo .. which I will admit is a very kickass old car. When we got to my house we watched The beginning of "Wayne's World" and then decided that we didnt feel like watching the whole thing at the moment, So we were so tied up with that "ADD kid joke" that we actually wanted to go ride bikes .. weird eh? So we went on a search for bikes .. no luck. Every bike we found had flat tires, or missing seats .. What do you expect from a family of skateboarders? No bikes. So we just walked down the street and smoked. When we saw Phillip's car leave my driveway, we walked to the tree in my yard, and sat down by it .. so it looked like we had been in the yard this whole time. Sneaky .. not (really). So after that around 2:30am (much later than usual) We decided to walk up to Elisha's neighborhood. On the way, we stole LakePorts Flags, and have plans to burn them. When we walked past the gas station, Hollywood stole a Pizza Hut "Now Hiring" sign. While we were walking, Hollywood said "We should tape this sign to someones door" .. then she paused and said "Yeah .. since we have tape and all that" .. I dont know why, but i thought that was so fucking hilarious, and I fell over laughing in the street. I was about to piss myself, I was laughing so hard. There were a whole bunch of orange traffic barrells by Elisha's neighborhood from the construction, so we put four in the middle of the road, and stuck the "Now Hiring" sign up in the middle. What a masterpeice, You know that so caused traffic. Walking down the street in Elisha's neighborhood, we stopped on a hill and sat on a speedbump, and decided to try to burn one of LakePorts flags. ... Well .. the motherfucker wouldnt burn, so we were sitting there, just being nuissances .. When all the sudden we hear a loud "BANG!" .. I looked at Hollywood and said "Dude .. that definatly wasnt a leave falling" .. and she said "yeah .. it wasnt a squirrel either" .. hah .. we started laughing all over again. Never a dull moment when its the two of us, I swear. When we finally got down to Elisha's house we didnt do much .. except smoke. So yeah. They covered up our graffiti from the summer .. which was very dissapointing and sad .. that shit looked cool. What fuckers. When we got back to my house we just passed out in the downstairs bedroom .. and thats it for saturday. Sunday .. was by far THE MOST wickedly schway sunday ever. We woke up around 12 in the afternoon .. much earlier than I thought we would, and we just sort of chilled for awhile in the living room. Well .. Hollywood's dad came and got her, cause she had to go to her confirmation class for church .. which she was forced to go to. And while she was there, her dad called my house, and asked me if I wanted to go to the KISS/Aerosmith concert with them tonight. So naturally I was like "schyeah!" .. so It was decided that I was going. And at around 5:30 pm, Hollywood and her dad came and got me .. and then we went to go get a friend of Hollywood's mom, Amy .. she's pretty cool. Holy shit! when we got to the concert .. It was so wicked. I thought that I would never get to see KISS in concert .. I mean i've always dreamed of living in the 70's and seeing all my favorite bands that I most definatly cannot see now. But when the KISS curtain dropped, and I heard "Detroit Rock City" play .. I went insane .. and no doubt about it .. Hollywood was going insane with me. Motherfuck .. that kicked so much ass .. KISS puts on the best live show. Gene Simmons just so fucking totally rocked the motherfucking stage when he spat blood, and then flew up over the stage .. Such a wicked bass player. When Aerosmith came on, it was a little different, but just as excellent. They were just so fucking amazing .. Stephen Tyler has so much fucking energy, he was swinging around, doing backflips all over the stage. Oh man it was wicked. After the show was over, We were driving back .. I felt so calm, mellow, excited, tired, hyper, and dazed all at the same time. That was definatly an experience I wont forget in this lifetime. I have my ticket from the concert, and I'm gonna scan it and put it in my next entry .. and the shirt I got .. Shit, its fucking wicked .. I'll take a picture or something .. So yeah .. Now I'm just sitting here at 1:27am .. and I should be sleeping, because I have school tomorrow. I am anticipating seeing Elisha. I am so going to have his babies. Nicole signed off at 1:28am 4 bottles of glue || Break my motherfucking heart

These are the best days of our lives ... [13 Sep 2003|12:43pm] [ mood | content ] [ music | None ] First things first .. I need to apologize to Hollywood .. I feel fucking awful. Dude, your getting an apology .. and you know thats rare, because I hardly ever give out aplogies .. But I feel shitty about ruining Hollywood and Zero day .. David just kinda showed up at my house un-expectedly .. I thought I was gonna have to meet them up there .. but I ended up not having too. I'm not pissed at you, I never was pissed at you .. and I hope your not pissed at me. Tards 4 life. Ok, I feel a little better now. But Yesterday ended up being really cool. I dont really remember what went on in school until lunch .. heh. We were all sitting there, and Josh had his elbows up on the table, and his arms were closed together vertically infront of his face, and his fists were held together at the top .. So all the sudden I look over at him, and he sticks his head in between the spaces of his arms, and he struggles but his head pops out of the hole .. and he just sits there like that and I said "Hahaha, dude Josh, you look like your giving birth to yourself" .. and Matt, Ryan, Josh and Elisha cracked up laughing. And Ryan said "Josh, try to get your shoulders through" and I said "Hah! yeah right! .. he'd break his fucking back." .. Elisha made the cutest fucking face while he was laughing .. I wish I had my camera with me. Ryan told a joke at lunch that was really fucking funny .. atleast I thought it was .. Ryans Joke: "How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?" We all looked around clueless and said "I dont know" So Ryan proceeded to tell the answer .. "Wanna go ride bikes?" HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA. I'm sorry if you dont get that, or dont find it as funny as I do .. actually .. no, I'm not sorry. After school, I was just kind of hanging around the house, waiting to hear word from David .. and all the sudden he shows up at my house like "Dude, are you ready to go" .. so I was like .."Uh .. Yeah sure" So we went to the fair, and my mom and brother came up there later. Dude .. It ended up being me, David .. and Sam. But you know .. I never really gave her a chance before that .. she's pretty cool. And I will admit I had lots of fun with them. We rode some rides .. and then coming off of one, I turned to David and said "Dude .. do you know what would be fucking awesome?" and he goes "what?" .. I said .. "To get stoned, and then ride one of these rides." He was like .. "Holy shit Nicole, your crazy." haha. So when we got on the Ferris Wheel .. sure enough when we were stopped at the very top .. I took out my pipe, and smoked a bowl on the ride. Heh .. I felt like a female patrick, and when I said "Dude, why do I feel like patrick?" .. David just laughed. Needless to say I was buzzed .. So we proceeded to walk around and shit .. rode some more rides .. When we ran out of money we came home .. which was around 11:30pm .. So when I got home I did a little bit of writing .. watched Waynes World .. and passed out. And that was my day. Nicole signed off at 1:00 PM 1 bottles of glue || Break my motherfucking heart

I work good, and I work fine .. but first take care of head. [09 Sep 2003|08:47pm] [ mood | mellow ] [ music | The Ramones: "Gabba Gabba Hey" ] Well .. this morning was nice. I waked and baked. I came down the stairs into the kitchen and my mom just laghed .. and said "I can so smell that on you." Then I went to school .. let me tell you, that place is so fucking lame .. I dont even remember anything that happend this morning .. the only thing that was running through my mind was "Shit man, I cant wait to go home and get blazed." .. So naturally, this is going to be kinda short. When Ryan gets back to school tomorrow, I'm gonna set up a deal with Kovitch and try to get half an ounce for this weekend .. should be great. Today was the most kickass day for skating, I spent some time out on the ramp, which was great .. because I so needed to. In World History Sixth period .. all Me and Stephen talked about was skateboarding (Like everyday .. but still) We're trying to convince Mrs. Bachman to let us watch a skate video in there one day, so far .. no luck. Before sixth period when I was walking to class .. Kevin comes walking up to me and hugs me .. and I said "Dude wtf? get off me" and he was like "oh come on Nicole" .. and then he like got right in my face and tried to fucking kiss me .. Holy hell! .. Yeah .. and at lunch I sat there with Matt and Elisha, and talked about weed the whole time with Matt .. trying to give him growing advice. Elisha needs to fucking talk around me .. all he does is sit there and stare at me. Damn .. I guess its up to me to initiate conversation .. He used to come and talk to me last year .. but when he told me stuff I always sounded un-interested .. which is NOT true, I was very interested (trust me) .. I just never knew what to say to him .. so he would leave me alone for a couple of days .. then come and try talking to me again .. always about the most random stuff .. The other week at the morning table Josh said "i like chicken a lot" .. and I said "Dude, hell yeah .. chicken rules" .. and then Elisha just stood there all wide eyed, and looked at me and then said " .. I love chicken" .. and had this amazed look on his face. hah .. anyway .. yeah .. Tomorrow should be good. -|[nicole]|- 1 bottles of glue || Break my motherfucking heart

What else should I say? Everyone is gay. [08 Sep 2003|09:39pm] [ mood | content ] [ music | Sublime: "Smoke 2 Joints" .. Oh the memories that song holds ] Today was fucking boring. Ryan is suspended until Wednesday .. which sucks major ass for me. He was grounded all weekend too .. so naturally we didnt hang out. Oh yeah .. Josh is suspended too .. but Ryan, being my best friend and all, I'm a little more concerned about him. Holy damn, today went by so slow. I thought the day was never going to end. At lunch .. once again it was too quiet and rather boring with Josh and Ryan gone .. So I sat there with Matt and Elisha. I realized something .. Elisha is really quite shy around me, He had his head tilted down towards the table, as if he was looking at it .. but out of the corner of his eye, he was staring at me. I swear .. I love him so much, and since my conclusion (about him being shy around me and all) .. i've realized if I dont take the next step myself .. nothing will happen. So know this, Yes we will go out .. Yes, it will be soon ... I just dont know how soon. I guess i'll just have to bide my time, and wait for the best moment .. possibly while we're getting high together .. no? hmm .. yes. Anyway .. In sixth period .. Kevin was once again telling me how much he loved me .. what the fuck is with him? Stephen was sitting next to me, and we were talking .. like we do everyday, and Kevin looks at me and says "Hey baby" .. and I just sit there pretending I didnt here him, so he pushes on Stephens shoulder to move him back, and says "Move back stephen, I want to see my girl" ... Ok, seriously .. we are not going out. I made the mistake of laughing at something he said too .. because He saw/heard me laughing and said "Oh, you like that huh?" .. What .. the .. fuck. Getting home was the best part of my day, I got to smoke a big fat bowl as soon as i got upstairs to my room .. which was excellent .. I still have that joint of dank from Justin's mom .. she has really good weed .. I was thinking about saving it for when I was with Elisha .. but the temptation to smoke it is getting unbearable. .. I guess I should ask him soon then. We'll see. Psh .. Fuck .. tomorrow is going to be another boring day .. I can tell. Damn I cant wait until Ryan gets back. -|[nicole]|- 3 bottles of glue || Break my motherfucking heart

There's nothing on the top, but a bucket and a mop .. and an illustrated book about birds [06 Sep 2003|10:57pm] [ mood | amused ] [ music | Some movie in the living room ] This is going to be a long entry, I have two days to talk about .. so yeah. Yesterday morning at school in the commons area, me and Ryan and David were sitting at the end of our table. Josh, TJ, Stephen and a whole bunch of others were more in the middle section of the table, but anyway .. the three of us were sitting there talking, when all the sudden josh throws a carton of milk down at us, and it hits my notebook. David goes "What the fuck josh?! .. that could have busted all over Nicole and her stuff, god man" so David threw it back kind of pissed off. But when David threw it back, it hit TJ, TJ got mad and threw it back .. so David threw it back and said .. "alright .. thats enough". After him saying that .. i dont know why Josh did this, but he threw the milk carton back .. and hit landed near Ryan. Ryan got so pissed, he picked up the milk carton and said "God Josh .. fuckin stop dude" .. So he throws it as hard as he can back down the end of the table, and it busts all over Josh, TJ, the table, and Stephen. So Josh obviously thought it was a game or something .. because he picked up the carton, and walked towards Ryan with it, and said "Dude your fuckin dead" So he squeezes the Milk Carton, and the milk flys everywhere, all over me, David, Ryan, the table, Patrick, my notebook .. everything. So Ryan sits there with this pissed off look on his face for about 5 seconds .. then he gets up and just starts swinging at Josh, punching and pushing .. So Coach Fleetwood and Ms. DeMeyer come over and try to break it up .. So they walked them to the office, and I didnt see either of them again all day. So then at lunch me and Matt were sitting they saying how weird today felt without Ryan and Josh .. for me it felt more weird without Ryan because I see him more, and he's one of my brothers from another mother. But lunch was kind of cool, because Elisha sat right across from me, cause normally Ryan sits there. But I was turned facing Matt talking to him .. but everytime I looked over, Elisha was staring at me, and at one point .. he was staring at "the twins" too (by the way if you dont get that .. i meant my tits). Man .. one of us needs to make a move .. this is getting rediculous, even though i do like the attention I get from him. But anyway .. Just yeah. After school Hollywood came over, and we went to my dad's house .. which was cool, because he took us to this bowling place where it was all dark .. and they had weird trippy lights, a bar, and a whole bunch of cool shit. So me and Hollywood refused to wear the gay shoes .. and we were bowling in our regular shoes for awhile .. but someone saw us and called the manager down to our lane .. and he said "did you girls get bowling shoes to wear?" and Hollywood looked at me and she said "Ohhhh .. Yeahhhh." hah .. so we had to wear the gay shoes. There were spinny stools ... So I would sit on them before it was my turn to bowl, and get all dizzy .. Once after I'd just spun around, I grabbed the bowling ball, "staggered" up to the lane, pulled my hane back getting ready to throw the ball .. and while my hand was behind me, I just dropped the ball .. hahaha .. I dont know why .. but it was so fucking funny. Probably because I looked drunk. So yeah .. after that, my dad took us to Frontera, we ate, then went home .. fun fun. Then today we went to circuit city, I bought The Wall CD, since my dad lost his album. And Hollywood bought Piper at the Gates Of Dawn .. Also by Pink Floyd. After that my dad brought us back to my house, and Hollywoods mom came and got us, and took us to Little Five Points. Holy shit I love that place .. I feel so at home when I go there. We ate, and then went over to Junkmans Daughter .. one of my favorite stores, and I ended up buying two shirts. A Ramones (Rocket To Russia) shirt, and An Oxymoron shirt. They both look really kick ass. I spent 38 dollars in JD, so when we went over to Wax and Facts .. I was like "Ok, dude .. Hollywood .. do not let me spend any money in there .. dont even let me look very long .. and if i do, just smack my hand and say 'Nope'" .. So I didnt get anything in there. We went back to Hollywoods house after that, and sat on the roof and played guitar .. hah .. we had a concert on the roof, which was wicked .. because I'm pretty sure you could hear it through the neighborhood. Once it got dark, we went up to Kohls with Hollywoods mom to reek some havoc, while she looked for suitcases. As soon as we walked in I saw the wheelchair, and I got in it, and took off. We got the idea to go buy the womens underwear section, and put thongs and bra's all over the Male mannequins .. holy shit did that look hilarious. Then we went over to the boys section, and put girls underwear on the boy mannequins head .. and we walked off .. but when we went back by it, there was some three year old girl playing with the mannequins, and she pulled the underwear down his face, and around his neck and said "Look at his necklace" .. and I just lost it laughing, because then she took it off of the mannequin and put it around her neck .. Holy shit. We saw these kick ass looking lava lamps, so Hollywood went over to them and she was pulling one down, and i said .. dude, you should break one open .. and about that time .. she accidently dropped one, and got this "Oh shit!" look on her face, and we just hauled ass away from that section of the store, and went and sat outside until her mom got done. Overall .. I'd say its been an eventful weekend, and I dont know whats going on tomorrow .. because Ryans grounded. David said he was coming over here with his bass when he got back from stephens .. but we'll see. I might just call Elisha ... hmmm .. 5 bottles of glue || Break my motherfucking heart

It's only teenage wasteland [04 Sep 2003|11:17pm] [ mood | curious ] [ music | Pink Floyd : "Goodbye Blue Sky" ] Ok, well yeah .. All you guys can go ahead and label me a bad person after this .. I dont care. It was destiny that this happend. Well, see .. I was supposed to have 60 dollars, I only had 20, so i needed 40. My original plan was to sell some weed to Cunico for 40, and then use the 60. Well, I got to school and asked Cunico if he still wanted to buy some weed, and he said "Nah, it was ok" so I thought .. fuck! .. I'm screwed .. where the fuck am I going to get 40 dollars? So get tired of thinking of ways, and I just think to myself .. "God, why cant I just find 40 dollars lying around somewhere?" ... So I walk into my second period class and go to the back of the room where I sit, and I look and see that theres a wallet lying right next to my seat. I thought "No .. fucking .. way" So I picked it up and looked in it .. and sure enough, 41 dollars was in the wallet. Talk about guilty conscience .. I decided that chances are, whoever lost it was going to come running in the classroom in 5 minutes, and claim it .. so I figured I'd just wait around awhile to see if anyone would claim it .. No one did. So I kept it. Ryan was waiting for me after second period like always .. and I was a combination of freaked out, exstatic, and dazed, and of course I told Ryan about it because he's my best friend. So when we were on the elevator he says "Dude .. god wants you to have that weed" .. What fucking luck. Before lunch I was walking with Chris(tine) and I asked her if my hair looked bad. (Its weird how I only care about how it looks when I know I'm going to see Elisha) And she said "Nah, it looks fine." so I said "Ok," and she goes "Why?" .. I said "Because Elisha always stares at me, and its probably because I look like crap or something" .. And sure enough, when I was walking to the table, he was staring right at me .. watching me walk to the table. So I turned to Chris(tine) and said "See what I mean?" and she was like "Haha .. yeah". So when I sat down he was still staring at me, then Ryan came over to the table, and I was asking him if he saw Nick, and he said "No, but Elisha will know" So Ryan asks Elisha some stuff about Nick, and then Jacob sat down and was like "Sup guys? What are you talking about? .. i want to know" or something like that. I turned to him and said "Do you know where Nick is going to be after school?" and Jacob said "No, why?" and before I could say anything Ryan yelled out "Cause he's going to fuck her." .. My reaction was just like "What?! .. uh-uh", and I looked over at Elisha, and he had this far off, distant look on his face, kind of like he was trying to listen to what I was saying .. then when Ryan said that, the look on his face just got .. I dont know how exactly to describe it. He just kind of sunk in or whatever. I'm sensing that maybe that was some jealousy .. I doubt it, but who the fuck knows .. Anyway, then he went back to staring at me. Surprise, Surprise. The way he goes about this just confuses the hell out of me (like if he likes me .. the way he shows it is really fucking weird). I mean damn, if he feels the same way, he should just fucking tell me, instead of be all nervous and shit like David says .. I mean come on .. the dudes never had a girl friend before, so everyones constantly telling me he likes me, hes probably just too nervous to say anything, that or either he's not sure what to do .. Fuck it, he needs to just take a chance, i did it once, and I'm still living. Plus its not like he would get rejected anyway .. psh .. He is one person I will never understand. 2 bottles of glue || Break my motherfucking heart

We're just two lost souls swimmin' in a fish bowl [03 Sep 2003|06:55pm] [ mood | anxious ] [ music | Gray Matter: "Burn No Bridges" ] Well ... Hmm .. today. This morning Nick saw me in the commons area and he yells: "Nicole!" .. so I turned around like "Holy crap! what?" and he was like "stay there, dont move" .. so he walked over to me and he said "Do you want to buy some weed?" .. I was relieved after that. So I told him I would. So yeah .. thats good. We had yet ANOTHER fire drill this week .. and once again, Elisha was out there .. looking sexy as always. H was sitting over on some stairs by himself. I wanted to go talk to him so bad .. but after remembering how dumb i must have looked yesterday .. I decided not to. At lunch, we were all being stupid as usual .. which is great. I flicked a grain of salt in Josh's eye .. heh .. purley accidental. I was talking with Ryan about buying weed from Nick, and Ryan said "Hell yeah dude .. thats the shit that Pat smokes most of the time, and look at him." .. so i decided that it was for sure that I was going to buy this. Man .. I am so fucking confused .. why does Elisha do this to me? .. He'll like sit and stare at me, like today .. he was staring at me, so I looked up, and when I looked over at him .. he glanced away really fast. What? like I don't know your sitting there looking at me? .. damn .. I can feel his eyes watching me .. its so weird. Does anyone else ever get that feeling? (not nessarily with Elisha, but with anyone at all) Anyway .. even though it does make me nervous .. I will admit that I like it. .. Whatever it is. When I got home Hollywood was already at my house, so I came inside and we were just hangin out .. and then Ryan calls. So i picked up the phone, and he says: "Nicole?" .. My response: "Yeah?" ... Ryan says: "Here, talk to Nick about the weed" .. so I said "Ok" .. and then Nick comes on the phone, and he says "Yeah, we're going to double the quarter" .. So I'm all happy and I said "Ok cool .. I'll bring the money either tomorrow or friday" .. and Nick said "Ok, cool" ... So yeah .. I have 20 right now .. and after I sell to Cunico tomorrow .. i'll have 65 .. which will be good, because I'll have more than enough for my weed .. Yippee .. I'm Happy. I just dont know if i should plan to ask Elisha over .. because when I plan things .. they never go right .. .So I was thinking of springing it on him like an hour before or something .. I dont know. I just hope this weekend turns out Ok. -|[Nicole]|- 1 bottles of glue || Break my motherfucking heart

Oh no Love, You're not alone. [02 Sep 2003|11:22pm] [ mood | tired ] [ music | Modest Mouse: "Shit Luck" ] Now today .. Hmm .. Good shit, and bad shit. This morning after Homeroom, I saw Elisha in the commons area .. and he was staring at me. So I thought to myself "Ok .. he's staring at me .. good sign for me to go talk to him." So I got close to him .. then I started thinking "No, no Nicole, keep walking." .. but I turned the corner and stopped at him anyway. (See how well I listen?) So I asked him "Were you home yesterday?" and he said "Naw," and I said "Oh, cause me and Ryan tried calling you" and he said "Yeah ... you and Ryan were supposed to call me, but I wasnt home." and He said some other stuff, but while he was talking to me he was playing with something on his book bag, so I kind of watched him play with that instead of listening .. I just stood there in a daze. He probably thought I was high. So I acted like I didnt know he was supposed to come over and I said "Oh yeah Ryan said something about you coming over and smoking" and Elisha was like "Yeah, I thought you guys were doing it saturday or something" .. and I said "Oh ..well I was just asking" and then I walked off .. didnt even give him a chance to say anything .. if he was going to. So then later at lunch, He kept staring at me .. and I kept thinking "Psh, yeah .. probably because I look like crap with a capital C" .. but everyone else seemed to think I looked fine. So I dont know what his deal is .. Why would he want to sit and stare at me? .. Some things I'll never know. In the hallway after 3rd Period, I was standing with David and Stephen, and David was telling us about what happend at the lake. Holy shit its hilarious. See .. David spent friday and saturday at the Lake with Billy and his family .. so David and Billy took the boat out to go tubing, and Billy was driving. So David got on the tube .. and Billy starts going 70 to 80 miles an hour across the lake .. and davids like flapping around on the tube yelling "Duuuude, Billy slow the fuck down" .. Billy goes "what?! dude i cant hear you" .. so Billy speeds up to get over this huge wave .. and it smacks into David on the Tube .. and the pressure from the wave pulls David's shorts off of him .. So here's David flapping around stark ass naked on a tube screaming "Billy! Billy! Stop the fucking boat, I'm nakeeeed!" HAHAHAHHAHAHA .. oh my damn .. When David told me that I could not stop laughing. I could so picture it, but then again I didnt want to, because it was David naked. Hah. Then in 6th Period .. I was sitting there talking to Stephen, and all the sudden Kevin says "Nicole ... I've known you for a long time .. will you go out with me?" and I was like "No" and Kevin said "Nicole, will you go out with me" and i looked at him and said "Kevin, no" and he kept on asking. And then Ms. Bachman comes over near us and tells Kevin to get started on his work, and Kevin goes "Me and Nicole are going out" .. i was like .. dude .. what the fuck, we are not. He was like "I love you Nicole, you hate me dont you?" .. I was getting really annoyed .. then when Zach got up (Zach sits infront of me) Kevin sat in Zachs seat, and turned around and grabbed my hand. Holy fuck i wanted to just .. i dont know. Then he was telling Stephen and TJ that I was coming over to his house .. what a fucktard. Anyway .. I'm tired as fuck .. so im going to go dream about Elisha .. heh heh .. how fucking lame. -|[Nicole]|- 4 bottles of glue || Break my motherfucking heart

In the midnight hour, she cried "more more more" [01 Sep 2003|09:25pm] [ mood | high ] [ music | Pink Floyd: "Comfortably Numb" ] Today was fun as hell. We got so high. The beginning of the day was sort of lacking, but around 3 Ryan called, and came over. For awhile it was just me and Ryan hanging out .. We smoked like 4 bowls then went and watched "The Wall", and then called Hollywood .. So she said shed be over after she ate dinner .. So we called Patrick, and he came over. Once Pat got here, we rolled a joint, and smoked it on my couch .. then we smoked a couple more bowls, and we went outside and skated. Pat sat in the swing and smoked. Then Hollywood came over, and we all sat in the driveway and smoked, and talked about sesame street. I dont really remember it all, just some. Then it got damn hot outside, so we came in and my mom had made chocolate ice cream, so we all sat at the counter and ate it .. then we started getting the giggles, and acting really silly, because all the sudden Pat goes "You know the funny things about mints?" and we were like "Naw what?" he said "heh heh heh .. they're minty .. why dont they just call them mintys?" and we all started laughing like "wtf?" but it was funny. So then Ryans mom came and got him, and it was just me and Hollywood and Pat .. so we sat on the couch in the living room and played guitar. My dad called when i was talking with Patrick and Hollywood .. and when i answered the phone, instead of saying Hello, I sniffed .. and then waited for a response, then i was like "Oh .. hey hello dad" and he said "Hey Nicole" and I said "Nothing." and he said "whats up?" and i said "Oh .. what? nothing .. heh heh heh heh " and my dad was like "Whats going on over there?" cause he heard Pat laughing like an idiot. and i was like .. oh yeah my friends are here. Holy crap .. He could so tell I was stoned. Anyway, so yeah .. today was fun as hell, even though none of us ever got in touch with Elisha .. he probably thinks we all ditched him again, which really upsets me .. so I'm really going to make an effort to hang out with him next weekend .. fuck this being shy shit .. I'm gonna do it. 2 bottles of glue || Break my motherfucking heart

Anyone can see .. Nothing really matters .. to me. [01 Sep 2003|01:46pm] [ mood | happy ] [ music | Iron Maiden: "Prowler" ] Well, well, well .. I got bored last night. So I made myself a new layout .. I just got tired of the whole "staritis thing" .. So now its Jimi Hendrix, If you have any respect for Jimi, then you'll appreciate my layout. I might change it again soon .. but i'll give it a couple of weeks. Anyway .. Ryan, David, Billy and Elisha .. (i think) .. are coming over here around 3 when my mom gets back, So i have to go clean my room, which is gay, its not like they care about it being messy. So yeah .. I'll update later after they leave. -|[Nicole]|- 1 bottles of glue || Break my motherfucking heart

You rearrange me 'till I'm sane .. [30 Aug 2003|04:51pm] [ mood | ecstatic ] [ music | The Richmond Sluts: "Drive Me Wild" ] Anywho .. Long time since I last updated, and a lot of shit has happend .. I dont even know where I left off, and I apologize for the lack of commenting. This week was so kick ass. I got the best weed i've ever smoked in my life from Kovitch .. there's a shitload of it, I have a quarter plus a gram .. and it only cost me thirty .. i was like ... "Holy Hell, thanks man" .. On Thursday, I was walking with Ryan, and he decided to ask Elisha to hang out with us since I'm too much of a pussy to do so. So he went up to Elisha and said "Hey, you wanna smoke with us this weekend?" and Elisha said "Uhh, This weekend? I dont know .. where?" and Ryan said "At Nicole's" and then Elisha said "Yeah .. which day?" and Ryan goes, "Eh, we'll call you .. or I'll just get Nicole too, and you can meet her up at the gas station" .. and Elisha said "OK, cool" .. In the meantime I was hiding .. so I dont think Elisha saw me. Anyway .. Thursday was great. On Friday, Hollywood came over .. and she brought her Airsoft gun. We sat down at the edge of my driveway, got in the ditch and hid behind the brick entry way things at the end of my driveway .. and shot cars. It was great. After my mom got home, She took me and Hollywood and my brother to KFC. I fucking love that place. Some stupid preppie kids came in there ... and this one chick was busting out of her clothes .. it was 9 oclock at night, and she had her sun glasses on her head .. Now dont get me wrong, wearing your sunglasses at night (on your face) is totally cool with me .. but on the top of your head? .. So me and Hollywood started singing that song "I wear my sunglasses at night" .. and my mom started laughing. They were with some big preppie guy with abercromby shorts on, and a blink 182 shirt on (hahahha) .. and he was playing hacky sack .. now automatically, i got pissed .. because i love playing hacky sack .. and he totally sucked at it. So I yelled "Oh man! .. That is so Punk Rock!" .. and he looked up .. and put the hacky sack away .. all I could do was laugh. Anyway .. We embarrassed the hell out of them, and I bet they were glad when we left. Then my mom took us to blockbuster .. They hardly had anything me and Hollywood wanted to see .. so we just got How High again. ... We never ended up watching it. When we got back to my house, We kind of chilled for a little while, Then we decided to go to my Nanny and Papa's house next door and get "The Wall" from my aunt. After we left .. we walked up to the gas station because we had some things we needed to get .. So we waited around up there for atleast and hour and a half .. maybe more. I finally got Ryan his ciggarettes (Like I promised) and Hollywood got her's, and some for luke. After finally getting the ciggarettes .. We walked back to my house, sat in the living room and chilled. We watched "The Wall" .. I can remember seeing that movie when i was really little .. probably about 2 years old .. and it scared the crap out of me .. its amazing how your perspective of things change, because now .. the movie just calms me down .. and I always feel like smoking a bowl once its over. So yeah .. we watched that .. then we decided to go outside and smoke .. (It was about 1:30 in the morning) So here we are, laying in my driveway .. Hollywoods smoking .. i decided not to .. and we;re just looking up at the stars ... Then all the sudden we see this lights down at the end of my driveway, and hear a bus like automobile slowing down, and then speeding up .. slowing down, and then speeding up. I got a little freaked out and thought it was prisoners out working late .. but then Hollywood made an inference and said that they probably werent aloud to be out this late working on a suburban area .. I agreed with her, so we just layed back down .. Then all the sudden in my neighbors driveway, an ambulence pulls up and we realize that thats what was down there making all that noise. And it was so weird .. because they took the man away .. he didnt look like he was in pain .. nothing looked injured .. his wife didnt look said, she just looked .. well .. normal (whatever that is). And they didnt leave right away .. they would have done that if it was an emergency .. So when they finally left, You could see the man through the windows in the back.. and he looked all .. i dont know how to describe it, but he was sitting up, and he had this dazed, happy look on his face .. So me and Hollywood think he went insane. Totally understandable. We hate them all. So after that .. we layed out there for a little while .. but then started getting bit by bugs .. so we went back in the house. We were so tired, we didint even go out walking that night .. we just sort of passed out in the bedroom downstairs .. and I tell you what .. I had the weirdest dream last night .. but if you really want to know about it .. contact me and I'll tell you if your absolutely sure you want to hear about it. So this morning we woke up .. went to go pick up my shirt from fed-ex .. ate lunch .. and took Hollywood home. Ryan called about three times while I was gone .. and he called again when I got out of the shower .. I just got done talking to him as a matter of fact .. And we decided that it would be better if we hung out on monday instead of today .. So i told him to call Elisha and tell him so he wouldnt think we were leaving him out again. And if all goes well .. then Elisha will come over here monday .. God I fucking hope so. I want to have his children .. hahah (but not right now) -|[ Nicole ]|- 7 bottles of glue || Break my motherfucking heart

One pill makes you larger, and one pill makes you small .. [23 Aug 2003|07:43pm] [ mood | lazy ] [ music | CKY: Promiscuous Daughter ] So yeah, when I got home me and Hollywood got out the alcohol and smoked cigs. We caught caught by my mom .. but nothing really happend. You know, even though we didnt have any weed, Friday night still ended up being OK. So we went up to my room and wrote some songs .. And then I decided to call Elisha. So I did. His mom answered and said he was asleep because he felt sick. Awww. I hope he feels better. It's so cute .. I wanted to take him soup or something. I love him so much. After that we got hungry, so Hollywoods dad brought us KFC (which fucking rocks) While we ate our chicken we watched some of the FLiP "Sorry." video. Oh man it was weird, I'm not sure how to describe it, but I felt like Elisha. Me and him have so much in common .. I even noticed our ears look the same. (hah hah hah Hollywood) My mom didnt end up coming home until 1 am .. So it would have been perfect for Elisha to come over (Next time, I know not to be such a pussy about it) So after my mom went to bed, me and Hollywood went walking. This time we walked somewhere new, We went down the dirt road to look for the bridge. It was scary and fun as hell, all at the same time. We had to sneak past phillips house, and walk forever down the dirt road. We walked past a stream, things were so beautiful, I thought about Elisha non-stop. The path kept getting narrower and darker, In Hollywoods words: "Dude, we're falling deeper into the Rabbit Hole." We got to this heavily forressted area, deep dark woods. We werent even a quarter of the way through the woods when we saw an abandoned refridgerator, and at that moment, both of us got kind of scared .. So we walked a little bit farther down .. and heard a noise. We were scared shitless. So we hauled ass out of those woods so fast. Once we got back out on the dirt road with the feilds on the sides, and the woods dissapeared from around us .. We werent scared anymore, so we stopped and looked at the stars, and of course .. I thought of Elisha. I see his name in the stars. (ok that was lame .. so fucking shoot me if you dont like it .. thats how i feel about him.) We stopped at the stream and had a smoke. There were three cigs, and two of us .. it was a sign that Elisha was supposed to be there. We got back to my house around 4 am. and passed out in the downstairs bedroom. When we were laying there Hollywood says: "Dude, I didnt want to tell you this while we were walking but do you remember that refridgerator?" and I said "Yeah?" .. She said she was afraid that there was a dead body in it. After that was said ... ... I was freaked out. Anyway, after that we passed out. But I felt safe because i had Elisha's picture under my pillow. 2 bottles of glue || Break my motherfucking heart

Whatever it is, that boy put a spell on me [21 Aug 2003|04:48pm] [ mood | ecstatic ] [ music | Jimi Hendrix: "Burning Of The Midnight Lamp" ] Holy Shit .. its so fucking weird and cool all at the same time. Hollywood .. Its just going to have to be done, don't fucking hate me for this .. but I'm still inviting Elisha over .. its in the stars dude. .. I read my horoscope for tomorrow .. and it went like this: "Everything will go well: You'll efficiently control your energy and you'll succeed in launching great projects. You'll need to exert yourself physically and do a good drainage of your digestive system. You'll be at the disposal of your friends and this will give them much pleasure. You won't have to go to the other end of the world in order to find love: It will be there within arms reach!" Ok thats my Chinese Horoscope .. My Regular horoscope was: "The boundaries soften and bend. 'No' turns into 'maybe' and from there it might not be that far to the edge of 'Yes'. Believe your senses, even if your witnessing events that turn the current logic on its head. You've rehearsed a scenario like this one and now that its finally here, you know what you'll do. Others are less familiar with this situation and the feeling it brings up. Can you educate them? Is this something that they'll have to go through on their own? Whatever happens now, life is about to get interesting." Holy freakin shit .. I know what thats referring to .. and anyone that knows me really really well +cough cough+ Hollywood +cough cough+ should know too. heh. Ok .. so I didnt talk to Elisha about it today, but i was busy .. so theres my excuse. So according to my horoscopes .. it has to be done tomorrow. Holy damn .. thats weird. Is that not weird? Oh hell .. I'm freaking out over this. You know .. its weird .. I got ANOTHER picture of Elisha today .. I would put it up here, but you know .. eh. Ok so yeah .. Someone needs to get Westin away from me, Nicole Officially has a little stalker. .. He's a freshman .. WHAT THE FUCK? .. urgghhh .. Anyway .. The weekend .. Tomorrow .. YESSS! .. Even though it might not be as good as it was going to be two days ago .. it will still be fun. 1 bottles of glue || Break my motherfucking heart

And we decide which is right .. and which is an illusion... [20 Aug 2003|03:19pm] [ mood | confused ] [ music | The Moody Blues: "Knights in White Satin" (The Elisha song) ] I got a new picture of Elisha today .. very bad quality .. the flash was not working .. so you should be able to see some of it. Its so fucking cute. Today was just a regular day .. but a good day none the less. I think Elisha might think I'm mad at him .. So I have to straighen this out. I didn't mean to avoid him and not talk to him today .. and I kind of accidently gave him this "what are you looking at?" look when he was staring at me earlier .. so I hope things are still .. whatever they were before with us. So, I guess i'll fix things tomorrow, and talk to him. Yeahhh. Anyway .. I still cant wait until this weekend. ASLDKJHFL.D;KFJH KasL KAJSDJAJ .. Whoa .. all of that was excitement .. Oh yeah, and if you're reading this Hollywood .. I tried to avoid Westin today .. but guess what .. the little fucker saw me walking and i was halfway to World History .. and he comes up next to me .. He talks to me for a little bit, then he has to walk back the other way to his 6th period. What a weirdo, he went completely out of his way to come talk to me about nothing of importance .. just same old same old talk. And then when Me and Stephen were leaving World History, Westin saw us come out, and he was walking with a friend of his .. he points over at me and says "Thats her." to his friend .. i was thinking .. "ok ..? what the fuck?" .. Hollywood .. what the fuck is going on! .. dude i so have to talk to you. ( Read more... ) Cheers Mate, Nicole 3 bottles of glue || Break my motherfucking heart

Another days useless energy spent ... [19 Aug 2003|09:41pm] [ mood | happy ] [ music | Ted Nugent: "Stranglehold" ] On Monday we had a fire drill .. which was good, because it got us out of Second period for about 20 minutes. Elisha was out there with me and Ryan. Seeing Elisha was amazing. After the firedrill I said "God Elisha's so sexy" as he was walking away .. and I didnt realize i said it outloud until I heard Ryan say: "Yeah, i'd do him." All i could do was laugh and say " haha .. Yeah so would I" Haha .. lunch was funny as hell. Josh threw a bag of cookies and it hit Matt, so Matt grabbed it and chucked it back at Josh. Matt missed him with the cookies, so Josh grabbed an empty water bottle, and flings it at Matt, but Matt caught it and threw it back at Josh, and it smacked him right in the side of the face. So while thats going on, there was a can of Sierra Mist on the table, so i grabbed it and flung it at Josh's lap, and some of it poured out on his crotch, and I yelled "Haha .. Josh Sierra Misted his pants .." and then everybody at the fucking table laughed, and Elisha had to catch his breath laughing he was like "hahahahah .. holy shit dude .. haha ..+sigh+" .. So then Elisha just sat and stared at me .. I looked over at Josh and he had this look on his face like he was going to yell out something about me to Elisha .. so I glared at him and mouthed "Dont you dare ..." But Ryan caught on and yelled "Nicole wants your dick" ... Jesus Christ .. What is this? A weekly thing? Elisha is so fucking hot. After school I was walking with Elisha and we were having a really good decent conversation, just the two of us .. it was great .. I had to leave though, I told him I did, but he kept talking to me, then he realized I said I had to go, so he said "Oh .. later" God .. so fucking sexy. I decided that I'm going to try to convince my mom to hang out at Phillip's house friday night so me and Hollywood can sneak Elisha over to my house, and just hide him in my room when my mom gets back home. And then sneak him back out after she goes to bed. Damn man .. I think its brilliant. Its bound to work. Its way better than the idea I had to steal the car. Waaaaaay better. Oh man .. I can't wait until this weekend. Cheers Mate, Nicole 2 bottles of glue || Break my motherfucking heart

The Simulator has been disengaged [17 Aug 2003|08:34pm] [ mood | cheerful ] [ music | Lower Class Brats: "Addicted To Oi!" ] Whoo hoo! Today fucking ruled ass. Ryan and Billy came over at around 2 30, and we sat in my room for like 2 hours and just got high and played guitar. We went outside to skate and burn stuff, Ryan and I almost started a forest fire. Later we got the munchies, so we walked down to the gas station, and we dicked around in there, so the clerk came up to us and was like "do you guys need help?" and Billy was like "Uhh .. no, we're just looking" So we walked off to the next aisle, and the clerk pretended to reaarange the syrup bottles while he kept a close watch on us. So we ended up buying a whole bunch of candy and some ice cream. When we got back to my house, my little brother was there. So we sat in the Living room and watched "Misled Youth" and "This Is Skateboarding". So naturally after watching those, we were in the mood to skate. So we go back outside and then Ryan gets in the Little Red Wagon, and my brother gets on his bike .. so they have races. And I'm having to push Ryan. Hahaha .. it was so fucking funny, Ryan capsized the wagon like 3 times. Then after we're all sweating our eyes out, Billy goes and gets on the swing, Ryan pushes him off, and hes like "Push me Nicole, Push me!" in some little kid voice. So i started pushing him and Billy's standing there throwing sticks at Ryan saying "Lets play throw sticks at the kid on the swing" So Ryans high up in the air, and Billy runs behind the swing and pushes him up higher, and Ryan goes "Weeeeee!" and when he came back down Billy kicked the swing instead of pushing it .. and Ryan flew off and hit a tree. hahaha .. it was so fucking funny. And now it fucking sucks that we have to school tomorrow. Oh well .. Next weekend is going to kick even more ass. -|[Nicole]|- 9 bottles of glue || Break my motherfucking heart

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